Genesia said:

alphastreet said:

There's many people who aren't into the holidays either due to personal issues and though we should be caring all year around instead of just around this time of the year, it's important to think about that too and how we can give back if we are in a position to do so.

I stuff money in every red kettle I pass, I've done the holiday food drive at work, and I'm also participating in our "adopt a family" program. It ain't helping.

I understand the psychology of my seasonal disconnect this year ...

My Mom WAS christmas ~ Santa in the flesh ... an amazing holiday decorator and embracer of the true holiday spirit

So it being the 1st X-mas season without her in my life is a bit tough

I'm doing the best I can and that's all I can do ... I have to allow myself to grieve her loss while also celebrating her life

so ...yeah

PurpleJedi said:

MacDaddy said:

I wasn't talking about the velvet cap

Fake suede sofa?

Well only if it doens't stain after I'm done with little blixen there.

jone70 said:

jone70 a.k.a. "the Grinch"

I despise the holidays, starting with Thanksgiving all the way through St. Patrick's Day (xmas, New Year's, V-day, etc. Actually I don't mind MLKing day...) Anyway, yeah, I hate xmas. I used to travel with the rest of the hoards of people (minimum 8 hours door to door to see my fam) and it was so stressful. Then once I got there, my mother would have already planned 5 days of f*cking xmas...(e.g. a different relative's house every night/day). I hated it. I really don't have much in common with my extended family and it was exhausting when all I wanted to do was try to relax and sleep!

A couple of years ago I put my foot down and told her I wasn't doing it anymore. Aside from my parents, no one in my family has ever been to NYC to visit me (I've lived here 8+ years) so why should I always be the one going through the hassle and expense? Not to mention traveling to the midwest during December is an added level of hassle - one snowstorm along the way and you're trapped! I've never put up a tree (my apartment is too small for starters) or any decorations. I make a list of what I need for gifts, then go directly to where I can get it, hopefully at a location that is not midtown or SoHo as I cannot stand the crowds of tourists in those areas! (I took 12/16 off of work, whatever isn't purchased by then will be bought and everything will be shipped on 12/17.) My secret is to ignore xmas/pretend it doesn't exist; I find it's much easier and less stressful that way!

Now I have an SO whose family is from NYC area so we have to go there, but honestly, I would love nothing more than to stay home on Christmas, or go out to brunch with friends who are also not visiting their families.

I can totally understand all this.

Every year, I'm the only one of my siblings who flies back to visit my mom for Christmas (one brother still lives in town, though, so he and his family are there). Usually, I fly into the one almost-major airport nearby, which is an hour away. Some cousin I have nothing in common with is dispatched to pick me up, and we spend an hour in the car where I miserably try to make small talk and really just want to blow my head off instead of talking about the weather for one more minute. This year, I spent an extra $200 to fly directly into the teeny-tiny Iowa airport in the same town as my mom JUST to avoid all that. I thought it was money well spend for a small part of my sanity during the holidays.

Problems escalate around this time of year too for many.

last year i wasn't very happy at christmas because my life was a mess with many things. but this year i am happier and back in the christmas groove.

jone70 said:

jone70 a.k.a. "the Grinch"

I despise the holidays, starting with Thanksgiving all the way through St. Patrick's Day (xmas, New Year's, V-day, etc. Actually I don't mind MLKing day...) Anyway, yeah, I hate xmas. I used to travel with the rest of the hoards of people (minimum 8 hours door to door to see my fam) and it was so stressful. Then once I got there, my mother would have already planned 5 days of f*cking xmas...(e.g. a different relative's house every night/day). I hated it. I really don't have much in common with my extended family and it was exhausting when all I wanted to do was try to relax and sleep!

A couple of years ago I put my foot down and told her I wasn't doing it anymore. Aside from my parents, no one in my family has ever been to NYC to visit me (I've lived here 8+ years) so why should I always be the one going through the hassle and expense? Not to mention traveling to the midwest during December is an added level of hassle - one snowstorm along the way and you're trapped! I've never put up a tree (my apartment is too small for starters) or any decorations. I make a list of what I need for gifts, then go directly to where I can get it, hopefully at a location that is not midtown or SoHo as I cannot stand the crowds of tourists in those areas! (I took 12/16 off of work, whatever isn't purchased by then will be bought and everything will be shipped on 12/17.) My secret is to ignore xmas/pretend it doesn't exist; I find it's much easier and less stressful that way!

