It's not my place to tell him to go hell

Ottensen said:

johnart said:

I love how when a dude got kids you supposed to not mess with him, but single moms are worth making the time and effort to date.

I say if the dude seems too pushy (kids or no kids) then leave him be.

VERY good point!

I don't know if it's true, but it would almost appear that if you're a single dad you might as well have leprosy.

Even if the opinions on this thread are being given from a perspective of watching out for the kids, elsewhere I've heard folk be like "Kids?? Girl leave that man alone!" all too often.

paintedlady said:

johnart said:

Why? Is she a minor? Actually 17?

I took her handle to be the name of a Prince song.

If she's 17 then she should only date folk her age and the preacher is reachin in the wrong cookie jar. Nothing to do with him having kids.

I gave my desicion based on her attitudes and history on the org. I am ALL for single parents being great catches, men or women... this man being a single father is NOT the problem.

The deeper issue is WHY is this preacher single and fishing? Most preachers have a swarm of eager beavers clamoring for his attentions married or not.

Also, she seems to be attracted to drama-filled situations and feeds into it.

The latter being a VERY bad thing for dealing with other people's kids.

Thanks for clarifying.

johnart said:

Ottensen said:

VERY good point!

I don't know if it's true, but it would almost appear that if you're a single dad you might as well have leprosy.

Even if the opinions on this thread are being given from a perspective of watching out for the kids, elsewhere I've heard folk be like "Kids?? Girl leave that man alone!" all too often.

I think the main reason I was suspect of him was that he was asking about where I lived, where I worked, to the point of asking for my address repeatedly and also asking about how I make a living. The dude is pushy and it just makes me think he's more interested in having someone help him deal with those kids, rather than his interest in me as an individual....

SeventeenDayze said:

johnart said:

Even if the opinions on this thread are being given from a perspective of watching out for the kids, elsewhere I've heard folk be like "Kids?? Girl leave that man alone!" all too often.

I think the main reason I was suspect of him was that he was asking about where I lived, where I worked, to the point of asking for my address repeatedly and also asking about how I make a living. The dude is pushy and it just makes me think he's more interested in having someone help him deal with those kids, rather than his interest in me as an individual....

Have you ever heard of 'The law of Attraction'?

SeventeenDayze said:

LittleBLUECorvette said:

damn ... lol.

The dude just really passed off as controlling and tempermental. Also, I felt very weirded out about how dude was really trying to get my address. My first thought was that he was trying to get personal info about me in the beginning before showing just how bat shit crazy he probably really is. By then, it's too late and then you gotta hope he doesn't pop out of the bushes and whatnot.

Are there any normal dudes over 30 who just want a nice girl and no drama? The other day, I was walking down the street and saw (I counted) 5 black men. Two were gay, one was way older, one with a white girl, the other with an Asian girl.....do folks really wonder why we black women have attitudes sometimes?

*Sigh*

girl you love drama. stop lyin'.

why didn't you get a feel for this cat before you gave him your number?

what color is this one?

Vendetta1 said:

SeventeenDayze said:

The dude just really passed off as controlling and tempermental. Also, I felt very weirded out about how dude was really trying to get my address. My first thought was that he was trying to get personal info about me in the beginning before showing just how bat shit crazy he probably really is. By then, it's too late and then you gotta hope he doesn't pop out of the bushes and whatnot.

Are there any normal dudes over 30 who just want a nice girl and no drama? The other day, I was walking down the street and saw (I counted) 5 black men. Two were gay, one was way older, one with a white girl, the other with an Asian girl.....do folks really wonder why we black women have attitudes sometimes?

*Sigh*

girl you love drama. stop lyin'.

why didn't you get a feel for this cat before you gave him your number?

what color is this one?

What color is this one? Seems you were so eager to write a snarky comment that you didn't bother to pick up on the fact that I said this dude is BLACK

And why did someone ask me about the Law of Attraction? Do I detect sarcasm? LOL

I got another text from preacher man just now and told him that I'm not doing well because someone that I know is in crisis and was wondering if he could help. The person in crisis is the Nuyorican dude (who is also ordained minister but has fallen off completely). I ran into papi over th weekend on the subway. I saw him first and he looked really awful and had a six pack of beer with him, when he looked up and saw me I waved at him but he looked like holy hell. I hadn't seen him in about a month but I heard rumors of him drinking heavily and doing drugs now...I hope that the pushy preacher does the right thing and reaches out to the Rican dude....we'll see.

