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Thread started 03/24/04 6:03pm

AzureStarr

Boyfriend Throws Out My Stuff

Over the past few weeks, my boyfriend has slowly been condensing my closet to fit some of his artwork supplies into it. I didn't have a problem with it and he said he was going to just put my things into larger boxes to take up less space. No problem.

It wasn't until I saw a metal tin in my kids' room that I have had since the day my son was born, seven years ago, that held letters that family members and myself wrote to each child on the day they were born, as well as newspapers and magazines from their date of birth. The tin was empty. He said he took the things out and put them in boxes.

I was scared to look in the boxes in the closet, thinking that he probably threw out the majority of the stuff, thinking that it was junk... i.e. the magazines, etc..

Well... tonight I decided to look for the stuff, and I was right... all that is left are the letters, which I am thankful are still there. I then started looking around and noticed that a box that I kept all of my wedding stuff in was not to be seen anywhere in the closet. I then took every box out of the closet... nothing.

He finally came home and I asked him about it. Got online and searched until I found the picture that was on the box... to sort of jog his memory. He remembered. He said he emptied that box and threw the box away. He can't find the contents. All of the cards from my wedding, receipts from everything that I purchased for the wedding, a small bible that my grandmother gave to me, my garter, hotel soap samples... just everything... it is all gone.

I feel so sick about it. I don't know whether to be angry or just... damn. I have carefully held onto both boxes and their contents for years... eleven years for my wedding stuff and over seven for my kids' things... and it's just gone. Just like that.

I am just... I really don't know what to think right now. He feels horrible because I've been sitting here crying about it and I'm sure he threw it all away thinking that the reciepts were just junk that I had in there and the cards... he doesn't save cards so he probably thought nothing of it... just like the cards he through away from my ex-husband that I had kept... and the shampoo samples he probably thought were useless. I'm sure he knows he threw them away and feels too bad to tell me. God... I feel sick about this whole thing.

I don't think I'd feel this bad about it if I hadn't carefully known where each of those two boxes were at all times. Had I thought he'd just start throwing things away I would have said something... but I never thought he'd throw anything of mine away... even if he thought it was junk.

Sorry... had to vent.
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Reply #1 posted 03/24/04 6:05pm

jessyMD32781

disbelief that was very disrespectful of him. at least he apologized.
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Reply #2 posted 03/24/04 6:06pm

althom

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I would be pissed off if I was you! mad
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Reply #3 posted 03/24/04 6:08pm

AzureStarr

althom said:

I would be pissed off if I was you! mad


I am too upset to be pissed off. I know he probably meant well with all of his condensing... he's a neat freak and likes everything organized and keeps nothing unless it has a use, but... fuck.

I can't remember the last time I felt so sick about something. You know?
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Reply #4 posted 03/24/04 6:08pm

psychodelicide

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hug That's terrible that your boyfriend through your stuff away. I understand that he was trying to make more room in the closet, but damn, he should have checked with you first. Men can be so damn insensitive sometimes! pissed
"The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about." - Wayne Dyer
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Reply #5 posted 03/24/04 6:09pm

2the9s

Throw out his art supplies!
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Reply #6 posted 03/24/04 6:09pm

psychodelicide

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rofl!!! 2the9s, I like how you think. biggrin
"The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about." - Wayne Dyer
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Reply #7 posted 03/24/04 6:10pm

AzureStarr

jessyMD32781 said:

disbelief that was very disrespectful of him. at least he apologized.


Yes, it was... and he does feel bad because he keeps coming over and kissing me and hugging me and apologizing. I wish that was enough to make all of the stuff appear.

Damnit anyway...
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Reply #8 posted 03/24/04 6:10pm

althom

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AzureStarr said:

althom said:

I would be pissed off if I was you! mad


I am too upset to be pissed off. I know he probably meant well with all of his condensing... he's a neat freak and likes everything organized and keeps nothing unless it has a use, but... fuck.

I can't remember the last time I felt so sick about something. You know?

I'm a neat freak...but I would never do that!
Seriously.....that's very thoughtless of him.
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Reply #9 posted 03/24/04 6:11pm

CarrieMpls

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sad
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Reply #10 posted 03/24/04 6:12pm

psychodelicide

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althom said:

AzureStarr said:



I am too upset to be pissed off. I know he probably meant well with all of his condensing... he's a neat freak and likes everything organized and keeps nothing unless it has a use, but... fuck.

I can't remember the last time I felt so sick about something. You know?

I'm a neat freak...but I would never do that!
Seriously.....that's very thoughtless of him.


nod I agree!
"The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about." - Wayne Dyer
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Reply #11 posted 03/24/04 6:15pm

AzureStarr

psychodelicide said:

hug That's terrible that your boyfriend through your stuff away. I understand that he was trying to make more room in the closet, but damn, he should have checked with you first. Men can be so damn insensitive sometimes! pissed


Exactly... he should have checked with me first. I mean... so many things are missing around here, I guess I shouldn't really be too surprised. I don't know where anything is in my kitchen anymore. Plastic lids to my Pyrex bowls are gone (I'm thinking he didn't see any plastic bowls around and thought they were junker lids that I just had lying around), everything is just in all sorts of crazy places. I know where nothing is anymore and now I'm starting to get pissed as I think about it.

It's like I'm living in his house now. He's organized every closet in here. My hair stuff is missing, even though he said he didn't throw it out and I had to buy new... just... grrrr...

He does this "organizing" while I am at work and it's too late by the time I notice that he's gone through a certain area.
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Reply #12 posted 03/24/04 6:15pm

AzureStarr

2the9s said:

Throw out his art supplies!


Then there'd be nothing in my closet... or in any of the numerous bookcases in here that used to store books.

sad
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Reply #13 posted 03/24/04 6:17pm

psychodelicide

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OMG - how awful!!!! I couldn't stand living with someone who just reorganized and threw out everything that they thought was not needed. disbelief I probably would get pissed and throw them out of my house (seriously). omg
"The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about." - Wayne Dyer
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Reply #14 posted 03/24/04 6:20pm

AzureStarr

God, I am so not trying to be a baby about this, but I really want my things back. sad It's like this empty pit in the middle of my stomach. I don't know why it makes me feel so sick.. I mean, it's just things that I've saved... I don't know if it's because I've held onto them so long and did so for a reason or what.


Damn.
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Reply #15 posted 03/24/04 6:21pm

AzureStarr

psychodelicide said:

OMG - how awful!!!! I couldn't stand living with someone who just reorganized and threw out everything that they thought was not needed. disbelief I probably would get pissed and throw them out of my house (seriously). omg


Yeah.

sad
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Reply #16 posted 03/24/04 6:24pm

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

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At least it sounds as if it was an honest mistake. He sounds truly sorry. Seems like a good time to have a conversation about some of the "around the house" things that bother each other.
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Reply #17 posted 03/24/04 6:27pm

nesseone

oh no.....i save everything.....cards, pictures, wrapping paper.....everything. If a boyfriend came in and throw my "personal belongings" out.....i'd be quick to throw him out
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Reply #18 posted 03/24/04 6:28pm

psychodelicide

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AzureStarr said:

God, I am so not trying to be a baby about this, but I really want my things back. sad It's like this empty pit in the middle of my stomach. I don't know why it makes me feel so sick.. I mean, it's just things that I've saved... I don't know if it's because I've held onto them so long and did so for a reason or what.


Damn.


I understand how you feel. The things that accidentally got tossed were things that meant a lot to you. I have some stuff that I have saved over the years that I would not even dream of parting with.
"The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about." - Wayne Dyer
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Reply #19 posted 03/24/04 6:29pm

psychodelicide

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nesseone said:

oh no.....i save everything.....cards, pictures, wrapping paper.....everything. If a boyfriend came in and throw my "personal belongings" out.....i'd be quick to throw him out


clapping clapping Amen!!!! You can always get another boyfriend, but you can't replace items that have sentimental value to you.
"The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about." - Wayne Dyer
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Reply #20 posted 03/24/04 6:30pm

AzureStarr

CarrieMpls said:

At least it sounds as if it was an honest mistake. He sounds truly sorry. Seems like a good time to have a conversation about some of the "around the house" things that bother each other.


Yeah, he is genuinly sorry about it. I'm sure he thought he was doing a good thing and helping out or something.

I guess he and I should have that talk, unfortunately, it's a little too late since he's hit every room in the house.
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Reply #21 posted 03/24/04 6:32pm

AzureStarr

psychodelicide said:

AzureStarr said:

God, I am so not trying to be a baby about this, but I really want my things back. sad It's like this empty pit in the middle of my stomach. I don't know why it makes me feel so sick.. I mean, it's just things that I've saved... I don't know if it's because I've held onto them so long and did so for a reason or what.


Damn.


I understand how you feel. The things that accidentally got tossed were things that meant a lot to you. I have some stuff that I have saved over the years that I would not even dream of parting with.


Yeah... he threw this stuff out, but all of my Prince junk is still in a box, safely tucked away in the closet. I wish he would have done away with that instead. smile
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Reply #22 posted 03/24/04 6:35pm

AzureStarr

nesseone said:

oh no.....i save everything.....cards, pictures, wrapping paper.....everything. If a boyfriend came in and throw my "personal belongings" out.....i'd be quick to throw him out


Yeah... but, it's not that easy to do when I doubt that he did it with ill intentions, you know? I think he just thought I was hoarding needless things like I do in my purse.
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Reply #23 posted 03/24/04 6:35pm

Byron

Oh, damn... sad Things that can't be replaced, no matter what they are, are priceless beyond measure...sorry to hear that. rose

If it makes you feel any better, I "accidentally" erased all of Althom's photos from the Org meet-up and replaced them with shots of Diva's nostril hairs... thumbs up!
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Reply #24 posted 03/24/04 6:38pm

MostBeautifulG
rlNTheWorld

althom said:

AzureStarr said:



I am too upset to be pissed off. I know he probably meant well with all of his condensing... he's a neat freak and likes everything organized and keeps nothing unless it has a use, but... fuck.

I can't remember the last time I felt so sick about something. You know?

I'm a neat freak...but I would never do that!
Seriously.....that's very thoughtless of him.

Well you have no problem locking me out of the house hmph!
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Reply #25 posted 03/24/04 6:40pm

AzureStarr

Byron said:

Oh, damn... sad Things that can't be replaced, no matter what they are, are priceless beyond measure...sorry to hear that. rose

If it makes you feel any better, I "accidentally" erased all of Althom's photos from the Org meet-up and replaced them with shots of Diva's nostril hairs... thumbs up!


smile Ya nut!

Yeah... that mini-cassette that you sent to me years ago... you know what I'm talking about? Well, months ago he started talking about my therapist... calling him a man. I'm like... I don't have and never did have a male therapist. He argued and said he had him on tape talking to me. For the life of me I couldn't think of what he was talking about.

A few weeks ago he got out the mini-cassette recorder that he decided to get out of my drawer and use for band practice and played about a minute that was left on the tape... he had recorded over the rest. 'Twas that tape you sent me. Which I had tucked away in that blue, wooden box with the sun, moon and butterflies on it.

So, when I say he hit every inch of the house... he hit it all.

sad


.
[This message was edited Wed Mar 24 18:41:20 2004 by AzureStarr]
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Reply #26 posted 03/24/04 6:44pm

althom

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Byron said:

If it makes you feel any better, I "accidentally" erased all of Althom's photos from the Org meet-up and replaced them with shots of Diva's nostril hairs... thumbs up!

neutral
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Reply #27 posted 03/24/04 6:47pm

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

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Give it some time and then throw away all his art stuff. Afterall, it's not yours so why do you need it. I hate this side of men. They can be worse than retarded sometimes. You have every right to be hugely pissed. I wanna punch this dude in the face right now pissed
2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740
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Reply #28 posted 03/24/04 6:49pm

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

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AzureStarr said:

psychodelicide said:

hug That's terrible that your boyfriend through your stuff away. I understand that he was trying to make more room in the closet, but damn, he should have checked with you first. Men can be so damn insensitive sometimes! pissed


Exactly... he should have checked with me first. I mean... so many things are missing around here, I guess I shouldn't really be too surprised. I don't know where anything is in my kitchen anymore. Plastic lids to my Pyrex bowls are gone (I'm thinking he didn't see any plastic bowls around and thought they were junker lids that I just had lying around), everything is just in all sorts of crazy places. I know where nothing is anymore and now I'm starting to get pissed as I think about it.

It's like I'm living in his house now. He's organized every closet in here. My hair stuff is missing, even though he said he didn't throw it out and I had to buy new... just... grrrr...

He does this "organizing" while I am at work and it's too late by the time I notice that he's gone through a certain area.


You need to put a stop to it. My best friend, when we were roommates, used to do this kind of shit and I finally told her to knock it the fuck off. There is such a thing as compromise and communication and neat freaks tend to only put their insanity first. I'm pissed for you. Really I am.
2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740
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Reply #29 posted 03/24/04 6:49pm

AzureStarr

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Give it some time and then throw away all his art stuff. Afterall, it's not yours so why do you need it. I hate this side of men. They can be worse than retarded sometimes. You have every right to be hugely pissed. I wanna punch this dude in the face right now pissed


I am finding out that I hate this side of men, too.

And, I'm going to use that line. "They can be worse than retarded sometimes". I like that. smile
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