Deadflow3r said:

DesireeNevermind said:

Sometimes....when I push a person's buttons, it means I care enough to help them get off the elevator of monotony and small mindedness.

Sometimes....when I'm reading the newspaper in public, it means I'm just trying to avoid engaging in meaningless conversation with random dumbasses.

Sometimes....my daydreams are mid-day nightmares.

Sometimes....I think about HIM.

oooooh for more info on "HIM" check out the "welcome back Desiree" thread

Lord you are too much. U

Love you too Dez,

Daughter is with me and wants me to use this emicon I have no reason to but I did. Got a haircut like Victoria Principals - now not in the past. Wedding on Sunday, can't wait.

Deadflow3r said:

Love you too Dez,

Daughter is with me and wants me to use this emicon I have no reason to but I did. Got a haircut like Victoria Principals - now not in the past. Wedding on Sunday, can't wait.

it's going to be a beautiful day.

I'm bored beyond belief, and sadly, it's becoming the norm in my life. I'm pretty good at thinking of ways to entertain those around me, but not so good at thinking of ways to entertain myself, which has never really been the case until recent years.

FauxReal said:

I'm bored beyond belief, and sadly, it's becoming the norm in my life. I'm pretty good at thinking of ways to entertain those around me, but not so good at thinking of ways to entertain myself, which has never really been the case until recent years.

Sounds like you need a new hobby.

How about drunken tai chi?

I bought a tv for my bedroom at Aldi

it's awesome!!

HDMI ins, so we can plug in the laptop and watch porn all night long from bed

As I might have mentioned here before I've had a HUGE crush on a certain girl since spring, which has of course faded since she just wants to be friends with me and my recovery from that has been slow.

But on the bright side, she has inspired directly two song lyrics, written by me in English, that one of my female friends has used for her songs as a solo artist. So I guess there's always a silver lining somewhere.

[Edited 8/28/10 11:41am]

ZombieKitten said:

I bought a tv for my bedroom at Aldi

it's awesome!!

HDMI ins, so we can plug in the laptop and watch porn all night long from bed

This could be fauxreal's answer for how to entertain himself!!!!! Honestly Zombie, do you really watch that much porn???? Something tells me that out of the two of you, your worse than your husband is!!

Deadflow3r said:

FauxReal said:

Deadflow3r said:

This could be fauxreal's answer for how to entertain himself!!!!! Honestly Zombie, do you really watch that much porn???? Something tells me that out of the two of you, your worse than your husband is!!

Nah, don't like porn enough to make it a full-fledged hobby. Might go skydiving in 3 weeks though.

Given that someone has to fly the plane while you jump out of it I am hoping that this will not be something you try and do by yourself!

Wedding tomorrow!!!! Hope I have fun .

Deadflow3r said:

Deadflow3r said:

ZombieKitten said:

I bought a tv for my bedroom at Aldi

it's awesome!!

HDMI ins, so we can plug in the laptop and watch porn all night long from bed

This could be fauxreal's answer for how to entertain himself!!!!! Honestly Zombie, do you really watch that much porn???? Something tells me that out of the two of you, your worse than your husband is!!

I watch it a fair bit to be honest I doubt the master has the time. I once found a bunch of vids he'd downloaded onto my harddrive, but that is the only evidence I have that he has ever looked at it without me present - not that I could care less

I'm still recovering from that vid of the chimp raping the frog. I think that poor critter died a horrible death. Nature is a foul ass mofo.

DesireeNevermind said:

I'm still recovering from that vid of the chimp raping the frog. I think that poor critter died a horrible death. Nature is a foul ass mofo.

I hated that too...but it was sickly fascinating...one of those things that you'd see on national geographic that makes you ill but you can't change the channel.

connorhawke said:

DesireeNevermind said:

I'm still recovering from that vid of the chimp raping the frog. I think that poor critter died a horrible death. Nature is a foul ass mofo.

I hated that too...but it was sickly fascinating...one of those things that you'd see on national geographic that makes you ill but you can't change the channel.

there's another vid with close ups. the chimp's dick looked like a carrot.

