morningsong said:

NinaB said:

that's exactly what we are doing, Maybe it's my fault because I'm a voracious reader & competent in the oral tradition but suck when it comes to putting my words in writing, so I may not have communicated well what I mean. Also I drastically edited down a much larger subject as I don't really want to derail the OP's thread.

Curiousity is killing. What else did you want to talk about that you think would derail the thread? Even if the topic changes, we can always move it to a different section.

SeventeenDayze said:

luv4u said:

kewlschool said:

Can we say prenup.

Prenup is for those with a lot of financial stuff like folks with tons of financial worth that they want protected in case a break down in the relationship occurs.

If one has to have a prenup.... my opinion is that they don't trust you and they are only looking out for themselves.

NinaB said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Curiousity is killing. What else did you want to talk about that you think would derail the thread? Even if the topic changes, we can always move it to a different section.

U tryna get me in trouble? It's not so much that I wanted to talk about anything else really,esp in writing... people have misunderstood where I'm coming from in person at times & verbally I'm quite articulate. Originally I was just replying 2 you..... but that's such a deep & broad subject that in some ways I don't even know where to start, so tried to narrow it down..... which is a challenge 4 me as I can be long winded esp concerning subjects like history/herstory, politics/politricks, gender, spirituality , race, class etc etc. Basically I've had a quite unusual life, a diverse upbringing, people like to put things in neat little boxes & label them, if I try to go into certain subjects on here it's highly likely I'll be misunderstood esp considering I'm a reader /talker not a writer. Long story short I like to get to the truth of things whenever possible, I have broad interests including raising consciousness. The world interests me, past & present, all people's.

Trouble? Of course not

I think I have an idea of what you're saying. You're not a very coventional person and the majority of folks out there in the dating scene tend to be a bit more superficial because of their pursuit of being in a "normal" relationship. I kind of have the same issues as well. I am by no means conventional and I think trying to fit yourself into the dating game when almost everyone else around you can only discuss Top 40 music and TV shows......you're already off to an awkward start Trust me, Ive been/am where you are.

NinaB said:

Tbh I think the times we're living in are the most abnormal, unnatural & unhealthy. What they think is a 'normal' life &/or relationship to me seems insane! Ancient history/mystery is a passion of mine & I'm always looking at things from a thousands of years perspective. I had a major trauma a few years back & haven't been on the 'dating scene' (amongst other scenes)frequency ever since. Well actually just prior to the trauma I had been in a 10yr relationship so technically I haven't been in the dating scene since my early twenty's. I ain't looking or stressing over it, men approach me but for 1 reason or another I ain't felt none of them. luckily 4 me I'm an only child, used to my own company & need time alone even when in a relationship. If a man with a beautifull soul comes into my life at some point he would be welcomed but tbh I've had far more urgent things to focus on the last few years. [Edited 6/6/14 22:53pm]

I agree with you. I think back in the day there used to be a "three date rule" before having sex. But now? There are so many guys who expect or ask for sex on the first day, it's quite shocking. Before I voluntarily "retired" from going on dates, I had met a guy from the internet and we met in person at a cafe. This idiot probably talked about "normal" stuff for about 20 minutes before he switched gears and started talking about sex and asking me personal questions. I think in that moment a ton of bricks fell on me. I took the time to dress up, look nice, etc. and he shows up unshaved, tacky in appearance and tacky with his actions. At this point, I don't think I'll be married ever because I don't fit into this game that's out there. So be it, I'll be alone.

NinaB said:

Jeez! No home training, No respect. Similar thing happened to my friend who went on a date with a guy from a online dating site. He started pulling out photos of his penis & asking her does she wear red stiletto boots, mf tried it with the wrong woman that day! Haha! To clarify the trauma had nothing to do with men it was to do with death. Sometimes I wonder what people in the future will say about these times... Very often it makes of think of that childhood story The Emperor's New Clothes. I don't think I'll get married either but since I'm not looking to have kids I don't think it's really necessary tbh. There's still some lovely men out there, leave the door open a smidge hey?

Yeah there's an army of loser guys out there. Sorting through the mess to find the nice ones is a hefty task. I guess I just got tired of not having chemistry or anything that made me want to see the guy again. That's funny about what happened to your friend. I total understand it, believe me I think people in the future will be amazed at how we allowed technology to break down certain areas of our lives that we still need. At times, I feel sad that I have reached this point (a few years ago) that certain things that involve dating, love, marriage, etc. will probably never come my way. I think I have been okay with that for the past few years but sometimes it's a bit surreal.....time keeps moving on and so do I...

