I live out in "the sticks" (what inbred folk call the countryside) and I was biking into town last week and must've hit a high-speed of about, Ooooh, 20pmh and I caught glimpse of a flying insect just before it kamikazied into my eyeball almost making me crash my bike into a church...

.

10 mins later it happens again forcing me to emergency break (which on a bicycle is like trying to plate-spin while someone flicks your testicles) and the car behind nearly hits me.....

.

Anyway......2 days ago I go biking again, this time remembering my shades (I now have fly-shaped scars on my eyeballs ) but forgetting that singing loudly whilst biking A. makes me look like a prat and B. means that very large bugs including hoverflies can fly straight down your gob! .....so now I have to sing in my head, poor me.

.

Right what else was I going to say.....? Ermm, i cant remember.

Oh, I'm seeing a girl who is amazing and beautiful, but I'm thinking of breaking it off as I can't feel the "spark".

.

Real life doesn't make me cry, only sad movies (usually involving "goodbyes") bring out my tears. I didn't cry at any of my grandparents funerals.

.

I have the worst memory out of anyone I know (including my deceased grandfather, and he's gone) which scares me.....i swear by the time I'm 60 I'll only be able to remember what labelled items are.

.

I have never told anyone that I love them (except my parents and thats probably only happened twice).

.

I believe alcohol should be banned and therefore the emergency services time will be spent helping people that deserve it...........but I drink about a litre of vodka a week

.

I once trapped myself in the porch between two doors with only about 20inches of space to stand in and missed over half a day of work (thank fuck for mobile phones!!!)..... .....then managed to repeat the fuckup a month later.

.

Earlier this year I gave up masturbation for lent (43 Days ) which I was actually quite proud of and is by far the longest Ive gone without playing with myself.

.

Ok, ummm, all that was completely unnecessary, sorry for wasting your time folks!

Thanks for sharing love! I sing loudly too whilst on dog walks, I'm probably known as the crazy woman who sings off key thinking she's alone.

I have never told anyone that I love them (except my parents and thats probably only happened twice).

Because you never loved anyone or because you just didn't want to let them know that?

SexLovely said:

I live out in "the sticks" (what inbred folk call the countryside) and I was biking into town last week and must've hit a high-speed of about, Ooooh, 20pmh and I caught glimpse of a flying insect just before it kamikazied into my eyeball almost making me crash my bike into a church...

.

10 mins later it happens again forcing me to emergency break (which on a bicycle is like trying to plate-spin while someone flicks your testicles) and the car behind nearly hits me.....

.

Anyway......2 days ago I go biking again, this time remembering my shades (I now have fly-shaped scars on my eyeballs ) but forgetting that singing loudly whilst biking A. makes me look like a prat and B. means that very large bugs including hoverflies can fly straight down your gob! .....so now I have to sing in my head, poor me.

.

Right what else was I going to say.....? Ermm, i cant remember.

Oh, I'm seeing a girl who is amazing and beautiful, but I'm thinking of breaking it off as I can't feel the "spark".

.

Real life doesn't make me cry, only sad movies (usually involving "goodbyes") bring out my tears. I didn't cry at any of my grandparents funerals.

.

I have the worst memory out of anyone I know (including my deceased grandfather, and he's gone) which scares me.....i swear by the time I'm 60 I'll only be able to remember what labelled items are.

.

I have never told anyone that I love them (except my parents and thats probably only happened twice).

.

I believe alcohol should be banned and therefore the emergency services time will be spent helping people that deserve it...........but I drink about a litre of vodka a week

.

I once trapped myself in the porch between two doors with only about 20inches of space to stand in and missed over half a day of work (thank fuck for mobile phones!!!)..... .....then managed to repeat the fuckup a month later.

.

Earlier this year I gave up masturbation for lent (43 Days ) which I was actually quite proud of and is by far the longest Ive gone without playing with myself.

.

Ok, ummm, all that was completely unnecessary, sorry for wasting your time folks!

*blank stare*

...This is the most random post I've ever seen on any board, and that's saying alot.

So much 4 me 2 take in here....Whats up with ur gf???????Beautiful but no spark?????...What would she have 2 do 2 put that spark between u???Whats missing ???

