paintedlady said:

luv4u said:

But her home in disarray and those kids

Are the kids clean and well fed?

Something ain't right.

Her daughter was up, baby boy was asleep. Daughter is a little angel, sweet child like her mother.

So to me she is a loving mom, but her apartment....

Her house was so nasty, you would NOT want to eat from there. I was being um, nice, but I was stepping on hangers, towels, clothing ... not one inch of floor could be seen. The kitchen was littered with dirty pots and pans and stuff was everywhere, so much so I asked if I could help straighten up. She refused the help so I left that alone. Her kids were alseep in the middle of the living room, which has a full sized bed, with a bunch of sheets and laundry piled high on one side and both kids laying there watching TV. No sofas, opened suitcaes with clothing half-way out.

There was little furniture and I think she is still "in transition" and not settled in yet so the bed in the living room didn't shock me.

What shocked me was the high volume of mess, and she's been there an entire month now.

I am a firm believer of taking care of home first, so this scene set off major red-flags to me because I do not want a women using me to socialize with and using my apartment because she is too overwhelmed to deal with her own.

I like my quite apartment, my kids are gettinmg older, and she already wants to come over and spend "family nights" together.

She has a 3 year old, hell no! I hate other people's kids and don't want to run a Romper room because she wants a friend to keep her out of her own messy place.

I may be jumping to conclusions, but I would never let my kids be in a mess like that, then walk around playing Martha Steward to the neighbors.

And everyday??? OK, I am gonna have to turn down her next offer of baked goodies politely because after seeing her nitchen I can't eat from her home.

I can not tell her that, so I will go with what Kewlschool said and play the "I'm on a diet" card.

I will invite her to a nutritional class I go to on Tuesdays though.

Oh SNAP ! Well scratch what I said about not being alarmed about the state of the apartment. there IS a difference between messy (and even eccentric/charming messy), and just plain dirty !

paintedlady said:

Tonight, she may come by with another baked something...

I will update on what ever happens.

Careful... She might be on the org

paintedlady said:

I have a new neighbor, moved in upstairs about a month ago.

She is a single mom with two kids, a girl -age9 and a boy- age3

She seems very sweet, and nice, and is a smoker and I spoke to her one day while she was out on the front stoop smoking a cigarette. I am a non-smoker and usualy never like talking to people while they smoke, but stayed down-wind and stayed polite. We spoke for maybe 5 minutes.

This was maybe last Saturday....

Monday she brought me a cake, which I thought was a very lovely surprise, and quite nice of her to do....

Tuesday, she brought me 4 chocolate covered strawberries... one for each of us... I sorta was weirded out but then found out she gave chocolate strawberries to other neighbors too.

I thanked her and decided to spend a little time with her out of courtesy, we went upstairs to her place because I didn't want her to leave her kids unattended...

I was shocked to see hangers all over her floor STILL and the place was a mess, she was still half-un packed with three large suitcases still open in the middle of the floor with clothing strewn about and the kitchen was in a total mess from the strawberries and chocolate she made.

I became concerned because it seemed like the order of her home was not important to her and I wondered if she uses her "baking" as a avoidance behavior and the kids suffer as a result.

She wouldn't let me help her straighten up, and poured me a HUGE glass of wine without asking if I wanted a drink. She just handed me this huge glass and I felt pressured into accepting it, but she would not accept help with her kitchen nor did I even have a place to sit down because the place was in such dissarray. She seemed to want to just talk and wanted to come over my place and then started talking of having her kids at my place for "family nights".

Today is Wednesday, she came over with a chocolate cake. I was sleepy because it was after 8pm and I stayed up the night before watching the election results on TV. I was a mess and apologized for not wanting company.

My older son (age 21) told me she seems like a stalker.

What do I do? Should I be worried? I seriously do NOT want sweets given to me and my kids on a daily basis. How do I handle this? I don't want to come off un-neighborly.

like Steadwood said, talk to her. ask her why she is diong this. i agree, it is unusual!

Say one of your children has diabetes and that you don't want the rest of the family eating sugar with her in the house.

Steadwood said:

paintedlady said:

Tonight, she may come by with another baked something...

I will update on what ever happens.

Careful... She might be on the org

I would be relieved if she saw this actually... it would hurt her feelings, at the details of her home and me not wanting to eat from there...

but I am not exaggerating about the state of her home... I am actually holding back because I was really shocked at the state of her home. It wa so unexpected... the mess, and letting me see it.

I will talk to her, I hope it goes smoothly.

Ottensen said:

paintedlady said:

Her daughter was up, baby boy was asleep. Daughter is a little angel, sweet child like her mother.

So to me she is a loving mom, but her apartment....

Her house was so nasty, you would NOT want to eat from there. I was being um, nice, but I was stepping on hangers, towels, clothing ... not one inch of floor could be seen. The kitchen was littered with dirty pots and pans and stuff was everywhere, so much so I asked if I could help straighten up. She refused the help so I left that alone. Her kids were alseep in the middle of the living room, which has a full sized bed, with a bunch of sheets and laundry piled high on one side and both kids laying there watching TV. No sofas, opened suitcaes with clothing half-way out.

There was little furniture and I think she is still "in transition" and not settled in yet so the bed in the living room didn't shock me.

What shocked me was the high volume of mess, and she's been there an entire month now.

I am a firm believer of taking care of home first, so this scene set off major red-flags to me because I do not want a women using me to socialize with and using my apartment because she is too overwhelmed to deal with her own.

I like my quite apartment, my kids are gettinmg older, and she already wants to come over and spend "family nights" together.

She has a 3 year old, hell no! I hate other people's kids and don't want to run a Romper room because she wants a friend to keep her out of her own messy place.

I may be jumping to conclusions, but I would never let my kids be in a mess like that, then walk around playing Martha Steward to the neighbors.

And everyday??? OK, I am gonna have to turn down her next offer of baked goodies politely because after seeing her nitchen I can't eat from her home.

I can not tell her that, so I will go with what Kewlschool said and play the "I'm on a diet" card.

I will invite her to a nutritional class I go to on Tuesdays though.

Oh SNAP ! Well scratch what I said about not being alarmed about the state of the apartment. there IS a difference between messy (and even eccentric/charming messy), and just plain dirty !

