Vendetta1 said:

chocolate1 said:

Feel the love....

Did I mention that I CAN'T WAIT?!

we'll be jumping up and down together at Union Station.

[img:$uid]http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j171/RTorna/quotes%20and%20icons/e_jumping_1.gif[/img:$uid]

Vendetta1 said:

I love you too and I'm counting the hours til I get to tell you face to face.

Not that anyone asked, but I think you and John (and Ron) would make AWESOME babies!

I hope you're glad to see me too??!

I wanna jump too!

BklynBabe said:

I wanna jump too!

Be there!!

myfavorite said:

I hope you're glad to see me too??!

You make me nervous but I'll be glad to see you too.

Lammastide said:

Vendetta1 said:

I love you too and I'm counting the hours til I get to tell you face to face.

Not that anyone asked, but I think you and John (and Ron) would make AWESOME babies!

Oh we would.

My lusting after Daddy Ron is probably gonna get me fucked up this weekend.

I never gave much thought to it one way or the other when I was young. I truly felt like it would be fine with me either way.

When I got pregnant I looked at it as a surprise rather than an accident because I wasn't particularly trying to avoid it. Even though the timing wasn't ideal, I cannot imagine my life without these two knuckleheads,

It's hard to explain but sometimes when we are out together I kind of lag behind just so I can watch the two of them walking side by side...I doubt there is anything I could see traveling the world that would equal that in my eyes.

-or when my youngest is showering and I'm fretting over whether he will remember to turn the water all the way off so he doesn't run up the damn water bill...then, out of the blue he will burst into song with that awful voice of his,

-or last Thanksgiving when I was tired as hell after cooking and cleaning all day...until these two put on some music and started dancing and clowning around...every bit of the exhaustion left me and I couldn't stop laughing.

There have been some very difficult times, especially when I found myself being a single mom. There's also been times when I absolutely wanted to strangle them!

I can't say how it will be for you Carrie, but when all is said and done, I have no regrets and I wouldn't trade my sons for anything in the world.

Vendetta1 said:

BklynBabe said:

I wanna jump too!

Be there!!

I'm trying, I'm trying...I did get paid! But I can't spring for a hotel so I'm thinking of meeting y'all on Saturday and hanging out all day and then leaving Sunday morn after brunch and a shitload of coffee LOL

BklynBabe said:

Vendetta1 said:

Be there!!

I'm trying, I'm trying...I did get paid! But I can't spring for a hotel so I'm thinking of meeting y'all on Saturday and hanging out all day and then leaving Sunday morn after brunch and a shitload of coffee LOL

If you're not afraid of me, I have an extra bed in my hotel room.

Vendetta1 said:

BklynBabe said:

I'm trying, I'm trying...I did get paid! But I can't spring for a hotel so I'm thinking of meeting y'all on Saturday and hanging out all day and then leaving Sunday morn after brunch and a shitload of coffee LOL

If you're not afraid of me, I have an extra bed in my hotel room.

scurred!

I may need to crash or shower, I will totally kick you a few dollars or buy your brunch!!!

Imma orgnote you my number!

BklynBabe said:

Vendetta1 said:

If you're not afraid of me, I have an extra bed in my hotel room.

scurred!

I may need to crash or shower, I will totally kick you a few dollars or buy your brunch!!!

Imma orgnote you my number!

Nah, you don't have to.

Vendetta1 said:

BklynBabe said:

scurred!

I may need to crash or shower, I will totally kick you a few dollars or buy your brunch!!!

Imma orgnote you my number!

Nah, you don't have to.

gurl....now you know, especially after all this parenting talk, that I had the type of mama that would kick my ass for freeloading LOL. My mama did invest a lot of home training in me! You already know

A serious but a very important topic for both of you.

If it turns out that he still wants a child and you feel in your heart having a child is definately not for you ........ then this could be the make it or break it of a relationship, if he is considering marrying you. Then again, you might decide to have one.

It's good to discuss all kinds of things from money to child rearing etc. At least those topics of discussion get dealt with. At least you both will be on the same page.

Good luck

I just have to mention how striking the recent changes in your life have been, Carrie. In just the past two years or so, you've...

* Ditched a cigarette habit you'd had for years!

* Bought an awesome new home! Your first, am I correct? (And somehow you even got Anxiety to get dirty and help paint it! )

* Found someone who is possibly husband material, when you used to think that was way unlikely to ever happen.

These are such big girl things to do! It's actually all quite inspiring. Sooo... who knows what other sudden shifts are coming your way? Granted, I don't know you well, but based on what I have pieced together over the years, I can imagine you with a kid... and managing quite swimmingly.

[Edited 9/20/10 19:19pm]

Lammastide said:

I just have to mention how striking the recent changes in your life have been, Carrie. In just the past two years or so, you've...

* Ditched a cigarette habit you'd had for years!

* Bought an awesome new home! Your first, am I correct? (And somehow you even got Anxiety to get dirty and help paint it! )

* Found someone who is possibly husband material, when you used to think that was way unlikely to ever happen.

