You're no different than anyone else. You like what you like and that's all there is to it. I never gave a damn about sports, rafting, mountain climbing, racing, or any type of activities like that. When people tell me...."You should get a hobby"....they always say some type of sport, or some type of card game, or some sort of competition as things to look into. Those things bore me and always will. Everything I have ever given a damn about is nightlife related and it has either been funk, disco, or house music related and since clubs are all as dull as a Lawrence Welk concert these days, my nightlife days are over. Then they suggest things like jazz clubs and things like that. Jazz clubs bore me so why the hell would I go to something that bores me. I've seen people go to outdoor festivals full of musical acts that they could care less about simply to say they are "getting out of the house". If a group isn't playing that I like, I'm not going because I'm going to be bored and why throw away money to be bored?

I'm just a shit talking, hard partying, fun loving person but my life these days is as boring as a straight person's. I just look at it this way, I'm not the one that's not interesting. The world around me became less interesting. I'm still the same person I've always been and would be all out there partying like I used to be. The world around me just became more tame and conservative. And it's kinda hard to party at home like we used to when the world first became dull when most of your friends have either moved away or died of AIDS. Thank God for the internet though because you can find a few people that have some of the same interests as you. Unfortunately, they are spread out all over the world though and you can't get together in person.

i dunno. probably not, but i sure entertain me.

PurpleJedi said:

davetherave6767 said:

Im a very interesting person but ultimately im just dust!!! Gen 3:19

Dave...I think that with you, "interesting" is an understatement!

Why thanku Mr Jedi.

I used to be interesting.....

PurpleJedi said:

davetherave6767 said:

Im a very interesting person but ultimately im just dust!!! Gen 3:19

Dave...I think that with you, "interesting" is an understatement!

Why thanku Mr Jedi.

This has amazed me!!!Any woman in her right mind would love a man like u!!!U work & u put ur wife & kids 1st!!!Shes calling u boring?Eye dont want 2b alarmist but if ur wife is calling u boring then thats the start of a slippery path!!!Thats very personal & isnt nice & by saying that 2u was indeed very disrespectful!!!She was out 4 a fight and or argument & wanted 2 hurt u!!!Question is why???A word of warning man 2 man eye had a great relationship with my son would of died 4 him but after my split & subsequent divorce in court my x-wife said eye was a hopeless dad & lied thru her teeth re: my relationship with my son!!Its amazing how a woman changes when in a court room fighting 4 half of everything!!!!!!!!!U dont even recognize her!?.Eye realy wish u well & u r in my thoughts.

I agree he attracts creative and openminded people. I know I'm not the best, but music and writing are part of my hobbies, and I've always been a bit of an introvert and quiet oddball

Some ladies love me

Some ladies don't

Some guys follow me

Other guys don't

Some evil people hate me

Many good people don't

alphastreet said:

I agree he attracts creative and openminded people. I know I'm not the best, but music and writing are part of my hobbies, and I've always been a bit of an introvert and quiet oddball

Good 4u & dont u go f**king changing 4 nobody!!!!!

JoeTyler said:

Some ladies love me

Some ladies don't

Some guys follow me

Other guys don't

Some evil people hate me

Many good people don't

that just made me think of this song:

Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession
Love me or hate me, that is the question
If you love me then, thank you!
If you hate me then, **** you!

ZombieKitten said:

JoeTyler said:

Some ladies love me

Some ladies don't

Some guys follow me

Other guys don't

Some evil people hate me

Many good people don't

that just made me think of this song:

Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession
Love me or hate me, that is the question
If you love me then, thank you!
If you hate me then, **** you!

who wrote that? I dig those lyrics

JoeTyler said:

ZombieKitten said:

that just made me think of this song:

Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession
Love me or hate me, that is the question
If you love me then, thank you!
If you hate me then, **** you!

who wrote that? I dig those lyrics

lets guess.....i say kid rock.