Your SIL's crib sounds lovely! I like seeing homes like that because folks like her tend to have "conversational" pieces and you can find such cool looking things in homes like those...

but my neighbor is well... different. I hope its just a temporary measure and she has just been too busy or something (which is why her baking seems odd). But everything I saw... there was just no way you can have a positive conversation about any feature in her home other than just saying

"Oh, don't fret... you just moved in... its OK... I don't need to sit down... I'll just stand here, I don't want to break anything if I walk through."

[Edited 11/8/12 11:49am]

Shes probably just a very lonley lady, maybe is depressed or something and cant bring herself to do certain things like clean up, since when youre depressed those things are too daunting.

But youre not obligated to hang around her, if you guilt trip youll find yourself in a situaiton you dont want to be in that you set yourself up to be in. Always takes two for any interaction to happen.

I would just mind your business as usual and if you notice something with the kids then get her help.

LayzieKiddZ said:

Shes probably just a very lonley lady, maybe is depressed or something and cant bring herself to do certain things like clean up, since when youre depressed those things are too daunting.

But youre not obligated to hang around her, if you guilt trip youll find yourself in a situaiton you dont want to be in that you set yourself up to be in. Always takes two for any interaction to happen.

I would just mind your business as usual and if you notice something with the kids then get her help.

Agreed.

Thanks.

Hudson said:

Say one of your children has diabetes and that you don't want the rest of the family eating sugar with her in the house.

I rather not lie...

I'll just tell her she's weirding me out.

I would tread lightly. If she continues with the cakes and stuff, tell her you wished she wouldn't because you're cutting down on sugar.

Sounds like she's either lonely or needy. She's trying to make a good impression, perhaps to gain favor for something she wants from you later on down the line, whether it be money or favors. Then again, she could just be a very nice, gullible, naive young womwn searching for a friend, but she's overextending herself and doesn't realize it. However, if she staarts skeezing you out with the "family nights" and Kumbaya, tell her that you appreciate her extension of friendship, but that you're a little more reserved and like to spend quiet evenings alone writing/reading poetry or some shit.

Shyra said:

I would tread lightly. If she continues with the cakes and stuff, tell her you wished she wouldn't because you're cutting down on sugar.

Sounds like she's either lonely or needy. She's trying to make a good impression, perhaps to gain favor for something she wants from you later on down the line, whether it be money or favors. Then again, she could just be a very nice, gullible, naive young womwn searching for a friend, but she's overextending herself and doesn't realize it. However, if she staarts skeezing you out with the "family nights" and Kumbaya, tell her that you appreciate her extension of friendship, but that you're a little more reserved and like to spend quiet evenings alone writing/reading poetry or some shit.

good stuff, I may tell her just that.

paintedlady said:

luv4u said:

But her home in disarray and those kids

Are the kids clean and well fed?

Something ain't right.

Her daughter was up, baby boy was asleep. Daughter is a little angel, sweet child like her mother.

So to me she is a loving mom, but her apartment....

Her house was so nasty, you would NOT want to eat from there. I was being um, nice, but I was stepping on hangers, towels, clothing ... not one inch of floor could be seen. The kitchen was littered with dirty pots and pans and stuff was everywhere, so much so I asked if I could help straighten up. She refused the help so I left that alone. Her kids were alseep in the middle of the living room, which has a full sized bed, with a bunch of sheets and laundry piled high on one side and both kids laying there watching TV. No sofas, opened suitcaes with clothing half-way out.

There was little furniture and I think she is still "in transition" and not settled in yet so the bed in the living room didn't shock me.

What shocked me was the high volume of mess, and she's been there an entire month now.

I am a firm believer of taking care of home first, so this scene set off major red-flags to me because I do not want a women using me to socialize with and using my apartment because she is too overwhelmed to deal with her own.

I like my quite apartment, my kids are gettinmg older, and she already wants to come over and spend "family nights" together.

She has a 3 year old, hell no! I hate other people's kids and don't want to run a Romper room because she wants a friend to keep her out of her own messy place.

I may be jumping to conclusions, but I would never let my kids be in a mess like that, then walk around playing Martha Steward to the neighbors.

And everyday??? OK, I am gonna have to turn down her next offer of baked goodies politely because after seeing her nitchen I can't eat from her home.

I can not tell her that, so I will go with what Kewlschool said and play the "I'm on a diet" card.

I will invite her to a nutritional class I go to on Tuesdays though.

Hell no. No 'family nights' get togethers. She already has one foot in the door and the 'family night' will make it two feet in.

There is a concern here, hygiene. With all those hangers, clothes, dirty dishes, and other stuff lying around is an invitation for mice and mice droppings are dangerous, as well as roaches and other bugs, lice, and other bugs. You don't need to transport some of those critters into your home.

Does she need furniture for the clothes, etc.?? There may be some supports you can direct her to, so she can get clothes, furnitures and stuff from the Salvation Army and other agencies.

I'm not worried about her, it's those kids who depend on her.

She might be transiant as well.

Don't get too involved, she may latch onto you like and then she will be hard to get rid of.

And those baked goods, put a stop to it. Tell her you rarely eat those and are watching your weight or something.

She may try the "I baked you some goodies, the least you can pay me back is by.......... 'family nights' or some other thing. You don't owe her anything.

Oh and do not lend her money. Some folks will take what they can get. Stand your ground and say no. Once you start giving her some money to help her out, she will be back for more, you will be her source for money.

luv4u said:

paintedlady said:

Her daughter was up, baby boy was asleep. Daughter is a little angel, sweet child like her mother.

So to me she is a loving mom, but her apartment....

Her house was so nasty, you would NOT want to eat from there. I was being um, nice, but I was stepping on hangers, towels, clothing ... not one inch of floor could be seen. The kitchen was littered with dirty pots and pans and stuff was everywhere, so much so I asked if I could help straighten up. She refused the help so I left that alone. Her kids were alseep in the middle of the living room, which has a full sized bed, with a bunch of sheets and laundry piled high on one side and both kids laying there watching TV. No sofas, opened suitcaes with clothing half-way out.

There was little furniture and I think she is still "in transition" and not settled in yet so the bed in the living room didn't shock me.

What shocked me was the high volume of mess, and she's been there an entire month now.

I am a firm believer of taking care of home first, so this scene set off major red-flags to me because I do not want a women using me to socialize with and using my apartment because she is too overwhelmed to deal with her own.

I like my quite apartment, my kids are gettinmg older, and she already wants to come over and spend "family nights" together.

She has a 3 year old, hell no! I hate other people's kids and don't want to run a Romper room because she wants a friend to keep her out of her own messy place.

