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Thread started 06/10/16 4:05pm

FunkiestOne

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Prince's parents didn't want him...so wrong

I've learned even more from all these interviews and recollections of people who knew him, that Prince a very sensitive and somewhat shy person. I guess it was obvious from all his love songs, etc, but that could partially be skilled craftmanship and songwriting over true emotion. But of course he was super sensitive and a bit fragile due to being that way.

.

So I just keep thinking how his parents kicked him out and really didn't want him when he was just 12 or 13. That must have been beyond traumatic for him, given his basic nature. I know kids are resilient and he lived with the Andersons, but must have been a very painful time in his life. I can't imagine my parents doing that to me.

.

Somehow it just makes me love Prince even more, because I feel bad that such a beautiful person had to go through that. I wish we would have gotten his Autobiography...would have been just fascinating and touching.

[Edited 6/10/16 16:05pm]

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Reply #1 posted 06/10/16 4:19pm

journalism16

I read an article in Rolling Stone about his life in Minneapolis, the article was from September 1985, and when I read that about his parents, I was in tears!!! I can't imagine my parents doing that to me either. Hopefully, his memoirs will be released next year as planned, because I really want to read his story.
Erin Smith
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Reply #2 posted 06/10/16 5:12pm

Wannabeyourlov
er1

And that may be the reason he could not keep a relationship for long. He did not know how to let himself be loved. It just breaks my heart.
I WISH YOU LOVE, I WISH YOU HEAVEN SWEET PRINCE...
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Reply #3 posted 06/10/16 5:51pm

1contessa

I have never read that his parents didn't want him, and I don't think it was that way at all. I've read that as a young teen that Prince didn't get along with his step dad and that's why he didn't want to live with his mom, and that Prince dad had rules in which he didn't want to abide by, so that's why he had problems with his dad, but I never read anything of them "not wanting him". I've read that Prince wanted to live with Andre and his family, and that Andre's mom asked his mom if he could live with them, and obviously she must have said yes, because he did, but I don't think that she just "didn't want him". Prince loved both of his parents, and he took care of them, something I don't think he would have done, if he didn't love them and had they just threw him away. Everyone that is a parent that have lived through their teen's growing years, knows how difficult that part of life can be, trying to raise them, and Prince parents probably were no different. They probably just wanted what was best for him, and tried to raise him as best they could, like most of us do. And like most of us, they probably had problems, and made mistakes in doing so. I don't like blaming his parents for not wanting him, because we don't know that, and we don't know what went on between them. Prince loved his parents, and I'm sure that he would not want anyone to say anything bad about them.

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Reply #4 posted 06/10/16 5:55pm

BillieBalloon

Sadly I think that's partly where his ambition came from..his drive to succeed In my opinion. It's bitter sweet.
Baby, you're a star.

Meet me in another world, space and joy
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Reply #5 posted 06/10/16 6:03pm

Marrk

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It is weird seeing photos and footage of John L milking it in the mid 80's with his son. Barely 10 years later. Prince obviously did forgive them and loved them dearly, He said as much on his last tour. But yeah, it would have shaped his persona.

Yeah, we'll, we'll try to imagine what silence looks like.
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Reply #6 posted 06/10/16 6:45pm

mimi1956

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FunkiestOne said:

I've learned even more from all these interviews and recollections of people who knew him, that Prince a very sensitive and somewhat shy person. I guess it was obvious from all his love songs, etc, but that could partially be skilled craftmanship and songwriting over true emotion. But of course he was super sensitive and a bit fragile due to being that way.

.

So I just keep thinking how his parents kicked him out and really didn't want him when he was just 12 or 13. That must have been beyond traumatic for him, given his basic nature. I know kids are resilient and he lived with the Andersons, but must have been a very painful time in his life. I can't imagine my parents doing that to me.

.

Somehow it just makes me love Prince even more, because I feel bad that such a beautiful person had to go through that. I wish we would have gotten his Autobiography...would have been just fascinating and touching.

[Edited 6/10/16 16:05pm]

But if an interviewer said something about that he said it was what made him him. I guess if these things didn't happen he might not have been the man we love. Didn't make it right though.

admission is easy, just say U believe, then come 2 this place in your heart.
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Reply #7 posted 06/10/16 7:24pm

ciki44

I read in an article that he had 18 different addresses from 12 years old until he moved in with the Andersons. Apparently, he didn't get along with his Mother's new husband and went to live with his Dad who kicked him out after a short time for finding him in the bedroom with a girl. Prince begged him to let him come back but he said no. I guess his Mom didn't really want him back so he bounced around to homes of aunts/uncles and older siblings before landing at the Andersons. To me, this is truly heart breaking sad Prince was so intelligent and so incredibly talented. This situation had to have lasting effects (his purported control issues, his future relationships). But it may have given rise to his incredible drive to succeed. Still sad, tho 😟
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Reply #8 posted 06/10/16 8:40pm

luv4u

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Reply #9 posted 06/10/16 9:28pm

CROWNS1

I wonder if his parents ever realized as a young child just how exceptional P was? Doesn't appear that they did.

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Reply #10 posted 06/10/16 9:29pm

hardwork

Kicked outta my home at 17 (Live 4 love) (Get outta here!)
A real family, now what does that mean? (Live 4 love)
Don't nobody know the trouble I've seen! (Live 4 love) (Leave me alone!)
How can I live 4 love?

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Reply #11 posted 06/10/16 9:35pm

PeteSilas

lots of bad parents out there, it worked out for Prince, JB had an awful time too. those kinds of backgrounds create most of our street people, it's a credit to these men that they didn't go that way.

Prince.org: With fans like these he didn't need haters.
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Reply #12 posted 06/10/16 9:36pm

PeteSilas

Wannabeyourlover1 said:

And that may be the reason he could not keep a relationship for long. He did not know how to let himself be loved. It just breaks my heart.

i've heard that he'd start pushing people away if they got too close. I've heard it said that Duke Ellington was the same way, I've never heard anyone say they were truly close to Duke. Quincy Jones, for all his ability to charm and bullshit people, admits he was never able to get close to Duke as he was to Count Basie. It works for these guys, socializing takes too much time away from productivity.

Prince.org: With fans like these he didn't need haters.
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Reply #13 posted 06/10/16 9:50pm

mimi1956

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PeteSilas said:

Wannabeyourlover1 said:

And that may be the reason he could not keep a relationship for long. He did not know how to let himself be loved. It just breaks my heart.

i've heard that he'd start pushing people away if they got too close. I've heard it said that Duke Ellington was the same way, I've never heard anyone say they were truly close to Duke. Quincy Jones, for all his ability to charm and bullshit people, admits he was never able to get close to Duke as he was to Count Basie. It works for these guys, socializing takes too much time away from productivity.

Probably because the people he loved kicked him to the curb he didn't want to be hurt that way anymore so he walked before anybody else did. "Love 'em and leave 'em fast"

admission is easy, just say U believe, then come 2 this place in your heart.
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Reply #14 posted 06/10/16 10:13pm

CROWNS1

PeteSilas said:

lots of bad parents out there, it worked out for Prince, JB had an awful time too. those kinds of backgrounds create most of our street people, it's a credit to these men that they didn't go that way.

I've often thought that too. His mother didn't want him to play music, his father wouldn't let him play around him. Here was this genius kid who obviously go no encouragement from his parents to develop his skills....yet he did it anyway on his own. It's no wonder he was so fanatical about owning his own masters and policing the internets...he really truly worked for everything he got from the time he was a young kid. It's an amazing story really.

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Reply #15 posted 06/10/16 10:33pm

PeteSilas

to tell the truth, I believe most people build more walls around themselves the older they get, with Prince, he just started out that way.

Prince.org: With fans like these he didn't need haters.
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Reply #16 posted 06/10/16 11:08pm

MissMarySharon

There are so many complexities within human relationships. I think Prince idolised John L and a lot of his drive came from wanting to prove to his father that he could make it as a musician. He has said that his father was "very strict, but then so were most parents back then". I got the feeling he felt the "tough love" had provided him with the discipline and armour he needed to make it in the cutthroat music industry.

Perhaps Prince was just being a normal teenager, but the relationship with his mother had deteriorated at that stage to the degree that she felt they would both benefit from some breathing space and that's how he was allowed to go and live with the Andersons. I don't think this indicates that she didn't want him, more that she wanted the best for him, and perhaps this was the best solution. Later in life, I certainly got the feeling that Prince loved his parents and had nothing but respect for them.

[Edited 6/10/16 23:12pm]

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Reply #17 posted 06/10/16 11:31pm

purplethunder3
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MissMarySharon said:

There are so many complexities within human relationships. I think Prince idolised John L and a lot of his drive came from wanting to prove to his father that he could make it as a musician. He has said that his father was "very strict, but then so were most parents back then". I got the feeling he felt the "tough love" had provided him with the discipline and armour he needed to make it in the cutthroat music industry.

Perhaps Prince was just being a normal teenager, but the relationship with his mother had deteriorated at that stage to the degree that she felt they would both benefit from some breathing space and that's how he was allowed to go and live with the Andersons. I don't think this indicates that she didn't want him, more that she wanted the best for him, and perhaps this was the best solution. Later in life, I certainly got the feeling that Prince loved his parents and had nothing but respect for them.

[Edited 6/10/16 23:12pm]

yeahthat

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #18 posted 06/10/16 11:31pm

PeteSilas

MissMarySharon said:

There are so many complexities within human relationships. I think Prince idolised John L and a lot of his drive came from wanting to prove to his father that he could make it as a musician. He has said that his father was "very strict, but then so were most parents back then". I got the feeling he felt the "tough love" had provided him with the discipline and armour he needed to make it in the cutthroat music industry.

Perhaps Prince was just being a normal teenager, but the relationship with his mother had deteriorated at that stage to the degree that she felt they would both benefit from some breathing space and that's how he was allowed to go and live with the Andersons. I don't think this indicates that she didn't want him, more that she wanted the best for him, and perhaps this was the best solution. Later in life, I certainly got the feeling that Prince loved his parents and had nothing but respect for them.

[Edited 6/10/16 23:12pm]

strict is one thing, abandonement issues are another. Those are deep scars, I know, i lost my father at 9, you never really get over a thing like that at that age. Then, with Prince, his legendary control issues have been spoken on by armchair shrinks ever since he began his career, the logic was, because everything was so out of his control as a kid, he overcompensated by keeping everything in control. Most likely true, most people's lives can be summed up by a couple issues like that. It's hard not to be that way, i remember my ma on her deathbed at 59 and thinking how she never got past issues she had as a 3 year old, well, it's kind of an awakening when you see that because it just seems ridiculous to let something like that define your whole life. With Prince, it very well could have been that control issue that kept him from seeking help.

Prince.org: With fans like these he didn't need haters.
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Reply #19 posted 06/10/16 11:50pm

GirlBrother

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ciki44 said:

...went to live with his Dad who kicked him out after a short time for finding him in the bedroom with a girl. Prince begged him to let him come back but he said no.


That never made much sense to me.

John L. Nelson never struck me as a paragon of virtue. He later reentered Prince's life at the height of Prince's lewd lyricism, and sexualised imagery.

I always wondered if his father had found him fooling around with another man.

If Prince was bisexual to some degree and experienced that level of rejection from being so, it could explain much of his later art, beliefs, and lifestyle.
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Reply #20 posted 06/11/16 12:07am

sunset3121

purplethunder3121 said:

MissMarySharon said:

There are so many complexities within human relationships. I think Prince idolised John L and a lot of his drive came from wanting to prove to his father that he could make it as a musician. He has said that his father was "very strict, but then so were most parents back then". I got the feeling he felt the "tough love" had provided him with the discipline and armour he needed to make it in the cutthroat music industry.

Perhaps Prince was just being a normal teenager, but the relationship with his mother had deteriorated at that stage to the degree that she felt they would both benefit from some breathing space and that's how he was allowed to go and live with the Andersons. I don't think this indicates that she didn't want him, more that she wanted the best for him, and perhaps this was the best solution. Later in life, I certainly got the feeling that Prince loved his parents and had nothing but respect for them.

[Edited 6/10/16 23:12pm]

yeahthat

I think motherless child was saying something else about his mum. You can love your parents and yet recognise that they behaved badly (isn't that what all kids do - mine were pretty good but I still had a long list of grievances). I couldn't imagine giving up my teenagers to get some breathing space - and one of them is difficult. Even though things kick off often, we can be in the middle of a row and both of us catch each others eye and smile because we know we love each other and this is just a teenager breaking free (even though I can't see what there is to break free from - I am a very easy going parent, it is just the hormones out of control) .

[Edited 6/11/16 0:24am]

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Reply #21 posted 06/11/16 12:16am

rightbluecheek

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GirlBrother said:

ciki44 said:

...went to live with his Dad who kicked him out after a short time for finding him in the bedroom with a girl. Prince begged him to let him come back but he said no.


That never made much sense to me.

John L. Nelson never struck me as a paragon of virtue. He later reentered Prince's life at the height of Prince's lewd lyricism, and sexualised imagery.

I always wondered if his father had found him fooling around with another man.

If Prince was bisexual to some degree and experienced that level of rejection from being so, it could explain much of his later art, beliefs, and lifestyle.


That story never convinced me, either.
"No one plays the clarinet the way U play my heart"
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Reply #22 posted 06/11/16 12:26am

rightbluecheek

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I believe that, like anyone, P's life was shaped during his childhood. Every issue he had with feelings and relationships is due to the relationship he had/had not with his parents. Abandonment, to affect a child brain, isn't necessarily connected to the death of a parent or with being kicked out. Abandonment can be experienced also if you are an ignored child, meaning that your parents think more about themselves than about you. Usually ignored children have Narcisistic parents, and usually, they tend to become Narcisistic too. My 2 cents.
"No one plays the clarinet the way U play my heart"
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Reply #23 posted 06/11/16 12:35am

sunset3121

rightbluecheek said:

GirlBrother said:
That never made much sense to me. John L. Nelson never struck me as a paragon of virtue. He later reentered Prince's life at the height of Prince's lewd lyricism, and sexualised imagery. I always wondered if his father had found him fooling around with another man. If Prince was bisexual to some degree and experienced that level of rejection from being so, it could explain much of his later art, beliefs, and lifestyle.
That story never convinced me, either.

No, especially when his dad took him to the strip club and he said his mum left out porn for him pre puberty. His dad had also fathered Duane around the same time he fathered Prince.

Making Prince apologise and still not letting him return home is more than tough love.

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Reply #24 posted 06/11/16 1:33am

PeteSilas

who knows, i know with my ma, my grandma would use any excuse to kick her out or punish her and she spoiled my aunt. Sometimes there reallys isn't much reason but people do try to understand, they usually internalize the issues, meaning, if the parent abandons the kid, they think that it's them. As for Prince being caught with a guy? I doubt it, more than likely his dad was just a controlling asshole like many dads were back then. My parents were strict as hell, didn't let me cuss, but they'd cuss up a storm, like I say, not much rhyme or reason.

also, as for the dirty mags, prince lied a lot in those early interviews, I think that was probably a lie.

Prince.org: With fans like these he didn't need haters.
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Reply #25 posted 06/11/16 1:44am

FlexiTime

Awful lot of projecting going on on this thread.

Everyone makes the best decisions they think at the time. Why would anyone make a decision they thought was wrong? That applies to everyone, not just this situation.

We weren't his parents and we weren't P. No amount of overthinking this is going to change what already is.
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Reply #26 posted 06/11/16 1:52am

purplethunder3
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FlexiTime said:

Awful lot of projecting going on on this thread. Everyone makes the best decisions they think at the time. Why would anyone make a decision they thought was wrong? That applies to everyone, not just this situation. We weren't his parents and we weren't P. No amount of overthinking this is going to change what already is.

Yup.

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #27 posted 06/11/16 1:55am

PeteSilas

FlexiTime said:

Awful lot of projecting going on on this thread. Everyone makes the best decisions they think at the time. Why would anyone make a decision they thought was wrong? That applies to everyone, not just this situation. We weren't his parents and we weren't P. No amount of overthinking this is going to change what already is.

we don't know anything, we weren't there, but if a man kicked his kid out he sounds pretty guilty to me. Parents do things because they are fucked up sometimes, not because they want to do right or wrong. Prince had it bad and he made it work for him, thank god, the whole world benefitted. Arnold Schwarzenegger once said that well adjusted happy people don't really have the drive and hunger to do anything, he's right. The kids today are pretty coddled and entitled, couldn't see this era spawning a guy like a Prince, or a James or an Elvis.

Prince.org: With fans like these he didn't need haters.
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Reply #28 posted 06/11/16 2:23am

YaThink

Consider his genius.

If you've ever known someone with a mind as brilliant as his, you might come to the conclusion that HE might just have been too much to handle.

A rebel for his cause, he was on a mission to conquer the world and no authority was going to stand in his way.

There is so much misinformation out there, try not to judge harshly people you didn't know personally.
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Reply #29 posted 06/11/16 3:43am

PeteSilas

funny thing is, he was never that out of the ordinary and was pretty much one of the guys at that age, i don't think anyone thought of him as wierd or a genius in those days. Shy might have been something that was heard a lot but that's not unusual. No one calls Prince a problem child, not once have I heard that. the times he was kicked out was because his dad caught him with a girl and he told everyone that nothing was happening, and then, his mother had another man who was also pretty strict and controlling so Prince left there. The scars ran deep, he spoke honestly about it in the 85 RS interview, saying how he'd sit outside of McDonalds and smell the food, he begged his dad to come back. Let's face it, it does happen, people sometimes treat their own flesh and blood worse than anyone else. It happened then and it still happens, kids end up out on the streets with nowhere to go and all the worst elements of society prey upon that. Thank god for music and Bernadette Anderson.

Prince.org: With fans like these he didn't need haters.
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