obsessed said:

Tittypants said:

I wish I could tell you some legit answer, but I can't. I wouldn't do that, but, maybe he had a reason. You could have done something to turn him off [that's happened to me before].....

Thank you for your honest and understanding response. I guess I must have said something

wrong. We talked for several hours tonight...he even gave me a beautiful gift, and then he

laid this on me. But then he said, "I don't want to lose you". What the hell was that?

Men who do what he did and then come with this statement here means that he wants to screw other women, but still keep you a friend.

Going off of what you have said without knowing the whole story, I say cut your losses. You can't be friends with the guy if you still have feelings for him, point blank. Take some time away from him and revisit the situation of being just friends with him, if he's really worth being friends with, later when your romantic feelings have faded away.

It's not a "man" thing, it's a "human" thing.

People change.

Whether it's 6 months or 6 years, you can feel one way about a person up until a certain point and then change. You lose passion for that person laying next to you. Suddenly that person is no longer giving you "butterflies" in your stomach, and if you still "care" for them, then you want to be "friends".

At least that's how it was explained to me.

It happened to me serveral times with guys too.....lesson I've learned? Talk about stuff....don't assume something is there only bacuse you feel it's there.

He made you feel like a beautiful girl, but did he actually tell you you are his girlfriend?

its a new day .. start the day off with some humor

[Edited 1/19/12 8:59am]

Some folks like 2 play games 2 get what ever they want. When they are tired of playing...........they bounce.

What you describe is a common miscommunication between men and women. Men often feel that women are overinterpreting what they have said and done, while women feel that men are sending out signals that they don't follow through on. To bridge the gap I think you need both to make an effort; men need to realize that a sign of affection might be taken as a sign of commitment and women need to realize that usually what he says and does - for example tells you you're beautiful - it means that and only that.

obsessed said:

I've never felt so hurt in my life. My new relationship just told me we are friends,

after making me feel that I was the most beautiful girl in the world for the last six months;

not only that, but he told me who he is really attracted to sexually. How do you guys

look at this.

Why do you make woman feel like this, and pop some silly response like the above?

I really don't understand............I want answers....

i think you'll find someone who is better for you than he was. you will be better off without him in your life

Many men like to play with women's (and some other men's) hearts. They think it's funny. It makes them feel powerful. It's as simple as that. But trust, what goes around comes around.

just go over there n slap his ass senseless

kitbradley said:

Many men like to play with women's (and some other men's) hearts. They think it's funny. It makes them feel powerful. It's as simple as that. But trust, what goes around comes around.

This is bullshit. "Many men" are not like that at all.

It's really more often a case of EXACTLY what retina said.

What you describe is a common miscommunication between men and women. Men often feel that women are overinterpreting what they have said and done, while women feel that men are sending out signals that they don't follow through on. To bridge the gap I think you need both to make an effort; men need to realize that a sign of affection might be taken as a sign of commitment and women need to realize that usually what he says and does - for example tells you you're beautiful - it means that and only that.

laughters the best medicine ..

i keel u

[img:$uid]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y60/jonwolslau/achmed_the_dead_terrorist_176405-1.jpg[/img:$uid]

Doesn't matter why. The fact of the matter is you are way more emotionally vested in this than he is. You need to just get out. Call your single friends, get your skank-esque clothes on and go out for a couple weeks and forget about him.

you did not seem to want responses from women but I can not help but add a thought.

There are men that I think of as kind and thoughtful. They may or may not be physically nice looking. However some of these men do not do a thing for me sexually.

This brings up so many thoughts I have lately about people deciding to divorce or just cheat on their spouse when they get to be middle age. Sometimes the passion is long gone and they are only there to watch the children grow up together.

Sometimes I think the passion was never there. I honestly think that one man I know married his wife because she had her shit together and would be a good mom for their kids and got along with his family etc. I don't think he ever felt passionately about her.