I may be jumping to conclusions, but I would never let my kids be in a mess like that, then walk around playing Martha Steward to the neighbors.

And everyday??? OK, I am gonna have to turn down her next offer of baked goodies politely because after seeing her nitchen I can't eat from her home.

I can not tell her that, so I will go with what Kewlschool said and play the "I'm on a diet" card.

I will invite her to a nutritional class I go to on Tuesdays though.

Hell no. No 'family nights' get togethers. She already has one foot in the door and the 'family night' will make it two feet in.

There is a concern here, hygiene. With all those hangers, clothes, dirty dishes, and other stuff lying around is an invitation for mice and mice droppings are dangerous, as well as roaches and other bugs, lice, and other bugs. You don't need to transport some of those critters into your home.

Does she need furniture for the clothes, etc.?? There may be some supports you can direct her to, so she can get clothes, furnitures and stuff from the Salvation Army and other agencies.

I'm not worried about her, it's those kids who depend on her.

She might be transiant as well.

Don't get too involved, she may latch onto you like and then she will be hard to get rid of.

And those baked goods, put a stop to it. Tell her you rarely eat those and are watching your weight or something.

She may try the "I baked you some goodies, the least you can pay me back is by.......... 'family nights' or some other thing. You don't owe her anything.

Oh and do not lend her money. Some folks will take what they can get. Stand your ground and say no. Once you start giving her some money to help her out, she will be back for more, you will be her source for money.

I NEVER lend money to people... only family... but my family never asks since they know I am broke.

My red-flags were waving high when she mentioned playing Pictionary or Scrabble... I don't do game nights unless I love you... and never with a toddler in the equation.

That is a no-no! She didn't come by tonight.

She told me she is getting help through a state agency with furnishings and her church. I am glad for it.

We live in an income-based building so most tenants here are retirees (12 unit building), and the working poor, so I think there are support agencies that will help her. There is a teen center/library/gym in the next building where people go as a resource to receive services and help. The living here is cheap, its a crappy building, and rats ARE and issue due to major construction projects blocks away.

I fear the rats in my neighborhood, a pack almost took out two Yorkshires a woman was walking through the back of the building... they were rescued by a guy in a truck who almost ran the cat sized rats over. The rats are HUGE, and the make new burrows daily and the street has new pot holes from the tunnels the rats build. They ate the veggies from the community garden out back. Its crazy.

I HATE my apartment, I love the area though. I fear the rats getting in, so far so good... no rats.

But I always have to deal with leaks and water damage since I am on the 1st floor, so I am worried. Luckily, my building is filled with great caring neighbors for the most part, a very diverse group and all are a quiet and clean bunch. We all take turns checking in on our resident elderly neighbors (there are 3) during storms and blackouts.

I was nice.... until the baker chick.

Y'all are some mean motherfuckers. I think she's just a messy person but nice and is probably lonely and wants to make new friends now that she has moved into a new apartment. When I moved into my apartment 2 and a half years ago, it was the first time in my life that I lived 100% totally alone and would have to pay all 100% of the bills completely on my own with no help from anyone else. It was a very scary thing because I facing unknown territory. Add the fact that I distanced myself and cut off all contact with several relatives, I was feeling lonely too and would have loved to have been friends with some neighbors nearby simply to have someone to talk to or to just enjoy someone else's company. Unlike her though, I'm the exact opposite. Believe it or not, in real life, I'm very quiet and shy when it comes to strangers so I rarely approach them, I let them approach me. But once I get to know them, you can't shut me up then. You just never know what someone's intentions are. She could be completely innocent, or she might be a complete psycho.

lauralevesque said:

Paintedlady, I had this happen to me once! This girl, I thought she was so nice at first and at the time I was in beauty school and every damn day when I came home from school she would be sitting on my front porch waiting for me! Every damn day! And would just follow me inside as I unlocked my door. I could hardly get rid of her! At the time I was in my 20's and not assertive enough to tell her to go away. But it sounds like you have, if not a stalker, then at the very least a very disturbed individual! HER kids coming to YOUR house for "family night"? Is that what you said? WTF?!!!

She sounds like this bastard when I first moved in my apartment. I had lived here about two or three months and this guy approached me in the parking lot when I was getting out of my car and asked me for a cigarette. I gave him one and as we were standing there talking, it turns out that we went to the same school and he had graduated four years after I did and he had grown up in a neighborhood with a lot of me old ex classmates. We were catching up on all their dirt since high school and he said he could tell I liked to party. I said hell yeah and invited him over the following Friday for some drinks.

When Friday arrived, when I got out of my car, he was standing on his balcony shirtless wearing only some very thin nylon basketball type shorts with no underwear and the print of a great big ole long black dick with a huge head was just a'dangling in those shorts. I told him to come on over when he got dressed and he came right on over. I turned on the music, poured the drinks, lit some nice smelling incense, turned off all the lights, and turned on the lava lamp and a few other of my "mood" lights. He was loving the jams and as the drinks flowed, then I started mixing the jams and he was in funk heaven. As the night grew longer and we both got drunker, then I started playing the slow jams. Oh honey, I was laying them on too pulling out the Heatwave, Switch, Stylistics, Blue Magic, etc. After a slow jam set, then I put on a fast jam and he said don't change the mood that he was really feeling the slow jams I was playing. I told him I needed to switch the mood because those slow jams were turning me on and he would be surprised if he knew what I like to get into when I'm listening to them so it's just best to change the pace. Then he said "Try me, you'd be surprised.". He said those songs had his dick hard as a rock too and it was hurting so bad being strained in his pants that he'd like to pull it out if that's OK, and I said go ahead and pull that motherfucker out, I don't care. Make yourself at home. Then he pulls out a great big ole long black dick. That motherfucker was huge and thick as hell. He kept talking about it while he played with it and saying how he sure wished he had somebody that could do something for it. Finally, I said enough with this beating around the bush, bring it here motherfucker. Oh honey shit, I had that son of a bitch moaning until he ended up sqealing like a damn pig. I wanted to holler "Souweeeeeee!".

After that, the motherfucker started knocking on my door every single night right around the time he knew I was making supper. He knew I was going to be polite and offer him some so he'd show up every damn night around that time. It started getting on my nerves so finally I cussed his ass out and said "Motherfucker, I about sick of you popping up over here every night at supper time and your damn ass never contributes a damn thing to the meal". He didn't come back for a night or two and then here he comes again knocking at my door talking about "I felt so guilty about what you said and got to feeling bad so I brought something for you". Do you know what that motherfucker had? Two bottles of bottled water! I said "You motherfucker, I've got free water in the damn sink!".

