:confused:

This is so incredibly tacky, tasteless and beneath us as females. While a woman may try and steal your man, shouldn't you be angry at your man for being open to another woman's advances? Why fight her especially when there will be another chick like her in 5...4...3...2...1! I can't think of any other species where this occurs. It's usually the males fighting over females.

Men don't do this as much IMHO. They seem to want to kick their woman to the curb if she even thinks about riding other dick.

Converse.

i do not know why. i prefer men who are loyal so if they stray, it's okay with me when i see the last of them. not gonna chase after and fight for a person who would betray me.

because i'm THAT FUCKIN GOOD

but i do ask that they
PLEASE! STOP THE VIOLENCE...

HotGritz said:

:confused:

This is so incredibly tacky, tasteless and beneath us as females. While a woman may try and steal your man, shouldn't you be angry at your man for being open to another woman's advances? Why fight her especially when there will be another chick like her in 5...4...3...2...1! I can't think of any other species where this occurs. It's usually the males fighting over females.

Men don't do this as much IMHO. They seem to want to kick their woman to the curb if she even thinks about riding other dick.

Converse.

Only desperate women fight over men. And you are right, men don't really fight over women because for every one woman to fight over there's 10 more to fuck...so why bother? If women could only look at it in this way, there wouldn't be so much confusion....but most women believe that there's a "man shortage", therefore, trying to hold on tight to the one worthless asshole they got instead of letting his ass go and move on to the next one. Just my

[Edited 2/29/12 18:18pm]

Plenty of men fight over women.

Hell just last weekend I was at a bar and two guys went at it over one of the chicks that get men to buy them $20 beers.

A caller on a morning radio show recalled a past girlfriend who enjoyed going out with him, flirting with other men, then watching him get into fights over her. After a couple of times of this happening he put 2+2 together and dumped her.

I got myself all ready for a confrontation when the ex started with the affair...you get consumed with anger and bitterness and jealousy and (did I already mention?) ANGER.

Ultimately you have come to your senses and realize that you're getting all worked up and angry at the wrong person. It's the person cheating on you that you are really angry at, but your other emotions (and ego) cloud everything.

Humans are vile creatures.

Do you mean actually physically fight?

People are fucking stupid. thats why

Rococo said:

People are fucking stupid. thats why

Has nothing to do with gender. What is this, 1915?

People fight over people because they are possessive. They probably had something wrong with them as a child - not enough love, too much neglect, whatever. Never fixed the problem as adults and now they just think, "Gimme gimme gimme."

Spinlight said:

Has nothing to do with gender. What is this, 1915?

People fight over people because they are possessive. They probably had something wrong with them as a child - not enough love, too much neglect, whatever. Never fixed the problem as adults and now they just think, "Gimme gimme gimme."

Yeah, I'm gonna go with this as well.

I think immature people do that.

I also think its interesting when a man is caught cheating on a woman, that woman (girlfriend or wife) immediately attacks the other woman and not the guy. Maybe she feels like she can not kick her guy's ass?

I guess I can be a bit immature because I did catch a boyfriend with another girl at a train station (YEARS ago) . I was going home after a movie and there he was kissing her.

So my coat and earrings fell off and I went right after him. I was gonna beat his ass (I knew I could take him), he used her as a shield, literally! He stayed behind her and grabbed her arms so she couldn't move.

At first she thought I wanted to fight her, I laughed and told her that she wasn't my problem... he was. She immediately backed down. So I told him to let her go so I could beat his ass. He eventually pushed her into me and he ran out of the station. Leaving her... punk! He even leaped over the turnstyle and took off. He never came back, it was a Sunday and the trains ran slow, so I got on the last train home with the girl who was visibly trembling and scared I would hit her. I was with a friend and I told her that she had nothing to fear from me and my friend, but I did ask her questions about how/when they met and she even told me when and how many times they had sex (unprotected too).

... but yeah, I wanted to fight him for lying and disrespecting me... I didn't even care if I got my ass kicked by a guy. I wanted my satisfaction. I never got it by beating him up though... I eventually saw him weeks later, by then I was over my anger enough to tell him to go f- himself.

JustErin said:

Spinlight said:

Has nothing to do with gender. What is this, 1915?