These are such big girl things to do! It's actually all quite inspiring. Sooo... who knows what other sudden shifts are coming your way? Granted, I don't know you well, but based on what I have pieced together over the years, I can imagine you with a kid... and managing quite swimmingly.

[Edited 9/20/10 19:19pm]

Someone's catching on...

I am considering this now when I haven't before as my life is very different now than it has been. I see things and myself differently than I used to.

My mind's certainly not made up yet. I still have lots of reservations. But I'm open to the possibility, where I never was in the past.

And thanks again to EVERYONE for their participation here. This has given me some really great food for thought.

Vendetta1 said:

I'm am awesome person. My sons are awesome kids but my daughter is a holy fucking terror. I will not own that, period.

Carrie, consider every best case and worst case scenario when thinking of bringing a child into the world. My oldest son was born with developmental delays. My middle child has autism. I encourage everyone I know to explore how much children change your life and sometimes it's not for the better. Be 100% sure a child is what you want because the child will know if he or she is not wanted.

Being a mother these almost 23 years has been a hell of a ride but I wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for them. My kids have taught me patience, sacrifice and what it feels like to be willing to die for someone.

Good luck. I think you'd be an awesome mom.

I have given a lot of thought to this as well. Having a child with special needs brings it to a whole different level.

And thanks, Ivy.

Vendetta1 said:

Lammastide said:

Not that anyone asked, but I think you and John (and Ron) would make AWESOME babies!

Oh we would.

My lusting after Daddy Ron is probably gonna get me fucked up this weekend.

Vendetta1 said:

myfavorite said:

I hope you're glad to see me too??!

You make me nervous but I'll be glad to see you too.

There is safety in numbers.

We love you myfavorite. All will be fine.

BklynBabe said:

Ottensen said:

So what does that mean for Brkln, considering she's a mom?

I'm just Auntie, having to play mom. But I was lucky enough to be there when my nephew was born and to see his personality even as a lil baby, and I know the environment he was raised in, and how I have been raising him, and the mental issues on both sides of his families.

I also don't believe Jeffery Dahmer parents raised him to eat people. I don't believe people's parents make them gay. I don't think children that are told and shown relentlessly not to lie or steal would keep lying and stealing unless they have some sort of problem. I also get real tired of people saying "children do this, and children do that" like it all stops when you turn 18, when we already know adults do the same things. Some adults are loud and obnoxious individuals. Many adults act in ways that are just crazy or foul. All people are born different and some are not born "right". You can even see this with dog and cats, so why would people be different.

It's not just having a child...it's raising a human being. It's a lot of work, and sometimes there are rewards and sometimes there is pain. There's no easy answer because the positive and negative are all wrapped up together

This is why you need to be sure it's something you really want in your life before you do it, and something you do for yourself and not anyone else. There are too many children being neglected, abused, and even murdered by people that have no business being around children (Carrie is in no way that type of individual) yet society keeps telling people having children will make life better, and you will receive unconditional love from these kids, and etc etc.

There are no guarantees of anything when dealing with another person, so you should make damn sure it's something you are ready for. At least with marriage, if you really had to walk away, you could. Walking away from a child (and people do that too) is just wrong

Look at the positives:

you will love them ....(not a given)

they will love you....(not a given)

they will take care of you in your old age....(not a given)

Look at the negatives:

you will spend a buttload of money on them (given)

you will spend a chunkload of time with them (given)

you will change your life in a myriad of ways which may be good or bad (given)

Now if you are adaptable to deal with the good and bad and know what you are getting into, no probs. If not, then I think, with regards to bringing another life into this world, then you shouldn't do it until you are absolutely sure you can handle all of it.

I'm glad for people that have been enriched by having children, but for many people it is not enriching or fulfilling and you know who ends up losing....the children!

I commend you Carrie for initiating discussion and using your mind before your uterus It is a big step to take and you and bf should be discussing it. I think if you do decide to become a family one day, that is what would make your family be enriching to your own life, because you have communicated and made decisions together.

Preach!

To be perfectly blunt about it, and speaking as someone who has known since the age of thirteen that he was never going to have kids, if you don't want a child, don't have one. There is no acceptable compromise in this regard. There are far too many people in this world who regret having children, or who just plain shouldn't have and end up doing a piss poor job of the whole thing.

If you know it's not something that you've ever been interested in, why would you change your mind about it now? For love? Because you think that will make the relationship last? Is taking away from the time you have to spend together and creating a whole other WORLD of things to worry about REALLY what you think will help in that regard?

I'm not trying to be an asshole here, either. But you mentioned that it was never something you wanted in the past. So in that regard I feel like I need to put this stuff out there. I know it's not popular, but I don't care. The societal norms forced upon us to go to school, get a steady job, buy car, get a mate, get married, buy house, have kids, wash, rinse and repeat are nonsense. They don't work for everybody and it's unfortunate that people who don't play by those rules are seen as the "strange" ones.

Anyway. Nuff' said. I'm actually really holding back here. But that's generally how I feel about it.

CarrieMpls said:

Lammastide said:

I just have to mention how striking the recent changes in your life have been, Carrie. In just the past two years or so, you've...

