link to part one: http://www.prince.org/msg/7/215147

Prince listens intendly as Shelby explains the fine art of cow tipping.

Shelby, "It's impossible for one person to tip an average 1250 pound cow, it takes a least two people to have the 600 pounds of pushing force needed to topple a sleeping cow. Cows sleep standing up you know. It's best to sneak up silently from behind and ...."

Prince interrupts, "Ok so you saying one of God's creature's is just standing in a field having cow dreams, and just out of your boredom you push it over?

Shelby, "Yeah man! Teach a hefer that it can't wind up all unhealthy at Mickey D's and think I ain't going to get in to it's face!"

Prince, "Well when you put it that way....We'll do it after dinner!"

Shelby invited all the guest to come about sevenish. Prince and Shelby finish cooking after arguing over the best way to season collard greens without meat.

"Tofu"

"African Spices"

"That stuff makes me reach for my rolaids!"

"Tofu turns to green slime in collards!"

"Well, what are we going to do?"

Unexpectedly, there was a knock at the door, and in walks the best Soul Food Chef they know. It was no other than....
[Edited 3/23/07 21:01pm]

Chef from South Park.

He starts singing "suck on my chocolate salty balls"

Prince, "My brotha, please stop singing, I want to have a party , whaddya say ?"

Shelby , "

Shelby, "I want something out of this world!"

The Chef, " Ya do purity lady? Let me show ya this." From his pants he pulls out a glowing plant with spiked leafs and says, "This here fell from the sky and everything you cook with it is F***ING FANTASTIC!" Then threw into the pot of collards.

Prince "That smells.....wonderful **slurp** I't F***ING FANTASTIC"

Shelby tries some next, and her face is soon covered with green strands.

Both Prince and Shelby start to glow.

"Oh Yeah", explains The Chef, "There is a side effect I forgot to tell you about...

"....see, look down at your fingers. They look bigger than normal?"

Prince: "Nah."

Shelby: "Nope."

Chef: "There's the side effect. You can't even see that your fingers are bigger than normal."

Prince: "What?"

Shelby: "Is our fingers being bigger than normal also a side effect?"

Chef: "Nope."

Prince: "So why are they bigger than normal then?"

Chef: "How the fuck should I know? They're your fingers, you tell me."

Prince: "You arrogant motherfucker. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to take this pot and I'm gonna..."

theghostoftonym said:

make you some top ramen. is oriental flavor okay? i ran out of chicken flvr.

chef:thats cool you need some help?

prince:no why?

chef:cause u might trip over those big ass fingers...

prince: "looking at chef like when apollonia wanted to join morris' band....
.
.
[Edited 3/25/07 3:15am]

Christopher said:

Prince: hey its wearing off ..

Shelby:PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY

Prince:shelby shut yo ass up girl!, ok we`ll have a party, imma call up whitney

Shelby & chef : NO!

Prince : why not ?

Shelby : ..

Shelby: Whitney has been feeling a bit under the weather since...

RUHip2TheJive said:

she she found bobby got to keep the george forman grill in the settlement. "I loved that grill dude!" sighed a down whitney. suddenly the phone rings and its prince

prince:hello whitney.....we're throwin a big bash ova here we got cheetos and budlight and everything.why dont u come thru?

whitney: aww shit lemme shower and put on one of my freak'um dresses and ill be there in an 1hr!

prince:we cant wait

chef: damn you why did you invite her? now.....

I got to getting clean and dress up! I got to pratice all my New Edition dance steps!"

Chef began doing the Can You Stand the Rain routine, "Sunny days, everbody loves them, but can you.....

Prince: "Yo Chef! You got cooking to do first then you can mac!"

Prince left the kitchen, and whipped out his purple address book and cell phone. "Let's see who else I can invite." Running is finger across the names, he stops on .....

he stops on Nicole from PussyCat Dolls

Prince calls her up and ..

I'm not so sure about this thread.

"What thread?" Prince asks

"The thread in my top. I think if I pull it my top will fall off.....Hello? Prince are you there?" Nicole banged her phone, "PRINCE?!"

Nicole's door bell rang.
She opened the door,
***YANK***
Prince pulled her thread.

"Well....

...she decides to return the favor by pulling his,
and doesn't stop until
Prince ends up stickyfying her thread.

Nicole sighs satisfactorily,
& says," Wow....besides being a musical genius, dancer, & R&RHOF inductee,,
you're also a "moderator"."

Prince responds....

Now that's out of the way, how about coming to a little dinner party at my place?"

"3121!! I may never leave!", said Nicole hopping up and down .

Prince: "I'll teach you how to housequake after we go cow tipping."

Nicole confused: "Cooow Tipping?"

Prince: "Here I'll draw you a diagram":




Prince explains the physics of cow tipping as Nicole's eyes glaze over.
Nicole's brain over loads and she collapses.

Prince: "NICOLE!!"
Prince trys for several minutes to revive her, and decides to load her into the car, then stop and pick up Johnny Depp, Whitney Houston, and Christina Aguilera on the way home.

Prince has another idea to make this party great....

Starting with disposing of Nicole's dead body before rigor mortis sets in and the rest of the celebrities catch on. Maybe a few more minutes of revival attempt was needed??
The concept that Prince actually knew ANYTHING about physics would cause one a cardiac arrest. Back to the party plan.....something he's better at.
[Edited 3/26/07 21:17pm]

umm cut to prince dressing up in vanity and apollonia's old outfits and singing sex shooter in front of the mirror.hes having a AIM conversation with MR.T they both share a love of vintage boots and baked good recipes. just then prince turns on his webcam.....