PurpleJedi said:

babynoz said:

Okay, wifey is kinda pissin' me off here because it sounds like she's trying to deflect attention from her wrongdoing by dumping on you. In other words, she wants to feel justified in what she did because you're not 'Mr. Excitement"? It's bs and the way she said it by calling you pathetic is emotionally abusive.

It also makes my blood boil because there's so many ladies out here who are sick at heart because of fathers who don't give a damn about their kids.

Judging by the many interesting threads and comments you post here I wouldn't call you boring at all. Granted, wifey knows you better than I, but even if you had the personality of shoe leather, that still doesn't make it okay for her to trash you in order to ease her guilt.

None of us are perfect...so what? People who always think the grass is greener somewhere else never realize that it's probably because they seldom take time to water their own damn grass.

Movng on, if you think there's some validity to what she says then a good place to start would be looking at the things that interested you when you were young and carefree. Just about everyone has some special interest or talent that they maybe forgot about when they settled down. What kinds of things were you drawn to before?

Besides Prince...I like art, movies, and food. Oh, and writing...but I can never finish anything that I start. I have about 5 or 6 stories that never got past the first few chapters.

In fact, I've dug up some of those papers and have started to write again (one in particular I think I can rewrite to fit what I'm dealing with now).

I suppose that if I actually do become a published author some day, there'll be NO DOUBT as to my level of awesomeness!!!

Well there ya go...getting back into your writing is something worth exploring and your experiences since you last wrote will inform your writer's voice now. They have writer's groups on all levels from novice to pro...you could look into joining one. Getting back into my writing has helped me tremendously. Maybe we'll both get published!

2elijah said:

babynoz said:

Okay, wifey is kinda pissin' me off here because it sounds like she's trying to deflect attention from her wrongdoing by dumping on you. In other words, she wants to feel justified in what she did because you're not 'Mr. Excitement"? It's bs and the way she said it by calling you pathetic is emotionally abusive.

It also makes my blood boil because there's so many ladies out here who are sick at heart because of fathers who don't give a damn about their kids.

Judging by the many interesting threads and comments you post here I wouldn't call you boring at all. Granted, wifey knows you better than I, but even if you had the personality of shoe leather, that still doesn't make it okay for her to trash you in order to ease her guilt.

None of us are perfect...so what? People who always think the grass is greener somewhere else never realize that it's probably because they seldom take time to water their own damn grass.

Movng on, if you think there's some validity to what she says then a good place to start would be looking at the things that interested you when you were young and carefree. Just about everyone has some special interest or talent that they maybe forgot about when they settled down. What kinds of things were you drawn to before?

I agree with Babynoz. It does seem like your wife is telling you these things to justify her actions. You seem like a loving caring parent, and it's too bad she doesn't appreciate that.

I believe all people are interesting in their own unique way, but sometimes surround themselves with people who just don't have the same interests, which doesn't make one boring because of that. If you're comfortable with the things you like, then make the best of it for yourself. True happiness can be found within, because others can't find it for you or be that for you. Once you're secure, confident with who you are as a human being and your interests/talents/gifts, then no one else can take that away from you unless you allow them to.

It seems, you're going through a time period right now where you are searching your soul and there's nothing wrong with that. I guarantee in the end, you will surprise yourself. About your writing, and not completing some of it, well that happens to a lot of people who have an interest in writing, and go through "dry spells" but eventually you'll find yourself returning to complete some of if not all.

You come across as a person with a calm demeanor and a lot of patience, which in and of itself are good qualities. I think you'd do good starting a blog of your own, because from your postings, you seem to post threads of interest that promote discussion.

Best of luck to you during this time in your life, and never allow anyone to degrade/belittle or define you, to the point you have to question your own validity or existence. Peace.

[Edited 6/9/11 8:25am]

Bingo!

davetherave6767 said:

ZombieKitten said:

davetherave6767 said:

lets guess.....i say kid rock.