NinaB said:

Jeez! No home training, No respect. Similar thing happened to my friend who went on a date with a guy from a online dating site. He started pulling out photos of his penis & asking her does she wear red stiletto boots, mf tried it with the wrong woman that day! Haha! To clarify the trauma had nothing to do with men it was to do with death. Sometimes I wonder what people in the future will say about these times... Very often it makes of think of that childhood story The Emperor's New Clothes. I don't think I'll get married either but since I'm not looking to have kids I don't think it's really necessary tbh. There's still some lovely men out there, leave the door open a smidge hey?

Yes the dating game these days is a wild and crazy zoo. Adding technology to that makes it even more crazier. I met (who I thought was) a nice guy a couple of years ago who worked for another company in my building. We exchanged numbers and by the second phone call he was already asking what type of panties do I like to wear what color. Then he proceeded to ask me to send him a "pic" of me...and no not a face shot. I refused and he never called again. I had another guy one time invite me to see him bowl with his bowling team, however, he failed to mention that an ex-girlfriend of his was one of the members on this bowling team. Do you know the heffa had the nerve to keep pulling pics up on her phone with him and her and proceeded to tell me that they still see each other? Basically he just invited me to make her jealous and I unknowingly walked into a dramatic situation. After that, I never went out with him again.

So that's why I just enjoy my single, drama-free life as it is now. I stopped looking and concentrating on men and dating about 7 months ago and haven't looked back. I figure, I'll meet a sincerely nice guy when the time is right.

[Edited 6/8/14 17:24pm]

[Edited 6/9/14 4:32am]

missfee said:

NinaB said:

Jeez! No home training, No respect. Similar thing happened to my friend who went on a date with a guy from a online dating site. He started pulling out photos of his penis & asking her does she wear red stiletto boots, mf tried it with the wrong woman that day! Haha! To clarify the trauma had nothing to do with men it was to do with death. Sometimes I wonder what people in the future will say about these times... Very often it makes of think of that childhood story The Emperor's New Clothes. I don't think I'll get married either but since I'm not looking to have kids I don't think it's really necessary tbh. There's still some lovely men out there, leave the door open a smidge hey?

Yes the dating game these days is a wild and crazy zoo. Adding technology to that makes it even more crazier. I met (who I thought was) a nice guy a couple of years ago who worked for another company in my building. We exchanged numbers and by the second phone call he was already asking what type of panties do I like to wear what color. Then he proceeded to ask me to send him a "pic" of me...and no not a face shot. I refused and he never called again. I had another guy one time invite me to see him bowl with his bowling team, however, he failed to mention that an ex-girlfriend of his was one of the members on this bowling team. Do you know the heffa had the nerve to keep pulling pics up on her phone and him and her and proceeded to tell me that they still see each other? Basically he just invited me to make her jealous and I unknowingly walked into a dramatic situation. After that, I never went out with him again.

So that's why I just enjoy my single, drama-free life as it is now. I stopped looking and concentrating on men and dating about 7 months ago and haven't looked back. I figure, I'll meet a sincerely nice guy when the time is right.

[Edited 6/8/14 17:24pm]

Sounds like those are some loser guys, be happy that you dodged those bullets I think technology is a problem as well. It seems like people are getting used to instant gratification and unfortunately that involves dating as well.

I just CAN'T UNDERSTAND the folks who want to SETTLE DOWN and have kids when they're younger than 32-35 yo...

omg, this ain't the '50s anymore, you know?

JoeTyler said:

I just CAN'T UNDERSTAND the folks who want to SETTLE DOWN and have kids when they're younger than 32-35 yo...

omg, this ain't the '50s anymore, you know?

I think it's some sort of societal expectation, especially for women, to not be single at that age. There's a stigma that you're flawed or something's wrong with you. But, from what I can tell, people rush relationships to the altar just to get divorced later.

NinaB said:

Different strokes. No point in comparing. Some folks ain't cut from that cloth. Many single people can & have added to society in numerous ways. Some folks who had kids really shouldn't have as their not cut out to be parents & have seriously f****d their kids up. Don't have to be married to be in a loving partnership. Give thanks you've got your health.

I agree

Ace said:

ScarletScandal said:

I enjoy my fucking freedom too much!