4eva traumatized!!

connorhawke said:

DesireeNevermind said:

I'm still recovering from that vid of the chimp raping the frog. I think that poor critter died a horrible death. Nature is a foul ass mofo.

I hated that too...but it was sickly fascinating...one of those things that you'd see on national geographic that makes you ill but you can't change the channel.

I have not seen this and it seems like it would give me nightmares . Is it on youtube? I guess it just proves that chimps are more like humans then we thought; willing to go to other species if needed to relieve that hotness.

Why do family courts not somehow ensure that custodial parents are seeking gainful employment?

I ask because today my ex went to apply for state assistance (medical care and food stamps). She told them I have a new job and they told her that I need to call and give my new job info. Now, I thought they had this seeing as how within a few weeks of me working there, they had sent my employer a notice of wage garnishment for child support (a point that pisses me off, but I will get to that in a minute). So I go online and enter some info in a state child support calculator. The amount they calculate I would pay per month is double what I pay now. My new pay...not nearly double what it was. In fact, with a higher tax bracket now (they don't care about that, it's based on gross income), I take home like $800 more a month than I used to. Not a huge leap.

So my ex has been making what she previously got in terms of child support work for a month. Now she'll get double. Where's her motivation to actually work and provide for our daughter? How long does she get to stay unemployed? So since she gets a nice increase in child support, at this point, it is pretty much more profitable for her to remain unemployed, because if she suddenly trips, stumbles, and falls into a 40-hour work week, she might lose her state assistance and she'd get less child support since both incomes are taken into account.

I mean if I were unemployed and didn't provide, I'm pretty sure I would possibly have to fight to stay out of jail and of course, I get the label "deadbeat dad". Does being the custodial parent preclude one from being a deadbeat? It shouldn't.

And apparently they might back-date this thing and say I owe the diference for the previous 3-4 months. And my ex goes about telling me this like it pains her to break the news, but at the same time she seems completely comfortable with the idea of collecting however much they might say she is owed. Normally I would agree. If someone hasn't paid whatever the court ordered amount is, they should be forced to pay. But since January my daughter AND her mom lived in my house! I'd understand if her mom lived elsewhere and she had to maintain a residence for our daughter to come back to. But she didn't have a fucking residence to maintain!? AND she was still getting the previous amount of child support every month while she lived with me. So I get to pay for the privilege of feeding her and providing her a place to live (my ex, of course, not my daughter). She wasn't employed the whole time so I covered 100% of everything.

So she and my daughter currently live in a studio apartment with my unemployed former mother-in-law (who openly degrades my ex in front of my child whenever they argue, which is regularly), as if a studio apartment didn't suck enough for my daughter. I'm sure they'll upgrade to a 2-bedroom where my ex's mom gets her own room and my daughter is forced to share. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Honestly, I think the custodial parent should be forced to provide proof that they are seeking employment. If they are not (and I mean more than filling out an application or two) and the non-custodial parent is still providing 100% or more of what they are required, I think the state should either A) lower the amount ordered (though I see the issue with this not being in the best interest of the child) or B) award custody to the parent that is more financially stable, provided there aren't some other extenuating circumstances that would make it a danger to the child. God forbid I die tomorrow. They'd be screwed because nobody wants to get off their ass and work a real job. I say they because I figure if her mom is gonna live with her, she should provide in some way. Otherwise, I am basically caring for her too and she is essentially taking food out my daughter's mouth just by being there.

I guess I'm done ranting for now.

Edit: I almost forgot...wage garnishment. It pisses me off because it was ordered at the divorce decree though I had never missed a single payment and always provided far more than was decided with our separation agreement at the time. But for her to get state assistance which she would qualify for simply by having a child (she doesn't meet any of the disability criteria or anything like that) the money must go through the child support office. So wage garnishment, from what I understand, does not exactly help your credit. Basically, my credit gets to die a slow death so she can get medical for free.

[Edited 9/7/10 21:55pm]

FauxReal said:

Why do family courts not somehow ensure that custodial parents are seeking gainful employment?