Lady Sovereign, the song is pretty funny

yeh that little cheeky gal who was on big brother!whats that song she did the video is set around a photo booth???

davetherave6767 said:

alphastreet said:

I agree he attracts creative and openminded people. I know I'm not the best, but music and writing are part of my hobbies, and I've always been a bit of an introvert and quiet oddball

Good 4u & dont u go f**king changing 4 nobody!!!!!

Being different is stressful and I'm in the process of figuring out my identity all over again after too much shit happening.

alphastreet said:

Interesting point, I agree with her, but no disrespect. I have an aunt that is only with my uncle and kids a lot and they do EVERYTHING together. I think they should vacation on their own to have a break, especially cause they had no honeymoon, but they don't believe in that. If they go out with friends, it's all together, and the only thing she seems to do away from them is go to work parties. I can NEVER just be with family if I ever decided to have one. I had a boyfriend who wanted me all to himself and I couldn't stand him and eventually dumped him. I have to have multiple things to do cause I can't sit still anyways. Even when I got a job after my degree and tried to be serious and working, I was unhappy until I pushed myself to have a social life with fun people regardless of being an introvert, and realized it created a balance for me, especially cause I work at the kind of job where burnout can happen quickly if you don't take care of yourself. It is so important to not let a single thing like a job or a family or religion solely identify who you are. We have multiple identities, traits, should have lots of interests and be openminded, and then we can attract aiming for inner peace instead of expecting it to be handed to us.

I started this thread, really, to discuss the concept of being "interesting" and having outside interests.

I don't regret being who I am or doing what I did, but will acknowledge that having other interests besides the four walls of your home is a healthy thing.

As for the "inner peace" bit...I think it's a WHOLE lot more complicated than that. I know people who ride motorcycles and race cars and skydive and do all kinds of crazy, interesting things in their lives...but really have no inner peace.

Fauxie said:

PurpleJedi said:

In one of the many discussions/arguments/talks that my "wife" and I have had, she flat-out told me that it was 'pathetic' that my identity was based solely on her and the kids.

My wife's never come out and said that to me, but she's alluded to it, and my father's said it. I've thought about it a few times, too. Shit, the kids I spend a lot of time with aren't even my own, but rather my nephews. I'm cool with it though. My wife doesn't like spending as much time with me as I'm happy to with her, so she does her own thing more these days as we find a good balance for us. I'm ok with how things are, I've decided. I have a few little interests here and there. I just like seeing people happy though, seeing my family here happy and doing ok, and when I can do things towards that end I feel like nothing's missing. I feel content and I sleep well. I put in a lot of effort with our youngest nephew as far as spending quality time with him, and I'll occasionally bitch about the sacrifices, but all in all it's some of the best fun I have. It feels really worthwhile and I think family is increasingly important to me. I've lost interest in other things, in some material things, and I'm loathe to buy 'stuff' for myself much of time. It's not some altruistic, noble thing, it's just what interests me now, what's important, what brings me the most happiness seems to have changed this last 5 or 6 years.

I think I'm an interesting person in so far as I interest myself, make myself laugh. As for if others find me interesting, I think I come across as a bit dull, a bit stiff and restrained perhaps, in some (not all) situations, but that's alright. Occasionally my wife will gaze at me for a moment when I say (or sing hehe) something perhaps a little odd or funny and she has this cute smile on her face. She'll say "I love you" and I know it's like part of a longer, partly unspoken sentence along the lines of "sometimes I remember just why I love you". I think I possibly keep a bit too much of myself to myself most of the time, I don't know why. Maybe I'm potentially very, very interesting, who knows!

You are an introvert dude.

