If you ask someone out, do you expect you will be picking up the tab?

If you are asked out, do you expect that the other person will be picking up the tab?

How do you handle settling the bill when you are with someone new? Is it something you talk
about before the date?

I know everyone is different, which is why I want to hear about how you handle these situations.

If I ask someone out I expect it to be my treat. If he asks me out, I kind of expect he will want to pay only because I've never had a guy not try to pay for the tab. Even with that said, I always offer to go dutch.

It's never been something I've talked about beforehand.

If I were to do the asking, I would expect to pay. If he were to ask, I'd expect him to - but I would offer to get the tip.

Genesia said:

If I were to do the asking, I would expect to pay. If he were to ask, I'd expect him to - but I would offer to get the tip.

If I ask a woman out to dinner, I think whoever is closest to the drive-thru window should pay ...

[Edited 11/15/13 7:58am]

Byron said:

If I ask a woman out to dinner, I think whoever is closest to the drive-thru window should pay :yes:...

LadyCasanova said:

If you ask someone out, do you expect you will be picking up the tab?

If you are asked out, do you expect that the other person will be picking up the tab?

How do you handle settling the bill when you are with someone new? Is it something you talk
about before the date?

I know everyone is different, which is why I want to hear about how you handle these situations.

Don't ask anyone out; don't accept any invitations. Problem solved!

Byron said:

If I ask a woman out to dinner, I think whoever is closest to the drive-thru window should pay ...

Byron said:

If I ask a woman out to dinner, I think whoever is closest to the drive-thru window should pay ...

[Edited 11/15/13 7:58am]

LadyCasanova said:

If you ask someone out, do you expect you will be picking up the tab?

If you are asked out, do you expect that the other person will be picking up the tab?

How do you handle settling the bill when you are with someone new? Is it something you talk
about before the date?

I know everyone is different, which is why I want to hear about how you handle these situations.

Me, keep it simple, on the first time around. We each pay our own, keeps the mixed signals down.

imo, whoever invites should pay. otherwise split or take turns picking up the tab

XxAxX said:

imo, whoever invites should pay. otherwise split or take turns picking up the tab

Otherwise?...Is it possible for 2 people to go out to eat with someone where neither person invites the other? lol...

I've had some of the NASTIEST arguments of my life over this issue

I hate the people who pay my bill without asking, specially if he/she gets cocky about it, like "yeah, I've paid your bill too, that means you should do the same for me some other day"

excuse me??

pay your stuff, and I'll pay mine

edit: I was talking about small stuff, like coffee, a beer, etc. If we're talking about "dinner for two", lunch for 4-5 folks, I normally like to specify how are we going to pay...just to avoid future stupid situations, like a single person paying everything (WHY??? WHAT THE HELL FOR??? WHAT'S HIS/HER AGENDA??)

[Edited 11/15/13 13:19pm]

Growing up, my mom told me that if I asked a friend to come do something with me I
should expect to pay for my friend as well. She said there was a difference between just meeting
up and asking someone to come do something with you. So, growing up, if I invited a
friend somewhere (to the movies, water park, to get ice cream) I payed for them.

I never expected them to pay for me. Sometimes they did, sometimes they didn't.

When I got to college and did similar things, people looked at me like I was crazy. I have gotten
into a number of arguments about it. Now, I will sometimes randomly pick up the bill for a friend
but I don't do it automatically anymore.

JoeTyler said:

edit: I was talking about small stuff, like coffee, a beer, etc. If we're talking about "dinner for two", lunch for 4-5 folks, I normally like to specify how are we going to pay...just to avoid future stupid situations, like a single person paying everything (WHY??? WHAT THE HELL FOR??? WHAT'S HIS/HER AGENDA??)

[Edited 11/15/13 13:19pm]

Why do you become so suspicious?

Genesia said:

If I were to do the asking, I would expect to pay. If he were to ask, I'd expect him to - but I would offer to get the tip.