I ask because today my ex went to apply for state assistance (medical care and food stamps). She told them I have a new job and they told her that I need to call and give my new job info. Now, I thought they had this seeing as how within a few weeks of me working there, they had sent my employer a notice of wage garnishment for child support (a point that pisses me off, but I will get to that in a minute). So I go online and enter some info in a state child support calculator. The amount they calculate I would pay per month is double what I pay now. My new pay...not nearly double what it was. In fact, with a higher tax bracket now (they don't care about that, it's based on gross income), I take home like $800 more a month than I used to. Not a huge leap.

So my ex has been making what she previously got in terms of child support work for a month. Now she'll get double. Where's her motivation to actually work and provide for our daughter? How long does she get to stay unemployed? So since she gets a nice increase in child support, at this point, it is pretty much more profitable for her to remain unemployed, because if she suddenly trips, stumbles, and falls into a 40-hour work week, she might lose her state assistance and she'd get less child support since both incomes are taken into account.

I mean if I were unemployed and didn't provide, I'm pretty sure I would possibly have to fight to stay out of jail and of course, I get the label "deadbeat dad". Does being the custodial parent preclude one from being a deadbeat? It shouldn't.

And apparently they might back-date this thing and say I owe the diference for the previous 3-4 months. And my ex goes about telling me this like it pains her to break the news, but at the same time she seems completely comfortable with the idea of collecting however much they might say she is owed. Normally I would agree. If someone hasn't paid whatever the court ordered amount is, they should be forced to pay. But since January my daughter AND her mom lived in my house! I'd understand if her mom lived elsewhere and she had to maintain a residence for our daughter to come back to. But she didn't have a fucking residence to maintain!? AND she was still getting the previous amount of child support every month while she lived with me. So I get to pay for the privilege of feeding her and providing her a place to live (my ex, of course, not my daughter). She wasn't employed the whole time so I covered 100% of everything.

So she and my daughter currently live in a studio apartment with my unemployed former mother-in-law (who openly degrades my ex in front of my child whenever they argue, which is regularly), as if a studio apartment didn't suck enough for my daughter. I'm sure they'll upgrade to a 2-bedroom where my ex's mom gets her own room and my daughter is forced to share. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Honestly, I think the custodial parent should be forced to provide proof that they are seeking employment. If they are not (and I mean more than filling out an application or two) and the non-custodial parent is still providing 100% or more of what they are required, I think the state should either A) lower the amount ordered (though I see the issue with this not being in the best interest of the child) or B) award custody to the parent that is more financially stable, provided there aren't some other extenuating circumstances that would make it a danger to the child. God forbid I die tomorrow. They'd be screwed because nobody wants to get off their ass and work a real job. I say they because I figure if her mom is gonna live with her, she should provide in some way. Otherwise, I am basically caring for her too and she is essentially taking food out my daughter's mouth just by being there.

I guess I'm done ranting for now.

Edit: I almost forgot...wage garnishment. It pisses me off because it was ordered at the divorce decree though I had never missed a single payment and always provided far more than was decided with our separation agreement at the time. But for her to get state assistance which she would qualify for simply by having a child (she doesn't meet any of the disability criteria or anything like that) the money must go through the child support office. So wage garnishment, from what I understand, does not exactly help your credit. Basically, my credit gets to die a slow death so she can get medical for free.

[Edited 9/7/10 21:55pm]

Don't you have shared custody?

JustErin said:

FauxReal said:

Why do family courts not somehow ensure that custodial parents are seeking gainful employment?

I ask because today my ex went to apply for state assistance (medical care and food stamps). She told them I have a new job and they told her that I need to call and give my new job info. Now, I thought they had this seeing as how within a few weeks of me working there, they had sent my employer a notice of wage garnishment for child support (a point that pisses me off, but I will get to that in a minute). So I go online and enter some info in a state child support calculator. The amount they calculate I would pay per month is double what I pay now. My new pay...not nearly double what it was. In fact, with a higher tax bracket now (they don't care about that, it's based on gross income), I take home like $800 more a month than I used to. Not a huge leap.

So my ex has been making what she previously got in terms of child support work for a month. Now she'll get double. Where's her motivation to actually work and provide for our daughter? How long does she get to stay unemployed? So since she gets a nice increase in child support, at this point, it is pretty much more profitable for her to remain unemployed, because if she suddenly trips, stumbles, and falls into a 40-hour work week, she might lose her state assistance and she'd get less child support since both incomes are taken into account.

I mean if I were unemployed and didn't provide, I'm pretty sure I would possibly have to fight to stay out of jail and of course, I get the label "deadbeat dad". Does being the custodial parent preclude one from being a deadbeat? It shouldn't.

And apparently they might back-date this thing and say I owe the diference for the previous 3-4 months. And my ex goes about telling me this like it pains her to break the news, but at the same time she seems completely comfortable with the idea of collecting however much they might say she is owed. Normally I would agree. If someone hasn't paid whatever the court ordered amount is, they should be forced to pay. But since January my daughter AND her mom lived in my house! I'd understand if her mom lived elsewhere and she had to maintain a residence for our daughter to come back to. But she didn't have a fucking residence to maintain!? AND she was still getting the previous amount of child support every month while she lived with me. So I get to pay for the privilege of feeding her and providing her a place to live (my ex, of course, not my daughter). She wasn't employed the whole time so I covered 100% of everything.

So she and my daughter currently live in a studio apartment with my unemployed former mother-in-law (who openly degrades my ex in front of my child whenever they argue, which is regularly), as if a studio apartment didn't suck enough for my daughter. I'm sure they'll upgrade to a 2-bedroom where my ex's mom gets her own room and my daughter is forced to share. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Honestly, I think the custodial parent should be forced to provide proof that they are seeking employment. If they are not (and I mean more than filling out an application or two) and the non-custodial parent is still providing 100% or more of what they are required, I think the state should either A) lower the amount ordered (though I see the issue with this not being in the best interest of the child) or B) award custody to the parent that is more financially stable, provided there aren't some other extenuating circumstances that would make it a danger to the child. God forbid I die tomorrow. They'd be screwed because nobody wants to get off their ass and work a real job. I say they because I figure if her mom is gonna live with her, she should provide in some way. Otherwise, I am basically caring for her too and she is essentially taking food out my daughter's mouth just by being there.

I guess I'm done ranting for now.

Edit: I almost forgot...wage garnishment. It pisses me off because it was ordered at the divorce decree though I had never missed a single payment and always provided far more than was decided with our separation agreement at the time. But for her to get state assistance which she would qualify for simply by having a child (she doesn't meet any of the disability criteria or anything like that) the money must go through the child support office. So wage garnishment, from what I understand, does not exactly help your credit. Basically, my credit gets to die a slow death so she can get medical for free.

[Edited 9/7/10 21:55pm]

Don't you have shared custody?

Not really. I don't really know how to explain it but they technically call it joint custody, but with us living in separate states, she gets placement of my daughter.

FauxReal said:

JustErin said:

Don't you have shared custody?

Not really. I don't really know how to explain it but they technically call it joint custody, but with us living in separate states, she gets placement of my daughter.

Do you have 50/50 joint?

JustErin said:

FauxReal said:

Not really. I don't really know how to explain it but they technically call it joint custody, but with us living in separate states, she gets placement of my daughter.

Do you have 50/50 joint?

No. I'll have to dig up my divorce papers to get the exact wording but it's something along the lines of joint custody with placement of the child being with the mother and us both deciding on decision such as school, medical care, etc. with her having final authority in those matters.

So once you look past all the BS legal speech thrown in to make me feel good, not really.

On an unrelated positive side note, your new avatar is the highlight of the day.

FauxReal said:

JustErin said:

Do you have 50/50 joint?

No. I'll have to dig up my divorce papers to get the exact wording but it's something along the lines of joint custody with placement of the child being with the mother and us both deciding on decision such as school, medical care, etc. with her having final authority in those matters.

So once you look past all the BS legal speech thrown in to make me feel good, not really.

FauxReal said:

On an unrelated positive side note, your new avatar is the highlight of the day.

Thanks.

JustErin said:

FauxReal said:

On an unrelated positive side note, your new avatar is the highlight of the day.

Thanks.

No, thank you.

Oh FauxReal why oh why did you and I not have a baby together????

We would have at least been civil and practical when we both moved on with our lives. It pisses me off to hear your story because you genuinely do give a shit and your getting screwed anyway.

