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Thread started 01/08/15 9:24am

uniden

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how long is too long for you?

my husband's mom and grandma are visiting us from brazil right now, they have been here since the 17th of dec., and are staying here 35 days total, his grandma is even thinking about changing her ticket to stay here 3 months. eek i am already going out of my mind with their visit. they hate the food here, everything is too spicy to them or has peppers in it. they constantly complain about everything here! i don't feel at ease in my own home most of the time, feel like i've had to re-arrange my days around everything they want. every day i have to drive up to the store and buy something they need, because the bread here is not good enough or something. mad feeling so frustrated today. all the extra money we're spending on what they want, and they are never satisfied. confused

how long of a visit is too long with your family? i think a week would of been good enough for me, LOL!

be kind, be a friend, not a bully.
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Reply #1 posted 01/08/15 9:29am

Billmenever

uniden said:

my husband's mom and grandma are visiting us from brazil right now, they have been here since the 17th of dec., and are staying here 35 days total, his grandma is even thinking about changing her ticket to stay here 3 months. eek i am already going out of my mind with their visit. they hate the food here, everything is too spicy to them or has peppers in it. they constantly complain about everything here! i don't feel at ease in my own home most of the time, feel like i've had to re-arrange my days around everything they want. every day i have to drive up to the store and buy something they need, because the bread here is not good enough or something. mad feeling so frustrated today. all the extra money we're spending on what they want, and they are never satisfied. confused

how long of a visit is too long with your family? i think a week would of been good enough for me, LOL!

They're visiting you say from Brazil. Hmmm if you're in the States, you're guests have traveled a great distance. Get used to the complaints. They'll be with you for a while longer. You may want to take up having a nite-cap with your family weekly. Lol, everyone may enjoy it and sleep better. drink

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Reply #2 posted 01/08/15 9:45am

uniden

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LOL! it is a long distance for sure, i've traveled many times back and forth to brazil. it's not a cheap plane ticket to buy either. i love them a lot, but every single day is a drama, they argue with people over web cam that are still in brazil, they call and argue over the phone, they slam doors, and scream. i really might need that nite-cap. lol

be kind, be a friend, not a bully.
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Reply #3 posted 01/08/15 10:14am

PurpleJedi

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Misleading title.

Not really the question that I was expecting on the Org...

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #4 posted 01/08/15 10:35am

nextedition

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I wouldn't care how long someone has travelled, 35 days is way too long....3 months is crazy.

Even if there wasn't drama, I would go out of my mind.

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Reply #5 posted 01/08/15 10:49am

NinaB

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PurpleJedi said:

Misleading title.



Not really the question that I was expecting on the Org...


falloff my thoughts exactly!
"We just let people talk & say whatever they want 2 say. 9 times out of 10, trust me, what's out there now, I wouldn't give nary one of these folks the time of day. That's why I don't say anything back, because there's so much that's wrong" - P, Dec '15
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Reply #6 posted 01/08/15 10:55am

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

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I honestly can’t do much more than a few hours with my family, or my boyfriend’s family for that matter. lol I love them all, I just fiercely protect my alone time. My bf and I even spend significant time apart when we’re home together. It works well for us.

Sorry you’re having such a tough time of things. hug I know you’re the type of person who puts others needs ahead of your own and it seems that are taking advantage of that. Not very nice of them. If they’re staying longer, maybe you and your husband should lay down some ground rules? (i.e. no running off to the store every time they don’t like something…)


And you need to make sure to get some quiet time.

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Reply #7 posted 01/08/15 10:59am

KingBAD

fish and visitors go bad at the same time

its just a matter of how long you wanna

put up with the effects

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #8 posted 01/08/15 11:06am

novabrkr

Time spent with relatives in general? A full week is usually too much already. I'd say it's even a bit impolite to suggest that you could spend so much time in another person's house.

Not that I've had to endure so much of that after I've started living on my own . I do work periodically for my "godfather", touring around the country doing entertainment / P&R crap and we tend to get on each other's nerves after just a few days.