Now I have an SO whose family is from NYC area so we have to go there, but honestly, I would love nothing more than to stay home on Christmas, or go out to brunch with friends who are also not visiting their families.

Oddly enough, it was my parents who made the same sort of decision years ago.

They moved to Arizona from Wisconsin - but came back at Christmas for many years. After awhile, they got tired of bucking the holiday traffic back to dark, cold winter from their nice, warm, sunny climate. The fact that my two married sisters always procrastinated about who was going to have Christmas was also a huge source of stress for my control freak of a mother. (My condo is too small to have the whole clan and our other sister lives in California and is a flight attendant - so about 7 times out of 10, she's working on Christmas.)

I flew out there for Christmas five or six years ago. My flight to Chicago was cancelled due to fog, so they bused us to O'Hare. But I missed my flight to Tucson, so they re-routed me through Memphis and Dallas. I very nearly missed connections in those cities, too.

So now, we all stay put. My Cali sister sometimes hops a flight to AZ (easy for her to go direct from LAX). And my Madison sister and I are going to the Milwaukee sister's this year. It ain't what it used to be, but it's a lot less stressful for all concerned.

Machaela said:

I understand the psychology of my seasonal disconnect this year ...

My Mom WAS christmas ~ Santa in the flesh ... an amazing holiday decorator and embracer of the true holiday spirit

So it being the 1st X-mas season without her in my life is a bit tough

I'm doing the best I can and that's all I can do ... I have to allow myself to grieve her loss while also celebrating her life

so ...yeah

The ONE person every year that I made SURE to assemble a nice Christmas card & pictures "package" was my grandma.

With her gone this year, I have no true incentive to go thru all that hassle.

MacDaddy said:

PurpleJedi said:

Fake suede sofa?

Well only if it doens't stain after I'm done with little blixen there.

That sounds...violent.

Efan said:

jone70 said:

jone70 a.k.a. "the Grinch"

I despise the holidays, starting with Thanksgiving all the way through St. Patrick's Day (xmas, New Year's, V-day, etc. Actually I don't mind MLKing day...) Anyway, yeah, I hate xmas. I used to travel with the rest of the hoards of people (minimum 8 hours door to door to see my fam) and it was so stressful. Then once I got there, my mother would have already planned 5 days of f*cking xmas...(e.g. a different relative's house every night/day). I hated it. I really don't have much in common with my extended family and it was exhausting when all I wanted to do was try to relax and sleep!

A couple of years ago I put my foot down and told her I wasn't doing it anymore. Aside from my parents, no one in my family has ever been to NYC to visit me (I've lived here 8+ years) so why should I always be the one going through the hassle and expense? Not to mention traveling to the midwest during December is an added level of hassle - one snowstorm along the way and you're trapped! I've never put up a tree (my apartment is too small for starters) or any decorations. I make a list of what I need for gifts, then go directly to where I can get it, hopefully at a location that is not midtown or SoHo as I cannot stand the crowds of tourists in those areas! (I took 12/16 off of work, whatever isn't purchased by then will be bought and everything will be shipped on 12/17.) My secret is to ignore xmas/pretend it doesn't exist; I find it's much easier and less stressful that way!

Now I have an SO whose family is from NYC area so we have to go there, but honestly, I would love nothing more than to stay home on Christmas, or go out to brunch with friends who are also not visiting their families.

I can totally understand all this.

Every year, I'm the only one of my siblings who flies back to visit my mom for Christmas (one brother still lives in town, though, so he and his family are there). Usually, I fly into the one almost-major airport nearby, which is an hour away. Some cousin I have nothing in common with is dispatched to pick me up, and we spend an hour in the car where I miserably try to make small talk and really just want to blow my head off instead of talking about the weather for one more minute. This year, I spent an extra $200 to fly directly into the teeny-tiny Iowa airport in the same town as my mom JUST to avoid all that. I thought it was money well spend for a small part of my sanity during the holidays.

