Bruce J3nner is horrifying for me to look at.

He consistently tops the "Male celebrties that look like old lesbians" lists throughout the Internet.

But honestly, it would not be that difficult to clean him up a bit.

Here's what he looks like currently:

First, let me just say: Long hair is very difficult to pull off on a man. Very few men can wear long hair and get away with it. Bruce is not one of those few men.

And to make matters even worse, other than 1977/1978, when has this hairdo EVER been in style? When? like....never, yall. Never. Only Brad Pitt or David Beckham could pull this shit off. Possibly even Prince, but part of Prince's appeal is his ability to pull off the old lesbian aunt look.

What do I recommend?

1. Get rid of dye job. You aint' fooling nobody with that age. Sure, dying your hair can add a more youthful look--but there does come a tipping point when it just does not work anymore, and you end up looking sort of like a CGI mix between a Star Wars Jungen and Max Headrom.(sp?) Prince himself is skirting VERY close to that today as we speak.

2. Crop the hair closer. Don't wear it in feathery Charlie's angels waves.

3. Have a wave-flip to masculinate the face. Bruce, your face NEEDS butchiness.

You can go to a nice hair solon for about 80 bucks. 80 bucks, and you can totally improve your looks!

Now if we want to get more extreme, I would say thicken the lips a bit with injections.

Thicker lips make you look more approachable, and it takes years off of your appearance.

Also, let the brows grow a bit thick and wild. Though, I'm not sure if this is an option at your age.

Lastly, why oh why did you thin your nose? What was the point. Widen that shit again.

he scares me! why oh why did i click on this thread!

Now he looks like Kirk Douglas!

Genesia said:

Now he looks like Kirk Douglas!

I like the hair, but I feel he needs more face-lifts, extreme botox and every skin cream known to man, contacts to bring out the green in his eyes, straightening the bridge and widening the tip of his nose and nostrils, spray tan for that permanent glow, extra teeth whitening, and some blonde hair dye.

PurpleJedi said:

Genesia said:

Now he looks like Kirk Douglas!

I ain't wrong.

[img:$uid]http://hollywoodsilverscreen.com/images/kirk_douglas_sp01.jpg[/img:$uid]

Fauxie said:

I like the hair, but I feel he needs more face-lifts, extreme botox and every skin cream known to man, contacts to bring out the green in his eyes, straightening the bridge and widening the tip of his nose and nostrils, spray tan for that permanent glow, extra teeth whitening, and some blonde hair dye.

very impressive, but now he looks like a girl again.

imago said:

Fauxie said:

I like the hair, but I feel he needs more face-lifts, extreme botox and every skin cream known to man, contacts to bring out the green in his eyes, straightening the bridge and widening the tip of his nose and nostrils, spray tan for that permanent glow, extra teeth whitening, and some blonde hair dye.

very impressive, but now he looks like a girl again.

Oh, isn't that what makeovers are for?

Fauxie said:

imago said:

very impressive, but now he looks like a girl again.

Oh, isn't that what makeovers are for?

Haven't you seen Chastity Bono's makeover?

imago said:

Fauxie said:

Oh, isn't that what makeovers are for?

Haven't you seen Chastity Bono's makeover?

1. No.

2. Who is Chastity Bono?

Fauxie said:

imago said:

Haven't you seen Chastity Bono's makeover?

1. No.

2. Who is Chastity Bono?

Cher's transgender daughter-turned-son.

imago said:

Fauxie said:

1. No.

2. Who is Chastity Bono?

Cher's transgender daughter-turned-son.

Oh!

Fauxie give his chin a nice cleft!

@ this thread.

He needs sideburns, grey hair and facial hair.

ZombieKitten said:

Fauxie give his chin a nice cleft!

Like this?

nice! Now a gap between his teeth like Bryan Adams

Make him look like this!

Fauxie said:

ZombieKitten said:

Fauxie give his chin a nice cleft!

Like this?

...and he is NOW ready for hosting a new Queer Eye for the Straight Guy!

Move over Carson!

ZombieKitten said:

nice! Now a gap between his teeth like Bryan Adams

Something like this?

he looks OK now

ZombieKitten said:

he looks OK now

You don't think maybe he could use a soul patch?

bit smaller, and bit darker

ZombieKitten said:

bit smaller, and bit darker

x a lot

I don't know who the fuck this guy is now, but he ain't Bruce Jenner.

.

[Edited 9/21/11 22:49pm]

^^^^ I am never EVER going to stop laughing!!!

I mena, really. x 1,000,000,000

I think maybe all he needs is for me to stop looking at him

The sad thing is these guys actually look better than the real thing

Maybe we're thinking about it all wrong.

Perhaps, what Bruce needs is an Ethnic enhancement.

Perhaps, Bruce just needs to go "Korea style' complete with skin bleaching, Big-Eye contacts, and the ever-famous korea-style hairdo.

[Edited 9/22/11 4:20am]