Isn't Lent only 40 days? Also, the Sundays don't count. On Sundays, you get to do or have whatever you gave up. You should wank several extra times because God owes you and really wants you to.

I don't have a bike, but I'd probably use an iPod whilst riding it, rather than singing to myself.

armpit said:

SexLovely said:

blah blah blah

*blank stare*

...This is the most random post I've ever seen on any board, and that's saying alot.

I think that may have been what I was going for... Subconsciously of course.

Efan said:

Isn't Lent only 40 days? Also, the Sundays don't count. On Sundays, you get to do or have whatever you gave up. You should wank several extra times because God owes you and really wants you to.

I don't have a bike, but I'd probably use an iPod whilst riding it, rather than singing to myself.

You sing along with the music in the player.

Teacher said:

Efan said:

Isn't Lent only 40 days? Also, the Sundays don't count. On Sundays, you get to do or have whatever you gave up. You should wank several extra times because God owes you and really wants you to.

I don't have a bike, but I'd probably use an iPod whilst riding it, rather than singing to myself.

You sing along with the music in the player.

I think I was singing TTD when I nearly ingested a a july bug or whatever it bloody well was.

.

Im not religious so I dont really focus on the details but I did it as a dare and it lasted 43 days.......after which when I did finally knock 1 out it literally only took me 30seconds and the result was like what happens when u tighten a tap really quickly and the pressure gurgles out that load of water at the end ......and it was numb

.

wank edit

[Edited 8/15/11 15:10pm]

davetherave6767 said:

So much 4 me 2 take in here....Whats up with ur gf???????Beautiful but no spark?????...What would she have 2 do 2 put that spark between u???Whats missing ???

Sorry old chum, to much bollocks to take it at once?

.

I dont know I think theres something wrong with me, I dont really know what to do. She's pretty, lovely, beautiful, funny, playful.....everything I want in a girl.....but theres something missing.

.

Worst thing i can say about her is, shes an avid Christian

SexLovely said:

davetherave6767 said:

So much 4 me 2 take in here....Whats up with ur gf???????Beautiful but no spark?????...What would she have 2 do 2 put that spark between u???Whats missing ???

Sorry old chum, to much bollocks to take it at once?

.

I dont know I think theres something wrong with me, I dont really know what to do. She's pretty, lovely, beautiful, funny, playful.....everything I want in a girl.....but theres something missing.

.

Worst thing i can say about her is, shes an avid Christian

Religious nuts have to go. Maybe that's why there's no spark?

you know i think the rinse cycle didn't do its job this time

dJJ said:

I have never told anyone that I love them (except my parents and thats probably only happened twice).

Because you never loved anyone or because you just didn't want to let them know that?

I am a "love skeptic", I cant help thinking that love is simply a bond built up over time by a reciprocator due to the brain's need to be empathised, understood and agreed with to release certain feel-good hormones. Dependacy etc.

.

But Im probably just a commitment phobe But I know I haven't loved anyone....I haven't stayed awake thinking about anyone since I was a teenager, and apart from my immediate family theres no-one I would have my nuts lowered into a wood-chipper for.

^ guess i'll need to run the wash again. making my skin itch

SexLovely said:

davetherave6767 said:

So much 4 me 2 take in here....Whats up with ur gf???????Beautiful but no spark?????...What would she have 2 do 2 put that spark between u???Whats missing ???

Sorry old chum, to much bollocks to take it at once?

.

I dont know I think theres something wrong with me, I dont really know what to do. She's pretty, lovely, beautiful, funny, playful.....everything I want in a girl.....but theres something missing.

.

Worst thing i can say about her is, shes an avid Christian

Christian is ok and if shes as hot as u make out then being a christian is hot.......Does she hold back in bed???is that it???U want some1 dirtier???U must no inside ur heart what the problem is ok...

Regarding funerals thats interesting cuz i never cry either????.....eye go 2 alot of funerals why cry ??? im always happy and infact envious of the dead....eye no u can say it.........creepy right?

SexLovely said:

dJJ said:

I have never told anyone that I love them (except my parents and thats probably only happened twice).

Because you never loved anyone or because you just didn't want to let them know that?