I just pictured your flight being cancelled and taking a ride from the Polka King of the midwest, like in "Home Alone"...

alphastreet said:

Problems escalate around this time of year too for many.

Especially those getting pepper-sprayed, mugged & shot on line for their Christmas gifts.

kimrachell said:

last year i wasn't very happy at christmas because my life was a mess with many things. but this year i am happier and back in the christmas groove.

Come back when you have car troubles or something, ok?

PurpleJedi said:

Efan said:

I can totally understand all this.

Every year, I'm the only one of my siblings who flies back to visit my mom for Christmas (one brother still lives in town, though, so he and his family are there). Usually, I fly into the one almost-major airport nearby, which is an hour away. Some cousin I have nothing in common with is dispatched to pick me up, and we spend an hour in the car where I miserably try to make small talk and really just want to blow my head off instead of talking about the weather for one more minute. This year, I spent an extra $200 to fly directly into the teeny-tiny Iowa airport in the same town as my mom JUST to avoid all that. I thought it was money well spend for a small part of my sanity during the holidays.

I just pictured your flight being cancelled and taking a ride from the Polka King of the midwest, like in "Home Alone"...

I think I'm the only person in the world who has never seen Home Alone.

Genesia said:

jone70 said:

jone70 a.k.a. "the Grinch"

I despise the holidays, starting with Thanksgiving all the way through St. Patrick's Day (xmas, New Year's, V-day, etc. Actually I don't mind MLKing day...) Anyway, yeah, I hate xmas. I used to travel with the rest of the hoards of people (minimum 8 hours door to door to see my fam) and it was so stressful. Then once I got there, my mother would have already planned 5 days of f*cking xmas...(e.g. a different relative's house every night/day). I hated it. I really don't have much in common with my extended family and it was exhausting when all I wanted to do was try to relax and sleep!

A couple of years ago I put my foot down and told her I wasn't doing it anymore. Aside from my parents, no one in my family has ever been to NYC to visit me (I've lived here 8+ years) so why should I always be the one going through the hassle and expense? Not to mention traveling to the midwest during December is an added level of hassle - one snowstorm along the way and you're trapped! I've never put up a tree (my apartment is too small for starters) or any decorations. I make a list of what I need for gifts, then go directly to where I can get it, hopefully at a location that is not midtown or SoHo as I cannot stand the crowds of tourists in those areas! (I took 12/16 off of work, whatever isn't purchased by then will be bought and everything will be shipped on 12/17.) My secret is to ignore xmas/pretend it doesn't exist; I find it's much easier and less stressful that way!

Now I have an SO whose family is from NYC area so we have to go there, but honestly, I would love nothing more than to stay home on Christmas, or go out to brunch with friends who are also not visiting their families.

Oddly enough, it was my parents who made the same sort of decision years ago.

They moved to Arizona from Wisconsin - but came back at Christmas for many years. After awhile, they got tired of bucking the holiday traffic back to dark, cold winter from their nice, warm, sunny climate. The fact that my two married sisters always procrastinated about who was going to have Christmas was also a huge source of stress for my control freak of a mother. (My condo is too small to have the whole clan and our other sister lives in California and is a flight attendant - so about 7 times out of 10, she's working on Christmas.)

I flew out there for Christmas five or six years ago. My flight to Chicago was cancelled due to fog, so they bused us to O'Hare. But I missed my flight to Tucson, so they re-routed me through Memphis and Dallas. I very nearly missed connections in those cities, too.

So now, we all stay put. My Cali sister sometimes hops a flight to AZ (easy for her to go direct from LAX). And my Madison sister and I are going to the Milwaukee sister's this year. It ain't what it used to be, but it's a lot less stressful for all concerned.

My folks are considering Arizona or the Carolinas to spend their Golden Years...the only thing holding them back is the clan of grandkids here in NY.

But I too wonder what the holidays would turn into if & when they actually move away.

PurpleJedi said:

I can see how you're miffed that no one's come to visit you. Wassupwitdat?