When we meet those nice people who we don't want to fuck we really enjoy having them in our lives and it kills us to say, this isn't "love". We need all the decent people we can find and most of them will walk out the minute we say "I don't want a sexual relationship with you, i just want to be friends."

obsessed said:

I've never felt so hurt in my life. My new relationship just told me we are friends,

after making me feel that I was the most beautiful girl in the world for the last six months;

not only that, but he told me who he is really attracted to sexually. How do you guys

look at this.

Why do you make woman feel like this, and pop some silly response like the above?

I really don't understand............I want answers....

For real, how can you expect to get any straight answers to this?

1. Why do you make something that one guy has done to you to be about all men?

and 2. What more honesty can you expect from a guy than him telling you no lies, that he just wants to bone you AND your best friend?

He still wants me in his life, and I told him I don't really know if I can do that.

The gal he wants to shag is a good friend of mine...that's what makes it even harder.

I don't know the details about this and frankly I don't want to. But assuming what you have said is true, I can only say this:

You have been given a very clear choice. You can either tell him to go or you can go along with what he really wants.

It's up to you.

missfee said:

obsessed said:

Thank you for your honest and understanding response. I guess I must have said something

wrong. We talked for several hours tonight...he even gave me a beautiful gift, and then he

laid this on me. But then he said, "I don't want to lose you". What the hell was that?

Men who do what he did and then come with this statement here means that he wants to screw other women, but still keep you a friend.

Going off of what you have said without knowing the whole story, I say cut your losses. You can't be friends with the guy if you still have feelings for him, point blank. Take some time away from him and revisit the situation of being just friends with him, if he's really worth being friends with, later when your romantic feelings have faded away.

with benefits later on, you'll get a call - you know, for old times sake

Wow, lots of answers and suggestions, but I was really only looking for some empathy at the moment. Everyone has been through the same thing at some time or another, and my bet is that many of you would just like a hand on the shoulder, a hug, or an understanding look and hand squeeze from someone, rather than a lecture about what you should be doing.

So thanks, MachT and XxAxX

We all know words can hurt, and when it's newly fresh, (I at least) just want some recognition that it hurt me badly. Lectures can come later from people if I keep on wallowing around in it. lol

As most of you said in (some form or another) to just basically dump him, get over it, and carry on.

I do know that already myself, and it will happen....

The "I don't wanna lose you" line leads me to believe that this cat knows how strong your feelings for him are and he's trying to parlay that into keeping you "on the side". It will start out with you and he being friends, then one night he'll show up for a booty call.

Sounds like you're smarter than that. You know what you need to do, but you don't want to: WALK AWAY. Just the fact that he would even think to tell you we can only be friends so that he can get down with one of your best friends.... (He's banking on you falling for his "honesty")

Take it from a retired player...we all learned that shit in Pimpology 101.

[Edited 1/19/12 15:01pm]

And the reason I asked for a man's take on it was because I really kind of wanted a man's thinking here on what goes through their minds if they do stuff like this.

Not every man does however. My guess is that a majority of men don't. So I'm not by any means picking on men. I know men get their share of women basically doing the same thing.

StonedImmaculate said:

The "I don't wanna lose you" line leads me to believe that this cat knows how strong your feelings for him are and he's trying to parlay that into keeping you "on the side". It will start out with you and he being friends, then one night he'll show up for a booty call.

Sounds like you're smarter than that. You know what you need to do, but you don't want to: WALK AWAY. Just the fact that he would even think to tell you we can only be friends so that he can get down with one of your best friends.... (He's banking on you falling for his "honesty")

Take it from a retired player...we all learned that shit in Pimpology 101.

[Edited 1/19/12 15:01pm]

Thanks for that. It makes sense.

Retired player, huh? lol

retina said:

What you describe is a common miscommunication between men and women. Men often feel that women are overinterpreting what they have said and done, while women feel that men are sending out signals that they don't follow through on. To bridge the gap I think you need both to make an effort; men need to realize that a sign of affection might be taken as a sign of commitment and women need to realize that usually what he says and does - for example tells you you're beautiful - it means that and only that.