PurpleJedi said:

alphastreet said:

Interesting point, I agree with her, but no disrespect. I have an aunt that is only with my uncle and kids a lot and they do EVERYTHING together. I think they should vacation on their own to have a break, especially cause they had no honeymoon, but they don't believe in that. If they go out with friends, it's all together, and the only thing she seems to do away from them is go to work parties. I can NEVER just be with family if I ever decided to have one. I had a boyfriend who wanted me all to himself and I couldn't stand him and eventually dumped him. I have to have multiple things to do cause I can't sit still anyways. Even when I got a job after my degree and tried to be serious and working, I was unhappy until I pushed myself to have a social life with fun people regardless of being an introvert, and realized it created a balance for me, especially cause I work at the kind of job where burnout can happen quickly if you don't take care of yourself. It is so important to not let a single thing like a job or a family or religion solely identify who you are. We have multiple identities, traits, should have lots of interests and be openminded, and then we can attract aiming for inner peace instead of expecting it to be handed to us.

I started this thread, really, to discuss the concept of being "interesting" and having outside interests.

I don't regret being who I am or doing what I did, but will acknowledge that having other interests besides the four walls of your home is a healthy thing.

As for the "inner peace" bit...I think it's a WHOLE lot more complicated than that. I know people who ride motorcycles and race cars and skydive and do all kinds of crazy, interesting things in their lives...but really have no inner peace.

Got nothing to add but a big . Been away from the org and just catching up on what I have missed. Sorry to hear about your tough times but I know you will get through it.

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

I used to be interesting.....

...in what way?

PurpleJedi said:

alphastreet said:

Interesting point, I agree with her, but no disrespect. I have an aunt that is only with my uncle and kids a lot and they do EVERYTHING together. I think they should vacation on their own to have a break, especially cause they had no honeymoon, but they don't believe in that. If they go out with friends, it's all together, and the only thing she seems to do away from them is go to work parties. I can NEVER just be with family if I ever decided to have one. I had a boyfriend who wanted me all to himself and I couldn't stand him and eventually dumped him. I have to have multiple things to do cause I can't sit still anyways. Even when I got a job after my degree and tried to be serious and working, I was unhappy until I pushed myself to have a social life with fun people regardless of being an introvert, and realized it created a balance for me, especially cause I work at the kind of job where burnout can happen quickly if you don't take care of yourself. It is so important to not let a single thing like a job or a family or religion solely identify who you are. We have multiple identities, traits, should have lots of interests and be openminded, and then we can attract aiming for inner peace instead of expecting it to be handed to us.

I started this thread, really, to discuss the concept of being "interesting" and having outside interests.

I don't regret being who I am or doing what I did, but will acknowledge that having other interests besides the four walls of your home is a healthy thing.

As for the "inner peace" bit...I think it's a WHOLE lot more complicated than that. I know people who ride motorcycles and race cars and skydive and do all kinds of crazy, interesting things in their lives...but really have no inner peace.

Yeah - we kind of got off track with all the "love yourself" and wife bashing, didn't we?

Sorry, PurpleJedi!

I never really addressed your question about interests, so here are mine and you can tell me if you would find me interesting

I like to have a healthy balance of being social and then having my alone time.

I love to travel, try new restaurants, hang out places where I can meet new people or just chat with strangers for a while.

I'm a flirt. I'm obsesseed with zumba. I like to have just enough information about any random subject that I can hold a conversation with anyone. I'm not stupid.

During my alone time, I like to read usually fantasy or sci-fi books.

Probably the thing that most people find interesting about me right now is that I have just quit my job to take a mid-life retirement. I'm going to spend a year in South America, not working - and just see what kind of fun adventures ensue! I'm leaving next month.

That's it. Not much, huh?

CallMeCarrie said:

PurpleJedi said:

I started this thread, really, to discuss the concept of being "interesting" and having outside interests.

I don't regret being who I am or doing what I did, but will acknowledge that having other interests besides the four walls of your home is a healthy thing.

As for the "inner peace" bit...I think it's a WHOLE lot more complicated than that. I know people who ride motorcycles and race cars and skydive and do all kinds of crazy, interesting things in their lives...but really have no inner peace.