* Ditched a cigarette habit you'd had for years!

* Bought an awesome new home! Your first, am I correct? (And somehow you even got Anxiety to get dirty and help paint it! )

* Found someone who is possibly husband material, when you used to think that was way unlikely to ever happen.

These are such big girl things to do! It's actually all quite inspiring. Sooo... who knows what other sudden shifts are coming your way? Granted, I don't know you well, but based on what I have pieced together over the years, I can imagine you with a kid... and managing quite swimmingly.

[Edited 9/20/10 19:19pm]

Someone's catching on...

I am considering this now when I haven't before as my life is very different now than it has been. I see things and myself differently than I used to.

My mind's certainly not made up yet. I still have lots of reservations. But I'm open to the possibility, where I never was in the past.

And thanks again to EVERYONE for their participation here. This has given me some really great food for thought.

It's an excellent idea to gather every bit of information you can to help you decide but keep in mind that there's a strong possibility that there will still be things, great and not so great, that you could never anticipate. If you are prepared to handle the unexpected in spite of all the thought and planning going into it, that will help you decide.

Luv4u also made a good point about this being a crossroads in your relationship, so by all means take your time thinking it over. I have every confidence in your judgement and think that you will ultimately make the best choice for your life.

Be encouraged!

Vendetta1 said:

myfavorite said:

I hope you're glad to see me too??!

You make me nervous but I'll be glad to see you too.

..i think???...

SCNDLS said:

BklynBabe said:

I'm just Auntie, having to play mom. But I was lucky enough to be there when my nephew was born and to see his personality even as a lil baby, and I know the environment he was raised in, and how I have been raising him, and the mental issues on both sides of his families.

I also don't believe Jeffery Dahmer parents raised him to eat people. I don't believe people's parents make them gay. I don't think children that are told and shown relentlessly not to lie or steal would keep lying and stealing unless they have some sort of problem. I also get real tired of people saying "children do this, and children do that" like it all stops when you turn 18, when we already know adults do the same things. Some adults are loud and obnoxious individuals. Many adults act in ways that are just crazy or foul. All people are born different and some are not born "right". You can even see this with dog and cats, so why would people be different.

It's not just having a child...it's raising a human being. It's a lot of work, and sometimes there are rewards and sometimes there is pain. There's no easy answer because the positive and negative are all wrapped up together

This is why you need to be sure it's something you really want in your life before you do it, and something you do for yourself and not anyone else. There are too many children being neglected, abused, and even murdered by people that have no business being around children (Carrie is in no way that type of individual) yet society keeps telling people having children will make life better, and you will receive unconditional love from these kids, and etc etc.

There are no guarantees of anything when dealing with another person, so you should make damn sure it's something you are ready for. At least with marriage, if you really had to walk away, you could. Walking away from a child (and people do that too) is just wrong

Look at the positives:

you will love them ....(not a given)

they will love you....(not a given)

they will take care of you in your old age....(not a given)

Look at the negatives:

you will spend a buttload of money on them (given)

you will spend a chunkload of time with them (given)

you will change your life in a myriad of ways which may be good or bad (given)

Now if you are adaptable to deal with the good and bad and know what you are getting into, no probs. If not, then I think, with regards to bringing another life into this world, then you shouldn't do it until you are absolutely sure you can handle all of it.

I'm glad for people that have been enriched by having children, but for many people it is not enriching or fulfilling and you know who ends up losing....the children!

I commend you Carrie for initiating discussion and using your mind before your uterus It is a big step to take and you and bf should be discussing it. I think if you do decide to become a family one day, that is what would make your family be enriching to your own life, because you have communicated and made decisions together.

Preach!

1. if you live in australia the government pays you $5294 per eligible child born after July 1, 2010 in 13 fortnightly instalments of $400.

2. they are good for cuddling

3. um…

4. they make you grow up and all the petty things pale in importance by comparison

5. they make you see your own parents in a different light

6. sometimes they do well in school

7. if you can get them to help around the house you done well!

I don't think I can think of ten things!

OK, there are many good reasons you SHOULDN'T have a kid, and probably only one good one, and that is that you are confident you can raise a good human to the best of your abilities and have the patience, enthusiasm, stamina and resources to do that. Sounds like your bf has already thought of that one!!!

You will NEVER be ready to have a kid - if you think you are going to have one at some stage, just have it. Don't wait around, you'll just get older and more unsure

whatever you choose, I know you will make the right decision

ooh, ooh, I got one!

before kid, my side eye game was a'ight, but after kid I've got side eye like Zoolander and shit!

Great thread, Carrie.

tinaz said:

Vendetta1 said:

we'll be jumping up and down together at Union Station.

you guys!

johnart said:

Vendetta1 said:

You make me nervous but I'll be glad to see you too.

There is safety in numbers.

We love you myfavorite. All will be fine.

I'm dying to meet the person behind the posts.

ThreadBare said:

Great thread, Carrie.

Uh oh! We could read an awful lot into an innocent statement like that, TB. Is someone looking to "build a nation?"