The good old fashioned Han Solo, " I Know...."
I recently (2 hours ago) had a woman drop a "love" bomb on me. I reeeealy has no desire to return that...I really do like the woman, don't get me wrong, but I don't wanna get caught up in the love game. She seemed to not have minded...but who knows ....ya know.

Lemme know ladies if its something one should even contemplating...

• have y'all ever done it?
  
  
• with what frequency?
  
  
• _Now did it play out...good,, bad, ugly?
  
  
• Did you.supplement the.three words.with.anything..words, actions, facial expression?
  
  
• Did you at some point, within 24 hours go.ahead and.repeat the three magic words?
  
  
• Any other pertinent info U're willing to share in regards to this?
  
  

This has happenned to me a few times recently.

My situation is a bit strange though. Some of they 'I love you' are due to an inability to be more specific or nuanced due to not being native-English speakers. Asians lag far behind Europeans in English. A typical dutch, German, etc. who has learned English is able to express how they feel with less difficulty. And Asian, not so much.

Another issue is that I am not looking for love or a partner. And especially not with someone easily 17 to 20 years younger than me. I'm in ass utopia...just not looking for my inner penis to be satisfied...only my outer penis.

wellllll.... not being specific here, just saying: if you get stinking drunk and tell dude during sex that you love him, it might not work out the way you want it to....

again non-specifically, i think those three words should just be understood, who needs to actually say them???

Hmm...

I have foolishly in the past said "I love you" to a guy 1st.

He told me... "Um, yeah... I don't feel the same way yet, it takes me a while to get there since I've been hurt and I don't like pressure."

I felt like a damn fool... I was hurt for a day and got over it because I was really happy he decided to be honest instead of bullshitting me along to not hurt my feelings.

Shit, I am a grown-up after all and honesty is what I should expect.

Since then I always allow a guy to drop the L bomb first no matter how I feel because that f-ing word brings too much drama if both parties are not on the same page.

So be honest with her, she will appreciate it in the long run, no need to coddle her like she's a four year old she will get over it and IF she really does love you she will understand.

If she doesn't understand then she was only dropping the L bomb as a form of control and manipulation.

I think she's under the impression that her "options" r bothering me. So she threw the Lword out there to help me keep her around. Her options don't bother me though. They prolly should, but I just don't mind the relief of pressure from keeping this freaky ass woman satisfied....

This woman is insatiable...I'm cool with 3-4 nights a week. Down time is welcome for me....go keep yourself occupied. I've expressed this but she dint believe me I think. Plus there's things I do that help keep her coming back but I'll save yall those details....I just know that love isn't an accurate adjective. I.also figure she know it isn't accurate...so I'm taking that into account as well...it seems more like reverse "spice" talk if anything.

Makes sense to me.

I wouldn't sweat her Lbomb then. Go with the flow and stay happy in your current state. Just be sure to let her know you are also happy in the situation you are in with her and that you like the way things are currently.

I think you already did that, but sometimes women tend to need reminders from their lovers to feel validated. They like the mushy convos about feelings and all. Just stay on "repeat" every couple of weeks or so for a bit. No Lbombs though. Just "I like us very much the way we are... feels good" sorta talk.

Thnx painted!

paintedlady said:

If she doesn't understand then she was only dropping the L bomb as a form of control and manipulation.

Wisdom!

imago said:

This has happenned to me a few times recently.

My situation is a bit strange though. Some of they 'I love you' are due to an inability to be more specific or nuanced due to not being native-English speakers. Asians lag far behind Europeans in English. A typical dutch, German, etc. who has learned English is able to express how they feel with less difficulty. And Asian, not so much.

Another issue is that I am not looking for love or a partner. And especially not with someone easily 17 to 20 years younger than me. I'm in ass utopia...just not looking for my inner penis to be satisfied...only my outer penis.

She's back again tonight....so she'll probably revisit this issue...

I've never really felt comfortable saying it first.

But I got the "I love you" for the first time several weeks ago and I rolled my eyes in return, I think I even shock my head no. I certainly didn't say it back even though I do love him...but my automatic reaction is always to think it's total bullshit.

It took a little time for me to say it back and he totally put up with my reaction of dismissing it for a while, but now we say it freely to each other all the time.

JustErin said:

Good for you. Sounds like you dont let the word own you like most women.

paintedlady said:

Hmm...

I have foolishly in the past said "I love you" to a guy 1st.

He told me... "Um, yeah... I don't feel the same way yet, it takes me a while to get there since I've been hurt and I don't like pressure."