Blast some early, DM / Controversy / 1999 era Prince in the house and see if they want to leave sooner. Walking around in your underpants could help too.

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Reply #9 posted 01/08/15 11:31am

RodeoSchro

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KingBAD said:

fish and visitors go bad at the same time

its just a matter of how long you wanna

put up with the effects



falloff highfive

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's paladin
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Reply #10 posted 01/08/15 11:41am

uniden

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PurpleJedi said:

Misleading title.

Not really the question that I was expecting on the Org...

lol lol eek wink

be kind, be a friend, not a bully.
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Reply #11 posted 01/08/15 11:43am

uniden

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nextedition said:

I wouldn't care how long someone has travelled, 35 days is way too long....3 months is crazy.

Even if there wasn't drama, I would go out of my mind.

exactly how i feel.

be kind, be a friend, not a bully.
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Reply #12 posted 01/08/15 11:48am

MoBettaBliss


i start to struggle after 2 days

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Reply #13 posted 01/08/15 11:49am

uniden

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CarrieMpls said:

I honestly can’t do much more than a few hours with my family, or my boyfriend’s family for that matter. lol I love them all, I just fiercely protect my alone time. My bf and I even spend significant time apart when we’re home together. It works well for us.

Sorry you’re having such a tough time of things. hug I know you’re the type of person who puts others needs ahead of your own and it seems that are taking advantage of that. Not very nice of them. If they’re staying longer, maybe you and your husband should lay down some ground rules? (i.e. no running off to the store every time they don’t like something…)


And you need to make sure to get some quiet time.

thanks so much Carrie hug yes, you are so right about the ground rules! my husband is working a lot lately so i don't think he realizes how bad it gets when he's not home. they don't act as difficult when he's home and around. their mood seems to change when he's not here.

i am a very calm, quiet person, i grew up an only child, so i'm not used to so much chaos all of the time. i do need to make sure i find private, quiet time to myself. i'm the type of person that needs that.

[Edited 1/8/15 11:50am]

[Edited 1/8/15 11:51am]

be kind, be a friend, not a bully.
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Reply #14 posted 01/08/15 11:56am

uniden

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novabrkr said:

Time spent with relatives in general? A full week is usually too much already. I'd say it's even a bit impolite to suggest that you could spend so much time in another person's house.

Not that I've had to endure so much of that after I've started living on my own . I do work periodically for my "godfather", touring around the country doing entertainment / P&R crap and we tend to get on each other's nerves after just a few days.

Blast some early, DM / Controversy / 1999 era Prince in the house and see if they want to leave sooner. Walking around in your underpants could help too.

yesterday i did play the "sign o the times" cd in the car, lol

[Edited 1/8/15 11:56am]

be kind, be a friend, not a bully.
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Reply #15 posted 01/08/15 11:58am

uniden

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MoBettaBliss said:


i start to struggle after 2 days

yep!

be kind, be a friend, not a bully.
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Reply #16 posted 01/08/15 3:19pm

1contessa

Let me put it this way, my inlaws recently visited for a weekend, and that was almost one day too many.

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Reply #17 posted 01/08/15 5:57pm

3rdeyedude

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This sounds like a nightmare. I thought this thread was about oral sex at first. Damn.

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Reply #18 posted 01/08/15 5:58pm

KingBAD

ASK YO'SELF...

how long wpuld you feel comfortable

in somebody else's house... then cut that in half

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #19 posted 01/08/15 8:04pm

luv4u

Moderator

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moderator

Take off and hardly be home or tell them to get a hotel. neutral

Edmonton, AB - canada

Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #20 posted 01/09/15 3:04am

chocolate1

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What does your husband say? Has he expressed that he's ready for them to leave?
Have you talked with him about feeling uncomfortable? (I'm sure it's a touchy subject).


After Superstorm Sandy a few years ago, I got power and heat before my parents and sister did... After a couple of days, I remembered why I have my own home. Alone. doh!
I'd walk in the house and think, "Oh... confused"

I hope you get some peace soon! hug


"Love Hurts.
Your lies, they cut me.
Now your words don't mean a thing.
I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..."

-Cher, "Woman's World"
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Reply #21 posted 01/09/15 4:18am

JoeTyler

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misleading title!!! (indeed)

sorry I cant help you with the op, though

the only family members I wanna be around are close family members (basically mom and sisters-niece) and they could live in my place as long as they wanted to...(payin' their stuff, of couse, I ain't rich)

I would NEVER allow a non-close family member to stay at my place, not even for 5 days, because they're all assholes

[Edited 1/9/15 4:22am]

tinkerbell
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Reply #22 posted 01/09/15 2:06pm

mynameisnotsus
an

Anything more than 9 inches is a wast....wait

Oh, my bad
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Reply #23 posted 01/09/15 2:16pm

lezama

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MoBettaBliss said:


i start to struggle after 2 days

I start to struggle after more than 2 hours..

Change it one more time..
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Reply #24 posted 01/09/15 2:21pm

lezama

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I will say though that in latin cultures (if your spouse is brazilian) tend to see such things like extended visits as completely normal. I've been thoroughly americanized though and luckily my wife's the same way. We keep family at arms length. Ive become a master of coming up with convenient excuses for not being able to receive someone. If I did, I'd probably have to be on xanax or prozac the whole time to get through it.

Change it one more time..
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Reply #25 posted 01/10/15 7:17am

Shyra

When my parents were alive and visited me, I honestly didn't have that problem. They knew how to allow me space and understood when I needed my "down time."

I remember years ago when my father's mother broke her hip while visiting over the Christmas holiday. She had to recuperate at my parents' house, and Grandma drove my mom batshit crazy. Daddy was also a little put off when Grandma would get into her hankty vibe when visitors would drop by. I remember one time when I was visiting during that time. Grandma was in the living room talking with some neighbors, and my dad came into the kitchen looking disgusted and frustrated. I said, "What's wrong, Daddy?" He said, "Mama's in there showing off!" It took every fiber in my body to keep from falling out laughing. Years later Mom's father lived with her for a while, and I think that lasted about a month before both of them had had enough of each other.

I feel for you though. Making demands and complaining about everything would drive me freaking nuts. You should have a serious talk with your husband and tell him he should take up some of the slack with running to the store and nonsense. I would also make a week's reservation at a hotel and leave the two old broads back at the house to let them fend for themselves a while. Show them how to get to the store or leave them enough provisions to last for a week. Maybe that would give them a hint.

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Reply #26 posted 01/10/15 9:29am

Beautifulstarr
123

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PurpleJedi said:

Misleading title.




Not really the question that I was expecting on the Org...



I'm not gonna front, but my mind went to the gutter on that one nod lol
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Reply #27 posted 01/10/15 4:03pm

paintedlady

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PurpleJedi said:

Misleading title.

Not really the question that I was expecting on the Org...

lol I was thinking the same!! Get outta my head

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Reply #28 posted 01/10/15 4:11pm

paintedlady

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There is a saying... "Guests (and fish) of any kind start to stink after 3 days."

it's true.

I can't stand my mother, learned to not hate her. So now I can tolerate her in small doses (3-4 hours max) it's progress. She is the ONLY elder I am visited by. My grandaunt died and she was like my grandmother, I never knew any of my grandparents and my only surviving grandmother is in Puerto Rico, she is my father's mother and I don't speak to my father.

So... I wish I could help you in this situation.... I can't because my mother is my only parent I know.

So I'll pass a big hug hug along along and tell you to have a long convo with hubby AFTER they leave.

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Reply #29 posted 01/10/15 4:12pm

paintedlady

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KingBAD said:

fish and visitors go bad at the same time

its just a matter of how long you wanna

put up with the effects

^^^^ See, its an old saying but a true one. Just saw this.

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