They all have kids, it's too expensive, blah blah blah. To be fair, my grandmother is probably not in good enough health to fly (let alone walk up 4 flights of stairs to my apartment), but I lived in Chicago for 6 years and the same thing. (It was an 8 hour drive from my hometown to Chicago, so flying was not the only option.) My brother & sis-in-law visited me there - but always with my parents, never just the two of them, and it was before they had kids. To be honest, my SIL is not the most adventurous and would hate NYC and complain the entire time so it's easier to not have to deal with that. My brother would be alright, though. I'm trying to talk him into coming out with my mom sometime (since my dad also hates NYC).

Efan said:

I can totally understand all this.

Every year, I'm the only one of my siblings who flies back to visit my mom for Christmas (one brother still lives in town, though, so he and his family are there). Usually, I fly into the one almost-major airport nearby, which is an hour away. Some cousin I have nothing in common with is dispatched to pick me up, and we spend an hour in the car where I miserably try to make small talk and really just want to blow my head off instead of talking about the weather for one more minute. This year, I spent an extra $200 to fly directly into the teeny-tiny Iowa airport in the same town as my mom JUST to avoid all that. I thought it was money well spend for a small part of my sanity during the holidays.

Exactly. At least your closest "almost-major airport" is only an hour away! Omaha is mine, and that's still a 2 hour drive. I've tried to fly into the nearest airport, which is a "quick" 45 minutes (ha), but it's so tiny that they have 1 runway, only 2-3 flights per day, and will cancel flights at the drop of a hat. There are no direct flights from NYC to the tiny airport, so you have to go through Minneapolis (I always look for Prince at the airport ), but if the weather is the slightest bit sketchy the flight will be canceled. Last time I went in October and ended up having my flight canceled, having to fly into Omaha anyway, and my luggage did not make it.

At least my parents always come pick me up so I don't have to chat with my cousins! But, yeah, you get your fill of weather and football conversations.

PurpleJedi said:

kimrachell said:

last year i wasn't very happy at christmas because my life was a mess with many things. but this year i am happier and back in the christmas groove.

Come back when you have car troubles or something, ok?

just had those, had to replace all 3 tires on our car (replaced the 4th one a few months ago).....and we live just pay check to pay check, and my husband is going through a nightmare with his job. i have my depressed moments. but i think the reason why i am so into x-mas this year is because i need some happiness. so i'm trying to focus on the positive.

[Edited 12/7/11 9:07am]

PurpleJedi said:

Genesia said:

Oddly enough, it was my parents who made the same sort of decision years ago.

They moved to Arizona from Wisconsin - but came back at Christmas for many years. After awhile, they got tired of bucking the holiday traffic back to dark, cold winter from their nice, warm, sunny climate. The fact that my two married sisters always procrastinated about who was going to have Christmas was also a huge source of stress for my control freak of a mother. (My condo is too small to have the whole clan and our other sister lives in California and is a flight attendant - so about 7 times out of 10, she's working on Christmas.)

I flew out there for Christmas five or six years ago. My flight to Chicago was cancelled due to fog, so they bused us to O'Hare. But I missed my flight to Tucson, so they re-routed me through Memphis and Dallas. I very nearly missed connections in those cities, too.

So now, we all stay put. My Cali sister sometimes hops a flight to AZ (easy for her to go direct from LAX). And my Madison sister and I are going to the Milwaukee sister's this year. It ain't what it used to be, but it's a lot less stressful for all concerned.

My folks are considering Arizona or the Carolinas to spend their Golden Years...the only thing holding them back is the clan of grandkids here in NY.

But I too wonder what the holidays would turn into if & when they actually move away.

You'd be surprised. It's actually okay. Not the same, of course. But okay in its own way.

There's a lot to be said for not having it be such a production.

You mean OFFICIAL 'Scrooge' thread...

Genesia said:

Oddly enough, it was my parents who made the same sort of decision years ago.

They moved to Arizona from Wisconsin - but came back at Christmas for many years. After awhile, they got tired of bucking the holiday traffic back to dark, cold winter from their nice, warm, sunny climate. The fact that my two married sisters always procrastinated about who was going to have Christmas was also a huge source of stress for my control freak of a mother. (My condo is too small to have the whole clan and our other sister lives in California and is a flight attendant - so about 7 times out of 10, she's working on Christmas.)

