Genesia said:

PurpleJedi said:

Well, I guess if others find you interesting, then you have something to work with.

To be honest, in some respects, I think my life is a little too interesting. By which I mean, it isn't exactly skeleton free. So I put a pretty fair amount of effort into downplaying certain things - and playing other things up to draw attention away from the stuff I'm diminishing.

Fortunately, I have a lot to draw on.

Sounds good.

veronikka said:

PurpleJedi said:

In one of the many discussions/arguments/talks that my "wife" and I have had, she flat-out told me that it was 'pathetic' that my identity was based solely on her and the kids. That I have no outside interests or hobbies.

If this is what made you happy, that does not make you pathetic!

I was with my ex for over 11 years, most of our time was family time, the two of us along with my daughter and his two kids. We did lots together and that made me happy! When I was no longer happy in our relationship I left him but even after that happened I didicated a lot of time to our daughters because I wanted to be there for them as much as possible! I had very little me time. Now those girls are 17 and don't need me around as much, I have occupied my time with getting myself in shape, which I'm sure is quite boring to most

Yeah, I don't want to change that part of me. I want to be there for my kids and experience as much of their lives as possible while they still allow me in. When puberty hits and dad becomes an idiot, then I'll have fond memories to last me through until they're in their late 20's and begin to appreciate me again.

And BTW...I've gotten into working out and it's becoming a bit addictive. For the first time in my life I made a muscle and there was actually something between the skin and the bone! There's a whole culture dedicated to working out...so no, it's not boring!

Lammastide said:

PurpleJedi said:

This is inspired by a comment made by Punkmistress on Missfee's thread about "not being with the one you love".

In one of the many discussions/arguments/talks that my "wife" and I have had, she flat-out told me that it was 'pathetic' that my identity was based solely on her and the kids. That I have no outside interests or hobbies.

After the anger subsided, I realized that she is correct. Throwing myself into the role of father/provider 100% has made me a boring individual. Besides Prince.org and sci-fi books there really isn't anything that I dedicated time to for myself personally. It was work, sleep, eat, and dedicate time to the kids.

Now that I'm looking towards bachelorhood again, I find myself struggling to find anything interesting about myself. I like to travel - but it's all been kid-related trips since 1998. I enjoy dining out, but it's all been kid-friendly chain restaurants. I enjoy the movies, but it's been mostly Pixar and Dreamworks for as long as I can remember.

I'm afraid that I've allowed myself to become a very boring individual.

So step 1 is now to find interesting things that I enjoy and pursue them. Such as going into NYC and trying out new restaurants, or catching interesting exhibits at the MOMA, or even as my cousin suggested; start watching Sports just to be able to "talk sports". Hell...I'm even considering Golf and Yoga for Christian's sake.

SO...what about YOU?

Are you an interesting person? What makes you so?

It's one thing to encourage a partner to develop interests outside of the home. That sort of thing is healthy. It's quite another -- itself pathetic -- to criticize one's partner as pathetic for dedicating so much of themselves to home and family. Many people would love that sort of devotion. Your wife's criticism may be based in truth, but it screams "red herring" from any amount of her own crap, which we've already discussed elsewhere. It's good you're exploring new interests, PurpleJedi. Just make sure you're doing it for your own enrichment; not to make yourself more marketable to idiots who are impressed by shiny things.

As for me: Am I interesting? Well, I think I represent a truck load of paradoxes to certain people, and it intrigues some of them to sift through the apparent contradictions. I'd perhaps trade the breadth of that eclecticism for more devotion and depth in fewer areas, though, because being a jack of all trades, master of none forges a lack of articulation beyond a certain point of inquiry. And at that point, I'm boring as hell.

Can I ever relate to that!

I've often thought, "To what heights might I rise if only I could focus?"

Serious said:

I guess it will take you some time to find new interests. And it's sad that your wife did not appreciate your devotion. At the other hand I agree with what sextonseven posted: maybe the 2 of you should have done more things as a couple too. For me I never enjoyed doing things without my partner even though everybody says it's healthy for a relationship. But I just enjoy everything so much more when I can do it with the one I love. Everything just makes me happy when I care share it with my man . In my last relationship I always tried to make all my friends my bf's friends too and have him around as well when I met them. And whenever I did something that I enjoyed without him I couldn't wait to tell him every detail about it and telling him was nicer than the experience itsself. And it's still the same in my new relationship, doing things without my man just is not fullfilling for me. When frinds are staying with me I miss him being there too, no matter how nice it is . Last summer I went to a Prince concert and the show was really awesome, a lot better than I expected it to be and I met so many old and new friends there that I found hardly the time to talk to every one of them. Even my ex was there, but I still could not really enjoy it as my bf was not there and for quite some time doing the concert I hardly could concentrate on the show because of that . This is one of the reasons why I probably will not see any of Prince's European concerts this summer even though my bf tries to talk me into going and would be very happy if I go. Take your time and try to find things you enjoy to do on your own !