I have done this. I have also offered to get the drinks (before or after) or pay for dessert.

Genesia said:

If I were to do the asking, I would expect to pay. If he were to ask, I'd expect him to - but I would offer to get the tip.

When my wife and I were dating, we just naturally sort of fell into this pattern. There was no real formality around this, though, and sometimes we went Dutch.

XxAxX said:

imo, whoever invites should pay. otherwise split or take turns picking up the tab

^^^That.

If you ask someone out to dinner, you are extending an invitation and it is understood that you will pick up the tab. If someone invites you to dinner, it is understood that person is also extending and invitation and the host will pay. You can offer to pay the tip, which I always do, but it's not required. But if someone asks you to dinner and when the check comes, looks at you expectantly, kick his/her ass to the curb promptly. That person is a boor.

Two things that piss me off when dining out:

Cheap ass tippers. If I'm someone's gues for dinner and they pay the check and leave no tip or less than 15% for good service, that raises a red flag. That person is probably a tight wad with a bad attitude.

If dining with a group and everyone is responsible for his/her own meal, someone always comes up short or doesn't include their share of the tip and sits there looking all innocent, expecting the money to magically appear. Someone always has to step up, and sometimes it was me who offered to make up the difference to save embarrassment. I have learned to ask for separate checks when I dine with a group. If someone insists that there be just one check, I insist on having my own check, period.

The restaurant pays. Dine & ditch.

Tempest said:

The restaurant pays. Dine & ditch.

kewlschool said:

Tempest said:

The restaurant pays. Dine & ditch.

*

I don't know. Never been on a date. I think I paid for a few of my wife's drinks the first time we met though. Great investment.

I usually just take turns, no matter who asks whom out. First I will pay, then I'll let her pay and so on.

She does or we're both gonna starve.

I live in Holland.

You are expected to pay the bill.

In times that I was really, really broke and had no nickle at all, friends offered kindly to pay for me.

Now, I have a bit money again, and every spare dime I spend on treating these friends drinks and food. Untill they get irritated over it, saying that they helped me out and consider that to be natural behavior and me "paying them back" is insulting. They expect me to help out other people in need when another needs/asks my help. And they are right.


In Holland it is so rare that a guy picks up the bill for the lady, that when a man does pay for me, I really like it. I do think it's very gentleman thing to do.

If I know he is going to pay, because he says it's my treat, I will bring a little gift that I know he likes. It's just nice to acknowledge their kidness.

Dave1992 said:

I usually just take turns, no matter who asks whom out. First I will pay, then I'll let her pay and so on.

words of wisdom!!

I mean, when I pay someone else's bill, that's only because I said "I'm gonna INVITE you to a drink/beer" etc in advance...

dJJ said:

I live in Holland.

You are expected to pay the bill.

In times that I was really, really broke and had no nickle at all, friends offered kindly to pay for me.

Now, I have a bit money again, and every spare dime I spend on treating these friends drinks and food. Untill they get irritated over it, saying that they helped me out and consider that to be natural behavior and me "paying them back" is insulting. They expect me to help out other people in need when another needs/asks my help. And they are right.


In Holland it is so rare that a guy picks up the bill for the lady, that when a man does pay for me, I really like it. I do think it's very gentleman thing to do.

If I know he is going to pay, because he says it's my treat, I will bring a little gift that I know he likes. It's just nice to acknowledge their kidness.

Thank you for sharing! I had no idea that this was rare in Holland.

When I was younger, my kid sister finally got permission to date. Except, my mom made it clear
that she had to have a chaperone. My sister could choose between my brother, my mom, or me.

My sister ended up settling with me. I felt really bad because the guy in question would not
take my sister out if I would not agree to let him pick up my tab as well. He pretty much dated
both of us for a while I know that shit was breaking his bank, he ended up picking up a extra
job to have money for dates.

He and I finally settled on a compromise and turned everything into a double date, with me dating
his older cousin (who was cute as hell). The boys always covered everything.