People fight over people because they are possessive. They probably had something wrong with them as a child - not enough love, too much neglect, whatever. Never fixed the problem as adults and now they just think, "Gimme gimme gimme."

Yeah, I'm gonna go with this as well.

I honestly do not think it goes that deep... actually its silly to be so judgemental.

I think its just an issue of feeling disrespected and betrayed.

Anger and shock is a bad combo for some people. I've seen otherwise rational adults act like assholes in these situations... it is more of a loss of judgement propelled by "passion". Its the same reason why a husband unloading a gun on a dude humping his wife is called a "crime of passion".

paintedlady said:

JustErin said:

Yeah, I'm gonna go with this as well.

I honestly do not think it goes that deep... actually its silly to be so judgemental.

I think its just an issue of feeling disrespected and betrayed.

Anger and shock is a bad combo for some people. I've seen otherwise rational adults act like assholes in these situations... it is more of a loss of judgement propelled by "passion". Its the same reason why a husband unloading a gun on a dude humping his wife is called a "crime of passion".

I still say it's what spinlight said....but many people are so in denial about their upbringing that I'm not surprised that some try to rationalize and excuse their behaviour in every way but accepting that it's really just all about them and who they really are.

JustErin said:

paintedlady said:

I honestly do not think it goes that deep... actually its silly to be so judgemental.

I think its just an issue of feeling disrespected and betrayed.

Anger and shock is a bad combo for some people. I've seen otherwise rational adults act like assholes in these situations... it is more of a loss of judgement propelled by "passion". Its the same reason why a husband unloading a gun on a dude humping his wife is called a "crime of passion".

I still say it's what spinlight said....but many people are so in denial about their upbringing that I'm not surprised that some try to rationalize and excuse their behaviour in every way but accepting that it's really just all about them and who they really are.

Well... I've been in the situation. I was pissed and shocked.

Then I was surprised at my reaction about wanting to fight a guy.... I always hated fighting, only did it in defense.

It is totally an instinctual reaction... its not something thought out. Its actually surprising how you think a "thuggish" type dude will fly off the handle and he's a cool as a cucumber, and a nerdy type from a "good" home behave like a lunatic.

Its just too random to call... and then there's the "liquor" factor, and most of these fights happen in bars/clubs after having one to many so...

Drinking and fights tend to go hand in hand.

I've been pissed beyond belief many, MANY times (especially when I was hammered and out of control emotional) but I have never reacted in a physical manner, ever. I've never been in a fight in my entire life.

I may be fucked up in sooooo many other ways but responding in such a stupid, ridiculously immature way is not one of them.

JustErin said:

I've been pissed beyond belief many, MANY times (especially when I was hammered and out of control emotional) but I have never reacted in a physical manner, ever. I've never been in a fight in my entire life.

I may be fucked up in sooooo many other ways but responding in such a stupid, ridiculously immature way is not one of them.

I like your new "avatar" Justerin

kewlschool said:

JustErin said:

I've been pissed beyond belief many, MANY times (especially when I was hammered and out of control emotional) but I have never reacted in a physical manner, ever. I've never been in a fight in my entire life.

I may be fucked up in sooooo many other ways but responding in such a stupid, ridiculously immature way is not one of them.

I like your new "avatar" Justerin

Thanks.

I would think the primary reason women fight over a man is because when they see their man or a man they like with someone else, they feel their femininity is threatened. They hinge acceptance by this man as verification that they're attractive, desirable women. Their femininity is also tied with their emotions. If they truly have feelings for the man, that complicates matters further making them feel more threatened. And what's the most common thing people feel when they feel threatened? They're afraid. But instead of expressing fear, they express the secondary emotion of anger and hence lash out at that percieved threat. It doesn't solve the problem.

Men have different motives altogether. Their are more sexual in nature, also tied in with their egos.

JustErin said:

I've been pissed beyond belief many, MANY times (especially when I was hammered and out of control emotional) but I have never reacted in a physical manner, ever. I've never been in a fight in my entire life.

I may be fucked up in sooooo many other ways but responding in such a stupid, ridiculously immature way is not one of them.

Have you ever walked in on your guy kissing another girl?

The shock factor adds too this, this is why upbringing doesn't factor into it as much IMHO.