Meanwhile back on my ranch;

I met my daughter's father when we were both homeless and living in New Orleans. He was actually staying with a friend and sleeping in the friends bedroom when he dragged my sorry ass home. I know his friend was just thrilled . But, believe it or not I had just gotten a job a couple of days before making $9.00 plus bonuses at a clothing store. I gave them some bullshit story about being new in town and having issues getting phone service etc etc and a fak address and since I had worked for that company in a different city they bought the story.

Me and my guy were off and on and he never maintained a job for long. When I got pregnant I was NOT living with him. Unfortunately my roomate moved back to Wisconsin and I needed to find a place and so I picked a $300 a month studio in the poor part of town so as to save money. Eventually I found out I was pregnant and I moved him in with me because I was alone and afraid of what would happen if no one was in the apartment and I became sick.

Anyway I continued to work, even took a second part time job in a candy store at xmas time so that I had enough money when the baby came in January of 2002. He continued to mooch and mooch and get drunk and little did I know that he was not only a pot smoker and cigarette smoker but a crack head aswell. Yup.

Baby was born and I got a ticket back to the city I hate and hate and hate from my sister, who herself had always wanted a baby but could not stay pregnant. She was 47 at the time and I was 40. The baby was my mothers first and only grandechild and she became a changed person for the better whenever my daughter was around her. Sadly when my daughter was 21 months old my mother got hit by a truck infront of her church. (ain't kidding). And I have now only my daughter and my sister who cared and cares two shits for me but loves my kid and we are all still living in the shitty city I hate so much.

Meanwhile back at the ranch the babies dadddy was more then pissed that I left the studio apartment with him in it and no way to pay the bills. He was not on my lease anyway so I handed in the keys and told management they would have to get his ass out of there because I was leaving the state. They said no problem 'cause they deal with this all the time.

I stayed in touch with the grandedad but not the daddy. However in early 2005, about 3 years after leaving the fool I hear from the grandedaddy that the daddy has found a new woman and is working and wants to send me $$$$ because he feels so bad.

I call. Great. TWO DAYS LATER he gets arrested for driving without a license and drunk. Sorry, can't send $$$ cause it has to go to bail, fines etc. OOOOps.

2006 he comes up to visit me from florida and would rather be with me then this other lady. I say well if you want to see me fine, but you will need to get your own apartment here in Massachusetts and a JOB if you want to get back together.

Suprise suprise he returns to other woman and they get married. Her daddy dies and she gets a house out of it, but her daddy was a smart old man who put the house in her minor childrens names and not hers. The home has no morgage.

Well daddy has not moved from this woman since and about every 6 months he sends me 100 or less. he has not yet sent me 500 total since 2005.

Talked to the lucky lady who married him. She says," you don't know how much it breaks his heart that he can't send you and the girl money on a regular basis. There just isn't any jobs down here in Florida. He really is looking".

Why oh why could I not have gotten impregnated by someone like you??????

FauxReal said:

On an unrelated positive side note, your new avatar is the highlight of the day.

Unfortunately you would not have wanted to impregnate me; my tah tahs do not hold a candle to Erins .

I finally have a job now and it starts in less than two weeks - quite a change after being unemployed for a while.

It's only temporary (4 months), but I'll be taking a 4 month computer & business course at the same time (in the evening) that could help me get a desk job somewhere after the temporary job period is over.

I feel like things are finally going my way..

Now all I need to do is learn these steps for the weekend (for a specific purpose of course) and it could lead to a VERY happy ending to potentially the greatest week so far this year:

Deadflow3r said:

FauxReal said:

On an unrelated positive side note, your new avatar is the highlight of the day.

Unfortunately you would not have wanted to impregnate me; my tah tahs do not hold a candle to Erins .

I mean...I had a vasectomy back in 2003, but we can try until it works.

But seriously, sorry to hear about your situation. It really makes mine pale in comparison. I think it would be worse to being on the flip side of things, being the custodial parent and having a non-custodial parent that refuses to do their part. Hopefully the father gets off his ass and finds a job.

I get tired of the "Oh there are no jobs, the economy is bad" excuse myeslf.