Oh, we argued like hell many times over him only popping up at times when he knew I was either cooking or drinking so that he could freeload off of whatever I was eating or drinking. And that son of a bitch could guzzle up my Jim Beam like it was damn water. Oh that shit used to piss me off. But the last straw was when I found a DVD missing and confronted his ass about it. You don't steal from my ass or I will kill you. I hate a fucking thief. He had the nerve to show up at my door the next night and deny that he stole it and I told him he was a damn lie and don't ever show up at my door again and that he needs to get a fucking job like every other grown ass person if he ever wants anything and stop freedloading off other people. He then told me his dick would get him whatever he wants in life and I told him if he comes by my place again, I was going to cut his dick off and put it down his own throat.

.

.

.

[Edited 11/9/12 2:22am]

paintedlady said:

luv4u said:

But her home in disarray and those kids

Are the kids clean and well fed?

Something ain't right.

Her daughter was up, baby boy was asleep. Daughter is a little angel, sweet child like her mother.

So to me she is a loving mom, but her apartment....

Her house was so nasty, you would NOT want to eat from there. I was being um, nice, but I was stepping on hangers, towels, clothing ... not one inch of floor could be seen. The kitchen was littered with dirty pots and pans and stuff was everywhere, so much so I asked if I could help straighten up. She refused the help so I left that alone. Her kids were alseep in the middle of the living room, which has a full sized bed, with a bunch of sheets and laundry piled high on one side and both kids laying there watching TV. No sofas, opened suitcaes with clothing half-way out.

There was little furniture and I think she is still "in transition" and not settled in yet so the bed in the living room didn't shock me.

What shocked me was the high volume of mess, and she's been there an entire month now.

I am a firm believer of taking care of home first, so this scene set off major red-flags to me because I do not want a women using me to socialize with and using my apartment because she is too overwhelmed to deal with her own.

I like my quite apartment, my kids are gettinmg older, and she already wants to come over and spend "family nights" together.

She has a 3 year old, hell no! I hate other people's kids and don't want to run a Romper room because she wants a friend to keep her out of her own messy place.

I may be jumping to conclusions, but I would never let my kids be in a mess like that, then walk around playing Martha Steward to the neighbors.

And everyday??? OK, I am gonna have to turn down her next offer of baked goodies politely because after seeing her nitchen I can't eat from her home.

I can not tell her that, so I will go with what Kewlschool said and play the "I'm on a diet" card.

I will invite her to a nutritional class I go to on Tuesdays though.

She's been there a month and hasn't unpacked anything? Oh hell naw! I know there are some items that when you get into a new place and look at it, you don't want to unpack some of that stuff that you rarely use but for items like that, I have boxed up and either under the bed or in a closet out of sight. But as for the main unpacking, when I moved, as tired and worn out as I was, I couldn't wait to get it unpacked. I was too tired to unpack that first night. I mean, I was physically worn out. But as I sat there that first night, the gay in me was looking around the room imagining and coming up with ideas of how "fabulous" I could make it look with the right placement of things. The next morning, I was up bright and early unpacking and the FIRST thing I unpacked was the stereo and records.

As for her dirty dishes laying around or in the sink, I have never understood this. I mean, it's very simple. As soon as you get finished using a plate, pot, pan, or whatever, immediately rinse it out and place it in the dishwasher. When you do this each and every time you use a dish, you NEVER have a sink full of dirty dishes. And when the dishwasher gets full, then you turn it on. I don't know why some people can't do that. Even the laziest person could do that because placing ONE plate when you use it into the dishwasher takes no big effort at all.

#1 - I totally relate to you geeting skeeved out by the condition of her home. We used to have a lady in the office who loved to bake. Brought in all types of tasty goodies. One day she brought in a chocolate cake, and (since I'm the one that always finds the hair in his food) I found a big ole DOG HAIR in my slice. She had/has 2 Golden Retrievers that were her "children".

Never ever ever had another piece of anything that she baked.

#2 - sounds to me like she's desperate for friendship and is maybe overdoing it to get in your good graces. Lord knows you're as easy as pie to talk to, so she's trying to bake her way into your good graces. Could she be depressed? What is her background story?
I really like neatness...but I'd be a liar if I didn't say that my room would've made most teenagers queasy when I was going through the adjustment to moving out. Hell I may still have a box or two that haven't been unpacked after a year. I allowed my kids a couple of weeks to adjust as well before cracking the whip about getting their room in order. Transition coupled with depression makes for a chaotic environment.

Sandra you know how to get to people...I'm hoping that with some thoughtful words and suggestions, you can; a) set boundaries to your new friendship, and b) ease her transition.

BUT if she just turns out to be a needy, whacked-out slob with no redeeming qualities, then LOCK THE DOOR.

vainandy said:

Y'all are some mean motherfuckers. I think she's just a messy person but nice and is probably lonely and wants to make new friends now that she has moved into a new apartment. When I moved into my apartment 2 and a half years ago, it was the first time in my life that I lived 100% totally alone and would have to pay all 100% of the bills completely on my own with no help from anyone else. It was a very scary thing because I facing unknown territory. Add the fact that I distanced myself and cut off all contact with several relatives, I was feeling lonely too and would have loved to have been friends with some neighbors nearby simply to have someone to talk to or to just enjoy someone else's company. Unlike her though, I'm the exact opposite. Believe it or not, in real life, I'm very quiet and shy when it comes to strangers so I rarely approach them, I let them approach me. But once I get to know them, you can't shut me up then. You just never know what someone's intentions are. She could be completely innocent, or she might be a complete psycho.

Chile please. If you lived by me you woulda been in my house- with me trying to drag you to church, and you constantly filling up my Tupperware cup with Grapefruit Screwdrivers on my way to women's bible study---and likely a lot of baked goods in between the shenanigans

With me though, it's different than a lot of the folks here, I guess---I 've always had really social relationships with my neighbors where we had activities together: dinners, parties, watching games, concerts, ect. My very next door here neighbor has a key exchange with us, so we can let each other in in case we get locked out, and we also take care of each other's plants when we each go out of town. Mind you, I wouldn't try that in the States But it does kind of put me in a head space where I see neighbors more as a nice little village support system than anything else. Still, paintedlady's neighbor sounds just a teensy weensy bit off, though. I think I'd still tread lightly with her

vainandy said:

lauralevesque said:

Paintedlady, I had this happen to me once! This girl, I thought she was so nice at first and at the time I was in beauty school and every damn day when I came home from school she would be sitting on my front porch waiting for me! Every damn day! And would just follow me inside as I unlocked my door. I could hardly get rid of her! At the time I was in my 20's and not assertive enough to tell her to go away. But it sounds like you have, if not a stalker, then at the very least a very disturbed individual! HER kids coming to YOUR house for "family night"? Is that what you said? WTF?!!!

