A friend posted on facebook that if she were a rock star, today would be the day she’d cancel her tour.

Dehydration? someone asked.

Exhaustion, was her reply.

And it made me envious. I have no doubt she’s exhausted because of hard work. It’s been a really long time since I was exhausted and genuinely earned it.

I posted along and asked if it was OK to cancel my own tour due to ennui.

I’m in a rut, folks. All things told I should be ecstatically happy and yet somehow I feel like I’ve just been going through the motions for quite a while now. I have a great boyfriend and a great relationship. I have great friends and a good social life. I have a roof over my head, nutritious food in my fridge and money in the bank.

I have a good job with a great boss, I am recognized for my intellect and efforts and I like the people I work with. I’m even given preference for the projects I want to do. And yet I’m bored to tears most of the time. I hardly want to drag myself out of bed to go most days.

I really have nothing to complain about. And I’m still feeling “stuck”.

How do you snap yourself out if it?

Maybe you need to be more appreciative or you could just be depressed? I mean all things are good but that dragging yourself sounds like a bit of depression. You could mix up your routine-perhaps a new hobby that could get you excited? If this feeling presists you might need medication.

Scratching, crawling, crying, screaming, pleading ... in attempts to find my way out of my own

TY for posting this thread Carrie ~ will be interesting to see what some people say and for me it helps me to feel "normal" ~ we all fall into them don't we ?

(hug)

My life has been twisted for so long now, it would hurt a lot of feelings if i told the story.......and since i like having friends........i can only empathize... (hug)

I do know what ya mean Carrie. Is it possible that you have everything you wanted and have met all your goals so now you have nothing to look forward too?

Like, every day is the same? You have everything you need to be happy so NOW WHAT?

Ya, I dunno the answer......travel some more?

Sounds like its time to change it up. Boredom sounds like what you have. In my perspective it mite be perfect for someone else. Sometimes we all need a challenge in life or to change something up. Complancy sounds like something you don't like which is a good thing. MAybe what you mite want to do is either make the good things you have better or throw a curve ball into your mix to make your life a little more unpredictable. I'm just saying ,just my opinion. I reserve the right to be wrong. LOL!

Must be in the water because I feel exactly the same way.

JerseyKRS said:

I feel like living is just one long rut, so I got nothing.

kewlschool said:

Maybe you need to be more appreciative or you could just be depressed? I mean all things are good but that dragging yourself sounds like a bit of depression. You could mix up your routine-perhaps a new hobby that could get you excited? If this feeling presists you might need medication.

Thanks.

It might be time to mention something to a doctor. I've struggled with depression most of my life.

It's just a bit different this time, I have nothing to blame it on.

Machaela said:

Scratching, crawling, crying, screaming, pleading ... in attempts to find my way out of my own

TY for posting this thread Carrie ~ will be interesting to see what some people say and for me it helps me to feel "normal" ~ we all fall into them don't we ?

(hug)

Why do you feel stuck? What are you stuck about? What's stuck?

Surely if you think about it long enough, you can come up with -what- is stuck. Or what isn't necessarily stuck, but could be causing or contributing to your stuckness.

myfavorite said:

My life has been twisted for so long now, it would hurt a lot of feelings if i told the story.......and since i like having friends........i can only empathize... (hug)

Thanks, lady.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

I do know what ya mean Carrie. Is it possible that you have everything you wanted and have met all your goals so now you have nothing to look forward too?

Like, every day is the same? You have everything you need to be happy so NOW WHAT?

Ya, I dunno the answer......travel some more?

hmm... It's partly that.

I don't want to say I don't have things I could work on. I certainly do.

I think I just don't know what's next.

thedawnofanewera said:

Sounds like its time to change it up. Boredom sounds like what you have. In my perspective it mite be perfect for someone else. Sometimes we all need a challenge in life or to change something up. Complancy sounds like something you don't like which is a good thing. MAybe what you mite want to do is either make the good things you have better or throw a curve ball into your mix to make your life a little more unpredictable. I'm just saying ,just my opinion. I reserve the right to be wrong. LOL!

This is good advice.

Spinlight said:

Why do you feel stuck? What are you stuck about? What's stuck?

Surely if you think about it long enough, you can come up with -what- is stuck. Or what isn't necessarily stuck, but could be causing or contributing to your stuckness.

I think it’s the job, more than anything.