Yeah - we kind of got off track with all the "love yourself" and wife bashing, didn't we?

Sorry, PurpleJedi!

I never really addressed your question about interests, so here are mine and you can tell me if you would find me interesting

I like to have a healthy balance of being social and then having my alone time.

I love to travel, try new restaurants, hang out places where I can meet new people or just chat with strangers for a while.

I'm a flirt. I'm obsesseed with zumba. I like to have just enough information about any random subject that I can hold a conversation with anyone. I'm not stupid.

During my alone time, I like to read usually fantasy or sci-fi books.

Probably the thing that most people find interesting about me right now is that I have just quit my job to take a mid-life retirement. I'm going to spend a year in South America, not working - and just see what kind of fun adventures ensue! I'm leaving next month.

That's it. Not much, huh?

a big to everyone for the overwhelming support & words of encouragement.

As 4 U...yes you are definitely interesting!

Reading sci-fi is a big in my book.

The trip to South America blows it all out of the water though!

That sounds amazing! Where exactly are you going? I wish I could do the same myself!

In fact...a contractor that I deal with was telling me of a project that his firm is doing in the Virgin Islands, and I came THIS close to asking him for the open position of Project Manager.

Alas, I just can't think of packing up and leaving my kids for 6 - 9 months like that...plus it'd probvably be grounds for abandonment in a court of law or something.

But you have a great time and enjoy your amazing experience!

PurpleJedi said:

a big to everyone for the overwhelming support & words of encouragement.

As 4 U...yes you are definitely interesting!

Reading sci-fi is a big in my book.

The trip to South America blows it all out of the water though!

That sounds amazing! Where exactly are you going? I wish I could do the same myself!

In fact...a contractor that I deal with was telling me of a project that his firm is doing in the Virgin Islands, and I came THIS close to asking him for the open position of Project Manager.

Alas, I just can't think of packing up and leaving my kids for 6 - 9 months like that...plus it'd probvably be grounds for abandonment in a court of law or something.

But you have a great time and enjoy your amazing experience!

I'll be living in Buenos Aires. I'm looking forward to it! Since I won't be working and none of my family/friends will be around, I will be curious to see what I do to fill my time. Maybe I'll pick up some new interesting hobbies! I feel lucky to have the opportunity to do this. I am not married, no kids, nothing really to stop me. There was a point last year that I thought a relationship was going to turn into something significant and I may have reconsidered my plans to leave. I was sad that the relationship didn't work out, but maybe things happen for a reason sometimes!

You're lucky to have 2 wonderful children to love and that is amazing, too!

babynoz said:

PurpleJedi said:

This is inspired by a comment made by Punkmistress on Missfee's thread about "not being with the one you love".

In one of the many discussions/arguments/talks that my "wife" and I have had, she flat-out told me that it was 'pathetic' that my identity was based solely on her and the kids. That I have no outside interests or hobbies.

After the anger subsided, I realized that she is correct. Throwing myself into the role of father/provider 100% has made me a boring individual. Besides Prince.org and sci-fi books there really isn't anything that I dedicated time to for myself personally. It was work, sleep, eat, and dedicate time to the kids.

Now that I'm looking towards bachelorhood again, I find myself struggling to find anything interesting about myself. I like to travel - but it's all been kid-related trips since 1998. I enjoy dining out, but it's all been kid-friendly chain restaurants. I enjoy the movies, but it's been mostly Pixar and Dreamworks for as long as I can remember.

I'm afraid that I've allowed myself to become a very boring individual.

So step 1 is now to find interesting things that I enjoy and pursue them. Such as going into NYC and trying out new restaurants, or catching interesting exhibits at the MOMA, or even as my cousin suggested; start watching Sports just to be able to "talk sports". Hell...I'm even considering Golf and Yoga for Christian's sake.

SO...what about YOU?

Are you an interesting person? What makes you so?

