[img:$uid]http://i40.tinypic.com/18cbp1.jpg[/img:$uid]

April 08, 2012

Link

Vanessa Williams made viewers laugh with her comedic turns on Ugly Betty and Desperate Housewives, but the singer/actress is now sharing a dark look into her past with her new memoir, You Have No Idea.

In the book, excerpted by People, Williams reveals that she was molested when she was just 10 years old. While visiting family friends in California, the family's 18-year-old daughter entered her room and "pulled down the underwear of my cotton baby-doll pajamas," Williams writes. "'What are you doing?' I asked. 'Don't worry -- it'll feel good.' I lay there paralyzed. What was going on? I didn't speak. She kept at it for I don't know how long. She slid my underwear back up and whispered: 'Don't tell anyone.'"

Williams kept the incident a secret for many years but says the gravity of the situation didn't affect her until college. "After that trip I felt something change in me," she writes. "I had always been defiant, but I became a bit more rebellious. I began to pull away from my parents."

Williams also addresses her nude photo scandal, which cost her the Miss America crown in 1984. She says that honesty is the best policy when it comes to addressing the past, and explains why she tells her own children the full truth about that incident.

"When my kids have asked about Miss America, those photos or any other part of my life, I told them what I always tell them -- the truth," she says. "After all, it was part of my journey that led me to them and to where I am today."

Williams has four children: three from her first marriage to manager Ramon Hervey II and one from her marriage to former NBA star Rick Fox.

I know that, unfortunately, any cruelty that people are capable of are happening somewhere, but still - an 18 year-old girl molesting a 10-year old girl?

I am realizing there are so many female predators that go uncaught and undetected. All the women I know that were assaulted sexually as children were molested by a female relative or family friend in a simliar way that Ms. Williams experienced.

I have also witnessed older women my age (40+) look at my sons and make sexual comments about them IN FRONT OF ME!!!!! Like that shit was even remotely OK.

One example was that with my younger son at the time he was 9:

Friend comes to my house and hugs my son (normal.... so I thought) until I heard her say to him, "Oooh babyboy you are sooo fine, you know you are fine right?" ..... "Oh, Imma get at you in about 5 years." Sick and gross.

I wanted to reach for my butcher knife and kill the nasty bitch right there, instead I kept my cool and told my kids to go to there rooms and NEVER leave them until the bitch was gone.

Me and that woman no longer speak... actually most women I know (almost all of them) have said some crazy shit to my boys at some time or another. I keep all women except 3 out of my house and I DON'T do sleep overs at all (regarding their children and mines).

When they ask I say "Hell no, we don't do sleep overs.", and they don't babysit for me either.

This is why I have major issues with women who view boys (and teenagers) in sexual ways, to me they are phedophiles. Just as bad as any nasty assed old pervert guy wanting to rape a little girl... actually the women to me are worse.

spell edits.

[Edited 4/8/12 8:58am]

paintedlady said:

I am realizing there are so many female predators that go uncaught and undetected. All the women I know that were assaulted sexually as children were molested by a female relative or family friend in a simliar way that Ms. Williams experienced.

I have also witnessed older women my age (40+) look at my sons and make sexual comments about them IN FRONT OF ME!!!!! Like that shit was even remotely OK.

One example was that with my younger son at the time he was 9:

Friend comes to my house and hugs my son (normal.... so I thought) until I heard her say to him, "Oooh babyboy you are sooo fine, you know you are fine right?" ..... "Oh, Imma get at you in about 5 years." Sick and gross.

I wanted to reach for my butcher knife and kill the nesty bitch right there, instead I kept my cool and told my kids to go to there rooms and NEVER leave them until the bitch was gone.

Me and that women no longer speak... actually most women I know (almost all of them) have said some crazy shit to my boys at some time or another. I keep all women except 3 out of my house and I DON'T do sleep overs at all.

When they ask I say "Hell no, we don't do sleep overs.", and they don't babysit for me either.

This is why I have major issues with women who view boys (and teenagers) in sexual ways, to me they are phedophiles. Just as bad as any nasty assed old pervert guy wanting to rape a little girl... actually the women to me are worse.

Preach!

Women to me are worse as well. And no one suspects them because they assume a woman has maternal instincts and can't be as sociopathic as men in that department. Guess again.

There's barely any decency in people anymore...men and women.

[Edited 4/8/12 8:55am]

That's so disgusting

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

Preach!

Women to me are worse as well. And no one suspects them because they assume a woman has maternal instincts and can't be as sociopathic as men in that department. Guess again.

There's barely any decency in people anymore...men and women.

[Edited 4/8/12 8:55am]

I hope in the future more women are prosecuted (as they should be) for crimes of sexual assault.

Parents be more careful around women with your children, not all of them are "safe" to have around your children.

Scary.

[Edited 4/8/12 9:02am]

paintedlady said:

I am realizing there are so many female predators that go uncaught and undetected. All the women I know that were assaulted sexually as children were molested by a female relative or family friend in a simliar way that Ms. Williams experienced.

I have also witnessed older women my age (40+) look at my sons and make sexual comments about them IN FRONT OF ME!!!!! Like that shit was even remotely OK.

One example was that with my younger son at the time he was 9:

Friend comes to my house and hugs my son (normal.... so I thought) until I heard her say to him, "Oooh babyboy you are sooo fine, you know you are fine right?" ..... "Oh, Imma get at you in about 5 years." Sick and gross.

I wanted to reach for my butcher knife and kill the nasty bitch right there, instead I kept my cool and told my kids to go to there rooms and NEVER leave them until the bitch was gone.

Me and that woman no longer speak... actually most women I know (almost all of them) have said some crazy shit to my boys at some time or another. I keep all women except 3 out of my house and I DON'T do sleep overs at all (regarding their children and mines).

When they ask I say "Hell no, we don't do sleep overs.", and they don't babysit for me either.

This is why I have major issues with women who view boys (and teenagers) in sexual ways, to me they are phedophiles. Just as bad as any nasty assed old pervert guy wanting to rape a little girl... actually the women to me are worse.

spell edits.

[Edited 4/8/12 8:58am]

What you said about female pedophiles is very true. But those women who were talking about your son in such a sexually charged manner I don't know what's wrong with these type of people. So sad.

Good on Ms. Williams for talking about this sort of thing. I hope she found the support she needed to heal, and I hope some others are inspired to find it through her account.

I was never physically molested by anyone, but as I recall things ranging from persistent unwanted flirting to downright sexually attacking things suggested to me as a child -- by friends of my older sister and parents, by classmates, by strangers, even by folk at my church -- I honestly can't recall any of them having come from a male. I think the assumption is that boys are gratified by that sort of thing from females; that they welcome it as part of what makes them a man. I didn't dig it.

paintedlady said:

I am realizing there are so many female predators that go uncaught and undetected. All the women I know that were assaulted sexually as children were molested by a female relative or family friend in a simliar way that Ms. Williams experienced.

I have also witnessed older women my age (40+) look at my sons and make sexual comments about them IN FRONT OF ME!!!!! Like that shit was even remotely OK.

One example was that with my younger son at the time he was 9:

Friend comes to my house and hugs my son (normal.... so I thought) until I heard her say to him, "Oooh babyboy you are sooo fine, you know you are fine right?" ..... "Oh, Imma get at you in about 5 years." Sick and gross.

I wanted to reach for my butcher knife and kill the nasty bitch right there, instead I kept my cool and told my kids to go to there rooms and NEVER leave them until the bitch was gone.

Me and that woman no longer speak... actually most women I know (almost all of them) have said some crazy shit to my boys at some time or another. I keep all women except 3 out of my house and I DON'T do sleep overs at all (regarding their children and mines).

When they ask I say "Hell no, we don't do sleep overs.", and they don't babysit for me either.

This is why I have major issues with women who view boys (and teenagers) in sexual ways, to me they are phedophiles. Just as bad as any nasty assed old pervert guy wanting to rape a little girl... actually the women to me are worse.

spell edits.

[Edited 4/8/12 8:58am]

You're so right Painted lady! A few years back my mother travelled to New York to see an old friend she'd grown up with and brought my brother along who was around 19 at the time, the woman kept huggin on him and saying freaky things, even asking my mother if she thought he might date her?! WTF!? My mom was so freaked, she left early! People are damn crazy.....

Now I know why my mom didn't allow to me to attend sleepovers. I used to think she was overzealous and too sheltering...but as I get older, I now understand why my parents made some of the decisions during my childhood that I felt were unnecessary and lame when I was a kid.

Lammastide said:

Good on Ms. Williams for talking about this sort of thing. I hope she found the support she needed to heal, and I hope some others are inspired to find it through her account.

I was never physically molested by anyone, but as I recall things ranging from persistent unwanted flirting to downright sexually attacking things suggested to me as a child -- by friends of my older sister and parents, by classmates, by strangers, even by folk at my church -- I honestly can't recall any of them having come from a male. I think the assumption is that boys are gratified by that sort of thing from females; that they welcome it as part of what makes them a man. I didn't dig it.

I agree with you that some women/older girls see their actions as just "making boys men". I will always see it as paedophilia. A mind shouldn't go to sexual thoughts when a person looks at any child male or female.... somthing's wrong with that person if they do. I think a person like that likes power, just like a rapist.

lauralevesque said:

You're so right Painted lady! A few years back my mother travelled to New York to see an old friend she'd grown up with and brought my brother along who was around 19 at the time, the woman kept huggin on him and saying freaky things, even asking my mother if she thought he might date her?! WTF!? My mom was so freaked, she left early! People are damn crazy.....

I know your mom musta wanted to go psycho-mom on a horny heffa [img:$uid]http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc99/gataloca_bucket/maryluvs_u075.gif[/img:$uid]

... I am glad your mom caught that hot mess.

I like your mom!

missfee said:

Now I know why my mom didn't allow to me to attend sleepovers. I used to think she was overzealous and too sheltering...but as I get older, I now understand why my parents made some of the decisions during my childhood that I felt were unnecessary and lame when I was a kid.

Back in the day we did sleepovers!!! Now.... HELLLZZZZZ naw!!! Some chicks be licking thier lips at my kids, naw...

Gotta keep those babies protected! [img:$uid]http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc99/gataloca_bucket/maryluvs_u075.gif[/img:$uid]

paintedlady said:

lauralevesque said:

You're so right Painted lady! A few years back my mother travelled to New York to see an old friend she'd grown up with and brought my brother along who was around 19 at the time, the woman kept huggin on him and saying freaky things, even asking my mother if she thought he might date her?! WTF!? My mom was so freaked, she left early! People are damn crazy.....

I know your mom musta wanted to go psycho-mom on a horny heffa [img:$uid]http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc99/gataloca_bucket/maryluvs_u075.gif[/img:$uid]

... I am glad your mom caught that hot mess.

I like your mom!

missfee said:

Now I know why my mom didn't allow to me to attend sleepovers. I used to think she was overzealous and too sheltering...but as I get older, I now understand why my parents made some of the decisions during my childhood that I felt were unnecessary and lame when I was a kid.

Same here. My mother was so afraid of something happening to me she kept me on lock down.

I was never physically molested by anyone either, but I remember being targeted by 2 men when I was still under 14. One guy in particular I'll never forget...

He was a young guy (late 20's to early 30's) and his parents knew my parents. We'd visit on the weekends because they lived close to us. And I initially liked him. Friendly, smart. We'd play chess everytime I visited.

And then something changed. I heard that his older brother went back to Iran and married a much younger woman (think 18-19). That's when things got wierd. I remember after that, he started wanting to touch me inappropriately, or brushing up against me, telling me I was pretty, or trying to get me alone. I was 13-14 at the time, and I didn't know what to make of that. My parents saw what he was doing and never visited that house again. My mother wanted to gouge his eyes out she was angry.

A couple of years later, we heard he got married and he invited my family over to meet his new wife. I thought he'd grown out of that silly behaviour but nope. He pretended he was falling and made a grab for my thigh RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS.

My mother took me out of there and we've never seen him again. Good riddance.

I was lucky my mother was vigilent with me. I can't help but think though how many others he's tried that with...and how many didn't get away.

Humans.................

paintedlady said:

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

Preach!

Women to me are worse as well. And no one suspects them because they assume a woman has maternal instincts and can't be as sociopathic as men in that department. Guess again.

There's barely any decency in people anymore...men and women.

[Edited 4/8/12 8:55am]

I hope in the future more women are prosecuted (as they should be) for crimes of sexual assault.

Parents be more careful around women with your children, not all of them are "safe" to have around your children.

Scary.

[Edited 4/8/12 9:02am]

im with this. the numbers of female pedophiles has always been lower than males but significant.

i was raped by a teenage boy at age 5. i later went to a group therapy to work thru it. there were 12 in the group - 3 men, 9 women. 2 of the men were molested by their mothers, 3 of the women were molested by a friends older sister like vanessa was.

wavesofbliss said:

paintedlady said:

I hope in the future more women are prosecuted (as they should be) for crimes of sexual assault.

Parents be more careful around women with your children, not all of them are "safe" to have around your children.

Scary.

[Edited 4/8/12 9:02am]

im with this. the numbers of female pedophiles has always been lower than males but significant.

i was raped by a teenage boy at age 5. i later went to a group therapy to work thru it. there were 12 in the group - 3 men, 9 women. 2 of the men were molested by their mothers, 3 of the women were molested by a friends older sister like vanessa was.

paintedlady said:

One example was that with my younger son at the time he was 9:

Friend comes to my house and hugs my son (normal.... so I thought) until I heard her say to him, "Oooh babyboy you are sooo fine, you know you are fine right?" ..... "Oh, Imma get at you in about 5 years." Sick and gross.

that's extra-sick and extra-gross considering that they said that in front of you...

some people...