I really shouldn’t complain. I have one, and a good one at that. But I have no passion for it. I never looked at my job as anything more than what allows me to do the other things I enjoy (travel, music, art, etc.) and that's always been fine. But I don’t think that’s enough anymore. It’s simply not how I want to spend my time.

Of course, I have no idea what else I’d do. So I guess I have to figure that out.

I say get back into running and start running another 1/2 marathon! It always gives me a goal to look forward to... Plus, you have to make yourself train everyday, and its a great way to stay in shape!

I agree with the others, I think you are bored! Maybe you and your honey could take up tennis, or golf, something to look forward to doing...

Hang in there, it will pass!

CarrieMpls said:

kewlschool said:

Maybe you need to be more appreciative or you could just be depressed? I mean all things are good but that dragging yourself sounds like a bit of depression. You could mix up your routine-perhaps a new hobby that could get you excited? If this feeling presists you might need medication.

Thanks.

It might be time to mention something to a doctor. I've struggled with depression most of my life.

It's just a bit different this time, I have nothing to blame it on.

I live with clinical depression. You may actually be onto something here. Perhaps this is your cue to take on that issue, instead of blaming it on circumstance.

Meanwhile, it could be that your rut is simply part and parcel of being unchallenged at this moment in your life. You mention that things are going swimmingly for the most part. No doubt your life isn't absolutely perfect, but sometimes persistent comfort lulls us to a certain feeling of futility. That's been the case in my own life from time to time. I've recently started local volunteer work with populations very much in need of all sorts of assistance, though, and taking on some of the crap they have to deal with has me feeling alive, purposeful and somewhat emancipated from my own whiny middle-class BS.

[Edited 8/2/11 10:50am]

CarrieMpls said:

Spinlight said:

Why do you feel stuck? What are you stuck about? What's stuck?

Surely if you think about it long enough, you can come up with -what- is stuck. Or what isn't necessarily stuck, but could be causing or contributing to your stuckness.

I think it’s the job, more than anything.

I really shouldn’t complain. I have one, and a good one at that. But I have no passion for it. I never looked at my job as anything more than what allows me to do the other things I enjoy (travel, music, art, etc.) and that's always been fine. But I don’t think that’s enough anymore. It’s simply not how I want to spend my time.

Of course, I have no idea what else I’d do. So I guess I have to figure that out.

Find yourself again. Think about going back to school and getting a/another degree. Take some free classes at your local CC! Here in SF, you can take free/cheap classes at almost all of the learning institutes here from City College to the Culinary Academy. YMMV, but you get the gist. Come back to yourself.

I find that when I feel stuck, it is typically me ignoring something I am trying to tell myself. I know what the answer is or could be, but necessity/responsibility keeps me from venturing forth into the ostensibly unknown.

If you had not said your relationship w/ your BF was doing well, I would've said that you may want to think about that for a minute (and I'm not one of those pro-forever single people either). But it sounds like you have to take a minute to indulge your passions a bit. It's okay to be good to yourself, you don't always have to be the good guy for everyone else.

Hope this helps.

[Edited 8/2/11 10:41am]

Thanks, Tina. Running wasn’t doing it for me – I was dreading my runs instead of enjoying them, so I gave it up a month or so ago. I bought a bicycle instead and that’s been my new thing. I even started bicycling to work a few weeks ago, and I really love it.

I feel like I’m doing all of the right things, eating well, exercising, changing my routine, finding new hobbies, etc. but it’s not quite working.

Lammastide – I think I’m going to schedule an appointment. It’s probably time to at least ask a doctor about it. I also used to volunteer regularly and found it really rewarding. Maybe it’s time to get back to that.

Spinlight – Really good stuff. Yeah, it’s definitely not the BF, things really couldn’t be better there. In fact, I think he’s in line with your thinking. He works for the University of Minnesota and offered to sign me up to go an open house there for adult evening courses and degree programs and stuff. I turned him down but I think I’ll start looking into it.

Wow. Thanks, you guys. I feel a lot better, all in a matter of an hour or so. This is quite helpful.

