dJJ said:

Uhope said:

To Byron: Who knows? You menfolk are funny, sometimes

In this case, "intimidating" probably means "My normal bullshit won't work on her and I don't know what to do."

I love being single. Maybe too much. Maybe later I will change my mind, but for the time being, single with no kids is F A N T A S T I C ! !

Beautifulstarr123 said:

Uhope said:

No, I think I'd like married life, given the opportunity.

I'm sure you are a nice person, but pardon me for saying this, but you come off in your posts as being too desperate.

If you posts this on e-harmony, those men would run.

what a ridiculous thing to say

she's sharing her experiences in a thread where it's completely relevant

MoBetterBliss said:

Beautifulstarr123 said:

I'm sure you are a nice person, but pardon me for saying this, but you come off in your posts as being too desperate.

If you posts this on e-harmony, those men would run.

what a ridiculous thing to say

she's sharing her experiences in a thread where it's completely relevant

I told her to have a nice day.

....and you do the same.

Beautifulstarr123 said:

MoBetterBliss said:

what a ridiculous thing to say

she's sharing her experiences in a thread where it's completely relevant

I told her to have a nice day.

....and you do the same.

stop flirting with me... it makes you look desperate

I'm better off being single and don't feel wired for a relationship, but have serious daddy issues that have caused emotional problems for me whether I'm in a relationship or not.

MoBetterBliss said:

Beautifulstarr123 said:

I told her to have a nice day.

....and you do the same.

stop flirting with me... it makes you look desperate

In your dreams.

Beautifulstarr123 said:

MoBetterBliss said:

stop flirting with me... it makes you look desperate

In your dreams.

Intimidating...that's a turn-off for guys.

dJJ said:

i almost didn't respond to seventeendayz' thread because her threads are usually about relationships and that's not my strong suit.

*

however, on this point i have data. short answer to the main question: yes. statistically, married women incur a very stressful lifestyle including: full time job, plus the 'second shift' of raising children, housework for the family, shopping for the family, laundry for the family, and etc.

*

there are exceptions to this general rule, and gender role reversals are becoming more common, but by far it is mostly true. even today in enlightened america the distribution of household chores is not equal

*

http://economix.blogs.nyt...nder/?_r=0

http://www.huffingtonpost...86747.html

http://www.theguardian.co...lity-women

MoBetterBliss said:

The only way I'd do the whole "housewife" thing is if I had a nanny and a housekeeper and a job that paid big bucks that didn't require me to work in an office. If it's not like that then I won't do it.

I usually feel optimistic about marriage one day, that is until I watch those shows about people who marry crazy ass spouses then write a book about it

SeventeenDayze said:

How many of you think that it's reasonable for a woman to get to a certain age and completely give up on the idea of marriage and children? I think I am going to put the idea out of my mind and I am starting to be okay with that. I was just wondering if others have made the same decision. I stopped looking for love 10 years ago and still haven't found it. I also think it's tough to find men who are within my dating age range who are single. How many of you have made that decision to not get married and have kids?

I've been single most my life. I truly think it's a matter of karma and being soul-ready for such a thing, and sometimes this lifetime is too soon. I respect where I am and know there's a cosmic reason why I am here and am still working all these things out in due process. I am 46, so beyond childbearing age and unmarried. It's actually a relief that the childbearing choice is over so I don't have to think about it, and pressures to conform lighten up as you get older too. I'm fine with not being married or a parent. My life is very full and crafted in a unique way. On the other hand, I am increasingly interested in relationships and feeling ready for some more depth in that area. This quest is turning out to be a beautiful, difficult and magnificent spiritual journey. I am heading inevitably into LOVE by a force I cannot pretend to resist. Marriage and children are irrelevant, those are different paths and may not always be connected to love, but rather a need for place and role in society. I am more interested in the sacred path of the heart, wherever that brings me.

Byron said:

MoBetterBliss said:

No, it makes perfect sense...a friend of mine stopped trying to lose weight a year ago and she still hasn't lost any.

V10LETBLUES said:

I love being single. Maybe too much. Maybe later I will change my mind, but for the time being, single with no kids is F A N T A S T I C ! !

For me, being single is a selfish thing. I look back at my own family and see all the WORK that raising a family takes (though I know for parents it's not really work)
I have nicer things, go out a lot more, travel a lot more than my parents had. I get to act like a dork more than my mom did...and it's ok.