I am a "love skeptic", I cant help thinking that love is simply a bond built up over time by a reciprocator due to the brain's need to be empathised, understood and agreed with to release certain feel-good hormones. Dependacy etc.

.

But Im probably just a commitment phobe But I know I haven't loved anyone....I haven't stayed awake thinking about anyone since I was a teenager, and apart from my immediate family theres no-one I would have my nuts lowered into a wood-chipper for.

We can blaim our brain for everything we do.

Including feelings like love

I never knew that love means risking your nuts. I would not risk my body for anybody.

Wait.

I would.

For my three brothers, I would.

So. How's your bike?

armpit said:

SexLovely said:

I live out in "the sticks" (what inbred folk call the countryside) and I was biking into town last week and must've hit a high-speed of about, Ooooh, 20pmh and I caught glimpse of a flying insect just before it kamikazied into my eyeball almost making me crash my bike into a church...

.

10 mins later it happens again forcing me to emergency break (which on a bicycle is like trying to plate-spin while someone flicks your testicles) and the car behind nearly hits me.....

.

Anyway......2 days ago I go biking again, this time remembering my shades (I now have fly-shaped scars on my eyeballs ) but forgetting that singing loudly whilst biking A. makes me look like a prat and B. means that very large bugs including hoverflies can fly straight down your gob! .....so now I have to sing in my head, poor me.

.

Right what else was I going to say.....? Ermm, i cant remember.

Oh, I'm seeing a girl who is amazing and beautiful, but I'm thinking of breaking it off as I can't feel the "spark".

.

Real life doesn't make me cry, only sad movies (usually involving "goodbyes") bring out my tears. I didn't cry at any of my grandparents funerals.

.

I have the worst memory out of anyone I know (including my deceased grandfather, and he's gone) which scares me.....i swear by the time I'm 60 I'll only be able to remember what labelled items are.

.

I have never told anyone that I love them (except my parents and thats probably only happened twice).

.

I believe alcohol should be banned and therefore the emergency services time will be spent helping people that deserve it...........but I drink about a litre of vodka a week

.

I once trapped myself in the porch between two doors with only about 20inches of space to stand in and missed over half a day of work (thank fuck for mobile phones!!!)..... .....then managed to repeat the fuckup a month later.

.

Earlier this year I gave up masturbation for lent (43 Days ) which I was actually quite proud of and is by far the longest Ive gone without playing with myself.

.

Ok, ummm, all that was completely unnecessary, sorry for wasting your time folks!

*blank stare*

...This is the most random post I've ever seen on any board, and that's saying alot.

I once trapped myself in the porch between two doors with only about 20inches of space to stand in and missed over half a day of work (thank fuck for mobile phones!!!)..... .....then managed to repeat the fuckup a month later.

okay, i have to ask. tried not to, but came back. how did this happen?

you don't have to say anything if it's embarassing edit

[Edited 8/15/11 18:31pm]

You are hilariously weird.

I'm going to read this when I have time.

JerseyKRS said:

I'm going to read this when I have time.

U couldve read most of it with time it took you to type and send that!!!!!

Spinlight said:

How it goes Spinny?

I love this thread

I am not sure if Im supposed to reveal things about myself, or question you further.

SexLovely said:

.

I have never told anyone that I love them (except my parents and thats probably only happened twice).

What do you do or say when someone says "I love you" to you??

yer a funny one.

THE BLACK DOG MAN

THE BLACK DOG MAN

THE BLACK DOG MAN

THE BLACK DOG MAN

........:CREEPERS:!!!!!!..:LOL:

SexLovely said:

davetherave6767 said:

So much 4 me 2 take in here....Whats up with ur gf???????Beautiful but no spark?????...What would she have 2 do 2 put that spark between u???Whats missing ???

Sorry old chum, to much bollocks to take it at once?

.

I dont know I think theres something wrong with me, I dont really know what to do. She's pretty, lovely, beautiful, funny, playful.....everything I want in a girl.....but theres something missing.

.

Worst thing i can say about her is, shes an avid Christian

Maybe you are gay.

Oh, I thought this was a coming out thread.

edit * forgot to add the sarcastic So you knew it was a joke.

[Edited 8/16/11 6:50am]