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PrintableCook nasty food next time they visit, get sick, because the more comfortable they are, the longer they stay.
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chocolate1 said: What does your husband say? Has he expressed that he's ready for them to leave? I hope you get some peace soon! They annoy him too at times. I have talked to him about their behavior, and he was upset that it's happening. He's talked to them about it, but doesn't seem to be improving any. He said he's not going to ask them to visit next Xmas. When they do come to visit again they will need to come during his vacation so that he's at home during the whole visit to deal with them. be kind, be a friend, not a bully. | |
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"lezama said: I will say though that in latin cultures (if your spouse is brazilian) tend to see such things like extended visits as completely normal. I've been thoroughly americanized though and luckily my wife's the same way. We keep family at arms length. Ive become a master of coming up with convenient excuses for not being able to receive someone. If I did, I'd probably have to be on xanax or prozac the whole time to get through it. That's true, it is normal for them to have long visits. be kind, be a friend, not a bully. | |
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Shyra said: When my parents were alive and visited me, I honestly didn't have that problem. They knew how to allow me space and understood when I needed my "down time."
I remember years ago when my father's mother broke her hip while visiting over the Christmas holiday. She had to recuperate at my parents' house, and Grandma drove my mom batshit crazy. Daddy was also a little put off when Grandma would get into her hankty vibe when visitors would drop by. I remember one time when I was visiting during that time. Grandma was in the living room talking with some neighbors, and my dad came into the kitchen looking disgusted and frustrated. I said, "What's wrong, Daddy?" He said, "Mama's in there showing off!" It took every fiber in my body to keep from falling out laughing. Years later Mom's father lived with her for a while, and I think that lasted about a month before both of them had had enough of each other.
I feel for you though. Making demands and complaining about everything would drive me freaking nuts. You should have a serious talk with your husband and tell him he should take up some of the slack with running to the store and nonsense. I would also make a week's reservation at a hotel and leave the two old broads back at the house to let them fend for themselves a while. Show them how to get to the store or leave them enough provisions to last for a week. Maybe that would give them a hint. The hard part is my husband works 12 hour days, with little time off. So I'm with them 24/7. I already told him next time they visit he has to take a vacation to be here the whole time with them. be kind, be a friend, not a bully. | |
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paintedlady said: There is a saying... "Guests (and fish) of any kind start to stink after 3 days."
it's true.
I can't stand my mother, learned to not hate her. So now I can tolerate her in small doses (3-4 hours max) it's progress. She is the ONLY elder I am visited by. My grandaunt died and she was like my grandmother, I never knew any of my grandparents and my only surviving grandmother is in Puerto Rico, she is my father's mother and I don't speak to my father.
So... I wish I could help you in this situation.... I can't because my mother is my only parent I know.
So I'll pass a big hug Yes, after they leave we will have a very long talk indeed!  be kind, be a friend, not a bully. | |
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along along and tell you to have a long convo with hubby AFTER they leave. KingBAD said: fish and visitors go bad at the same time its just a matter of how long you wanna put up with the effects So true! be kind, be a friend, not a bully. | |
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The art of been a good guest is knowing when to leave. London u feel 4 me like i feel 4 u,21 nites i think so,1,2,1234 | |
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IWANNABYOURLOVER said: The art of been a good guest is knowing when to leave. Agreed. Don't overstay your welcome. | |
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And here I thought this was a sex thread | |
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My in-laws use to come at Thankgiving and leave around mid to the end of January. Whatever, this type of stuff has never bothered me. My mother came from a large family and her family came visted often and vice-versa. I have an open door policy anyway, I really don't care - stay until whenever. I'm a loner.
----------------------------- [Edited 1/11/15 21:54pm] | |
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yesterday was the worst day of the entire visit so far! my husband's grandma and my husband's mom got into a huge argument and they started screaming, slamming doors, my husband's mom punched the wall. it was a nightmare! i am so done with this visit! the only good part was that my husband was home this time to witness the whole mess, and he was mad! finally he was able to see what i've been going through. he told them once they leave they aren't welcome back because of this abuse. if they visit again they have to go to a hotel. but i still have 7 more days until they leave..... be kind, be a friend, not a bully. | |
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yes, soooooo true! be kind, be a friend, not a bully. | |
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uniden said: yesterday was the worst day of the entire visit so far! my husband's grandma and my husband's mom got into a huge argument and they started screaming, slamming doors, my husband's mom punched the wall. it was a nightmare! i am so done with this visit! the only good part was that my husband was home this time to witness the whole mess, and he was mad! finally he was able to see what i've been going through. he told them once they leave they aren't welcome back because of this abuse. if they visit again they have to go to a hotel. but i still have 7 more days until they leave..... Mum-in-law punched the wall? Wtf?  | |
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3 days is about MAX.
FOOLS multiply when WISE Men & Women are silent. | |
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Wow.. that sucks. You're very patient. I couldnt do it. I hope the next week goes smoothly and quickly for you. Change it one more time.. | |
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good one... i wouldn't try to get them sick BUT... ACT LIKE YOU GOT THE FLU and have them take care of the cookin and cleanin and runnin of arons it could backfire i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT... 
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE... | |
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KingBAD said:
good one... i wouldn't try to get them sick BUT... ACT LIKE YOU GOT THE FLU and have them take care of the cookin and cleanin and runnin of arons it could backfire When I visit and stay more than a day, I offered to do those things, anyway  ...but I make sure that I don't overstay my welcolme, evrm if they ask me to stay a little longer. | |
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What? Too spicy? In the USA?
I thought Brazilian cuisine is much spicier than typical American foods. Unless you eat some real Cajun or Creole food. What did they eat that they found spicy? " I´d rather be a stank ass hoe because I´m not stupid. Oh my goodness! I got more drugs! I´m always funny dude...I´m hilarious! Are we gonna smoke?" | |
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i am already going out of my mind with their visit. they hate the food here, everything is too spicy to them or has peppers in it. they constantly complain about everything here! i don't feel at ease in my own home most of the time, feel like i've had to re-arrange my days around everything they want. every day i have to drive up to the store and buy something they need, because the bread here is not good enough or something. mynameisnotsusan said: uniden said: yesterday was the worst day of the entire visit so far! my husband's grandma and my husband's mom got into a huge argument and they started screaming, slamming doors, my husband's mom punched the wall. it was a nightmare! i am so done with this visit! the only good part was that my husband was home this time to witness the whole mess, and he was mad! finally he was able to see what i've been going through. he told them once they leave they aren't welcome back because of this abuse. if they visit again they have to go to a hotel. but i still have 7 more days until they leave..... Mum-in-law punched the wall? Wtf? She sure did, I couldn't believe she would disrespect our home that way! be kind, be a friend, not a bully. | |
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KoolEaze said:
What? Too spicy? In the USA?
I thought Brazilian cuisine is much spicier than typical American foods. Unless you eat some real Cajun or Creole food. What did they eat that they found spicy? Everything is spicy to them, no matter if I cook it extra bland, or we take them out to eat. They claim everything has a spice to it and his mom swears I put peppers in everything I cook (which I dont). But I sure do feel like putting peppers in everything now just to show her what spicy really is! Brazilian food in the Rio de Janeiro area where they are from mostly isn't spicy and is really sort of bland tasting ( which is why I've tried to cook everything without a bunch of spices). Further north in Brazil the food gets spicer. His mom spit food out on my floor because she said it was too spicy.  be kind, be a friend, not a bully. | |
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lezama said:
Wow.. that sucks. You're very patient. I couldnt do it. I hope the next week goes smoothly and quickly for you. Thanks so much! Me too.  be kind, be a friend, not a bully. | |
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35 days?
I have a question for your husband: "How are you still married?"
You are a saint for putting up with this. I'd be tempted to make them pay for a hotel room for ME to stay in if I was in your shoes. | |
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lezama said: I will say though that in latin cultures (if your spouse is brazilian) tend to see such things like extended visits as completely normal. I've been thoroughly americanized though and luckily my wife's the same way. We keep family at arms length. Ive become a master of coming up with convenient excuses for not being able to receive someone. If I did, I'd probably have to be on xanax or prozac the whole time to get through it. I was thinking it sounds like culture clash, too. | |
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Oh no, I meant act like she is sick, like a bad constant case of diarrhea every time the in-laws try to hold conversation or want a meal. [Edited 1/15/15 17:12pm] | |
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my goodness, yes, they need their own space for their "way" of doing things.
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"Love Hurts. Your lies, they cut me. Now your words don't mean a thing. I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..." -Cher, "Woman's World" | |
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By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! |
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