I've been hanging around at a crossroad in my life for a while.

I just didn't really make a choice yet,

am I going after a relationship and settle down,

will I pursue some career,

shall I just sell everything and live in the tropics,

I'm relentless when I choose, however, I don't make a choice.

When were you on a crossroad and what did you do?

I believe people are always at crossroads, in reality, and that we simply choose to acknowledge them some times more than others. You always have the choice of walking out your door and completely changing your history.

I can say that the one thing that inspired me the most to make decisions was when I finally simply made them for better or for worse. I remember hemming and hawing about moving to the West Coast. Been an East Coast southern boy most of my life and it was very symbolic to leave "home". It's like a different country, being all the way on the other side. However, one day I just sat up and said, "Fuck it."

If all choices on the table are reasonable enough that you could pick one and say, "Fuck it" and succeed then I say have at it. If choice is your only hindrance, you're a free man.

dJJ said:

I've been hanging around at a crossroad in my life for a while.

I just didn't really make a choice yet,

am I going after a relationship and settle down,

will I pursue some career,

shall I just sell everything and live in the tropics,

I'm relentless when I choose, however, I don't make a choice.

When were you on a crossroad and what did you do?

Last year, when deciding what to study. I made a mistake.
I made some strange plans and didn't listen to my heart. Actually I wasn't even trying to hear it because I was caught up in this strange illusion how I will make some sort of compromise with myself. I now learned it's wrong because I have to be who I am not. That consumes a whole lot of energy.

Do something you can really see and feel yourself doing. No decision will be completely right/wrong, as long as you consider satisfying yourself in as many ways as possible.

Spinlight said:

I believe people are always at crossroads, in reality, and that we simply choose to acknowledge them some times more than others. You always have the choice of walking out your door and completely changing your history.

I can say that the one thing that inspired me the most to make decisions was when I finally simply made themfor better or for worse I remember hemming and hawing about moving to the West Coast. Been an East Coast southern boy most of my life and it was very symbolic to leave "home". It's like a different country, being all the way on the other side. However, one day I just sat up and said, "Fuck it."

If all choices on the table are reasonable enough that you could pick one and say, "Fuck it" and succeed then I say have at it. If choice is your only hindrance, you're a free man.

That is the point, "for better or for worse." Therefore, decide carefully.

"to be, or not to be? that is the qwestion."

i have often been at a crossroad, most times not even knowin it... in these times someone tried to make my choices for me. of course i prevailed. life ask that we participate. the thing is no matter whut choice one thinks

he has made, i believe, one has only one life to live.

and that life will be lived accordingly.

I commune with Hecate ~

the only thing that is certain in life is that nothing is certain

[Edited 5/15/11 6:35am]

Just go with your heart.

Dont go off of what you think you should do.

Sometimes what you think you should do may sound better on paper but, a lot times it ends up being a disaster because your heart wasnt in it in the first place.

dJJ said:

I've been hanging around at a crossroad in my life for a while.

I just didn't really make a choice yet,

am I going after a relationship and settle down,

will I pursue some career,

shall I just sell everything and live in the tropics,

I'm relentless when I choose, however, I don't make a choice.

When were you on a crossroad and what did you do?

Why can't you do all three? Pursue a career in the tropics and settle down with someone there.

sextonseven said:

sextonseven said:

dJJ said:

I've been hanging around at a crossroad in my life for a while.

I just didn't really make a choice yet,

am I going after a relationship and settle down,

will I pursue some career,

shall I just sell everything and live in the tropics,

I'm relentless when I choose, however, I don't make a choice.

When were you on a crossroad and what did you do?

Why can't you do all three? Pursue a career in the tropics and settle down with someone there.

Yeah, I have been dreaming of that. However, I feel very at home in Amsterdam and have a great circle of friends here. If not for them, I would have left already. I think I just have to accept that I don't want to live without them and just have to stay here and pursue a career.

Life here is very expensive, and I don't want to have a family and pursuing a career at the moment. I'm too old for that. I would want to be able to spend time with my family and not be constantly stressed out by jiggling time and chores. I'd rather do one thing with all my heart and peacefully, than both with a lot of stress and unhappiness.

formallypickles said:

Just go with your heart.

Dont go off of what you think you should do.

Sometimes what you think you should do may sound better on paper but, a lot times it ends up being a disaster because your heart wasnt in it in the first place.

Well said.......... your heart has to be in it.

dJJ said:

shall I just sell everything and live in the tropics,

I'll get the plane tickets, you book the cabana!

When I've had a loss of direction in the past, I've made up a goal sheet. Just get a big piece of card, put a circle in the middle to represent you and then write all the major aspects of your life around it in their own circles around the edge of the card.

So 'Work', 'Family', 'Relationship', 'Friends', 'Happiness','Home' etc...

Then put the smaller stuff/issues inside the larger. this is the fun bit. write down stuff you want or stuff you want to achieve.

'Holiday', 'Car', 'Degree', 'kinky sex', 'get rid of credit cards', 'get a dog' whatever. Get as many as you can, big and small.

Then do the same with some stuff you've always said you'd like to do, but never really got round to for some reason or another.

Like 'go snowboarding', 'learn the guitar', 'watch a west end show', 'eat sushi', bungee jump for charity' again, whatever, big & small.

If you really want to get into it, look through some magazines and find pictures relating to all the things you've put on the board and stick them on in the relevant places.

Now, the most important step, put it somewhere that you see it every morning and every night. I stuck mine to the back of my bedroom door so I saw it first thing and last thing at night.

Then tick things off as you do them. Within 6 months you'll be really surprised how many of them you have achieved. And I'm not just talking the small stuff... And you'll be well on your way to achieving all the big, important stuff that you put on the outside circle.

If you're looking for a boot up the arse and a bit of direction, it works fantastically.

sextonseven said:

dJJ said:

I've been hanging around at a crossroad in my life for a while.

I just didn't really make a choice yet,

am I going after a relationship and settle down,

will I pursue some career,

shall I just sell everything and live in the tropics,

I'm relentless when I choose, however, I don't make a choice.

When were you on a crossroad and what did you do?

Why can't you do all three? Pursue a career in the tropics and settle down with someone there.

I know of at least one former-orger who is doing quite well as a dive instructor in Thailand...

I am in a similar crossroads right now.

I have already left the job (was planning it already but then the decision was made for me) and decided to end the relationship but I am now in a bit of limbo while I consider my next move.

I am conscious I've got to get my priorities right now before moving straight into something else and work out what I want deep down and not things to just get approval from people I know. I also want to find something fulfilling in the sense to feel I'm doing good, the right thing and on the right path.

I guess I'm going to do this by trying different things and seeing what works and what doesn't.

It's funny, I'm not really one for astrology but I recently heard about a thing called a Saturn Return, its when Saturn returns to your birth position every 29.5 years. It's meant to shake up your life a bit and get you to reassess your priorities.

Its strange as since that age there have been a lot of changes and shakeups. I think its also because I just had my 30th and the build up to that made me think...what am i gonna do with the rest of my life?

Hopefully will work it out soon.

[Edited 5/26/11 4:39am]