I felt like a damn fool... I was hurt for a day and got over it because I was really happy he decided to be honest instead of bullshitting me along to not hurt my feelings.

Shit, I am a grown-up after all and honesty is what I should expect.

Since then I always allow a guy to drop the L bomb first no matter how I feel because that f-ing word brings too much drama if both parties are not on the same page.

So be honest with her, she will appreciate it in the long run, no need to coddle her like she's a four year old she will get over it and IF she really does love you she will understand.

If she doesn't understand then she was only dropping the L bomb as a form of control and manipulation.

You actually believed that statement? That "I've been hurt and I don't like pressure" response from a man is just as mendacious as one beguilingly saying "I love you" back.

WaterInYourBath said:

paintedlady said:

Hmm...

I have foolishly in the past said "I love you" to a guy 1st.

He told me... "Um, yeah... I don't feel the same way yet, it takes me a while to get there since I've been hurt and I don't like pressure."

I felt like a damn fool... I was hurt for a day and got over it because I was really happy he decided to be honest instead of bullshitting me along to not hurt my feelings.

Shit, I am a grown-up after all and honesty is what I should expect.

Since then I always allow a guy to drop the L bomb first no matter how I feel because that f-ing word brings too much drama if both parties are not on the same page.

So be honest with her, she will appreciate it in the long run, no need to coddle her like she's a four year old she will get over it and IF she really does love you she will understand.

If she doesn't understand then she was only dropping the L bomb as a form of control and manipulation.

You actually believed that statement? That "I've been hurt and I don't like pressure" response from a man is just as mendacious as one beguilingly saying "I love you" back.

You are absolutely right about that.

I was younger dumb and naive when this happened ... turns out the guy never did love me even when he eventually did tell so me so later on.

He was a liar and a constant manipulator. Took me years before I picked up on it.

When the realization finally sunk in that he only said "I love you" to get what he wanted I dropped him like a bad habit.

To this day he STILL tries to tell me he loves me, and I lovingly return the favor by telling him to f--- off.

You live and learn... I wish I would have learned sooner.

paintedlady said:

WaterInYourBath said:

You actually believed that statement? That "I've been hurt and I don't like pressure" response from a man is just as mendacious as one beguilingly saying "I love you" back.

You are absolutely right about that.

I was younger dumb and naive when this happened ... turns out the guy never did love me even when he eventually did tell so me so later on.

He was a liar and a constant manipulator. Took me years before I picked up on it.

When the realization finally sunk in that he only said "I love you" to get what he wanted I dropped him like a bad habit.

To this day he STILL tries to tell me he loves me, and I lovingly return the favor by telling him to f--- off.

You live and learn... I wish I would have learned sooner.

JustErin said:

I've never really felt comfortable saying it first.

But I got the "I love you" for the first time several weeks ago and I rolled my eyes in return, I think I even shock my head no. I certainly didn't say it back even though I do love him...but my automatic reaction is always to think it's total bullshit.

It took a little time for me to say it back and he totally put up with my reaction of dismissing it for a while, but now we say it freely to each other all the time.

You're welcome.

Oh, you are not talking to me?!

JustErin said:

I've never really felt comfortable saying it first.

But I got the "I love you" for the first time several weeks ago and I rolled my eyes in return, I think I even shock my head no. I certainly didn't say it back even though I do love him...but my automatic reaction is always to think it's total bullshit.

It took a little time for me to say it back and he totally put up with my reaction of dismissing it for a while, but now we say it freely to each other all the time.

Is this the militairy dude?

MacDaddy said:

Yeah...same dude.

JustErin said:

MacDaddy said:

Is this the militairy dude?

Yeah...same dude.

That's awesome!

I never said it until my vows on my wedding day. Funny on our honeymoon night he said he'd been waiting for forever for me to tell him, yet he never said it to me either until that day. But we both acknowledged when we first felt the love we had for each other around the same time. I guess I never relied on the words, I just go with the feelings.

Early on I've had dudes try to give me the okie-doke I love you bs and never bought into it. That I love you trap is a mess...

nammie said:

I never said it until my vows on my wedding day. Funny on our honeymoon night he said he'd been waiting for forever for me to tell him, yet he never said it to me either until that day. But we both acknowledged when we first felt the love we had for each other around the same time. I guess I never relied on the words, I just go with the feelings.

Early on I've had dudes try to give me the okie-doke I love you bs and never bought into it. That I love you trap is a mess...