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Thread started 04/08/05 2:38am

Mazerati

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Post your favorite joke!

ok here's mine

these 3 men are sitting at the bar in a restaurant talking when one of the men says "ya know guys i've been told i have one of the biggest penis's around" and the other 2 guys go yea right let's see so the man wips out his penis and lays it on the bar and says "look at this!" the 2nd man looks at it and says "thats nothing! take a look at my penis!" and he lays his penis on the bar...the 3rd man says "man i got both of you guys beat! and he lays his penis on the bar next to the other penis's and says "see mine is the biggest!"

Meanwhile ASIANBOI walks into the Restaurant and a waiter asks "would you like a table sir?" and ASIANBOI goes no but I'LL HAVE THE BUFFET!!
Check it out ...Shiny Toy Guns R gonna blowup VERY soon and bring melody back to music..you heard it here 1st! http://www.myspacecomment...theone.mp3
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Reply #1 posted 04/08/05 3:09am

Lleena

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make me hmph!
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Reply #2 posted 04/08/05 4:07am

Lleena

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I have to go to a meeting, dont post any jokes till I get back.
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Reply #3 posted 04/08/05 4:09am

TheFrog

quick, everyone post jokes.
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Reply #4 posted 04/08/05 4:10am

TheFrog

Right - here's one. smile


So there's this young lady called Lleena, an Irishman and a Scotsman, and...

no, wait. confused
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Reply #5 posted 04/08/05 4:12am

TheFrog

Guy goes to the doctor and says,

"Doctor, i've come out in a terrible rash. sad It looks like someone's thrown strawberry jam all over my face."


Doctor says, "that's analogy."

neutral
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Reply #6 posted 04/08/05 4:13am

AsianBoi777

what did one tampon say to the other tampon?


Nothing. They where both stuck up cunts. rolleyes
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Reply #7 posted 04/08/05 4:16am

TheFrog

So there's a guy from the West Midlands, a guy from the East Midlands, and a Pig, all hopeful fathers-to-be standing outside the Maternity Ward.

smile

A doctor comes running out and says, "congratulations!! You are now all proud fathers!! Trouble is, i'm afraid we've mixed the little ones up." confused

The guy from the East Midlands marches straight into the Ward and picks up the little piglet.

"Oi! What are you doing?" asks Daddy Pig, "that is OBVIOUSLY my kid."

"I know," replied the guy from the East Midlands, "but i'm fucked if i'm risking ending up with the West Midlands kid."


smile

neutral
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Reply #8 posted 04/08/05 4:21am

TheFrog

What did McMeekle's wife's left leg, say to her right leg?





























Nothing - they've never met. neutral
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Reply #9 posted 04/08/05 4:24am

RocknRollisali
ve

TheFrog said:

So there's a guy from the West Midlands, a guy from the East Midlands, and a Pig, all hopeful fathers-to-be standing outside the Maternity Ward.

smile

A doctor comes running out and says, "congratulations!! You are now all proud fathers!! Trouble is, i'm afraid we've mixed the little ones up." confused

The guy from the East Midlands marches straight into the Ward and picks up the little piglet.

"Oi! What are you doing?" asks Daddy Pig, "that is OBVIOUSLY my kid."

"I know," replied the guy from the East Midlands, "but i'm fucked if i'm risking ending up with the West Midlands kid."


smile

neutral


clapping

And did you think of that all on your lickle own?
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Reply #10 posted 04/08/05 4:27am

BreddieMercury

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Vet given the sack writes revenge book: "All creatures grunt and smell".
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Reply #11 posted 04/08/05 4:29am

TheFrog

RocknRollisalive said:

TheFrog said:

So there's a guy from the West Midlands, a guy from the East Midlands, and a Pig, all hopeful fathers-to-be standing outside the Maternity Ward.

smile

A doctor comes running out and says, "congratulations!! You are now all proud fathers!! Trouble is, i'm afraid we've mixed the little ones up." confused

The guy from the East Midlands marches straight into the Ward and picks up the little piglet.

"Oi! What are you doing?" asks Daddy Pig, "that is OBVIOUSLY my kid."

"I know," replied the guy from the East Midlands, "but i'm fucked if i'm risking ending up with the West Midlands kid."


smile

neutral


clapping

And did you think of that all on your lickle own?


