There was one little boy in the teacher's class who really struggled to learn.

One day the teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence, and of course he didn't know.

The teacher asked him every day for a week but still he couldn’t give the right answer.

Finally, in desperation, she called the boy’s father to come and see her. She said to him, "Your boy won’t tell me who signed the Declaration of Independence."

The father said to his son, "Come here, boy, and sit down."

The boy duly did as he was told and then his dad said to him, "Now if you signed that stupid thing, just admit it so we can get out of here."

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Mary and Lucy were in the parking lot after the big fireworks show and 4th of July celebrations, trying to unlock the door of Mary’s car with a coat hanger because they had accidentally left the keys in the car.

“I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!” Mary complained to Lucy, trying desperately to maneuver the coat hanger.

“Well, I wish you would hurry up,” Lucy replied. “It’s starting to rain and the top is down!

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“I wish you all a HAPPY FOURTH.
I’d like to tell you now
Get a pencil; write this down
I’m gonna tell you how.
Pass it on to all your friends
Just tell them what you heard.
The way to have a happy FOURTH
Is to buy a FIFTH on the THIRD!”

-Unknown