You have an addictive personality. In all honesty, if I were you, I'd seek professional help. This story keeps repeating itself.

Now, I think you DO know that this guy is married. If you have no problem with that, knock yourself out. However, there are always consequences to one's actions. If you do it and he's married, I hope one day someone cheats on you.

V10LETBLUES said:

so....why is this in P&R again?

exactly. We have enough craziness in this forum already.

Stymie said:

You have an addictive personality. In all honesty, if I were you, I'd seek professional help. This story keeps repeating itself.

Now, I think you DO know that this guy is married. If you have no problem with that, knock yourself out. However, there are always consequences to one's actions. If you do it and he's married, I hope one day someone cheats on you.

Wow, so I flee from this guy and you still crucify me thanks

Oh, someone keeps asking why this is in PR, it's because it's about religion to a certain extent.

V10LETBLUES said:

No this has nothing to do with religion to any extent. The guy you have the hots for yes. But not this thread.

Well, I feel like a scumbag and I have been praying about this for months. I left the church and have tried to forget him and it's getting worse each day. I don't know why God isn't "removing" this from me when it's a sin and I'm asking God to help me and the problem gets worse? makes no sense...

SeventeenDayze said:

V10LETBLUES said:

No this has nothing to do with religion to any extent. The guy you have the hots for yes. But not this thread.

Well, I feel like a scumbag and I have been praying about this for months. I left the church and have tried to forget him and it's getting worse each day. I don't know why God isn't "removing" this from me when it's a sin and I'm asking God to help me and the problem gets worse? makes no sense...

You are not a scumbag, just a normal person. We have all gone through this before. It is normal. But as with everything in life, it's how you handle it that counts.

There are basically two different ways to go about getting over it. Stick with the first method. It's healthier.

Good luck. And don't post anymore.

1st method- keeping yourself distracted, the most common methods below..

1. Spending some time alone to reflect.

2. Spending quality time with friends and family

3. indulging yourself in ice cream

4. compulsively hitting the gym

5. dedicate yourself to work or charity (*best method)

2nd method

1. Heavy drinking or drug use.

2. stalking

3. killing rabbits and boiling them in your obsession's home

4. making endless threads about it on random internet message boards to complete strangers

[Edited 3/6/13 18:27pm]

V10LETBLUES said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Well, I feel like a scumbag and I have been praying about this for months. I left the church and have tried to forget him and it's getting worse each day. I don't know why God isn't "removing" this from me when it's a sin and I'm asking God to help me and the problem gets worse? makes no sense...

You are not a scumbag, just a normal person. We have all gone through this before. It is normal. But as with everything in life, it's how you handle it that counts.

There are basically two different ways to go about getting over it. Stick with the first method. It's healthier.

Good luck. And don't post anymore.

1st method- keeping yourself distracted, the most common methods below..

1. Spending some time alone to reflect.

2. Spending quality time with friends and family

3. indulging yourself in ice cream

4. compulsively hitting the gym

5. dedicate yourself to work or charity (*best method)

2nd method

1. Heavy drinking or drug use.

2. stalking

3. killing rabbits and boiling them in your obsession's home

4. making endless threads about it on random internet message boards to complete strangers

[Edited 3/6/13 18:27pm]

Whoa! That 2nd method is twisted and now you seem a bit scary to me, LOL

*runs and hides*

SeventeenDayze said:

V10LETBLUES said:

You are not a scumbag, just a normal person. We have all gone through this before. It is normal. But as with everything in life, it's how you handle it that counts.

There are basically two different ways to go about getting over it. Stick with the first method. It's healthier.

Good luck. And don't post anymore.

1st method- keeping yourself distracted, the most common methods below..

1. Spending some time alone to reflect.

2. Spending quality time with friends and family

3. indulging yourself in ice cream

4. compulsively hitting the gym

5. dedicate yourself to work or charity (*best method)

2nd method

1. Heavy drinking or drug use.

2. stalking

3. killing rabbits and boiling them in your obsession's home

4. making endless threads about it on random internet message boards to complete strangers

[Edited 3/6/13 18:27pm]

Whoa! That 2nd method is twisted and now you seem a bit scary to me, LOL

*runs and hides*

V10LETBLUES said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Whoa! That 2nd method is twisted and now you seem a bit scary to me, LOL

*runs and hides*

LOL

Well, I have done all that stuff and it gets worse, this guy is really under my skin...

I wish this were in General Discussion so I could get a good laugh without having to put my coat and shoes on and talk a walk.

SeventeenDayze said:

V10LETBLUES said:

LOL

Well, I have done all that stuff and it gets worse, this guy is really under my skin...

You boiled a rabbit

.

[Edited 3/7/13 1:30am]

SeventeenDayze said:

Beautifulstarr123 said:

You guys are killing me! I left that church months ago! And whoever said hornyness is only partially right. He's a nice looking guy, early 40s, amazing hair and he's my type in a lot of other ways. There's always been an intense attraction from the first time I saw him. I didn't even say hello to this guy or go near him for a year because I was scared to death of how I felt. It was that overwhelming...

Don´t knock the horny factor...that´s always a good indicator.

And keep in mind that he´s got great hair...not many men in their 40s still have great hair.

I say go for it unless you want to settle for less and end up with dudes with not so great hair.

It seems that his relationship is not the most stable one to begin with, otherwise he wouldn´t be trying to play mindgames with you and he wouldn´t be jealous. Try to make him a bit more jealous but don´t overdo it or else he might give up on you. Tease him a bit, wear some sexy clothes and think of some great lines with lots of sexual innuendo to get him excited and interested but try not to sound cheap and trashy...stay sexy.

Remember what the great Oscar Wilde said about temptation:" The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it."

Who knows, maybe he is extremley unhappy in his relationship or sexually frustrated, and maybe being with you is going to cheer him up and make him more energetic and successful at his job? That would be great for him AND the people he works with, unless he´s a whimp who´d be crushed by guilt but then again, I see no reason for feeling guilty.

You never know...you feening over him might boost his self esteem...the spring season is approaching, and I don´t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind.

And you don´t even know whether him and his wife have some sort of arrangement....maybe she won´t mind sharing him with you as long as you are open to that possibility?

Maybe he´s not as uptight as you think he is. Maybe they are swingers. Maybe you can help them re-ignite that spark in their relationship, and there´s nothing wrong with that.

This has been bugging you for so long, why torture yourself like this? Go for it and at least try to find out whether the feelings are mutual or else you´ll have to learn to live with regrets.

Ain´t nothing wrong with spreading some good lovin´.....´tis the season of the year you know....sun is shining, birds are chirping, do yourself a favor.

You don´t want to spend the rest of your life with that big question mark dangling above your head, do you? Give yourself a treat, have some fun, and who knows, this could very well be the start of a great new romance.

[img:$uid]http://thechurchupthestreet.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/temptation.jpg[/img:$uid]

[Edited 3/7/13 4:09am]

Beautifulstarr123 said:

toejam said:

Who said he had a wife?

This story was told before in the general discussion thread awhile back.

I was just about to say the same thing, this was a topic posted about a year or 2 ago

Is this about the minister of your church?

SeventeenDayze said:

V10LETBLUES said:

LOL

Well, I have done all that stuff and it gets worse, this guy is really under my skin...

That's because you WANT him to be "under your skin". I didn't read your "poetry"to him because the links were disfunctional, but the titles themselves already revealed the truth: you are turned on by the very fact that he is the pastor and/or even married.

Listen to Kooleaze, he has very good advice.

By the way, I love it that just because this thread is about horny thoughts for some pastor, whether really true or not, it's still in P&R!

O,K.

I have had feelings for a married man before. I didn't guilt trip myself about them. I thought about what qualities in him I liked etc.