She sounds like this bastard when I first moved in my apartment. I had lived here about two or three months and this guy approached me in the parking lot when I was getting out of my car and asked me for a cigarette. I gave him one and as we were standing there talking, it turns out that we went to the same school and he had graduated four years after I did and he had grown up in a neighborhood with a lot of me old ex classmates. We were catching up on all their dirt since high school and he said he could tell I liked to party. I said hell yeah and invited him over the following Friday for some drinks.

When Friday arrived, when I got out of my car, he was standing on his balcony shirtless wearing only some very thin nylon basketball type shorts with no underwear and the print of a great big ole long black dick with a huge head was just a'dangling in those shorts. I told him to come on over when he got dressed and he came right on over. I turned on the music, poured the drinks, lit some nice smelling incense, turned off all the lights, and turned on the lava lamp and a few other of my "mood" lights. He was loving the jams and as the drinks flowed, then I started mixing the jams and he was in funk heaven. As the night grew longer and we both got drunker, then I started playing the slow jams. Oh honey, I was laying them on too pulling out the Heatwave, Switch, Stylistics, Blue Magic, etc. After a slow jam set, then I put on a fast jam and he said don't change the mood that he was really feeling the slow jams I was playing. I told him I needed to switch the mood because those slow jams were turning me on and he would be surprised if he knew what I like to get into when I'm listening to them so it's just best to change the pace. Then he said "Try me, you'd be surprised.". He said those songs had his dick hard as a rock too and it was hurting so bad being strained in his pants that he'd like to pull it out if that's OK, and I said go ahead and pull that motherfucker out, I don't care. Make yourself at home. Then he pulls out a great big ole long black dick. That motherfucker was huge and thick as hell. He kept talking about it while he played with it and saying how he sure wished he had somebody that could do something for it. Finally, I said enough with this beating around the bush, bring it here motherfucker. Oh honey shit, I had that son of a bitch moaning until he ended up sqealing like a damn pig. I wanted to holler "Souweeeeeee!".

After that, the motherfucker started knocking on my door every single night right around the time he knew I was making supper. He knew I was going to be polite and offer him some so he'd show up every damn night around that time. It started getting on my nerves so finally I cussed his ass out and said "Motherfucker, I about sick of you popping up over here every night at supper time and your damn ass never contributes a damn thing to the meal". He didn't come back for a night or two and then here he comes again knocking at my door talking about "I felt so guilty about what you said and got to feeling bad so I brought something for you". Do you know what that motherfucker had? Two bottles of bottled water! I said "You motherfucker, I've got free water in the damn sink!".

Oh, we argued like hell many times over him only popping up at times when he knew I was either cooking or drinking so that he could freeload off of whatever I was eating or drinking. And that son of a bitch could guzzle up my Jim Beam like it was damn water. Oh that shit used to piss me off. But the last straw was when I found a DVD missing and confronted his ass about it. You don't steal from my ass or I will kill you. I hate a fucking thief. He had the nerve to show up at my door the next night and deny that he stole it and I told him he was a damn lie and don't ever show up at my door again and that he needs to get a fucking job like every other grown ass person if he ever wants anything and stop freedloading off other people. He then told me his dick would get him whatever he wants in life and I told him if he comes by my place again, I was going to cut his dick off and put it down his own throat.

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[Edited 11/9/12 2:22am]

haha- you're funny!

Once I was all the way across town and looked in my rearview and this crazy bitch was behind me in her car! And I don't think it was a coincidence- damn bitch was following me!

People are damn crazy!

vainandy said:

lauralevesque said:

Paintedlady, I had this happen to me once! This girl, I thought she was so nice at first and at the time I was in beauty school and every damn day when I came home from school she would be sitting on my front porch waiting for me! Every damn day! And would just follow me inside as I unlocked my door. I could hardly get rid of her! At the time I was in my 20's and not assertive enough to tell her to go away. But it sounds like you have, if not a stalker, then at the very least a very disturbed individual! HER kids coming to YOUR house for "family night"? Is that what you said? WTF?!!!

She sounds like this bastard when I first moved in my apartment. I had lived here about two or three months and this guy approached me in the parking lot when I was getting out of my car and asked me for a cigarette. I gave him one and as we were standing there talking, it turns out that we went to the same school and he had graduated four years after I did and he had grown up in a neighborhood with a lot of me old ex classmates. We were catching up on all their dirt since high school and he said he could tell I liked to party. I said hell yeah and invited him over the following Friday for some drinks.

When Friday arrived, when I got out of my car, he was standing on his balcony shirtless wearing only some very thin nylon basketball type shorts with no underwear and the print of a great big ole long black dick with a huge head was just a'dangling in those shorts. I told him to come on over when he got dressed and he came right on over. I turned on the music, poured the drinks, lit some nice smelling incense, turned off all the lights, and turned on the lava lamp and a few other of my "mood" lights. He was loving the jams and as the drinks flowed, then I started mixing the jams and he was in funk heaven. As the night grew longer and we both got drunker, then I started playing the slow jams. Oh honey, I was laying them on too pulling out the Heatwave, Switch, Stylistics, Blue Magic, etc. After a slow jam set, then I put on a fast jam and he said don't change the mood that he was really feeling the slow jams I was playing. I told him I needed to switch the mood because those slow jams were turning me on and he would be surprised if he knew what I like to get into when I'm listening to them so it's just best to change the pace. Then he said "Try me, you'd be surprised.". He said those songs had his dick hard as a rock too and it was hurting so bad being strained in his pants that he'd like to pull it out if that's OK, and I said go ahead and pull that motherfucker out, I don't care. Make yourself at home. Then he pulls out a great big ole long black dick. That motherfucker was huge and thick as hell. He kept talking about it while he played with it and saying how he sure wished he had somebody that could do something for it. Finally, I said enough with this beating around the bush, bring it here motherfucker. Oh honey shit, I had that son of a bitch moaning until he ended up sqealing like a damn pig. I wanted to holler "Souweeeeeee!".