Something tells me you don't mean that clap. sad

And no, i didn't think of it m'self.

Cos i'm thick. smile
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Reply #12 posted 04/08/05 4:34am

RocknRollisali
ve

TheFrog said:

RocknRollisalive said:



clapping

And did you think of that all on your lickle own?


Something tells me you don't mean that clap. sad

And no, i didn't think of it m'self.

Cos i'm thick. smile



Actually, I meant the clap... nod Credit where credit's due I guess shrug
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Reply #13 posted 04/08/05 5:03am

PREDOMINANT

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Whats brown and sticky?
Happy is he who finds out the causes for things.Virgil (70-19 BC). Virgil was such a lying bastard!
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Reply #14 posted 04/08/05 5:18am

RocknRollDave

PREDOMINANT said:

Whats brown and sticky?





What's pink and fluffly?
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Reply #15 posted 04/08/05 5:20am

AsylumUtopia

RocknRollDave said:

PREDOMINANT said:

Whats brown and sticky?





What's pink and fluffly?

What's red and invisible ?
[Edited 4/8/05 5:21am]
Lemmy, Bowie, Prince, Leonard. RIP.
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Reply #16 posted 04/08/05 5:27am

TheFrog

what's green and annoying?
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Reply #17 posted 04/08/05 5:28am

REDFEATHERS

How do you make a cat go WOOF?






biggrin







Pour petrol over it and throw it in the fire!


evillol
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Reply #18 posted 04/08/05 5:29am

RocknRollDave

REDFEATHERS said:

How do you make a cat go WOOF?






biggrin







Pour petrol over it and throw it in the fire!


evillol





clapping


That's one of my faves too nod I HATE cats disbelief ..pass me that petrol....
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Reply #19 posted 04/08/05 5:30am

AsylumUtopia

How do you make a dog do metalwork ?

Give him a kick in the bollocks and he'll make a bolt for the door.
Lemmy, Bowie, Prince, Leonard. RIP.
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Reply #20 posted 04/08/05 5:46am

JDINTERACTIVE

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven until it's Bill Withers. smile

(my favourite joke)
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Reply #21 posted 04/08/05 5:53am

RocknRollDave

JDINTERACTIVE said:

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven until it's Bill Withers. smile

(my favourite joke)




I am feeling a strong sense of Deja Vu here.....
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Reply #22 posted 04/08/05 5:57am

Taureau

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"What's [insert skin tone here], wrinkly, and hangs out your trousers?"



























"Your mother."




cool
jerkoff.....drool BULLSEYE! cool
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Reply #23 posted 04/08/05 6:00am

JDINTERACTIVE

RocknRollDave said:

JDINTERACTIVE said:

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven until it's Bill Withers. smile

(my favourite joke)




I am feeling a strong sense of Deja Vu here.....


Yeah. Anyway...

What's the worst thing about rollerblading? Telling your parents you're gay.
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Reply #24 posted 04/08/05 6:56am

lollyp0p

How do you make a cat drink smile






































put it in the blender smile

poor pussy

sad


I can't type edit
[Edited 4/8/05 6:57am]
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Reply #25 posted 04/08/05 6:59am

ella731

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whats a fly without wings










a walk
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Reply #26 posted 04/08/05 7:32am

infinitetrio

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What did the zero say to the eight? - "Nice belt"
------------------------------------------------
if the music's good... all else will follow
------------------------------------------------
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Reply #27 posted 04/08/05 7:34am

TheFrog

so Lleena and a priest walk into a bar, and there's a 12-inch pianist playing on the bar. smile

And then...

oh wait. how does it go again? confused
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Reply #28 posted 04/08/05 7:38am

Taureau

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Harry Windsor was caught defiling a statue in Trafalga Square. The headline read...






















Prince rogers Nelson

neutral
jerkoff.....drool BULLSEYE! cool
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Reply #29 posted 04/08/05 7:39am

TheFrog

Taureau said:

Harry Windsor was caught defiling a statue in Trafalga Square. The headline read...






















Prince rogers Nelson

neutral


omg a prince-related joke!!

that's pretty good. lol

For a Taurean. neutral
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