I don't suggest you avoid acting on your feelings because it is "sinful". Instead avoid doing it for these reasons that even an atheist would agree on:

Realize that out of the 3 of you you will be the one that gets hurt the most and will come out the villianess.

Also, 85% of men that cheat on their wives don't leave them.

Do you really want to be the hidden one, the dirty little secret? The one that always has to understand when things come up? The one whose phone calls always go to voice mail?

Just try and figure out what it is that you like about him and find simular qualities in others.

[Edited 3/7/13 13:48pm]

[Edited 3/7/13 13:54pm]

Deadflow3r said:

O,K.

I have had feelings for a married man before. I didn't guilt trip myself about them. I thought about what qualities in him I liked etc.

I don't suggest you avoid acting on your feelings because it is "sinful". Instead avoid doing it for these reasons that even an atheist would agree on:

Realize that out of the 3 of you you will be the one that gets hurt the most and will come out the villianess.

Also, 85% of men that cheat on their wives don't leave them.

Do you really want to be the hidden one, the dirty little secret? The one that always has to understand when things come up? The one whose phone calls always go to voice mail?

Just try and figure out what it is that you like about him and find simular qualities in others.

[Edited 3/7/13 13:48pm]

[Edited 3/7/13 13:54pm]

What's fucked up about the whole situation is that he was leading people to think that he and I were having an affair and we weren't at all. That's why the lawsuit was filed and then things really got out of control. I bet the entire church thinks I fucked this guy but of course I didn't. It's a lose-lose situation for me and he defamed my character and whatnot and then tried to play victim. It was really bad....stuff got serious. trust me on that.

grow up

SeventeenDayze said:

Deadflow3r said:

O,K.

I have had feelings for a married man before. I didn't guilt trip myself about them. I thought about what qualities in him I liked etc.

I don't suggest you avoid acting on your feelings because it is "sinful". Instead avoid doing it for these reasons that even an atheist would agree on:

Realize that out of the 3 of you you will be the one that gets hurt the most and will come out the villianess.

Also, 85% of men that cheat on their wives don't leave them.

Do you really want to be the hidden one, the dirty little secret? The one that always has to understand when things come up? The one whose phone calls always go to voice mail?

Just try and figure out what it is that you like about him and find simular qualities in others.

[Edited 3/7/13 13:48pm]

[Edited 3/7/13 13:54pm]

What's fucked up about the whole situation is that he was leading people to think that he and I were having an affair and we weren't at all. That's why the lawsuit was filed and then things really got out of control. I bet the entire church thinks I fucked this guy but of course I didn't. It's a lose-lose situation for me and he defamed my character and whatnot and then tried to play victim. It was really bad....stuff got serious. trust me on that.

Why would he risk his church, marriage, and reputation over a lie. Not a very wise move at all.

SeventeenDayze said:

Deadflow3r said:

O,K.

I have had feelings for a married man before. I didn't guilt trip myself about them. I thought about what qualities in him I liked etc.

I don't suggest you avoid acting on your feelings because it is "sinful". Instead avoid doing it for these reasons that even an atheist would agree on:

Realize that out of the 3 of you you will be the one that gets hurt the most and will come out the villianess.

Also, 85% of men that cheat on their wives don't leave them.

Do you really want to be the hidden one, the dirty little secret? The one that always has to understand when things come up? The one whose phone calls always go to voice mail?

Just try and figure out what it is that you like about him and find simular qualities in others.

[Edited 3/7/13 13:48pm]

[Edited 3/7/13 13:54pm]

What's fucked up about the whole situation is that he was leading people to think that he and I were having an affair and we weren't at all. That's why the lawsuit was filed and then things really got out of control. I bet the entire church thinks I fucked this guy but of course I didn't. It's a lose-lose situation for me and he defamed my character and whatnot and then tried to play victim. It was really bad....stuff got serious. trust me on that.

So let me get this straight...

* First, you fall for a guy whose marital status you don't definitely know, despite the fact he leads a fairly public life? That's stupid, a lie, or both.

* Next, you carry on a relationship with this guy that, on the one hand, you claim was Platonic, but, on the other hand, was clearly intimate of the ilk that there'd be jealousy over other opposite sex friends... this, despite the fact you are both adults.

* Then, you are complicit in a situation wherein your name could be run through the mud to your worship community... and result in so much drama that a lawsuit would be filed.

* And even now you not only still declare feelings for this guy, but use language suggesting he somehow did something to you.

I certainly don't absolve this guy of his role in all this -- and I don't know all the factors at play here -- but a huge factor seems to be you have no discernible sense of responsibility. You make a "confession" of having done something vaguely terrible, but continue on in language suggesting you are the victim in all of this, and that God somehow should get you out of it. C'mon, now.

You've apparently cut off physical proximity to this guy. (You have, haven't you? :confuse ) Good. Now grow some ovaries and suffer through this. Find some new hobbies. Hang out with friends. Cry a bit. Bark up the leg of less toxic men. Eventually, feelings for this dude will wear off. But at some point you need to figure out how it is you allowed yourself to be made party in this situation. Otherwise it is liable to happen again.

[Edited 3/7/13 19:03pm]

SeventeenDayze said:

Deadflow3r said:

O,K.

I have had feelings for a married man before. I didn't guilt trip myself about them. I thought about what qualities in him I liked etc.

I don't suggest you avoid acting on your feelings because it is "sinful". Instead avoid doing it for these reasons that even an atheist would agree on:

Realize that out of the 3 of you you will be the one that gets hurt the most and will come out the villianess.

Also, 85% of men that cheat on their wives don't leave them.

Do you really want to be the hidden one, the dirty little secret? The one that always has to understand when things come up? The one whose phone calls always go to voice mail?

Just try and figure out what it is that you like about him and find simular qualities in others.

[Edited 3/7/13 13:48pm]

[Edited 3/7/13 13:54pm]

What's fucked up about the whole situation is that he was leading people to think that he and I were having an affair and we weren't at all. That's why the lawsuit was filed and then things really got out of control. I bet the entire church thinks I fucked this guy but of course I didn't. It's a lose-lose situation for me and he defamed my character and whatnot and then tried to play victim. It was really bad....stuff got serious. trust me on that.

Is this what that forgivenss thread was about?

This is upsetting because when you first desribed this situation, it sounded as if this pastor had no feelings toward you at all. It sounded as if you took his speaking to the enitre congregation as personal advances towards you.

You mentioned that pastor did things to keep his distance from you and you were advised to keep your distance and focus on God and your spiritual journey in Christ and not lust after a happily married man who has to live by a higher standard because he is accountable for leading an entire churchful of people who rely on him to keep his shit together.

Instead, you ignored the advice and pressed on, and like you were told.... got a lawsuit against you. Exactly as predicted... still you pressed on.

A restraint order? No surprise if they did get one against you. WHY let it get to that point? WHY???

Listen, that pastor does NOT want you. He doesn't want you at all, not even one little bit.

If he did, he would have been bending you in half on the regular by now. You need adventure, excitement and fun but you seek it in the most toxic of ways.

You sound like a socipath looking for excuses for your bad behavior, and if someone calls you on it, you call them a troll or say they are hating on you or something.

You should just seek therapy to find out WHY you want what you want in such a negative way.

Because if you don't, I predict you will come here starting threads on how to hide a body.

Seriously.

paintedlady said:

SeventeenDayze said:

What's fucked up about the whole situation is that he was leading people to think that he and I were having an affair and we weren't at all. That's why the lawsuit was filed and then things really got out of control. I bet the entire church thinks I fucked this guy but of course I didn't. It's a lose-lose situation for me and he defamed my character and whatnot and then tried to play victim. It was really bad....stuff got serious. trust me on that.

Is this what that forgivenss thread was about?

This is upsetting because when you first desribed this situation, it sounded as if this pastor had no feelings toward you at all. It sounded as if you took his speaking to the enitre congregation as personal advances towards you.

You mentioned that pastor did things to keep his distance from you and you were advised to keep your distance and focus on God and your spiritual journey in Christ and not lust after a happily married man who has to live by a higher standard because he is accountable for leading an entire churchful of people who rely on him to keep his shit together.

Instead, you ignored the advice and pressed on, and like you were told.... got a lawsuit against you. Exactly as predicted... still you pressed on.

A restraint order? No surprise if they did get one against you. WHY let it get to that point? WHY???

Listen, that pastor does NOT want you. He doesn't want you at all, not even one little bit.

If he did, he would have been bending you in half on the regular by now. You need adventure, excitement and fun but you seek it in the most toxic of ways.

You sound like a socipath looking for excuses for your bad behavior, and if someone calls you on it, you call them a troll or say they are hating on you or something.

You should just seek therapy to find out WHY you want what you want in such a negative way.

Because if you don't, I predict you will come here starting threads on how to hide a body.

Seriously.

Restraining order? I never said anything about that! Everything else you wrote, I'm not going to respond to because you are filling in blanks with stuff and I have no idea where you're getting these ideas from.

The earlier advice you gave me was good enough and I agreed, now it seems you're saying something else. Painted lady, do you wanna argue with me or something?

SeventeenDayze said:

paintedlady said:

Is this what that forgivenss thread was about?

This is upsetting because when you first desribed this situation, it sounded as if this pastor had no feelings toward you at all. It sounded as if you took his speaking to the enitre congregation as personal advances towards you.

You mentioned that pastor did things to keep his distance from you and you were advised to keep your distance and focus on God and your spiritual journey in Christ and not lust after a happily married man who has to live by a higher standard because he is accountable for leading an entire churchful of people who rely on him to keep his shit together.

Instead, you ignored the advice and pressed on, and like you were told.... got a lawsuit against you. Exactly as predicted... still you pressed on.

A restraint order? No surprise if they did get one against you. WHY let it get to that point? WHY???

Listen, that pastor does NOT want you. He doesn't want you at all, not even one little bit.

If he did, he would have been bending you in half on the regular by now. You need adventure, excitement and fun but you seek it in the most toxic of ways.

You sound like a socipath looking for excuses for your bad behavior, and if someone calls you on it, you call them a troll or say they are hating on you or something.

You should just seek therapy to find out WHY you want what you want in such a negative way.

Because if you don't, I predict you will come here starting threads on how to hide a body.

Seriously.

Restraining order? I never said anything about that! Everything else you wrote, I'm not going to respond to because you are filling in blanks with stuff and I have no idea where you're getting these ideas from.

The earlier advice you gave me was good enough and I agreed, now it seems you're saying something else. Painted lady, do you wanna argue with me or something?

No... I am frustrated.

You sound like and attractive fun and exciting woman who has a lot going for her.

WHY in the fuck do you want some tired piece of pastor?

Seriously! I don't care how fine he is... there is always more dick! ALWAYS!

Do you ever step back and realize your posts reek of desperation, like you are on some sort of deserted island, with blinders on thinking that the current guy is THE only guy left on the planet?

Girl, seek a healthy relationship. Why even share a dick at all???

You know very well that you can get another fine assed man.

You just have to let go of this bad habit of wanting these men, who have issues or are not what you should be seeking at all.

I an frustrated that you do not have more faith in yourself... I know you can do wayyyy better than somebody else's guy.

You like dating, you like having fun, you do volunteer work and are educated... you sound like you are young and intelligent, with a sexy side.

What are you saying to men that you have to limit yourself?

paintedlady said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Restraining order? I never said anything about that! Everything else you wrote, I'm not going to respond to because you are filling in blanks with stuff and I have no idea where you're getting these ideas from.

The earlier advice you gave me was good enough and I agreed, now it seems you're saying something else. Painted lady, do you wanna argue with me or something?

No... I am frustrated.

You sound like and attractive fun and exciting woman who has a lot going for her.

WHY in the fuck do you want some tired piece of pastor?

Seriously! I don't care how fine he is... there is always more dick! ALWAYS!

Do you ever step back and realize your posts reek of desperation, like you are on some sort of deserted island, with blinders on thinking that the current guy is THE only guy left on the planet?

Girl, seek a healthy relationship. Why even share a dick at all???

You know very well that you can get another fine assed man.

You just have to let go of this bad habit of wanting these men, who have issues or are not what you should be seeking at all.

I an frustrated that you do not have more faith in yourself... I know you can do wayyyy better than somebody else's guy.

You like dating, you like having fun, you do volunteer work and are educated... you sound like you are young and intelligent, with a sexy side.

What are you saying to men that you have to limit yourself?

Why did you assume the lawsuit was against ME? And that dude said a lot of shit about me to make all these guys think I was fucking him. There's a lot more to the whole situation but um, whoever said I was sharing this man's dick, LOL! I think he's attractive but I never shagged him! LOL

do you know where he lives?.. if so, does he have a big tree in his yard?

you could buy a mandolin and sit in the tree singing him songs of love with beautiful celtic melodies

that would be kinda romantic

you could maybe buy a catwoman suit and grab his leg and purr when you see him

that would be kinda sexy

you could get his name tattoed on your cheek (face).... that will prove to him that you are meant to be together

that would be kinda poetic

you could have "yours and his" face masks made and put them on mokeys and get the monkeys to sit in the back of church kissing and cuddling and eating bananas and generally having a frollicky good time

that would be kinda creative

or

you could just grow up

MoBetterBliss said:

do you know where he lives?.. if so, does he have a big tree in his yard?

you could buy a mandolin and sit in the tree singing him songs of love with beautiful celtic melodies

that would be kinda romantic

you could maybe buy a catwoman suit and grab his leg and purr when you see him

that would be kinda sexy

you could get his name tattoed on your cheek (face).... that will prove to him that you are meant to be together

that would be kinda poetic

you could have "yours and his" face masks made and put them on mokeys and get the monkeys to sit in the back of church kissing and cuddling and eating bananas and generally having a frollicky good time

that would be kinda creative

or

you could just grow up

LOL@ or you could just grow up

You guys are killing me

SeventeenDayze said:

paintedlady said:

No... I am frustrated.

You sound like and attractive fun and exciting woman who has a lot going for her.

WHY in the fuck do you want some tired piece of pastor?

Seriously! I don't care how fine he is... there is always more dick! ALWAYS!

Do you ever step back and realize your posts reek of desperation, like you are on some sort of deserted island, with blinders on thinking that the current guy is THE only guy left on the planet?

Girl, seek a healthy relationship. Why even share a dick at all???

You know very well that you can get another fine assed man.

You just have to let go of this bad habit of wanting these men, who have issues or are not what you should be seeking at all.

I an frustrated that you do not have more faith in yourself... I know you can do wayyyy better than somebody else's guy.

You like dating, you like having fun, you do volunteer work and are educated... you sound like you are young and intelligent, with a sexy side.

What are you saying to men that you have to limit yourself?

Why did you assume the lawsuit was against ME? And that dude said a lot of shit about me to make all these guys think I was fucking him. There's a lot more to the whole situation but um, whoever said I was sharing this man's dick, LOL! I think he's attractive but I never shagged him! LOL

Fair enough, the lawsuit isn't against you nor is it a restraint order...

but you leave enough room for speculation.

So, you aren't humping dude, but you admit that he is "Under your skin" and you want this guy.

Now... admittingly he may be a good looking man, but if you got his attention... you surely can get any others man's attention who is just as good looking elsewhere and single.

Why take on the drama of a man with sloppy game?

Why not just aim at other adventures that will not take so much work/drama/negativity.

The "negativity" I speak of is any situation where you get dogged and talked about in a way where you are labeled as some homewrecker.

You don't need that...

So are you just sick of dating or do you like the challenge of a difficult situation?