After that, the motherfucker started knocking on my door every single night right around the time he knew I was making supper. He knew I was going to be polite and offer him some so he'd show up every damn night around that time. It started getting on my nerves so finally I cussed his ass out and said "Motherfucker, I about sick of you popping up over here every night at supper time and your damn ass never contributes a damn thing to the meal". He didn't come back for a night or two and then here he comes again knocking at my door talking about "I felt so guilty about what you said and got to feeling bad so I brought something for you". Do you know what that motherfucker had? Two bottles of bottled water! I said "You motherfucker, I've got free water in the damn sink!".

Oh, we argued like hell many times over him only popping up at times when he knew I was either cooking or drinking so that he could freeload off of whatever I was eating or drinking. And that son of a bitch could guzzle up my Jim Beam like it was damn water. Oh that shit used to piss me off. But the last straw was when I found a DVD missing and confronted his ass about it. You don't steal from my ass or I will kill you. I hate a fucking thief. He had the nerve to show up at my door the next night and deny that he stole it and I told him he was a damn lie and don't ever show up at my door again and that he needs to get a fucking job like every other grown ass person if he ever wants anything and stop freedloading off other people. He then told me his dick would get him whatever he wants in life and I told him if he comes by my place again, I was going to cut his dick off and put it down his own throat.

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[Edited 11/9/12 2:22am]

Well, no wonder you couldn't get rid of him..... in all honesty.....

Ottensen said:

vainandy said:

Y'all are some mean motherfuckers. I think she's just a messy person but nice and is probably lonely and wants to make new friends now that she has moved into a new apartment. When I moved into my apartment 2 and a half years ago, it was the first time in my life that I lived 100% totally alone and would have to pay all 100% of the bills completely on my own with no help from anyone else. It was a very scary thing because I facing unknown territory. Add the fact that I distanced myself and cut off all contact with several relatives, I was feeling lonely too and would have loved to have been friends with some neighbors nearby simply to have someone to talk to or to just enjoy someone else's company. Unlike her though, I'm the exact opposite. Believe it or not, in real life, I'm very quiet and shy when it comes to strangers so I rarely approach them, I let them approach me. But once I get to know them, you can't shut me up then. You just never know what someone's intentions are. She could be completely innocent, or she might be a complete psycho.

Chile please. If you lived by me you woulda been in my house- with me trying to drag you to church, and you constantly filling up my Tupperware cup with Grapefruit Screwdrivers on my way to women's bible study---and likely a lot of baked goods in between the shenanigans

With me though, it's different than a lot of the folks here, I guess---I 've always had really social relationships with my neighbors where we had activities together: dinners, parties, watching games, concerts, ect. My very next door here neighbor has a key exchange with us, so we can let each other in in case we get locked out, and we also take care of each other's plants when we each go out of town. Mind you, I wouldn't try that in the States But it does kind of put me in a head space where I see neighbors more as a nice little village support system than anything else. Still, paintedlady's neighbor sounds just a teensy weensy bit off, though. I think I'd still tread lightly with her

I love my neighbors too- and love to have a support system in my community and all of that but Paintedlady's neighbor sounds cookoo and not just because she has a messy house- the mentioning of bringing HER kids to Paintedlady's house.. that is just too weird from someone you've JUST met! Yes, she should tread lightly!

I don't find it odd for her to bake things for her new neighbors, some folks are like that. Nor the fact that she hasn't full unpacked, or is even messy. But the fact she's giving away baked goods almost everyday, which can't be cheap on a mother of 2 small children, she either feels the need to buy people's friendship or she's trying to start a baking business and wants to drum up customers. Coupled with the fact that she feels no shame in letting strangers see her complete disorganization, shows that while she's desparate for friends she doesn't know how to make other people feel comfortable in her space. That's an odd combination, and a bad sign some major issues are going to show up soon.

morningsong said:

I don't find it odd for her to bake things for her new neighbors, some folks are like that. Nor the fact that she hasn't full unpacked, or is even messy. But the fact she's giving away baked goods almost everyday, which can't be cheap on a mother of 2 small children, she either feels the need to buy people's friendship or she's trying to start a baking business and wants to drum up customers. Coupled with the fact that she feels no shame in letting strangers see her complete disorganization, shows that while she's desparate for friends she doesn't know how to make other people feel comfortable in her space. That's an odd combination, and a bad sign some major issues are going to show up soon.

Now, Bobgeorge is right and it is speculation...

but I live in the northeast where the folks aren't too friendly. People do NOT say "hi" to each other when they pass one another. You have to know someone and see them daily before they warm up

to you to speak back if you speak to them.

Weirdly enough, if I lived in the south of the USA where folks are friendly and say Hello to one another, she would not seem so out of place.

This young lady is in her mid-to-late twenties and is Latino like myself. She is American, speaks perfect English and Morning song makes a great point, baking cakes (heart-shaped ) is expensive and I would rather her put her efforts into her home, unpacking, and playing with her children rather than baking stuff and giving it to people.

She didn't come by last night, I will return her plate to her tonight and thank her and ask her not to bake any more food for me again. I will extend an invitation in the spring-time for her daughter and herself to join me in the garden if they wish. The nutrition class starts up soon so I will tell her about the class, she can meet other neighbors there ... and there is a group of my neighbors who walk the beach in a group for exercise, I will give her the flyers for the groups. She will be

That community garden is the main way the neighbors socialize with one another.. the ones who can not garden, usually set up a grill and BBQ and share drinks and others play music.

I hope she takes up the offer, because that way its an even exchange and the entire community benefits from it.... even the fat greedy rats and squirrels.

Ottensen said:

vainandy said:

Y'all are some mean motherfuckers. I think she's just a messy person but nice and is probably lonely and wants to make new friends now that she has moved into a new apartment. When I moved into my apartment 2 and a half years ago, it was the first time in my life that I lived 100% totally alone and would have to pay all 100% of the bills completely on my own with no help from anyone else. It was a very scary thing because I facing unknown territory. Add the fact that I distanced myself and cut off all contact with several relatives, I was feeling lonely too and would have loved to have been friends with some neighbors nearby simply to have someone to talk to or to just enjoy someone else's company. Unlike her though, I'm the exact opposite. Believe it or not, in real life, I'm very quiet and shy when it comes to strangers so I rarely approach them, I let them approach me. But once I get to know them, you can't shut me up then. You just never know what someone's intentions are. She could be completely innocent, or she might be a complete psycho.