Well, be glad that you have LOVE in your life!!!

PurpleJedi said:

I don't know and I don't know if I'd actually like it if someone said I'm "interesting". Some people like my company and that's enough for me.

Lammastide said:

It's one thing to encourage a partner to develop interests outside of the home. That sort of thing is healthy. It's quite another -- itself pathetic -- to criticize one's partner as pathetic for dedicating so much of themselves to home and family. Many people would love that sort of devotion. Your wife's criticism may be based in truth, but it screams "red herring" from any amount of her own crap, which we've already discussed elsewhere. It's good you're exploring new interests, PurpleJedi. Just make sure you're doing it for your own enrichment; not to make yourself more marketable to idiots who are impressed by shiny things.

As for me: Am I interesting? Well, I think I represent a truck load of paradoxes to certain people, and it intrigues some of them to sift through the apparent contradictions. I'd perhaps trade the breadth of that eclecticism for more devotion and depth in fewer areas, though, because being a jack of all trades, master of none forges a lack of articulation beyond a certain point of inquiry. And at that point, I'm boring as hell.

Your paradoxes make you - by default - one of the most interesting people around!

PurpleJedi said:

JowiiCoco said:

Nah, I'm quite boring.

CallMeCarrie said:

To answer your question... I think I am interesting person, but I don't think that others will necessarily find me interesting. Ususally the people who find me interesting are people who share my interests or want to sleep with me!

So my opinion is that we should be who we are for our own satisfaction and not just to be considered interesting by someone else.

Screw your ex! In fact screw anyone who finds it necessary to comment on whether they consider you interesting or not. You get to live your life however you want. If you are happy going to pixar movies, sitting on the couch and drinking beer, reading a book, whatever...then that is what you should do!

However if you have the urge for some adventure, excitement, culture, or variety - then by all means go out and explore your options.

The world is your oyster, my friend!

You're correct on all counts.

I don't think that it's possible to be interesting to EVERYONE, but it's good to have hobbies,etc. that you can share & discuss with others.

...actually...doesn't being a member of the Org make us ALL a bit more interesting than the average person?

Alej said:

JowiiCoco said:

I don't know and I don't know if I'd actually like it if someone said I'm "interesting". Some people like my company and that's enough for me.

How can we take that comment seriously, with a signature like THAT!?!?!

Lammastide said:

As for me: Am I interesting? Well, I think I represent a truck load of paradoxes to certain people, and it intrigues some of them to sift through the apparent contradictions. I'd perhaps trade the breadth of that eclecticism for more devotion and depth in fewer areas, though, because being a jack of all trades, master of none forges a lack of articulation beyond a certain point of inquiry. And at that point, I'm boring as hell.

Purplejedi I think your "wife" intentions/motivations in name calling maybe a bit projecting and a disservice to you both. When you have responsibilities such as a job and family to maintain there is little time for yourself and each other-unless you give up sleep. I just sense a lack of appreciation and respect from your "wife." In short, your "wife" appears selfish.

PurpleJedi said:

This is inspired by a comment made by Punkmistress on Missfee's thread about "not being with the one you love".

In one of the many discussions/arguments/talks that my "wife" and I have had, she flat-out told me that it was 'pathetic' that my identity was based solely on her and the kids. That I have no outside interests or hobbies.

After the anger subsided, I realized that she is correct. Throwing myself into the role of father/provider 100% has made me a boring individual. Besides Prince.org and sci-fi books there really isn't anything that I dedicated time to for myself personally. It was work, sleep, eat, and dedicate time to the kids.

Now that I'm looking towards bachelorhood again, I find myself struggling to find anything interesting about myself. I like to travel - but it's all been kid-related trips since 1998. I enjoy dining out, but it's all been kid-friendly chain restaurants. I enjoy the movies, but it's been mostly Pixar and Dreamworks for as long as I can remember.

I'm afraid that I've allowed myself to become a very boring individual.

So step 1 is now to find interesting things that I enjoy and pursue them. Such as going into NYC and trying out new restaurants, or catching interesting exhibits at the MOMA, or even as my cousin suggested; start watching Sports just to be able to "talk sports". Hell...I'm even considering Golf and Yoga for Christian's sake.

SO...what about YOU?

Are you an interesting person? What makes you so?

I truely believe that everyone, EVERYONE, is "interesting". You might not enjoy talking to someone because his or her topics just aren't for you. But I find it endlessly interesting what makes us "us" (experiences, upbringing, circumstance, biology etc.) and therefore everyone is interesting.

Phishanga said:

kewlschool said:

Lammastide said:

As for me: Am I interesting? Well, I think I represent a truck load of paradoxes to certain people, and it intrigues some of them to sift through the apparent contradictions. I'd perhaps trade the breadth of that eclecticism for more devotion and depth in fewer areas, though, because being a jack of all trades, master of none forges a lack of articulation beyond a certain point of inquiry. And at that point, I'm boring as hell.

Purplejedi I think your "wife" intentions/motivations in name calling maybe a bit projecting and a disservice to you both. When you have responsibilities such as a job and family to maintain there is little time for yourself and each other-unless you give up sleep. I just sense a lack of appreciation and respect from your "wife." In short, your "wife" appears selfish.

Yeah...selfish, self-centered & egotistical...that's my honey.

It just blew me away that she'd say that when - right or wrong - it was to her benefit that I was who I was. And yeah, with 3 kids only 2 years apart each...it's been diapers & doctors appointments & dance recitals & PTA meetings seemingly non-stop. It's only NOW that they're a bit older and can fend for themselves just a bit, that we should be enjoying more "us" time.

But whatever. Now it's finding "me" time to become a more interesting individual.

I wonder how long I would last in an MMA school???

PurpleJedi said:

I think I am interesting, but maybe not on the surface

Phishanga said:

I truely believe that everyone, EVERYONE, is "interesting". You might not enjoy talking to someone because his or her topics just aren't for you. But I find it endlessly interesting what makes us "us" (experiences, upbringing, circumstance, biology etc.) and therefore everyone is interesting.

You are right. We all have varying degrees of "interesting-ness" () - some more than others...but I suppose we all have a story to tell.

PurpleJedi said:

Phishanga said:

I truely believe that everyone, EVERYONE, is "interesting". You might not enjoy talking to someone because his or her topics just aren't for you. But I find it endlessly interesting what makes us "us" (experiences, upbringing, circumstance, biology etc.) and therefore everyone is interesting.

You are right. We all have varying degrees of "interesting-ness" () - some more than others...but I suppose we all have a story to tell.

yes, some people are just more easily engaging. Some people you might have to drag it out of them.

Serious said:

PurpleJedi said:

I wonder how long I would last in an MMA school???

What's that?

MIXED MARTIAL ARTS

...of course, I've never thrown a punch in my life, so this is how my matches would all end...

NDRU said:

PurpleJedi said:

You are right. We all have varying degrees of "interesting-ness" () - some more than others...but I suppose we all have a story to tell.

yes, some people are just more easily engaging. Some people you might have to drag it out of them.

...or maybe not necessarily "drag" it out of them, but more like "get to know" them and discover what makes them tick.

Alej said:

Nah, I'm quite boring.

That's cool.

PurpleJedi said:

kewlschool said:

Purplejedi I think your "wife" intentions/motivations in name calling maybe a bit projecting and a disservice to you both. When you have responsibilities such as a job and family to maintain there is little time for yourself and each other-unless you give up sleep. I just sense a lack of appreciation and respect from your "wife." In short, your "wife" appears selfish.

Yeah...selfish, self-centered & egotistical...that's my honey.

It just blew me away that she'd say that when - right or wrong - it was to her benefit that I was who I was. And yeah, with 3 kids only 2 years apart each...it's been diapers & doctors appointments & dance recitals & PTA meetings seemingly non-stop. It's only NOW that they're a bit older and can fend for themselves just a bit, that we should be enjoying more "us" time.

But whatever. Now it's finding "me" time to become a more interesting individual.

I wonder how long I would last in an MMA school???

Did you do it because then she had to be thankful for you and love you in return?

Or did you do it because you enjoy family life and nurturing?

PurpleJedi said:

NDRU said:

yes, some people are just more easily engaging. Some people you might have to drag it out of them.

...or maybe not necessarily "drag" it out of them, but more like "get to know" them and discover what makes them tick.

I rely on their own decision to tell or not. If somebody doesn't want to come forward, that's okay. You don't have to engage. If you want to tell. Nice, let me hear, I'm interested (most of the time). And if what you'r telling me doesn't interest me; that's okay. You'r still an interesting person.

There are a lot of people who find me not so interesting to talk to. That doesn't mean I'm not an interesting person. I'm just a very bad story teller, or my subjects are not interesting to the person who listens.

By the way. I'm here, because IRL nobody wants to talk about Prince with me. They'r fed up with it. Happily, I can read about him here. And find other people who also consider talking in detail about Prince is interesting.

Serious said:

Alej said:

Nah, I'm quite boring.

And why would so many people here like you a lot if you were?

idk

But many people I know say I'm really boring

Maybe it's because, most of the time, they have no idea what I'm talking about

ZombieKitten said:

I have a lot of interests, my life is super glamorous But I can be quite shy sometimes and I've totally been written off by people before they even get to know me, but if I think about it, the people I have let down my guard to really seem to like me and being around me, and I love them

You're amessing

PurpleJedi said: