I've gotten that reaction before when I tell people I don't want children. I think it comes from people who can't look outside of themselves and realize that not everybody has the same perceptions and priorities as they do.

Other people, even some who have kids, say that they don't blame me for not wanting kids. They'll usually preface it with I wouldn't take anything for mine, but...

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

lol...

I want babies. Hell, that's something I look forward to. But finding the right guy..

Oh well, I keep gettin' asked "Why you still single?", "Why don't you have a man?", or the more unusual question some dumbass woman asked my father "did you sell her into marriage yet?!"

Mutha...

I nearly slapped her for that.

Next time tell her getting plenty of Sex ....but you haven't settled down with a dude to keep yet. See how she reponds to that.

Me!

I don't take people's surprise/shock as judgement at all. I get it! There is the very real possiblity that I will change my mind (even though I don't think I will) and people tend to associate marriage with the building of families. Plus, unless people are having the surgery to ensure 100% that they won't have children then people are less likely to take you seriously. Like I said, I get where they are coming from.

Also, I get that people are less inclined to believe a woman won't want kids since we're designed to carry them and feed them and everyone's existence depends on whether we women go through with a pregnancy. I get that belief too.

If, however, people are truly being rude to you about it then that's just crazy and unacceptable and its probably best you avoid such discussions or give the ole "we haven't thought about it" response. At least do it to keep busibodies at a safe distance.

cool, do not let anyone pressure you into kids.

I would love to be part of a family:

-if father is emotional stable, non alcoholic, able to provide, responsible in daily life, accountable for his own actions, able to communicate, emotionally available.

-I'm emotional stable enough, financial stable, physical in a good and healthy condition, be able to manage better.

Guess what, I don't have kids with a standard like that....

What I find amazing is that people react very surprised when I say I might want to have kids

However, when I think of my nice and relaxing weekends, reading my newspaper, not having to be financial responsible for anybody but myself, not need to get in or stay in a relationship, can change my futureplans any day, because it only involves me, no need to be dealing with other parents, schools, babysitters etcetera...

It's very liberating not to want kids. And really nobody asks me about it. What I think is funny, because I hear so many people complain about that. Nobody even asks me about relationships. They do love me for loving their children so much and babysitting so often. My house is the 'mancave' for several 6 year old boys

(eating pizza at couch, while watching cartoons, serving coca-cola, playing monopoly and keeping scores for next visit...)

HotGritz said:

Me!

I don't take people's surprise/shock as judgement at all. I get it! There is the very real possiblity that I will change my mind (even though I don't think I will) and people tend to associate marriage with the building of families. Plus, unless people are having the surgery to ensure 100% that they won't have children then people are less likely to take you seriously. Like I said, I get where they are coming from.

Also, I get that people are less inclined to believe a woman won't want kids since we're designed to carry them and feed them and everyone's existence depends on whether we women go through with a pregnancy. I get that belief too.

If, however, people are truly being rude to you about it then that's just crazy and unacceptable and its probably best you avoid such discussions or give the ole "we haven't thought about it" response. At least do it to keep busibodies at a safe distance.

No one with a brain could think that we are somehow in danger of extinction due to a failure to breed.

That can't seriously be anyone's justification for having children.

SUPRMAN said:

HotGritz said:

since we're designed to carry them and feed them and everyone's existence depends on whether we women go through with a pregnancy.

No one with a brain could think that we are somehow in danger of extinction due to a failure to breed.

Smart women don't breed that much anymore. Lower SES females with a lesser educational grade are the most active breeders. The higher up the IQ, the less breeding needs......

Extinct? No. Just a selection of genes for future generations.

SUPRMAN said:

HotGritz said:

Me!

I don't take people's surprise/shock as judgement at all. I get it! There is the very real possiblity that I will change my mind (even though I don't think I will) and people tend to associate marriage with the building of families. Plus, unless people are having the surgery to ensure 100% that they won't have children then people are less likely to take you seriously. Like I said, I get where they are coming from.

Also, I get that people are less inclined to believe a woman won't want kids since we're designed to carry them and feed them and everyone's existence depends on whether we women go through with a pregnancy. I get that belief too.

If, however, people are truly being rude to you about it then that's just crazy and unacceptable and its probably best you avoid such discussions or give the ole "we haven't thought about it" response. At least do it to keep busibodies at a safe distance.

No one with a brain could think that we are somehow in danger of extinction due to a failure to breed.

That can't seriously be anyone's justification for having children.

Having a brain means you can be programmed to think a certain way- and thusly deprogrammed.

Some people actually believe if we stop breeding....the human race will go "poof" overnight.

I don't know if the potential extinction of the human race is anyone's justification for breeding but I do think some people have kids because they have been conditioned to think that its what they are "supposed" to do. Some people get married for the same reason. Some people go to college or take on certain careers....all because they've been brought up or socially conditioned to think that such steps are the natural and necessary way to proceed and progress in life.

^ You're kinda traditionalist with that theory. I don't believe that one bit that if we stop procreating that the world will poof. Hell 6 billion people and it's already predicted we'll poof if the population GREW.

Timmy84 said:

^ You're kinda traditionalist with that theory. I don't believe that one bit that if we stop procreating that the world will poof. Hell 6 billion people and it's already predicted we'll poof if the population GREW.

I don't believe it we'll go poof if we stop but you'd be surprised how some people think that the human race simply must go on and on through having kids.

nonsense.

Maybe that Children Of Men movie with Clive Owen freaked everybody out. It certainly isn't the first Apocalypse type film with a procreation slant.

HotGritz said:

Timmy84 said:

^ You're kinda traditionalist with that theory. I don't believe that one bit that if we stop procreating that the world will poof. Hell 6 billion people and it's already predicted we'll poof if the population GREW.

I don't believe it we'll go poof if we stop but you'd be surprised how some people think that the human race simply must go on and on through having kids.

nonsense.

Maybe that Children Of Men movie with Clive Owen freaked everybody out. It certainly isn't the first Apocalypse type film with a procreation slant.

Movies never made that impact with me lol

Timmy84 said:

HotGritz said:

I don't believe it we'll go poof if we stop but you'd be surprised how some people think that the human race simply must go on and on through having kids.

nonsense.

Maybe that Children Of Men movie with Clive Owen freaked everybody out. It certainly isn't the first Apocalypse type film with a procreation slant.

Movies never made that impact with me lol

Movies with Laz Alonso most def make me think about burfin' babies. His babies that is.

Good thing I don't know Laz. Or Idris Elba. Or Michael Ealy. Or Chris Evans. Or Chris Noth. Or Morris Chestnut.

Dammit Timmy u done it again!

HotGritz said:

Timmy84 said:

Movies never made that impact with me lol

Movies with Laz Alonso most def make me think about burfin' babies. His babies that is.

Good thing I don't know Laz. Or Idris Elba. Or Michael Ealy. Or Chris Evans. Or Chris Noth. Or Morris Chestnut.

Dammit Timmy u done it again!

xpertluva said:

Funny how people ask "when are you having kids" or "why don't you have any kids" but rarely do they ask "have you ever considered adoption?"

just a thought.

I work with kids as a speech-language pathologist in a school, so I think of them as "my children". I'm kind of jaded about wanting my own (plus I dont even have a bf right now). Some of my students were born with severe problems and I feel for a few of the young parents in denial and how much a toll it takes on them. I could not deal with that myself. I also worry that since my nephew is severely autistic (although a genetic link hasnt been proven) and mental illness runs in my family that there'd be a greater chance I'd have a child with one of those conditions.

I think in the end, though, you have to go by how YOU feel & not let others pressure you- cause ultimately you would be the one responsible for that child and not them..

kids are noisy and they only stop their noise to sleep

cloning. go ahead. mock me. but just think: no pregnancy. we're talking, giant petri dish. no labor pains. and best yet, dozens of results:

[Edited 4/28/11 17:28pm]

I look at people crazy who want kids.

I'm still undecided about the whole kid thing. I get a mixed reaction when I say I might not want them. When I make statements about not wanting kids, it seems like some of my friends think that in choosing to not have kids, it means I think they've made a mistake in having theirs, which is so false. Sometimes I feel others need justification in their decisions and since my decisions might be opposite then I'm implying they're doing something wrong. Yes, there are people that don't want to have kids and feel others shouldn't either. That's not me. I don't give a fuck what you do.

ZombieKitten said:

kids are noisy and they only stop their noise to sleep

Yes. No vocal control. It never crosses their mind.

JuliePurplehead said:

I'm still undecided about the whole kid thing. I get a mixed reaction when I say I might not want them. When I make statements about not wanting kids, it seems like some of my friends think that in choosing to not have kids, it means I think they've made a mistake in having theirs, which is so false. Sometimes I feel others need justification in their decisions and since my decisions might be opposite then I'm implying they're doing something wrong. Yes, there are people that don't want to have kids and feel others shouldn't either. That's not me. I don't give a fuck what you do.

I don't think I've ever asked someone that question, unless it were a more intimate relationship.

But casual or acquaintance . . .nah. Someone might think I care.

Thank you! They think I will change my mind later on and try to convince me and frown upon me not wanting them. So I shut them up by saying if I decide, I will adopt or get foster kids. They are okay from afar, but raising a child is serious business and I do not want to take the responsibility of raising them or blaming myself for bad parenting if it doesn't go well. I firmly believe that parenting is not for everyone and besides, I wouldn't want to have one biologically anyways for health reasons, I would blame myself if anything went wrong. Besides, I am a very impatient person and do not want that to impact my child.

Well, when I tell people that I don't want kids, they usually say "Thank God".

SUPRMAN said:

ZombieKitten said:

SUPRMAN said:

Yes. No vocal control. It never crosses their mind.

Seriously! They keep talking non-stop!!!

and as loudly as they possibly can! They pretty much only shout

NDRU said:

if this is the crazy look you r getting it's not what u think!!!!

they just look like that all of the time!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's actually a permanent look parents get after all night nursing!!!!

so don't worry about it 2 much

well... at least people here know their limitations.

i happen to love children more than anything, and i hope to have some in my life to raise sooner than later... the only thing is - i have NO desire to give birth, and i don't really have money to adopt. i looked into foster parenting, but when i did that, my living situation wasn't the best.... it still isn't according to the guidelines they look for.

where i work, i am around A LOT of babies... sometimes i get extremely sad because i really want a baby. it kills me sometimes.