Seventeen, your threads are better than my stories. Hella entertaining.

I got no advice but...

SeventeenDayze said:

There's a preacher I know who is single with three kids that's trying to go out with me. He's 10 years older than me and seems to have a decent job. He seems pushy though....at one point he kept texting me asking me questions about what I did for a living and also asked me if I would give him my address. I didn't respond. Now, he's texting me saying he wants me to send him my resume because he'd like to hire me for some projects to work on....should I even bother? I really think I'm going to retire from the dating world completely!

Sounds like a pimp.

paintedlady said:

johnart said:

Why? Is she a minor? Actually 17?

I took her handle to be the name of a Prince song.

If she's 17 then she should only date folk her age and the preacher is reachin in the wrong cookie jar. Nothing to do with him having kids.

I gave my desicion based on her attitudes and history on the org. I am ALL for single parents being great catches, men or women... this man being a single father is NOT the problem.

The deeper issue is WHY is this preacher single and fishing? Most preachers have a swarm of eager beavers clamoring for his attentions married or not.

Also, she seems to be attracted to drama-filled situations and feeds into it.

The latter being a VERY bad thing for dealing with other people's kids.

SeventeenDayze said:

I got another text from preacher man just now and told him that I'm not doing well because someone that I know is in crisis and was wondering if he could help. The person in crisis is the Nuyorican dude (who is also ordained minister but has fallen off completely). I ran into papi over th weekend on the subway. I saw him first and he looked really awful and had a six pack of beer with him, when he looked up and saw me I waved at him but he looked like holy hell. I hadn't seen him in about a month but I heard rumors of him drinking heavily and doing drugs now...I hope that the pushy preacher does the right thing and reaches out to the Rican dude....we'll see.

Okay so one man who seems interested in you but you're not interested in, you want to get personally involved in the life of another man that you are interested in, but doesn't seem interested in you?

You don't see a theme here?

morningsong said:

SeventeenDayze said:

I got another text from preacher man just now and told him that I'm not doing well because someone that I know is in crisis and was wondering if he could help. The person in crisis is the Nuyorican dude (who is also ordained minister but has fallen off completely). I ran into papi over th weekend on the subway. I saw him first and he looked really awful and had a six pack of beer with him, when he looked up and saw me I waved at him but he looked like holy hell. I hadn't seen him in about a month but I heard rumors of him drinking heavily and doing drugs now...I hope that the pushy preacher does the right thing and reaches out to the Rican dude....we'll see.

Okay so one man who seems interested in you but you're not interested in, you want to get personally involved in the life of another man that you are interested in, but doesn't seem interested in you?

You don't see a theme here?

Sorry but I CANNOT keep up with THREE KIDS, I can barely tolerate my dog sometimes. And again, the dude seems pushy as hell. But hey, if he's a real minister, he'd be concerned for the other person regardless. So, I dunno, I'm single with a dog and enjoy quiet time. Dating a guy with three kids under the age 13 is not my idea of fun. Sorry!

AsherFierce said:

Seventeen, your threads are better than my stories. Hella entertaining.

I got no advice but...

LOL@ the popcorn

Trust me, I don't go looking for this stuff but it finds me!

SeventeenDayze said:

morningsong said:

Okay so one man who seems interested in you but you're not interested in, you want to get personally involved in the life of another man that you are interested in, but doesn't seem interested in you?

You don't see a theme here?

Sorry but I CANNOT keep up with THREE KIDS, I can barely tolerate my dog sometimes. And again, the dude seems pushy as hell. But hey, if he's a real minister, he'd be concerned for the other person regardless. So, I dunno, I'm single with a dog and enjoy quiet time. Dating a guy with three kids under the age 13 is not my idea of fun. Sorry!