Some folks are raised right and still react in a physcal way. I think its something more young people do in general because immaturity is a factor, but to say that people who will strike another in the heat of a moment is due to upbringing... naw, its more of feeling betrayal/anger than anything else. Handling stress and emotions has more to do with maturity and I have seen grown people still behave in immature ways and young people act very wisely. So its a toss up.

I still don't understand why women fight eachother over a guy who is cheating on them though. That to me is idiotic. I can not understand a woman's anger at another woman who is lied to also.

paintedlady said:

JustErin said:

Yeah, I'm gonna go with this as well.

I honestly do not think it goes that deep... actually its silly to be so judgemental.

I think its just an issue of feeling disrespected and betrayed.

Anger and shock is a bad combo for some people. I've seen otherwise rational adults act like assholes in these situations... it is more of a loss of judgement propelled by "passion". Its the same reason why a husband unloading a gun on a dude humping his wife is called a "crime of passion".

I think it goes that deep.

You'll never catch me shoot somebody unless its the zombie apocalypse and I've got to blow some living corpse's head off. And even then, I'm more scared than I am angry/hurt.

Anyway, I'm still stickin' with the notion that people who do this are hung up by something in their past. I see too many people on a day to day basis run through lovers like water because they aren't fazed by someone else's stupidity. When someone stops to fight FOR someone else in the case of infidelity, something is immediately wrong with the people fighting. Nobody is worth that level of self-mutilation.

paintedlady said:

JustErin said:

I've been pissed beyond belief many, MANY times (especially when I was hammered and out of control emotional) but I have never reacted in a physical manner, ever. I've never been in a fight in my entire life.

I may be fucked up in sooooo many other ways but responding in such a stupid, ridiculously immature way is not one of them.

Have you ever walked in on your guy kissing another girl?

The shock factor adds too this, this is why upbringing doesn't factor into it as much IMHO.

Some folks are raised right and still react in a physcal way. I think its something more young people do in general because immaturity is a factor, but to say that people who will strike another in the heat of a moment is due to upbringing... naw, its more of feeling betrayal/anger than anything else. Handling stress and emotions has more to do with maturity and I have seen grown people still behave in immature ways and young people act very wisely. So its a toss up.

I still don't understand why women fight eachother over a guy who is cheating on them though. That to me is idiotic. I can not understand a woman's anger at another woman who is lied to also.

Dude, how about on my dude FUCKING my best friend.

Again, believe me that I have been through some major betrayal shit when it comes to relationships.

And I get what you're saying but I simply do not agree at all. I do not believe that people who are "raised right" respond in this way. I also do not agree that more young people do it than older folks. That shit runs rampant in every age bracket.

I actually totally understand why people go after the other person and not their partner. It's because there is no emotional ties to them so it's simply easier to blame them. I think it's utterly stupid and useless as well, but I do get why it happens.

Spinlight said:

paintedlady said:

I honestly do not think it goes that deep... actually its silly to be so judgemental.

I think its just an issue of feeling disrespected and betrayed.

Anger and shock is a bad combo for some people. I've seen otherwise rational adults act like assholes in these situations... it is more of a loss of judgement propelled by "passion". Its the same reason why a husband unloading a gun on a dude humping his wife is called a "crime of passion".

I think it goes that deep.

You'll never catch me shoot somebody unless its the zombie apocalypse and I've got to blow some living corpse's head off. And even then, I'm more scared than I am angry/hurt.

Anyway, I'm still stickin' with the notion that people who do this are hung up by something in their past. I see too many people on a day to day basis run through lovers like water because they aren't fazed by someone else's stupidity. When someone stops to fight FOR someone else in the case of infidelity, something is immediately wrong with the people fighting. Nobody is worth that level of self-mutilation.

Fights aren't that serious when it concerns girls though... is more about humiliating the other girl it seems with silly hair pulling.

Rarely do you see girls that can actually fight.

Now what you speak of is REAL throwing down... and guys who know they can beat up the dude easily usually are quick to fight but, back down FAST if they know they will get shot or beaten easily.

[Edited 2/29/12 22:05pm]

This must be an American thing.

I've never heard of women fighting over men here.

Some would argue that if you don't "fight" for your man/woman, then you're not really that serious about them. A true emotional connection would prompt strong emotions from you to emerge, and not just "walk away" when something "stupid" happens.

Doesn't mean that you have to shoot or beat someone up, but if that's how your personality deals with strong emotions, then that's what's going to come out. Has little to do with upbringing and more with personality.

Personally, I think that a fight between two women over a man is a waste of time.

...unless there's mud involved...

Because they have no semblance of self-respect. I wish I would... I can honetly say that I will never find myself in this position. Ain't a nuccah alive who would make me stoop so low.

PurpleJedi said:

Some would argue that if you don't "fight" for your man/woman, then you're not really that serious about them. A true emotional connection would prompt strong emotions from you to emerge, and not just "walk away" when something "stupid" happens.

That has nothing to do with violence. A true emotional connection would prompt you to come to a (hopefully) positive resolution with the person you are connected to, not go apeshit on someone you have no emotional connection with. If you truly love the person you are with it's not about fighting for them, it's about understanding what happened and getting through it, either together or separately.

Doesn't mean that you have to shoot or beat someone up, but if that's how your personality deals with strong emotions, then that's what's going to come out. Has little to do with upbringing and more with personality.

Dude, your personality is a direct reflection of your environment and upbringing.

Personally, I think that a fight between two women over a man is a waste of time.

novabrkr said:

This must be an American thing.

I've never heard of women fighting over men here.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a real life example of it.

I think I remember 1 girl fight all through high school and I don’t believe that was over a guy.

[Edited 3/1/12 11:27am]

paintedlady said:

JustErin said:

Yeah, I'm gonna go with this as well.

I honestly do not think it goes that deep... actually its silly to be so judgemental.

I think its just an issue of feeling disrespected and betrayed.

Anger and shock is a bad combo for some people. I've seen otherwise rational adults act like assholes in these situations... it is more of a loss of judgement propelled by "passion". Its the same reason why a husband unloading a gun on a dude humping his wife is called a "crime of passion".

Haven't you said many times that you had major problems with your mother and how she raised you?

JustErin said:

PurpleJedi said:

Some would argue that if you don't "fight" for your man/woman, then you're not really that serious about them. A true emotional connection would prompt strong emotions from you to emerge, and not just "walk away" when something "stupid" happens

That has nothing to do with violence. A true emotional connection would prompt you to come to a (hopefully) positive resolution with the person you are connected to, not go apeshit on someone you have no emotional connection with. If you truly love the person you are with it's not about fighting for them, it's about understanding what happened and getting through it, either together or separately.

OK...I'm not advocating violence btw - my point was that if you truly have strong feelings for that person who is being "taken" from you, then it's normal to respond with a strong emotional response. Not just "water under the bridge" as I think someone posted previously.

An emotional response from you will be different from one by me and different from one by any other person. We all have different tolerences and attitudes...which bring us to;

Doesn't mean that you have to shoot or beat someone up, but if that's how your personality deals with strong emotions, then that's what's going to come out. Has little to do with upbringing and more with personality.

Dude, your personality is a direct reflection of your environment and upbringing.

It is affected by your environment/upbringing, but you are born with inherent qualities that no one teaches you. It's scientifically proven that how a fetus develops can affect whether that child will be shy/introverted or outgoing/bold. I would have you meet my two sons...both raised in the same house, eating the same food, raised with the same principles...one is timid & prone to back away, the other is bold and prone to throw a punch. In fact, my eldest (the timid one) I begged/forced to go to Karate class and after a certain level he would have none of it. The little one I never took to any classes, but he learns moves from his friends.

It's not a direct reflection of their environment...it's in their DNA.

I wanted to burn someone's house down once over a guy but it wasn't so much as a he's mine and you can't have him, type of thing, it was more, I'm insulted and embarrassed that I let myself get dragged all the way up here for this ish, type of thing. Didn't do it though, found better things to do with my time til the feelings passed. I don't recall ever coming to blows over someone. I figure if someone needs me to come to blows over them just to prove my affection then that person has so many issues that I can't deal with and in the long run they wouldn't be a very good choice anyway cause it would always be a continuous game with them. Everytime they'd need to feel wanted they'd play all kinds of jealousy games through the entire relationship. Sounds emotionally exhausting.