Me, too! I could never go back to a life where I couldn't do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.

I am the complete opposite: I only feel free and completely "me" when I am in a relationship.

SeventeenDayze said:

JoeTyler said:

I just CAN'T UNDERSTAND the folks who want to SETTLE DOWN and have kids when they're younger than 32-35 yo...

omg, this ain't the '50s anymore, you know?

I think it's some sort of societal expectation, especially for women, to not be single at that age. There's a stigma that you're flawed or something's wrong with you. But, from what I can tell, people rush relationships to the altar just to get divorced later.

that's a brilliant line and, sadly, accurate

SeventeenDayze said:

JoeTyler said:

I just CAN'T UNDERSTAND the folks who want to SETTLE DOWN and have kids when they're younger than 32-35 yo...

omg, this ain't the '50s anymore, you know?

I think it's some sort of societal expectation, especially for women, to not be single at that age.

I think most women from the post-Reagan era have LEARNED to live with a man WITHOUT having kids

there are lots of chilldess divorced/separated couples

[Edited 6/9/14 12:56pm]

JoeTyler said:

SeventeenDayze said:

I think it's some sort of societal expectation, especially for women, to not be single at that age. There's a stigma that you're flawed or something's wrong with you. But, from what I can tell, people rush relationships to the altar just to get divorced later.

that's a brilliant line and, sadly, accurate

Thanks for that. From what I have observed, it seems that there are plenty of guys who understand that there are women who are desperate for either a relationship and/or marriage. This completely puts the control squarely on the man's lap. People really have to ask themselves why they'd want to be married in the first place.

missfee said:

Serious said:

SeventeenDayze said:

NinaB said:

SeventeenDayze said:

I think it's some sort of societal expectation, especially for women, to not be single at that age. There's a stigma that you're flawed or something's wrong with you. But, from what I can tell, people rush relationships to the altar just to get divorced later.

Over the last 10/15 yrs i can't tell you how much downright fuckry ive had to deal with from strangers, associates, some friends & family over the fact i haven't got children...sly or outright insults, presumptions, assumptions, pity, superiority, mocking etc etc. One of the things that infuriates me the most is when after they ask if I've got kids they then say "Oh so you don't like kids Then"....which couldn't be further from the truth.

hang on and stay strong, ignore the fuckers

I've already been called many names, from "closet gay" to "misogynistic loser" (exact words), by the fact that I'm 29 and single

HETERO MARRIED/ENGAGED COUPLES ARE AWFUL AND SHOULD BE LEFT ALONE AND IGNORED BY US, THE SINGLE AND/OR CHILDLESS PEOPLE

word

NinaB said:

SeventeenDayze said:

I think it's some sort of societal expectation, especially for women, to not be single at that age. There's a stigma that you're flawed or something's wrong with you. But, from what I can tell, people rush relationships to the altar just to get divorced later.

Over the last 10/15 yrs i can't tell you how much downright fuckry ive had to deal with from strangers, associates, some friends & family over the fact i haven't got children...sly or outright insults, presumptions, assumptions, pity, superiority, mocking etc etc. One of the things that infuriates me the most is when after they ask if I've got kids they then say "Oh so you don't like kids Then"....which couldn't be further from the truth.

Yeah, it sucks, tell me about it. These same people who pressure you about marriage, etc. are probably married and miserable. You could always respond with sarcasm and tell them that you're waiting for the divorce rate and infidelity rate to go down before you take the plunge!

JoeTyler said:

NinaB said:

SeventeenDayze said: Over the last 10/15 yrs i can't tell you how much downright fuckry ive had to deal with from strangers, associates, some friends & family over the fact i haven't got children...sly or outright insults, presumptions, assumptions, pity, superiority, mocking etc etc. One of the things that infuriates me the most is when after they ask if I've got kids they then say "Oh so you don't like kids Then"....which couldn't be further from the truth.

hang on and stay strong, ignore the fuckers

I've already been called many names, from "closet gay" to "misogynistic loser" (exact words), by the fact that I'm 29 and single

HETERO MARRIED/ENGAGED COUPLES ARE AWFUL AND SHOULD BE LEFT ALONE AND IGNORED BY US, THE SINGLE AND/OR CHILDLESS PEOPLE

word

Hey! If your parents hadn't been a hetero couple, you wouldn't be here!

JoeTyler said:

SeventeenDayze said: