LadyCasanova said:

dJJ said:

I live in Holland.

You are expected to pay the bill.

In times that I was really, really broke and had no nickle at all, friends offered kindly to pay for me.

Now, I have a bit money again, and every spare dime I spend on treating these friends drinks and food. Untill they get irritated over it, saying that they helped me out and consider that to be natural behavior and me "paying them back" is insulting. They expect me to help out other people in need when another needs/asks my help. And they are right.


In Holland it is so rare that a guy picks up the bill for the lady, that when a man does pay for me, I really like it. I do think it's very gentleman thing to do.

If I know he is going to pay, because he says it's my treat, I will bring a little gift that I know he likes. It's just nice to acknowledge their kidness.

Thank you for sharing! I had no idea that this was rare in Holland.

When I was younger, my kid sister finally got permission to date. Except, my mom made it clear
that she had to have a chaperone. My sister could choose between my brother, my mom, or me.

My sister ended up settling with me. I felt really bad because the guy in question would not
take my sister out if I would not agree to let him pick up my tab as well. He pretty much dated
both of us for a while I know that shit was breaking his bank, he ended up picking up a extra
job to have money for dates.

He and I finally settled on a compromise and turned everything into a double date, with me dating
his older cousin (who was cute as hell). The boys always covered everything.

That's a bit unfair, isn't it?

I mean, I think that as long as women get paid 70% of what men get paid for the same job, women should only have to pay 70% of the bills too.

But, why on earth should boys be paying for everything? It's as if girls can't work themselves?

Do the girls feel Ok with that norm? I would feel guilty over this inequality.

And why a chaperonne? I mean, she can't talk herself?

I assume we're talking about dating, right?

Well, I haven't really dated in almost two decades, so my answer is obviously outdated: ME.
I always paid for everything. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

In fact years ago my old boss asked me what I thought was my biggest source of debt, and I answered; "dating". I racked up ALOT of credit card debt wooing the ex.


A while ago I went out with an old classmate. I paid for the first "date" (dinner then dancing), the second time around she wouldn't let me pay for dinner. It was - refreshing - to say the least. But the conversation of the night made me feel like we were there as friends/buddies, so I can't say that it was a "date".


We're supposed to get together soon...I guess it's my turn.

dJJ said:

LadyCasanova said:

Thank you for sharing! I had no idea that this was rare in Holland.

When I was younger, my kid sister finally got permission to date. Except, my mom made it clear
that she had to have a chaperone. My sister could choose between my brother, my mom, or me.

My sister ended up settling with me. I felt really bad because the guy in question would not
take my sister out if I would not agree to let him pick up my tab as well. He pretty much dated
both of us for a while I know that shit was breaking his bank, he ended up picking up a extra
job to have money for dates.

He and I finally settled on a compromise and turned everything into a double date, with me dating
his older cousin (who was cute as hell). The boys always covered everything.

That's a bit unfair, isn't it?

I mean, I think that as long as women get paid 70% of what men get paid for the same job, women should only have to pay 70% of the bills too.

But, why on earth should boys be paying for everything? It's as if girls can't work themselves?

Do the girls feel Ok with that norm? I would feel guilty over this inequality.

And why a chaperonne? I mean, she can't talk herself?

That is the way the guys (in question) were raised. Their fathers always told them that if they did
not intend to treat than they shouldn't even ask someone out. Their fathers would always ask
them if they had enough cash in their pockets and gas in their trucks before they came to pick us
up.

I always felt bad. When they stayed at our house I would always get up and make them a big
breakfast before they went to work. They did very physical labor at like 5 in the morning. I
would also buy dessert or bring them lunch on the weekends.

My sister never felt bad, she would have died before she paid for his dinner.

My sister was below the age of 17 and my mom wasn't worried about talkin

Go to the restroom shortly after the bill arrives. If its still there when you return, you pay

The guy pays or he doesn't ask someone out. It kind of is understood. If I'm doing the asking it's because I have a plan for us.

[Edited 11/20/13 22:48pm]