I walk on snow/ice like I'm a 90-year-old man with a bad hip. I'm a total dork.
If anyone video'd me falling on ice, it would be a 20-minute clip. I take FOREVER to fall down, like it's in slow-motion. But if you wait patiently, I will eventually fall flat on my ass.
Okay, just the description of that made me laugh like an idiot. If I actually saw you do it, I'd probably sustain internal injuries.
We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
I walk on snow/ice like I'm a 90-year-old man with a bad hip. I'm a total dork.
If anyone video'd me falling on ice, it would be a 20-minute clip. I take FOREVER to fall down, like it's in slow-motion. But if you wait patiently, I will eventually fall flat on my ass.
Okay, just the description of that made me laugh like an idiot. If I actually saw you do it, I'd probably sustain internal injuries.
True story: When I was a sophomore in college, there was a big snowfall and it was really cold, but not enough to cancel classes. I was cutting across this little field area on campus to get to my class, and there was a slight uphill part (embarrassingly slight, to be honest). I started to go up it, and in my effort to gain traction, I pedaled my feet like Fred Flintstone starting his car.
After a long, furious battle between my feet and the ice, I of course went down.
Okay, just the description of that made me laugh like an idiot. If I actually saw you do it, I'd probably sustain internal injuries.
True story: When I was a sophomore in college, there was a big snowfall and it was really cold, but not enough to cancel classes. I was cutting across this little field area on campus to get to my class, and there was a slight uphill part (embarrassingly slight, to be honest). I started to go up it, and in my effort to gain traction, I pedaled my feet like Fred Flintstone starting his car.
After a long, furious battle between my feet and the ice, I of course went down.
And then took the long way to my class.
I swear, there are tears rolling down my face right.now.
We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
Which one of you Brits called 999 reporting her snowman stolen?
It's alright now!
I found it over at my neighbours house.
You've adopted their accent very well since moving.
But I have to give you a for wasting emergency services' time.
Woman rings 999 to report missing snowman
POLICE IN BRITAIN have described a woman who rang the emergency services to report a missing snowman as "completely irresponsible".
The woman, from Chatham in Kent, dialled 999 after noticing the snowman outside her house had vanished. During the call she said: "It ain't a nice road but you don't expect someone to nick your snowman."
The woman believed the theft had warranted calling the authorities as she had used pound coins to make the eyes and teaspoons to make the arms of her snowman. She told the operator: "I haven't been out to check on him for five hours but I went outside for a fag and he's gone."
The BBC reports that an incredulous operator asked her if she was talking about an ornament, and she answered: "No, a snowman made of snow, I made him myself."
Chief Inspector Simon Black said: "This call could have cost someone's life if there was a genuine emergency and they couldn't get through. It was completely irresponsible."
He added: "We have spoken to her and advised her what is a 999 call, and this clearly was not."
You've adopted their accent very well since moving.
But I have to give you a for wasting emergency services' time.
Woman rings 999 to report missing snowman
POLICE IN BRITAIN have described a woman who rang the emergency services to report a missing snowman as "completely irresponsible".
The woman, from Chatham in Kent, dialled 999 after noticing the snowman outside her house had vanished. During the call she said: "It ain't a nice road but you don't expect someone to nick your snowman."
The woman believed the theft had warranted calling the authorities as she had used pound coins to make the eyes and teaspoons to make the arms of her snowman. She told the operator: "I haven't been out to check on him for five hours but I went outside for a fag and he's gone."
The BBC reports that an incredulous operator asked her if she was talking about an ornament, and she answered: "No, a snowman made of snow, I made him myself."
Chief Inspector Simon Black said: "This call could have cost someone's life if there was a genuine emergency and they couldn't get through. It was completely irresponsible."
He added: "We have spoken to her and advised her what is a 999 call, and this clearly was not."
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for wasting emergency services' time.
How could you resist my sultry sexy suffolk voice. 
God, that vid made me look bad!