Christopher said:

and does the hokey pokey!

Prince sings the song to himself and dances around in his room...

You put your back end in, you put your back end out, you put your back end in and then you shake it all about...



The phone rings. Prince answers it...

Prince: Hello? Who is this?

Voice: It's me - Larry (King).

Prince: Oh, hey Larry - How's it going?

Larry: Everything is fine, thanks - Hey Prince, do you think I could come to one of your parties? Nancy Grace was telling me how she got wasted the other night at your house. She says that's why she's always saying people are guilty of the crimes their accused of way before the trial begins. I was thinking that, if I could get wasted like she does, I could be mean on my show (without caring) and improve the ratings for my show. So, could I come to one of your parties...?

Prince, just a little confused, thinks about what Larry said. His reply is...
[Edited 3/27/07 12:27pm]

RUHip2TheJive said:

Well you know if your ratings improve, I'm going to want a percentage of the profits and full credit. I'll have my attorney draw up the contract.
(after the ink's dry)
Prince thinks to himself: I'm going to plan one hell of a party, starting with...

Sanjaya.
Prince chuckles to himself, then crackles and rolls on the floor.
But seriously, I would love to showcase some new talent. Perhaps Jennifer Hudson is free? I'll check.
Before he could however....

Nicole was revived and showed up at his door.

"Hello Prince"

Prince: "oh...uhmm....hullo."
Nicole:....

Why was I in your trunk? How the heck did I get here?"

Prince: We were...uh...playing a game! Called ummm...secret celebrity peek-a-boo. PEAK-A-BOO!

Nicole: "You know Prince all the Pussycat Dolls warned me about you. They say your just an weird old guy with fantastic talent, I quess they're right. SEE YA!"

Prince: "No don't go!" Prince reaches for her arm, she flings it away from him knocking a picture from the wall."

Nicole: "What is this?"

She had revealed a button on the wall. Before Prince can stop her, she presses it....

and other female emerges.

Nicole :what the hell is this ?omg is that vanity ? is that where she been ?

Vanity : prince!you bastard ! im starved! and you havent brought me food! i feel like the lil kids from Flowers In The Attic!!

Prince : shit. um Nicole meet Vanity

Nicole : I know who this bitch is

Vanity ; Bitch! ? you know what :slaps nicole:

Nicole: oh hell no! :slaps vanity:


Prince pulls out a camera ..

Prince starts recording like no 2morrow. The girls r fighting and pulling and scratching at each other until all of their clothes r ripped and on the floor,they r in their lingere. Prince stops them in their tracks, Prince:I want 2 make a movie starring the 2 of u. Vanity:What kind of movie prince? Prince:It's a love story, we r going 2 need Ike Turner 4 this one. Prince calls up Ike, his voicemail comes on and says this is Ike if u don't have any new material that i can put on my next album then don't fucking call me Anna Mae, sing the song like i told u 2 dammit what what u said yeah that's right u wrote the song so u wrote the song and u can't even rememeber the damn words shit "click" Prince hears a dial tone. Nicole:What happened? Prince:He didn't answer so i guess when u want something done right...Nicole&Vanity says:U have 2 do it urself. They both questioned Prince on what he would do Prince:I have an Ike costume right in my closet if u ladies don't mind i'll only b a minute.He came out in his costume and then...



[Edited 3/27/07 20:44pm]

KidaDynamite said:

/


nicole and vanity are stunned! now ladies.....remember im ike right not prince so please dont refer to me as prince...only ike " says a weird prince.

okay i need u two girls too "Jello? Did somebody say Jello? Child I love Jello!" Patti interrupted.

prince:

Patti: "OMG! It's Ike Turner!"

Patti takes off her shoe and starts beating Ike (Prince) with it.
"Going to hit Tina huh! Here's a hit for ya!"

Ike: "OUCH! PATTI STOP! LOOK IT'S ME PRINCE!!"

Patti: " OH! Sorry baby! I heard ya having dinner tonight got any jello?"

Vanity: "I want some jello, and a sandwich, and some mac 'n cheese, and ..."

Prince: "Kitchen"

Prince notices that Nicole has just gotten off her cell phone.

Nicole: "My Girls from the Pussycat Dolls will be here soon. They'll protect me from your madness."

Prince: "Madness! Madness! I atleast, I say atleast-ha I don't have a reality tv show! Atlease I don't have dance like a stripper to sell albums! Atleast I can grasp the physics of cow tipping! I can find another like you anywhere!"

"You tell her Prince!", Prince and Nicole looked and saw someone had joined them it was Eddie Griffin.

"Yo Bro! Can I borrow your car?" asked Eddie.

Prince replied...
[Edited 3/28/07 7:03am]

Prince: Hell nah yu gots to get ya own!

Nicole:Prince, are we gonna do it or what ?

Vanity : I thought WE were doing it

Prince:Vanity you need a shower

Nicole:yeah when i was fighting you, you stank!

Eddie: Ill clean ya!

Vanity :

"Well, I like to bathe in Prince's waterfall by the rainbow tree. That's why I stay around."

"Waterfall and rainbow tree?? " the others ask

Prince: "Darn you Vanity! That's a secret! Well I guess you all can see it now."

Just as Prince was leading he's quest Christina Agruellia, Johnny Depp, Whitney Houston, and the Pussycat Dolls joined the group. They went to....