You're very cute! Probally jealous of you. 2014-Year of the Parties | |
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Some times I think I'll grow a big curly afro that will put Prince to shame. I have grow out of my cut first or it won't be big and round.
No More Haters on the Internet. | |
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anf what's up with that ebola outbreak anyway? can birds catch ebola?? anyone know? | |
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GETTING OFF THE CRAZY TRAIN NEXT WEEK
Having to deal with their moods and issues, while having to deal with your own, makes for a perfect confusion storm. These past few weeks I've had to deal with working with someone new to our car group, it's been pretty consistent now, and some days he doesn't like me and when I think that he'll just diss me again, then he's friendly.
Also these past few weeks, the girl that I normally work with has been treating me differently. Last week when she was on her period she treated me mean and ignored me. I forgave her and life went on. This morning I felt like she was back to her old self but then I caught her talking crap about me with the guy after the elevator door closed. I wasn't on the elevator with them. She made it sound like I was only concerned about my hours when I wanted to sit and have a break. It's not fair that when she/they want to smoke, they have a lot of breaks, but when you want to take a break, they make you feel lazy or something. | |
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10 Things to Remind Yourself on a Daily Basis When I clawed my way out of a depressive phase last year, it was a daily challenge to keep myself from falling back into that phase again. I had to go through a process of re-building my self-esteem and re-evaluating my life. But there were days when I was not very successful with these things and the negative thoughts that stayed with me for so long would interfere again.
It sort of felt like climbing up and over a steep hill and every time I let a negative or discouraging thought sink in, my foot would slip and I would roll all the way back down to the bottom of the hill and have to start all over again.
On the bad days, I would feel like it would never end and that I would always be unhappy.
To achieve mental balance, I have to make a habit of reminding myself of a few important things that I think we all tend to forget when there is a black cloud looming over our heads.
1. Do not lose sight of what truly matters. Does that clogged sink signify the end of the world? Are you going to remember or even care that the stranger you smiled at in the coffee shop didn’t smile back? When we’re having a bad day, we seem to zoom in on petty things and complain about them. Next time you’re pulling your hair out over something, ask yourself if it really matters.
2. It is okay to be alone or pull back from the world. Sometimes we just need to step back and re-evaluate a situation, a relationship, or just life in general. When I went through my healing period, I spent a lot of time alone as I tried to become my own best friend again. If you need to go into hiding for awhile and work on stitching yourself back up, take the time to do that. It is so important to pull back and spend quality time with yourself every now and then.
3. You are not always in control. You cannot predict when certain things will or should happen, or how everything will turn out. Sometimes you just have to stop pushing and let go.
4. What other people think is irrelevant. I was a miserable slave to the opinions of others. It got to a point where I was trying so hard to please everyone but myself. Don’t let your immediate reaction to criticism be to change whatever it is you’re being criticized for. Do whatever feels right to you, regardless of what other people have to say about it.
5. Don’t give up. If you’re fighting for something that means a lot to you, do not stop fighting whenever you happen to fall short. Remember why you are fighting for it.
6. You don’t have to know all the answers. No one ever has life all figured out. We are always learning and growing. Life itself is a mystery and it’s okay to feel clueless sometimes.
7. You are enough. All of us have had times in our lives where we have thought, “I’m not smart enough or pretty enough or strong enough or exciting enough to do _____.” Give yourself a chance instead of forming limiting beliefs.
8. Stay present. Try not to dwell on the past or worry about the future. Take everything one day at a time.
9. Your feelings will not kill you. I know that heartbreak, grief, depression, or resentment might make you feel like you’re dead and breathing, but you have the strength to get through whatever life throws at you. Hold on and see yourself through it.
10. You are human. This is probably the biggest reminder of them all. You will make mistakes. You will hurt other people and other people will hurt you. You won’t always feel happy and positive. Next time you feel the urge to beat yourself up over any of these things, remind yourself that you are an imperfect human being instead. | |
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Speaking of crazies and them being off and on with me, my next door neighbor seems to be 'on' with me again. The last couple of times I seen him on the bus he talked to me, called me 'sweetie' and 'hey girlfriend'. [Edited 7/27/14 3:15am] | |
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I hope it's not considered cheating on my liquid diet if I eat Costco' Tasty Bite's Madras Lentils. I know it's not liquid, but the lentils are so soft that I don't need to chew them really. [Edited 7/27/14 3:22am] | |
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This weekend was my dad's family reunion up in New Jersey, but I did not go (I have not gone for the past few years). I didn't go because I have never felt close to my dad's family, mostly because all of my relatives live in different cities far away from here. The only time I saw my dad's family was one someone croaked or got hitched. When I do see my dad's family, they barely even acknowledge me (why, I don't know, since I've never said or done anything to them to make them dislike me). My dad's relatives talk about the most uninteresting and boring topics (things that don't even remotely interest me). If I do try to say something during a conversation, other family members talk right over me like I'm not even there. WTF is up with that? These reunions are as boring as watching paint dry. Why should I drive up to my cousin's house (about an 8 - 10 hour drive one way), and sit there and be bored the whole time I am there? I would rather be bored here at home. The last time I saw my cousin (who is hosting this reunion in New Jersey), he walked right by me without evening saying hello (like I was not even there). Again, WTF????? And then there is the added fact that I don't even like this cousin much anyway (never did, he's just been a show-off his whole life, in my honest opinion). My parents tell me he has a beautiful home, I would love it, blah, blah, blah. I don't really give a damn about how someone's beautiful home is. I care more about the company and the people that I'm with. Having a big home with all the trimmings means little to me. I really think that the reason why my cousin is having this reunion is to again show off to everybody what he has (“Look at me, I made it big, I'm doing well in my life.” Whoop dee do! ). I think staying home is the best option for me, honestly, so that is what I did. I know my dad is disappointed (he asked me again if I was going to the reunion, even after I told him that I was not going), but I'm a grown adult now. I'm capable of making my own decisions in life, whether someone else likes it or not. If someone doesn’t like it, well, that’s their problem, not mine.
RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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2014-Year of the Parties | |
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Did my 2 day liquid fast. Was sooooooo tempted to eat solids but I didn't. So proud that I didn't. | |
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Thank you... but I think it's just a military thing. | |
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How did I get so damn disorganized? I never used to be this way, but now it seems like I can't get anything done with my crazy, ever-changing work schedule. RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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Funny thing that I saw that happened about a week ago. I meant to post this earlier, but I keep forgetting to do so. I was driving through a parking lot, when I spotted a car that had the license plate, "I Love CJ", on it. When I saw that plate, I busted out laughing. Too bad I didn't have a camera, to get a picture of it. It would have been even funnier if the lady driving the car had the song, "Billy Jack Bitch" playing in her car on full blast, with the bass turned way up. RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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How Zionist propaganda works. | |
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I actually saw this the other night. Just this portion, not the whole episode of Sanford and Son. | |
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