How many of you think that it's reasonable for a woman to get to a certain age and completely give up on the idea of marriage and children? I think I am going to put the idea out of my mind and I am starting to be okay with that. I was just wondering if others have made the same decision. I stopped looking for love 10 years ago and still haven't found it. I also think it's tough to find men who are within my dating age range who are single. How many of you have made that decision to not get married and have kids?

SeventeenDayze said:

I stopped looking for love 10 years ago and still haven't found it.

eerrr, I thought the Internet and certain (trusty) webs were ideal for your situation

believe me, plenty of +40 yo single men out there, divorced or not

anyway, being single means freedom

Sure it's perfectly reasonable. However, IMO, it's always good to remain open to marriage and not take the approach that you're "giving up". You may have stopped looking for love 10 years ago but love may find you instead of you looking for it.

Sounds more to me like since the right guy still hasn't found you yet that you'd rather tell yourself you are giving up on love when you really aren't (because you said "you still haven't found it yet"). Number one, stop looking so damn hard. Just be yourself, do the things that you like to do and that love will find you instead. Marriage and kids don't necessarily mean a happy life. I know plenty who are in marriages now that are unhappy as hell...which makes me more appreciative of my single life and not giving up on my standards. I know that one day I will meet that special guy but for now, I am fine with coming and going as I please, doing what I want to do, when I want to do it.

Co-sign with missfee. Absolutely nothing wrong with being single - total freedom, no financial/emotional burden, and NO DRAMA. At 52, I've never been married - not my thang. I'm sure I don't get half the crap my single female friends get. I think it sucks the way society and 'well-intentioned' family /friends regard women who aren't married or with someone. Fuck that shit, do what makes you happy.

ZombieKitten said:

MoBetterBliss said:

SeventeenDayze said:

I stopped looking for love 10 years ago and still haven't found it.

No, it makes perfect sense...a friend of mine stopped trying to lose weight a year ago and she still hasn't lost any.

ZombieKitten said:

Definitely single is better than a guy who's not right for you.

Yes a million times over ...

I think you’re better off seeking to be happy alone. If someone comes along then, hey, bonus. If they don’t, then you’re happy as you are.

I was always the single girl and just assumed I would be forever. While I wanted to find someone I hated dating and all of that nonsense so I just concentrated on doing the things I did enjoy. I’ve been with my man now for 3 and a half years and we will likely be together for the long haul.

Still, if I hadn’t met him I’d probably be happily single now.

All I did was read the title of this thread on the forum homepage, and now THIS is running through my damn head!!!

missfee said:

Sounds more to me like since the right guy still hasn't found you yet that you'd rather tell yourself you are giving up on love when you really aren't (because you said "you still haven't found it yet"). Number one, stop looking so damn hard. Just be yourself, do the things that you like to do and that love will find you instead. Marriage and kids don't necessarily mean a happy life. I know plenty who are in marriages now that are unhappy as hell...which makes me more appreciative of my single life and not giving up on my standards. I know that one day I will meet that special guy but for now, I am fine with coming and going as I please, doing what I want to do, when I want to do it.

ZombieKitten said:

Definitely single is better than a guy who's not right for you.

That's true. I guess there's something to be said for being alone rather than being in bad company Sometimes it's weird because it seems like I am the last single girl on the planet, even though I know that I am not it just feels that way sometimes.

yes your better off ..

http://prince.org/msg/100/401649

That should answer your question lol ...

I think some people are looking for love in all the wrong places (cue the music ) and have an attraction for (and go after) those who aren't good for them. What happens is they just keep repeating the same crap & dysfunction over and over again by getting involved in one bad relationship after another rather than actually looking for someone that's compatible and the right fit. Love always seems to escape them.

*

I can honestly say that I've never "looked for love" in my entire life. It either happens (the connection) or it doesn't for me. It's not something that I've ever intentionally searched for. To be honest, I'm pretty sure it's never come looking for me. When I said it may find you, I meant, the connection may happen when you least expect it. Not that love was actually "looking" for you.

*

There are things I really regret looking back. Marrying my first husband was a travesty. However, I was over that a LONG time ago. He never even crosses my mind I'm so over it. LOL I couldn't wait to get rid of him. In fact, looking back it's like I was never even married to him. One thing I do regret is being so committed in high school & college. I never gave myself any room to breathe. I love & prefer commited relationships (to being single) and it comes very naturally for me to be in relationships. However, I just wish that in high school and college I hadn't been so darn committed or involved in serious relationships. I do regret that even though I learned a lot from those experiences. I don't harbor any hard feelings about it. It's just that if I had to do it over again, I'd be a free bird during those years.

*

Being single truly has it's benefits. No doubt about that. It's just if you're the kind of person that pefers to be in a relationship, than being single can be a downer.

Never Get Married.

I'm not sure that taking advice from the Kid's father in PR is a good thing to do. Obviously, that "relationship" in the movie wasn't a healthy one.

*

I never should have married my first husband. Big mistake. However, just because I had a bad experience first time around doesn't mean I would advise anyone else to not get married. Trust me, there were plenty of warning signs & red flags before I married him and I foolishly chose to ignore them. It was a huge mistake on my part and I learned from it. Boy did a learn from it and the HARD WAY.

*

The good thing is that I didn't allow it to embitter me towards marriage or men. It wasn't "marriage's" fault that I married him and I know that all men out there aren't like him (thank goodness). I never should have married him in the first place and looking back, I knew it going in. Thank goodness I didn't stay with him or I'd probably be dead by now.

*

Smart women, foolish choices.

you know what men (well. this man anyway) find attractive?

a woman that isn't needy and has her shit together

Byron said:

MoBetterBliss said:

No, it makes perfect sense...a friend of mine stopped trying to lose weight a year ago and she still hasn't lost any.

oh ok... got it now

MoBetterBliss said:

Uhope said:

MoBetterBliss said:

you know what men (well. this man anyway) find attractive?

a woman that isn't needy and has her shit together

Hmmm. I'm told that makes a woman "intimidating". Fascinating...

i said men... not boys

G3000 said:

Never Get Married.

Yes because you bitch when dating assholes who treat you like shit and bitch about good guys who are pushovers.Stay single and do future sperm a favor.

iaminparties said:

I've never dated a pushover so I wouldn't know what that's like.

*

When I married an arsehole, I was too afraid to talk about it (let alone bitch).

*

Isn't there something in between arsehole & pushover? You know, a happy medium? Or in your books, are these the only 2 kinds of men out there?

*

[Edited 9/26/13 17:01pm]

Uhope said:

MoBetterBliss said:

you know what men (well. this man anyway) find attractive?

a woman that isn't needy and has her shit together

Hmmm. I'm told that makes a woman "intimidating". Fascinating...

Who told you that?