I wish I knew the perfect answer. I'm reading this book, The Success Principles, by Jack Canfield. It had a saying in there that if you are bored, you dont have enough goals. That's something I'm trying to work on myself, to first know what I really want out of life. I struggle with depression/ anxiety. I agree with others posts, maybe see a counselor/ therapist that can tell u if u do have depression, and if not maybe they can give u advice. Maybe it is a sign for some type of change that needs to happen. Or just adding something meaningful to your life, possibly something creative or that gives back. I find that community theatre acting gives me my thrill and yoga/meditation gives me peace. I guess in the meantime, focus on the positive and be thankful for the good things you have in your life- family, friends, boyfriend and a job that u like.

To quote Prince, "Life aint very funky, unless it's got that pop."

The answer:

You are ungrateful. So snap out of it. You are taking life way to seriously. So snap out of it. You should be thankful. So snap out of it. Nothing you wrote indicated you were having fun. So snap out of it.

Ecclesiastes 8:15

Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun.

duccichucka said:

The answer:

You are ungrateful. So snap out of it. You are taking life way to seriously. So snap out of it. You should be thankful. So snap out of it. Nothing you wrote indicated you were having fun. So snap out of it.

Ecclesiastes 8:15

Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun.

I realize how whiny this all sounds (as lammastide pointed out in reference to himself, but I’ll own it too). I have a damn good life when you look at it objectively. It’s a fair reminder.

And I actually have a lot of fun. I’m really good at having fun, come to think of it.

But I’m finding it hard enjoying the day-to-day. The daily grind. I recognize that this hardly makes me unique in the world but I haven’t always felt this way so I’m trying to figure out how to feel better about it. I know I need to snap out of it – the “how” is the question.

PurpleKittyK said:

I wish I knew the perfect answer. I'm reading this book, The Success Principles, by Jack Canfield. It had a saying in there that if you are bored, you dont have enough goals. That's something I'm trying to work on myself, to first know what I really want out of life. I struggle with depression/ anxiety. I agree with others posts, maybe see a counselor/ therapist that can tell u if u do have depression, and if not maybe they can give u advice. Maybe it is a sign for some type of change that needs to happen. Or just adding something meaningful to your life, possibly something creative or that gives back. I find that community theatre acting gives me my thrill and yoga/meditation gives me peace. I guess in the meantime, focus on the positive and be thankful for the good things you have in your life- family, friends, boyfriend and a job that u like.

To quote Prince, "Life aint very funky, unless it's got that pop."

Thanks for the kind words. I've fallen out of my yoga practice, it's time to get back into that again.

You need some more "me-time" I think. Like others said, more physical activity like yoga or exercise. If you are confused, try journalling or keeping a blog. If you think it's depression, see someone just to get it out and see how you could manage those feelings. Pills can help, as I'm on them too, but I really think they should be a last resort.

Maybe the key to happiness is finding a balance between Chaos and Bliss?

Perhaps the human mind needs some challange in the form of adversity every now & then to keep you going?

I will admit that for myself, with all the shit that's happening and the unraveling of my life...I actually feel more "alive" than I have in a long time. I mean, not that I particularly enjoy feeling shitty all the time and the fighting and the bitterness and all the other negative feelings that come with this...but I'm actually less NUMB that I was previously.

I don't know if I'm describing it properly.

Maybe you just need a little bit of adversity or angst to pull you out of the complacent bliss?

Did I tell you that me and the kids are rooming with you for the next couple of months? And I need to borrow your car and I have 2 dogs and a monitor lizard as pets.

[there...did that help?]

CarrieMpls said:

duccichucka said:

The answer:

You are ungrateful. So snap out of it. You are taking life way to seriously. So snap out of it. You should be thankful. So snap out of it. Nothing you wrote indicated you were having fun. So snap out of it.

Ecclesiastes 8:15

Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun.

I realize how whiny this all sounds (as lammastide pointed out in reference to himself, but I’ll own it too).

I need to backpeddle a bit : You've absolved me, but I hope I haven't even implicitly suggested you are being whiny, Carrie. I think how we experience problems and anxieties is largely relative -- and that discomfort is genuine -- so I don't discount folks' unhappiness just because their lives aren't in absolute shambles compared to other people.

I do hope you're able to slough off the ennui soon. I honestly know what that feels like, even as my outward life might appear golden.

[Edited 8/2/11 12:22pm]

My head must be wired backwards because I like 'ruts' - to have the same routine and for everything to be calm. Change is what freaks me out.

Nothinbutjoy said:

Must be in the water because I feel exactly the same way.

Take a holiday.....if that don't work you need to make CHANGES!!!