Hey, I'm not knocking you for knowing your limitations, I know I couldn't be in that situation either. But I must say even Jesus didn't go around knocking on folks doors he didn't know meddling in their business, so why are you expecting it out of this guy just because he's a minister? Why are you still trying to find ways to bother this Nuyrican guy, he's left you alone now you're stalking him using anybody you can?

morningsong said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Sorry but I CANNOT keep up with THREE KIDS, I can barely tolerate my dog sometimes. And again, the dude seems pushy as hell. But hey, if he's a real minister, he'd be concerned for the other person regardless. So, I dunno, I'm single with a dog and enjoy quiet time. Dating a guy with three kids under the age 13 is not my idea of fun. Sorry!

Hey, I'm not knocking you for knowing your limitations, I know I couldn't be in that situation either. But I must say even Jesus didn't go around knocking on folks doors he didn't know meddling in their business, so why are you expecting it out of this guy just because he's a minister? Why are you still trying to find ways to bother this Nuyrican guy, he's left you alone now you're stalking him using anybody you can?

Ok, seems like you can't figure it out...basically, I just got the pushy minister off my back because he'll figure out that my mind is elsewhere. He probably won't respond and will probably get the hint that I don't wanna be bothered. Got it now, folks?

SeventeenDayze said:

morningsong said:

Hey, I'm not knocking you for knowing your limitations, I know I couldn't be in that situation either. But I must say even Jesus didn't go around knocking on folks doors he didn't know meddling in their business, so why are you expecting it out of this guy just because he's a minister? Why are you still trying to find ways to bother this Nuyrican guy, he's left you alone now you're stalking him using anybody you can?

Ok, seems like you can't figure it out...basically, I just got the pushy minister off my back because he'll figure out that my mind is elsewhere. He probably won't respond and will probably get the hint that I don't wanna be bothered. Got it now, folks?

That is, until you meet the town mayor.

MacDaddy said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Ok, seems like you can't figure it out...basically, I just got the pushy minister off my back because he'll figure out that my mind is elsewhere. He probably won't respond and will probably get the hint that I don't wanna be bothered. Got it now, folks?

That is, until you meet the town mayor.

Huh? The mayor?

SeventeenDayze said:

AsherFierce said:

Seventeen, your threads are better than my stories. Hella entertaining.

I got no advice but...

LOL@ the popcorn

Trust me, I don't go looking for this stuff but it finds me!

Hence MacDaddy's question about the law of attraction

Ottensen said:

SeventeenDayze said:

LOL@ the popcorn

Trust me, I don't go looking for this stuff but it finds me!

Hence MacDaddy's question about the law of attraction

Haha Otten, you just won't rest until you throw every stone at me, huh?

Naw but seriously, it seems like I attract these types of dudes for whatever reason. I think I will go back to ignoring papi Nuyorican dude for a while and then he'll wonder why I'm ignoring him and he'll start back up bugging me again. As far as the pushy preacher dude, hopefully he'll get the hint. I get the feeling he won't.

Again, what's with the remark about meeting the town mayor? LOL

SeventeenDayze said:

Ottensen said:

Hence MacDaddy's question about the law of attraction

Haha Otten, you just won't rest until you throw every stone at me, huh?

Naw but seriously, it seems like I attract these types of dudes for whatever reason. I think I will go back to ignoring papi Nuyorican dude for a while and then he'll wonder why I'm ignoring him and he'll start back up bugging me again. As far as the pushy preacher dude, hopefully he'll get the hint. I get the feeling he won't.

Again, what's with the remark about meeting the town mayor? LOL

Just a stab in the dark about the subject of your next thread.

MacDaddy said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Haha Otten, you just won't rest until you throw every stone at me, huh?

Naw but seriously, it seems like I attract these types of dudes for whatever reason. I think I will go back to ignoring papi Nuyorican dude for a while and then he'll wonder why I'm ignoring him and he'll start back up bugging me again. As far as the pushy preacher dude, hopefully he'll get the hint. I get the feeling he won't.

Again, what's with the remark about meeting the town mayor? LOL

Just a stab in the dark about the subject of your next thread.

Why do you even bother coming here?

MacDaddy said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Haha Otten, you just won't rest until you throw every stone at me, huh?