I flew out there for Christmas five or six years ago. My flight to Chicago was cancelled due to fog, so they bused us to O'Hare. But I missed my flight to Tucson, so they re-routed me through Memphis and Dallas. I very nearly missed connections in those cities, too.

So now, we all stay put. My Cali sister sometimes hops a flight to AZ (easy for her to go direct from LAX). And my Madison sister and I are going to the Milwaukee sister's this year. It ain't what it used to be, but it's a lot less stressful for all concerned.

We always went to my maternal grandparents' house for Christmas Eve and my paternal grandparents for Christmas. Up until a couple of years ago, I still had 3 grandparents; no I am down to just my mom's mom. My mom told me that she is hosting Christmas Eve this year for her brothers and their kids (my cousins) and grandkids. Honestly, I am SO glad I am not going to be there. I'm actually a bit worried that my cousins are going to steal stuff from my parents house. (When I was in high school they came over to our house for a day and one of my cousins stole a bunch of stuff from me.) Every time I went back and saw them at my grandparents, they would show me some offensive/racist video on their phone or tell some horribly homophobic joke, etc. It was so uncomforable for me. It wasn't so bad before my brother was married; we'd sort of stick to ourselves but once he got married and had kids I was on my own...

I never really have any. Too commercialized. Too many people asking me for shit. Too fake with people acting nice for one short period a year. People acting like animals to fill their homes with more "stuff". I cannot wait for it to be over.

I will say though, that the little things like our Secret Santa here on the org, makes me not hate the holidays as much.

I really do not like the holiday season much to begin with... I mean, family time is nice and all, but that other stuff (materialism, crowds, excess, cold weather, non-stop christmas themed stuff shoved down your throat...) really makes me dislike this time of year.

Machaela said:

I understand the psychology of my seasonal disconnect this year ...

My Mom WAS christmas ~ Santa in the flesh ... an amazing holiday decorator and embracer of the true holiday spirit

So it being the 1st X-mas season without her in my life is a bit tough

I'm doing the best I can and that's all I can do ... I have to allow myself to grieve her loss while also celebrating her life

so ...yeah

BEAR HUGS

Vendetta1 said:

I never really have any. Too commercialized. Too many people asking me for shit. Too fake with people acting nice for one short period a year. People acting like animals to fill their homes with more "stuff". I cannot wait for it to be over.

I will say though, that the little things like our Secret Santa here on the org, makes me not hate the holidays as much.

i'm looking forward to seeing my family in portland. for me, it's not about the 'holidays', as they are commercially promoted, it's just a time of year for me to go see some folks i love. i could skip 'christmas' entirely, and still love this season just because i get to hang with my peeps.

TheFreakerFantastic said:

You mean OFFICIAL 'Scrooge' thread...

Scrooge would imply Christmas only.

I want to ecompass all races & creeds.

Hanukkah, Kwanza, Festivus...I want to include my disdain for it ALL!!!

I'm not a fan of Christmas either. It has no religious meaning to me and I have a ton of gifts to buy, so I usually end up spending a lot more money than I really want.

We haven't put up a tree in 20 years and for the past 3-4 years haven't done any decorations either. This is the first Christmas without my mom, so it will be hard, but I'm trying to keep it together for my Dad's sake. Frankly, I can't wait for it to be over as I'm looking forward to my vacation in February more than anything.

I'm a grinch . My mother just asked me this week if I was going to put up Christmas decorations in my home

PurpleJedi said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

You mean OFFICIAL 'Scrooge' thread...

Scrooge would imply Christmas only.

I want to ecompass all races & creeds.

Hanukkah, Kwanza, Festivus...I want to include my disdain for it ALL!!!

Miserable bastards!

Get the tree and decorations up and celebrate a holy man..

TheFreakerFantastic said:

PurpleJedi said:

Scrooge would imply Christmas only.

I want to ecompass all races & creeds.

Hanukkah, Kwanza, Festivus...I want to include my disdain for it ALL!!!

Miserable bastards!

Get the tree and decorations up and celebrate a holy man..

I can't rmember the last time Xmas was about a holy man.

^ We have to make it about him then. Allow feelings of love and compassion to guide you....this will benefit others too...