Okay, wifey is kinda pissin' me off here because it sounds like she's trying to deflect attention from her wrongdoing by dumping on you. In other words, she wants to feel justified in what she did because you're not 'Mr. Excitement"? It's bs and the way she said it by calling you pathetic is emotionally abusive.

It also makes my blood boil because there's so many ladies out here who are sick at heart because of fathers who don't give a damn about their kids.

Judging by the many interesting threads and comments you post here I wouldn't call you boring at all. Granted, wifey knows you better than I, but even if you had the personality of shoe leather, that still doesn't make it okay for her to trash you in order to ease her guilt.

None of us are perfect...so what? People who always think the grass is greener somewhere else never realize that it's probably because they seldom take time to water their own damn grass.

Movng on, if you think there's some validity to what she says then a good place to start would be looking at the things that interested you when you were young and carefree. Just about everyone has some special interest or talent that they maybe forgot about when they settled down. What kinds of things were you drawn to before?

Co-sign

Having a short org relapse. By my own experience, I can honestly say that liberating yourself from daily psychological abuse is very, very, very good thing to do. You will be the most interesting person to yourself after that.

Wish you the best. And start reading up on the book "Stalking the soul" by Hirigoyen and "Woman who love too much" by Robin Norwood. The latter is adressed to women, however, does apply to a lot of men too. These two books saved me. By reading them and applying everything I've read, I saved my own life.

And today the judge helped me with that too!

XxAxX said:

i dunno. probably not, but i sure entertain me.

And me.

You made me laugh a lot. Thank you for that.

dJJ said:

Co-sign

Having a short org relapse. By my own experience, I can honestly say that liberating yourself from daily psychological abuse is very, very, very good thing to do. You will be the most interesting person to yourself after that.

Wish you the best. And start reading up on the book "Stalking the soul" by Hirigoyen and "Woman who love too much" by Robin Norwood. The latter is adressed to women, however, does apply to a lot of men too. These two books saved me. By reading them and applying everything I've read, I saved my own life.

And today the judge helped me with that too!

So do you think that divorce makes us "interesting" ?

Perhaps going through the turmoil & emotional chaos kind'a gives us an "edge" wouldn't you say?

Worth a shot.

I mirror what everybody said about your wife's comments, PurpleJedi.

The thing I wanna ask is this though, are you HAPPY? "Interesting" be damned for the moment, there's too much emphasis on "interesting" from somebody else' view, never mind the fact that the same person they were deeming as "uninteresting" might actually be happy with whatever they're doing. So again, are you?

As for me, I wouldn't know, to be honest I could be a great company to some, and a bore as fuckin' sin to others. I'm easily entertained, I don't know what else to say what a tough question to answer

Harlepolis said:

I mirror what everybody said about your wife's comments, PurpleJedi.

The thing I wanna ask is this though, are you HAPPY? "Interesting" be damned for the moment, there's too much emphasis on "interesting" from somebody else' view, never mind the fact that the same person they were deeming as "uninteresting" might actually be happy with whatever they're doing. So again, are you?

As for me, I wouldn't know, to be honest I could be a great company to some, and a bore as fuckin' sin to others. I'm easily entertained, I don't know what else to say what a tough question to answer

Well, up until this happened, then yeah I was very happy. I enjoyed my simple life. Taking care of the family made me happy the way scaling Mt. Washington would make a hiker happy.

Then it goes away and I'm a miserable S.O.B.

But that's the whole point of this thread...expanding your horizons and becoming what conventional wisdom deems as "interesting" or having outside interests beyond the 4 walls of your home.

Happiness is a state of mind after all. Yesterday bringing home the bacon made me happy. Tomorrow eating bacon on a croissant at the foot of the Eiffel Tower will probably do the trick.

I'm just me. It's more like take it or leave it. Maybe to some I'm interesting and some they don't even know me that well because, I'm really antisocial (no fault, just the way it is).