Great response. Like they say..women are from Venus, men are from Mars. Women seriously tend to overinterpret. I know I do, and I probably read more than was actually there.

And jon1967, all you went through to cheer me up didn't really work, but I feel like I should acknowledge your efforts at least. lol

obsessed said:

And jon1967, all you went through to cheer me up didn't really work, but I feel like I should acknowledge your efforts at least. lol

'didnt really work' means what ure thankfull that at least someone cared enuf to try or fuck off ya loser u didnt answer shit i needed answers for?, your welcome either way no redunculous acknow'ments nec .. tryns all one can do whether it works or not is irrelevant.

[Edited 1/19/12 16:27pm]

JustErin said:

kitbradley said:

Many men like to play with women's (and some other men's) hearts. They think it's funny. It makes them feel powerful. It's as simple as that. But trust, what goes around comes around.

This is bullshit. "Many men" are not like that at all.

It's really more often a case of EXACTLY what retina said.

What you describe is a common miscommunication between men and women. Men often feel that women are overinterpreting what they have said and done, while women feel that men are sending out signals that they don't follow through on. To bridge the gap I think you need both to make an effort; men need to realize that a sign of affection might be taken as a sign of commitment and women need to realize that usually what he says and does - for example tells you you're beautiful - it means that and only that.

Most of the men I've talked to or have come in contact with are. I can't tell you how many times I've had a guy tell me they lead women on or tell them what they want to hear just to get in her pants. They admit that they know the chick has feelings for them and sometimes are in love with them. The guys I talk to usually end up making light of the situation. Like it's a sport to get some chick all broken up after he gets what he wants and then breaks the news to her that he's not interested in a serious relationship, although he let her think he was. I think it's absolutely, positively disgusting! And when I tell them so, they always say I act like a chick. This is very normal behavior for most the men I know.

I was at the gym in the shower earlier this week. I heard some guy talking to a group of guys, and he blathers out, "All you gotta do is fuck a b*tch real good and get her to believe you care about her and she'll buy you anything you want." All of them were laughing and were in agreement with him. I was appalled and disgusted.

us men need to be kept in our place."Top Tip" treat em mean to keep em keen.

There's an old saying fellas laugh about..."lay the carpet down right in the begining and you can walk all over it for the rest of your life"...

Take control and dump the fucker "NOW" then see who's boss....you go girl

So what I get is that you were never romantically involved and were only ever just friends.

If that's the case, dude definitely has done nothing wrong.

Deadcake said:

missfee said:

Men who do what he did and then come with this statement here means that he wants to screw other women, but still keep you a friend.

Going off of what you have said without knowing the whole story, I say cut your losses. You can't be friends with the guy if you still have feelings for him, point blank. Take some time away from him and revisit the situation of being just friends with him, if he's really worth being friends with, later when your romantic feelings have faded away.

with benefits later on, you'll get a call - you know, for old times sake

Yep.

I've come to realize that at moments (this case can be included) that men actually clearly say what it is that they expect when it comes to you. It's just that (some) women, if they are really into the guy, just plain ole' don't want to hear it and don't. Instead, excuses are made, that possibly this guy can't be serious, or that he doesn't know what he is talking about because of all the "special" moments and time they've spent together. As a result, you are left confused and hurt. I can admit, I've been there myself (one guy I was in a long term relationship with) and didn't even realize it until I got hit like a mack truck, took my head out of the clouds, opened my eyes and looked at the situation for what it was and not for what I wanted it to be. We were on two completely different pages, I was in it for the long haul and he clearly, wasn't.

Go by the guy's actions. The old saying rings true (for men and women): Actions speak louder than words. ALWAYS.

[Edited 1/19/12 17:38pm]