paintedlady said:

IMO..............

Being "in love" = caring , interest for, trusting, and wanting this person because of how they make YOU feel. This is a selfish thing, when they stop making you feel good then its adios (infatustion).

real love = caring, wanting, trusting, and interest for a person DESPITE of how they make you feel. They can piss you off, dissapoint you, make you feel worn the hell out, but you still are there for them, no matter what.

This is the difference between the both to me. In most romantic relationships, it usually starts off with infatuation/attraction but it grows into real love if both parties are compatible.

Real love to me is measured by the relationships I keep with my family.

For instance my sister, we are opposites in every way. She doesn't understand me at all and we are always at odds with eachother. I still try to reach out to her and forgave many trespasses made against me and my children, all her bullying, all her constant insults. I still stay open and honest with her, and I remain protectful of her because others dislike her character and speak ill of her. So I would never be her friend, but I am her sister, I do and always will love her and protect her without reservation. Despite her flaws and how she makes me feel, I still love her.

This is the best way I can describe love vs. being "in love".

This. ^^^

DoesNotCompute said:

dseann said:

And where is all of this coming from?

[Edited 6/11/10 9:52am]

An attempt to convince myself it's only indigestion.

Yes they do and this is why so many people get hurt. Why do fools fall in love?

paintedlady said:

IMO..............

Being "in love" = caring , interest for, trusting, and wanting this person because of how they make YOU feel. This is a selfish thing, when they stop making you feel good then its adios (infatuation).

real love = caring, wanting, trusting, and interest for a person DESPITE of how they make you feel. They can piss you off, dissapoint you, make you feel worn the hell out, but you still are there for them, no matter what.

This is the difference between the both to me. In most romantic relationships, it usually starts off with infatuation/attraction but it grows into real love if both parties are compatible.

Real love to me is measured by the relationships I keep with my family.

For instance my sister, we are opposites in every way. She doesn't understand me at all and we are always at odds with eachother. I still try to reach out to her and forgave many trespasses made against me and my children, all her bullying, all her constant insults. I still stay open and honest with her, and I remain protectful of her because others dislike her character and speak ill of her. So I would never be her friend, but I am her sister, I do and always will love her and protect her without reservation. Despite her flaws and how she makes me feel, I still love her.

This is the best way I can describe love vs. being "in love".

[Edited 6/12/10 7:20am]

Being in love is when you care about a person and how they feel just looking out for them

respect them and not hurting them (if you can because we are human and in sometimes there are errors) You can talk to your mate you learn things from him and he learns things from you. Yes you have some things in comment when you in love but not everyone is the same. To express love is that you have to have a deep feeling which we come over in time. Some people can love immediately, but usually that is an infactuation. Sometimes God connect people together for varies reason some fight like i did . Why do people question love? Easy free and doesn't hurt anyone teaches. Love is forgiveness if you don't forgive you don't love . I think about this song "I learn to Respect the Power of Love". (GOD) tHEN THE MAN WILL APPEAR ....because only he knows the truth....

The only different is you can lay with you partner and you connect to each other physcially.

and thats is a very deep act the people take for granted.. Just think if you could connect physcially

mentally to that person.

Children /family are uncondtional my sister is on drugs and she doesn't see her children and it hurts because they are great children.

So basic it's under the same law: love forgivenss

And what people do to you it's them not you .. strength love

TD3 said:

"Love means, never having to say you're sorry".

That's my take...truthfully.

DoesNotCompute said:

LayzieKrayzie said:

Yes people really fall in love with a person. Falling in love with the idea of being in love, if that was the case, you'd probably fall in love with each male/female you became involved with. And it's a fact that not every person is in love with the one they are involved with. And I say involved because not all people start actual relationships.

I don't know, I knew a woman who claimed she was in love with every guy she ever dated. She had issues, but that's a whole different story.

I beleive you fall in love only once.There can only be one true love. In the event of a divorce,death,break up and you move on to someone else who may be more handsome/beautiful,may have better conversation,may have more in common,may treat you better. But usually you arent in love with that person it's just simply companionship

to answer the question I'll say yes it's possible but only once.

Fauxie said:

paintedlady said:

IMO..............

Being "in love" = caring , interest for, trusting, and wanting this person because of how they make YOU feel. This is a selfish thing, when they stop making you feel good then its adios (infatustion).

real love = caring, wanting, trusting, and interest for a person DESPITE of how they make you feel. They can piss you off, dissapoint you, make you feel worn the hell out, but you still are there for them, no matter what.

This is the difference between the both to me. In most romantic relationships, it usually starts off with infatuation/attraction but it grows into real love if both parties are compatible.

Real love to me is measured by the relationships I keep with my family.

For instance my sister, we are opposites in every way. She doesn't understand me at all and we are always at odds with eachother. I still try to reach out to her and forgave many trespasses made against me and my children, all her bullying, all her constant insults. I still stay open and honest with her, and I remain protectful of her because others dislike her character and speak ill of her. So I would never be her friend, but I am her sister, I do and always will love her and protect her without reservation. Despite her flaws and how she makes me feel, I still love her.

This is the best way I can describe love vs. being "in love".

This. ^^^

This is the closest to my own thinking on the subject.

I agree that "falling in love" in the sense that we generally use the phrase is more of a visceral reaction to and unchecked dependency on gratifying stimuli. You "fall in love" because the object of affection makes you feel good on some level.

Now, I don't think that's an altogether "bad" thing or a necessarily broken mode of love (though it can be)... nor is it mutually exclusive to a more active, mindful exercise of loving despite return on investment and perhaps, ultimately, even entirely beyond conditionality. But I do think the two phenomena are quite different.

One afterthought: I also don't think there is any love -- not even the Christian notion of agape -- that is entirely devoid of a certain service to self. But I think that as love becomes increasingly less conscious and immediately concerned about that service to self, it can become quite a different thing in tone, intent, praxis, outcome, etc.

[Edited 6/19/10 4:08am]

Genesia said:

No. They fall in love with the way certain people make them feel about themselves.

I have a theory about love of all kinds. I think the people we love are people who possess qualities we either possess and like in ourselves, or that we admire and wish we possessed. When you love a person who possesses qualities you admire, those qualities are conferred upon you by your association with them (or so you believe/hope).

This is spot-on. In my case anyway.