Somehow paintedlady's story reminds me of the Bernie Mac Show episode where the crazy aunt(Niecy Nash) stays over for a couple of days, and before she left she said to Jordan "Ooh you got big feet, you know what that means?".

Harmless humor, right?

The problem is, everything became so foggy with the sexual child abuse awareness, and that comes when folks say inappropriate things EVEN when they don't mean anything by it. People should learn when to STFU when it comes to other people's children, even if they're family.

Granted, that woman(paintedlady's visitor) said some outlandish shit. You're definitely a better woman than I, because the ignorant in me would've made me stick my foot far up her ovaries faster than she takes her next breath.

That just proves you can't always judge a book by its cover. It's not just men molesting kids.

It will be interesting to see if she brings up what kind of an effect, if any, the molestation had on her as far as her sexuality is concerned. Often times, we hear about males struggling with their sexuality after they have been sexually assaulted by another man but we never hear about female on female sexual assault and what type of an emotional effect or confusion it has on the victim.

Just sad!

Actually it kind of explains why she did those racy Penthouse photos she's known for. Her self-esteem was probably so low since the abuse and since she had been taken advantage of once before, the Penthouse experience was nothing new. I remember seeing a documentary on her and she said she didn't even want to do the photos and never thought they would surface.

Abuse by family members is unfortunately more common than we know. A child is more likely to be abused by someone they know and trust and this is often family, friends of family or authority figures.

I hope that bish who violated Vanessa either ended up in jail or got her ass beat for messing with the wrong kid.

Timmy84 said:

That just proves you can't always judge a book by its cover. It's not just men molesting kids.

True but the statistics, if we are to believe them, still show men as primary aggressors. I think one reason women don't get caught as much as men is because the evidence isn't as easy to spot. Think about it, the physical damage done from penile penetration of a child is more obvious then some chick using her dirty fingers, her mouth or rubbing her stank pussy on some poor kid. Men get caught because the damage they do can result in some kid needing medical attention or, when the victim is female, pregnancy. There was a story last year out of Detroit I think where some woman's boyfriend raped her 9 year old daughter and the little girl got pregnant. If the abuser had been a woman, she might have never gotten caught unless the child spoke up.

The other sad part of all of this as that, regardless of the gender of the abuser, when it's a family member it seems as if the rest of the family protects the abuser. There are families out there where so many kids had been molested by the same person within the family. I think that 18 year old's parents knew what she was and turned a blind eye. I think Vanessa was just one of any relatives she violated.

Just sickening.

paintedlady said:

wavesofbliss said:

im with this. the numbers of female pedophiles has always been lower than males but significant.

i was raped by a teenage boy at age 5. i later went to a group therapy to work thru it. there were 12 in the group - 3 men, 9 women. 2 of the men were molested by their mothers, 3 of the women were molested by a friends older sister like vanessa was.

thanks. it really freaked me out to hear from those peeps in the group. as has been said here before- its usually males who perpetrate sexual assalts- dads, step dads, uncles etc. to hear those men talk about their moms was just . totally crazy making to me, for a while. they say that sexual assaults are about power so i guess women caan be just as power hungry as men.

Not trying to go off topic here but this reminds me of Chastity Bono- I've seen her in interviews talking about her "first lesbian experience" and it was when she was like 16 and still in high school and it was with her mother's best friend! Who of course was her mother (Cher's) age. They didn't tell Cher and Chaz talks about this relationship like it was completely normal. WTF? To me it is completely F*&%ed up! This woman was the age of her mother and the friend of her mother, she should have been looking at Chaz as her friends child, not as a sexual interest! To me when I hear her in interviews talk aabout this woman, I think, "Predator!" - Wonder what Cher must of thought? I'd a beat that woman up!

lauralevesque said:

Not trying to go off topic here but this reminds me of Chastity Bono- I've seen her in interviews talking about her "first lesbian experience" and it was when she was like 16 and still in high school and it was with her mother's best friend! Who of course was her mother (Cher's) age. They didn't tell Cher and Chaz talks about this relationship like it was completely normal. WTF? To me it is completely F*&%ed up! This woman was the age of her mother and the friend of her mother, she should have been looking at Chaz as her friends child, not as a sexual interest! To me when I hear her in interviews talk aabout this woman, I think, "Predator!" - Wonder what Cher must of thought? I'd a beat that woman up!

Maybe she was saying it to cover it up by saying that it was "normal". I heard Chaz got turned out at around 13 or 14 by Cher's friend. Chaz didn't feel totally comfortable living a gay lifestyle, hence why she became a man. Ike Turner was sexually molested at six by an older woman but he also dismissed the abuse as "normal behavior".