Naw but seriously, it seems like I attract these types of dudes for whatever reason. I think I will go back to ignoring papi Nuyorican dude for a while and then he'll wonder why I'm ignoring him and he'll start back up bugging me again. As far as the pushy preacher dude, hopefully he'll get the hint. I get the feeling he won't.

Again, what's with the remark about meeting the town mayor? LOL

Just a stab in the dark about the subject of your next thread.

You.are.killing.me.

Somebody get the producers and writers for The Young and the Restless and The Bold and the Beautiful up in here. I'm sure their ratings will fly through the roof if they used some of this stuff in their story lines. Carry on.

did you know dude had 3 kids before you gave him your number?

SeventeenDayze said:

Pomade said:

SeventeenDayze said:

I got another text from preacher man just now and told him that I'm not doing well because someone that I know is in crisis and was wondering if he could help. The person in crisis is the Nuyorican dude (who is also ordained minister but has fallen off completely). I ran into papi over th weekend on the subway. I saw him first and he looked really awful and had a six pack of beer with him, when he looked up and saw me I waved at him but he looked like holy hell. I hadn't seen him in about a month but I heard rumors of him drinking heavily and doing drugs now...I hope that the pushy preacher does the right thing and reaches out to the Rican dude....we'll see.

This sounds like a real breakthrough. At least it is for my writer friends, when they find a way to get two characters to meet in their short stories. Congrats!

You people who are being critical spend SOOOOOOOOOOO much of your time living life through others that you have forgotten that some of us actually DO live our lives! I suggest logging off the Org and start living your life, stop and smell the roses please.....

When he told me he had "a son" I was like oh ok. But, then I googled this guy and saw a news article written about him, he has THREE SONS. So, that was enough for me!

And since my text messages from earlier, he hasn't replied, mission accomplished.

SeventeenDayze said:

Ottensen said:

Hence MacDaddy's question about the law of attraction

Haha Otten, you just won't rest until you throw every stone at me, huh?

Naw but seriously, it seems like I attract these types of dudes for whatever reason. I think I will go back to ignoring papi Nuyorican dude for a while and then he'll wonder why I'm ignoring him and he'll start back up bugging me again. As far as the pushy preacher dude, hopefully he'll get the hint. I get the feeling he won't.

Again, what's with the remark about meeting the town mayor? LOL

My post is throwing stones? Have you read the rest of the posts here on the thread ?

Before we go any further let's be clear about something, Seventeen Dayze:

I am not not throwing stones at you, and I do. not. appreciate. your accusation.

You just said yourself, for the second time that you attract all this craziness and I simply pointed out what was meant by the phrase law of attraction. That's not throwing stones, dear. That's called illustrating a point. If you are not clear-headed or mature enough to discern the difference between the two, then that's on you. But what you are not going to do is try to shine negative light on me (or anyone else here) with your passive aggressive accusations disguised as asperssions cast my (or anyone else's) character. It ain't happening.

Now listen; we're all here, we're contributing, we're playing along. We're being entertained to pass the time, just like on every other thread in this forum. If you find that someone has a different opinion than you on the topic of your thread, then take it for what it is; just a different opinion. But then don't come here putting yourself on blast every week, posting in the form of asking for advice, then acting butt hurt and playing victim when you don't get the responses you crave, or those that validate your views and behaviors. That's not the way it works in the real world, and I dare say that given the general life experience and collective intelligence quotient of the people on this board, it ain't happening here, either.

This is the second time you've accused me of having an ill intention towards you. That's completely false (as it was the first time that I let it slide) and I'm going to ask you to please not do it again. It's unfair and it's immature. If you've really been lurking here for 10 years like you say you have, then I'm surprised that you don't know by now that I'm not particularly a willing candidate for that level of nonsense. However, what I can say to you today, so that you know without a doubt from this moment forward, is that I will not stand for it. Me, or anyone else questioning aspects of your saga is just partaking in the discussions, the discussions that you initiate and continually ask for advice, opinions, and viewpoints on. Nothing more, nothing less.

Okay, so we're good now, right?

*****************************

Now back to all these men: you're running away from son of of son of preacher man. Well, good! He sounds off, and you already have enough drama in your life.

Perhaps you should some time to do some research on what is means to be "evenly yoked". Knowing what it means to be "evenly yoked" in a relationship might help you understand why Preacher Man likely wasn't the best option for you anyway (in addition to his weird behaviors). If you are actually a person open to learning and maturing, then this kind of research might also clear your head about what you should be looking for in the future. Lord knows, hope springs eternal

But let me get this right: you're going to ignore Papi Nuyorican in his depressed drugged out state to get him to start bugging you again? Did I read that right? After the last 2, 3 , 4 threads this has been discussed from every perspective?

Okay, carry on.

Ottensen said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Haha Otten, you just won't rest until you throw every stone at me, huh?

Naw but seriously, it seems like I attract these types of dudes for whatever reason. I think I will go back to ignoring papi Nuyorican dude for a while and then he'll wonder why I'm ignoring him and he'll start back up bugging me again. As far as the pushy preacher dude, hopefully he'll get the hint. I get the feeling he won't.

Again, what's with the remark about meeting the town mayor? LOL

My post is throwing stones? Have you read the rest of the posts here on the thread ?

Before we go any further let's be clear about something, Seventeen Dayze:

I am not not throwing stones at you, and I do. not. appreciate. your accusation.

You just said yourself, for the second time that you attract all this craziness and I simply pointed out what was meant by the phrase law of attraction. That's not throwing stones, dear. That's called illustrating a point. If you are not clear-headed or mature enough to discern the difference between the two, then that's on you. But what you are not going to do is try to shine negative light on me (or anyone else here) with your passive aggressive accusations disguised as asperssions cast my (or anyone else's) character. It ain't happening.

Now listen; we're all here, we're contributing, we're playing along. We're being entertained to pass the time, just like on every other thread in this forum. If you find that someone has a different opinion than you on the topic of your thread, then take it for what it is; just a different opinion. But then don't come here putting yourself on blast every week, posting in the form of asking for advice, then acting butt hurt and playing victim when you don't get the responses you crave, or those that validate your views and behaviors. That's not the way it works in the real world, and I dare say that given the general life experience and collective intelligence quotient of the people on this board, it ain't happening here, either.

This is the second time you've accused me of having an ill intention towards you. That's completely false (as it was the first time that I let it slide) and I'm going to ask you to please not do it again. It's unfair and it's immature. If you've really been lurking here for 10 years like you say you have, then I'm surprised that you don't know by now that I'm not particularly a willing candidate for that level of nonsense. However, what I can say to you today, so that you know without a doubt from this moment forward, is that I will not stand for it. Me, or anyone else questioning aspects of your saga is just partaking in the discussions, the discussions that you initiate and continually ask for advice, opinions, and viewpoints on. Nothing more, nothing less.

Okay, so we're good now, right?

*****************************

Now back to all these men: you're running away from son of of son of preacher man. Well, good! He sounds off, and you already have enough drama in your life.

Perhaps you should some time to do some research on what is means to be "evenly yoked". Knowing what it means to be "evenly yoked" in a relationship might help you understand why Preacher Man likely wasn't the best option for you anyway (in addition to his weird behaviors). If you are actually a person open to learning and maturing, then this kind of research might also clear your head about what you should be looking for in the future. Lord knows, hope springs eternal

But let me get this right: you're going to ignore Papi Nuyorican in his depressed drugged out state to get him to start bugging you again? Did I read that right? After the last 2, 3 , 4 threads this has been discussed from every perspective?

Okay, carry on.

wow, thanks for the analysis of the situation, it was very thorough

Well, I am still worried about Papi Nuyorican and still text him/email him from time to time. When I first heard the rumors of his drinking/drug issue I wasn't sure what to believe. But, then I thought about his erratic behavior and it made sense. Then, actually running into him on the subway in the middle of the day with a six-pack of beer and he was looking really F'd up, so yeah I feel sorry for him. We all have our demons, so...

I mean I dunno, all his so-called friends basically laugh at him or they've dumped him now because he's of no use to them. It's a sad situation all around because just a few months ago these folks were his closest friends. Now that he's in crisis they all jump ship. Even though he hates me, I'm the only one that gives a damn about him and he's never bought me anything and i've never asked!