Chile please. If you lived by me you woulda been in my house- with me trying to drag you to church, and you constantly filling up my Tupperware cup with Grapefruit Screwdrivers on my way to women's bible study---and likely a lot of baked goods in between the shenanigans

With me though, it's different than a lot of the folks here, I guess---I 've always had really social relationships with my neighbors where we had activities together: dinners, parties, watching games, concerts, ect. My very next door here neighbor has a key exchange with us, so we can let each other in in case we get locked out, and we also take care of each other's plants when we each go out of town. Mind you, I wouldn't try that in the States But it does kind of put me in a head space where I see neighbors more as a nice little village support system than anything else. Still, paintedlady's neighbor sounds just a teensy weensy bit off, though. I think I'd still tread lightly with her

Speaking of religious neighbors, I stopped at the store up the street from my apartment one day and saw one of my neighbors in the parking lot with her car hood up. I asked her if she needed a ride home and she said "no thank you". She had never seen me before but I had seen her in our parking lot. Another evening when I got home from work, she recognized me as the man at the store and wanted to thank me so much for offering her a ride. She was originally from up North and couldn't believe that a white man in the South offerred her some help without wanting to do her some harm. She was so thankful that I even asked even though she was scared to accept my offer when she saw me previously.

Anyway, we became good friends after that and she told me the name of a good bankruptcy lawyer and helped me out a lot with that. She also looked out for me everytime she went to the grocery store buying me items such as chicken that she found on sale, etc. I did the same for her too.

She did however, show up at my door one day with "Awake" and "Watchtower" magazines. I thought to myself...."Oh Lord, what the hell have I gotten myself into"..... She even got me a bible and invited me to go to the Kingdom Hall with her sometime, which I nicefully declined. She would come over and ask to use my phone sometimes. She had a cell phone that she paid for prepaid minutes on so I had no problem with her using my home phone. Afterwards, we might sit around and talk for a long time about some of everything and I would ask her questions about her religion. I did tell her that I do believe in God but I don't consider myself of any particular demonination and didn't want to be a part of one because with so many different religions believing different things, who's to say who's right and who's wrong. I also told her that the main thing I didn't like about Jehovah's Witnesses is that they went door to door which sends a message that they think they are right and everyone else is wrong. She then told me that they were required to do that. After that, a lot of the times she would just simply leave them on my doorstep while I was at work. It's like it was a "chore" to her I guess since I respectfully told her why I didn't like it, but yet as part of her religion she still "had" to do it but still didn't want to offend me. I cut her a little slack though because I liked her. The others would have gotten cussed out.

But who would have ever thought a whore and a Jehovah's Witness could get along together? Honey, I bet that's one for the National Enquirer right there. I did want to do something nice for her though since she always looked out for me at the grocery store. I thought about buying her a gift but what do you buy a Jehovah's Witness? Hell, they don't like to have any fun whatsover. Then, I remembered that she loved Ritz Crackers and was always complaining that they were so expensive these days. I bought her a box of Ritz Crackers. I know it was a small thing but it was the only thing I could think of. I came home from work one day and she was sitting on her porch in front of her apartment reading her bible. I gave her the Ritz Crackers and you would have thought I had given her a diamond ring. She was just happy as she could be. I looked outside later on and she's still out there reading her bible, grinning from ear to ear, eating Ritz crackers. Boy howdy, talk about an exciting Friday night.

.

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[Edited 11/9/12 13:48pm]

vainandy said:

Ottensen said:

Chile please. If you lived by me you woulda been in my house- with me trying to drag you to church, and you constantly filling up my Tupperware cup with Grapefruit Screwdrivers on my way to women's bible study---and likely a lot of baked goods in between the shenanigans

With me though, it's different than a lot of the folks here, I guess---I 've always had really social relationships with my neighbors where we had activities together: dinners, parties, watching games, concerts, ect. My very next door here neighbor has a key exchange with us, so we can let each other in in case we get locked out, and we also take care of each other's plants when we each go out of town. Mind you, I wouldn't try that in the States But it does kind of put me in a head space where I see neighbors more as a nice little village support system than anything else. Still, paintedlady's neighbor sounds just a teensy weensy bit off, though. I think I'd still tread lightly with her

Speaking of religious neighbors, I stopped at the store up the street from my apartment one day and saw one of my neighbors in the parking lot with her car hood up. I asked her if she needed a ride home and she said "no thank you". She had never seen me before but I had seen her in our parking lot. Another evening when I got home from work, she recognized me as the man at the store and wanted to thank me so much for offering her a ride. She was originally from up North and couldn't believe that a white man in the South offerred her some help without wanting to do her some harm. She was so thankful that I even asked even though she was scared to accept my offer when she saw me previously.

Anyway, we became good friends after that and she told me the name of a good bankruptcy lawyer and helped me out a lot with that. She also looked out for me everytime she went to the grocery store buying me items such as chicken that she found on sale, etc. I did the same for her too.

She did however, show up at my door one day with "Awake" and "Watchtower" magazines. I thought to myself...."Oh Lord, what the hell have I gotten myself into"..... She even got me a bible and invited me to go to the Kingdom Hall with her sometime, which I nicefully declined. She would come over and ask to use my phone sometimes. She had a cell phone that she paid for prepaid minutes on so I had no problem with her using my home phone. Afterwards, we might sit around and talk for a long time about some of everything and I would ask her questions about her religion. I did tell her that I do believe in God but I don't consider myself of any particular demonination and didn't want to be a part of one because with so many different religions believing different things, who's to say who's right and who's wrong. I also told her that the main thing I didn't like about Jehovah's Witnesses is that they went door to door which sends a message that they think they are right and everyone else is wrong. She then told me that they were required to do that. After that, a lot of the times she would just simply leave them on my doorstep while I was at work. It's like it was a "chore" to her I guess since I respectfully told her why I didn't like it, but yet as part of her religion she still "had" to do it but still didn't want to offend me. I cut her a little slack though because I liked her. The others would have gotten cussed out.

But who would have ever thought a whore and a Jehovah's Witness could get along together? Honey, I bet that's one for the National Enquirer right there. I did want to do something nice for her though since she always looked out for me at the grocery store. I thought about buying her a gift but what do you buy a Jehovah's Witness? Hell, they don't like to have any fun whatsover. Then, I remembered that she loved Ritz Crackers and was always complaining that they were so expensive these days. I bought her a box of Ritz Crackers. I know it was a small thing but it was the only thing I could think of. I came home from work one day and she was sitting on her porch in front of her apartment reading her bible. I gave her the Ritz Crackers and you would have thought I had given her a diamond ring. She was just happy as she could be. I looked outside later on and she's still out there reading her bible, grinning from ear to ear, eating Ritz crackers. Boy howdy, talk about an exciting Friday night.

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[Edited 11/9/12 13:48pm]

What a sweet story I wish I was your neighbor

lauralevesque said:

vainandy said:

Speaking of religious neighbors, I stopped at the store up the street from my apartment one day and saw one of my neighbors in the parking lot with her car hood up. I asked her if she needed a ride home and she said "no thank you". She had never seen me before but I had seen her in our parking lot. Another evening when I got home from work, she recognized me as the man at the store and wanted to thank me so much for offering her a ride. She was originally from up North and couldn't believe that a white man in the South offerred her some help without wanting to do her some harm. She was so thankful that I even asked even though she was scared to accept my offer when she saw me previously.

Anyway, we became good friends after that and she told me the name of a good bankruptcy lawyer and helped me out a lot with that. She also looked out for me everytime she went to the grocery store buying me items such as chicken that she found on sale, etc. I did the same for her too.

She did however, show up at my door one day with "Awake" and "Watchtower" magazines. I thought to myself...."Oh Lord, what the hell have I gotten myself into"..... She even got me a bible and invited me to go to the Kingdom Hall with her sometime, which I nicefully declined. She would come over and ask to use my phone sometimes. She had a cell phone that she paid for prepaid minutes on so I had no problem with her using my home phone. Afterwards, we might sit around and talk for a long time about some of everything and I would ask her questions about her religion. I did tell her that I do believe in God but I don't consider myself of any particular demonination and didn't want to be a part of one because with so many different religions believing different things, who's to say who's right and who's wrong. I also told her that the main thing I didn't like about Jehovah's Witnesses is that they went door to door which sends a message that they think they are right and everyone else is wrong. She then told me that they were required to do that. After that, a lot of the times she would just simply leave them on my doorstep while I was at work. It's like it was a "chore" to her I guess since I respectfully told her why I didn't like it, but yet as part of her religion she still "had" to do it but still didn't want to offend me. I cut her a little slack though because I liked her. The others would have gotten cussed out.

But who would have ever thought a whore and a Jehovah's Witness could get along together? Honey, I bet that's one for the National Enquirer right there. I did want to do something nice for her though since she always looked out for me at the grocery store. I thought about buying her a gift but what do you buy a Jehovah's Witness? Hell, they don't like to have any fun whatsover. Then, I remembered that she loved Ritz Crackers and was always complaining that they were so expensive these days. I bought her a box of Ritz Crackers. I know it was a small thing but it was the only thing I could think of. I came home from work one day and she was sitting on her porch in front of her apartment reading her bible. I gave her the Ritz Crackers and you would have thought I had given her a diamond ring. She was just happy as she could be. I looked outside later on and she's still out there reading her bible, grinning from ear to ear, eating Ritz crackers. Boy howdy, talk about an exciting Friday night.

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.

.

[Edited 11/9/12 13:48pm]

What a sweet story I wish I was your neighbor

I'm really a big ole Teddy Bear but don't tell nobody or I'll have to whoop your ass.

vainandy said:

lauralevesque said:

What a sweet story I wish I was your neighbor

I'm really a big ole Teddy Bear but don't tell nobody or I'll have to whoop your ass.

I love you- here's some cake

too soon?

haha

paintedlady said:

morningsong said:

I don't find it odd for her to bake things for her new neighbors, some folks are like that. Nor the fact that she hasn't full unpacked, or is even messy. But the fact she's giving away baked goods almost everyday, which can't be cheap on a mother of 2 small children, she either feels the need to buy people's friendship or she's trying to start a baking business and wants to drum up customers. Coupled with the fact that she feels no shame in letting strangers see her complete disorganization, shows that while she's desparate for friends she doesn't know how to make other people feel comfortable in her space. That's an odd combination, and a bad sign some major issues are going to show up soon.

Now, Bobgeorge is right and it is speculation...

but I live in the northeast where the folks aren't too friendly. People do NOT say "hi" to each other when they pass one another. You have to know someone and see them daily before they warm up

to you to speak back if you speak to them.

Weirdly enough, if I lived in the south of the USA where folks are friendly and say Hello to one another, she would not seem so out of place.

This young lady is in her mid-to-late twenties and is Latino like myself. She is American, speaks perfect English and Morning song makes a great point, baking cakes (heart-shaped ) is expensive and I would rather her put her efforts into her home, unpacking, and playing with her children rather than baking stuff and giving it to people.

She didn't come by last night, I will return her plate to her tonight and thank her and ask her not to bake any more food for me again. I will extend an invitation in the spring-time for her daughter and herself to join me in the garden if they wish. The nutrition class starts up soon so I will tell her about the class, she can meet other neighbors there ... and there is a group of my neighbors who walk the beach in a group for exercise, I will give her the flyers for the groups. She will be

That community garden is the main way the neighbors socialize with one another.. the ones who can not garden, usually set up a grill and BBQ and share drinks and others play music.

I hope she takes up the offer, because that way its an even exchange and the entire community benefits from it.... even the fat greedy rats and squirrels.

That sounds like a wonderful idea to invite her to participate in the community garden come spring and a nutrition class now. That way if she just needs to interact with other people then there is an opportunity and she doesn't get isolated and at the same time you and your family don't get snared in some possible craziness later on. She can learn some useful life skills at the same time and/or make way for a little side business with her baking.

morningsong said:

I don't find it odd for her to bake things for her new neighbors, some folks are like that. Nor the fact that she hasn't full unpacked, or is even messy. But the fact she's giving away baked goods almost everyday, which can't be cheap on a mother of 2 small children, she either feels the need to buy people's friendship or she's trying to start a baking business and wants to drum up customers. Coupled with the fact that she feels no shame in letting strangers see her complete disorganization, shows that while she's desparate for friends she doesn't know how to make other people feel comfortable in her space. That's an odd combination, and a bad sign some major issues are going to show up soon.

This is about how I see it as well.