V10LETBLUES said:

For me, being single is a selfish thing. I look back at my own family and see all the WORK that raising a family takes (though I know for parents it's not really work)
I have nicer things, go out a lot more, travel a lot more than my parents had. I get to act like a dork more than my mom did...and it's ok.

Ah, but that's more about having kids than a significant other. My bf and I do all that stuff too, sometimes together, sometimes apart. It's the kids that spend all your money and take up all your free time and you have even more of both if you're sharing rent, chores and bills with someone.

CarrieMpls said:

V10LETBLUES said:

For me, being single is a selfish thing. I look back at my own family and see all the WORK that raising a family takes (though I know for parents it's not really work)
I have nicer things, go out a lot more, travel a lot more than my parents had. I get to act like a dork more than my mom did...and it's ok.

Ah, but that's more about having kids than a significant other. My bf and I do all that stuff too, sometimes together, sometimes apart. It's the kids that spend all your money and take up all your free time and you have even more of both if you're sharing rent, chores and bills with someone.

True, but I was thinking of marriage. Having a bf or gf here and there I still consider it being single

V10LETBLUES said:

CarrieMpls said:

Ah, but that's more about having kids than a significant other. My bf and I do all that stuff too, sometimes together, sometimes apart. It's the kids that spend all your money and take up all your free time and you have even more of both if you're sharing rent, chores and bills with someone.

True, but I was thinking of marriage. Having a bf or gf here and there I still consider it being single

I don't see any difference between a marriage and a serious relationship without getting married apart from that contract that you can end anytime anyway

V10LETBLUES said:

CarrieMpls said:

Ah, but that's more about having kids than a significant other. My bf and I do all that stuff too, sometimes together, sometimes apart. It's the kids that spend all your money and take up all your free time and you have even more of both if you're sharing rent, chores and bills with someone.

True, but I was thinking of marriage. Having a bf or gf here and there I still consider it being single

Eh, we've been together for 3 and a half years and live together. I'm not marreid yet, but I most definitely don't consider myself single.

SeventeenDayze said:

The only way I'd do the whole "housewife" thing is if I had a nanny and a housekeeper and a job that paid big bucks that didn't require me to work in an office. If it's not like that then I won't do it.

I usually feel optimistic about marriage one day, that is until I watch those shows about people who marry crazy ass spouses then write a book about it

It seems that for you, marriage and children are all on the same pile.

So, now you are single and going trough life just like the rest of us. Struggling, solving problems and in the mean time having a laugh about it all (hopefully). However, in stead of your current life, you want to be adored by a man, who marries you, has children with you, while you have a lot of money without having to do something for it.

Yes, me the same. If I would meet a rich man, and we love eachother, and we share the same values in life, and we both think somewhat similar about how to raise children, then yes, I would be very happy and would love to have sex all day without IUD and hopefully get pregnant and be blessed with children.

But, the changes of that scenario is not very likely.

Actually, that change is even lesser than winning the lottery.


So, I apreciate my current reality and cherish all the good things I have in life.

I hope you can too. It's more practical to value what you have in stead of thinking that somehow, magically you can have a life without any problem and struggles and be in a continues state of hapiness and bliss, because you are married with a man, have children and are rich.


How did you develop this phantasy?

Did you see that all the females that are married and have children are happy, and the ladies who are not, are unhappy?


Because I notice the opposite. The single ladies without children, are happpier and healthier than the married ones with kids and demanding jobs to pay for it all.

CarrieMpls said:

V10LETBLUES said:

True, but I was thinking of marriage. Having a bf or gf here and there I still consider it being single

Eh, we've been together for 3 and a half years and live together. I'm not marreid yet, but I most definitely don't consider myself single.

living together is a clincher. I peresonally would find it hard to live with someone right now, I enjoy my own place too much.

V10LETBLUES said:

I love being single. Maybe too much. Maybe later I will change my mind, but for the time being, single with no kids is F A N T A S T I C ! !

Me too.

Allthough I have always felt I wanted children of my own. And now that I'm 39, I'm in denial that I should let it go or take action.


I just don't know.

And I'm afraid that in a few years, nature has decided for me. And I'm afraid that I will regret for the rest of my life that I never had children.

I miss JustErin in this thread.

Djj,

*

Adoption is always an option.

*

[Edited 9/30/13 14:38pm]