I totally agree with PDogz on this one. The only thing that I will add is that The Lord works miracles. Whether you believe or not does not take away from the fact that He is a miracle worker. Of course that remark was a nudge for you to rely on the Lord, and he will direct your path as long as you are willing, faithful and eager. I don't want to sound too "preachy" and be a turn off, but to be honest my faith in God has been my only reliable remedy for anything. He focuses me when I allow him to do so. The important words being WHEN I ALLOW HIM TO DO SO. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I truly understand that "feeling". Although I'm your biggest fan...I'm also your biggest critic. Can you deal with that? | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Good perspective to have. Although I'm your biggest fan...I'm also your biggest critic. Can you deal with that? | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I've never had things get so bad that they couldn't get worse, so I guess not. But 6 months ago, my life was about as fucked as it has ever been. Most of the last year has been pretty miserable. Several years before that weren't too awesome either.
I feel like things are starting to look up. I just keep trying, keep doing the best I can at any given time, keep trying to be a decent person who deserves good things. I guess that's what hope looks like, in practice.
"What's 'non-sequitur' mean? Do I look it up in a Fag-to-English dictionary?" | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I look forward to it. MY COUSIN WORKS IN A PHARMACY AND SHE SAID THEY ENEMA'D PRANCE INTO OBLIVION WITH FENTONILS!! | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
more of a financial, unemployed, rock bottom...
Got to keep hustling, keep looking for work and keep getting up out of bed each day...it's hard but that's kinds why I'm not around here much anymore...nothing good to say don't say anything at all, kinda thing... | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I'll be thinking of you and hoping things look up very soon! | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Thanks beautiful!
I've been poor before so being poor again should be a little easier... | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Its easy to say but it wont be forever and youll look back and think it was jsut ablip when things really pick up again.
Lean on any friends you have....thats what they are for
| |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
If prince.org were to be made idiot proof, someone would just invent a better idiot. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I have been here before, only I was living in Armstrong Park in Louisiana. Anyway in someways it was peaceful because other then getting beat up or raped I felt like I couldn't sink any lower and the daily stress of sinking lower and lower each day was gone. I had not talked to my family and friends for awhile do to shame mostly. I have never had a substance problem or a legal issue besides eviction. Anyway it helps as some have said before to get some sort of therapy. In my case eventually after tons of changes and much persistance on my part, it was descovered that I am BiPolar and have ADHD. I have, by nature, poor focus and organizational skills and beating myself up every time my life fell apart didn't help. If you feel suicidal, admit yourself. You may feel like you don't matter but you do, or you wouldn't be here. I am fortunate to have an 8 year old daughter. (Got pregnant by the homeless boyfriend I met while I was homeless, this relationship ended but we still talk and are both doing better. He lives with his wife of 3 years and I have been living the same place for 6 years.) Anyway even as recently as this month I would have ended it all if it was not for the knowledge of how devastated that would have left my daughter for life. I could never do that to her. So I still plug along. I have made a few friends, not many. I depend a bit on the org. It makes me laugh and gets me outside of myself. Punkmistress was right, depression can be very self-absorbing and you need to get out of your head and your house sometimes. The worst thing to do is to isolate. I am struggling with a horribe hoarding and cluttering problem, as I have talked about on the babble thread and there hasn't been anything to really help. When it is cleaned it is other people that clean it and then when I can no longer afford the help it gets back to the way it was. I swear I would give up a few fingers if it meant getting rid of this issue. But I digress. The most important thing is to persist, as BklynBabe said , even when you go backwards and also socialize and try to find something that you can do to help someone else. Usefulness makes you feel like you do matter and can do more then suck up air.
There came a time when the risk of remaining tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Wow, that was some story. It was so interesting to hear your honesty and self disclosure like that. It just goes to show that when we see homeless people living in the streets, we never know who is really behind that person lurking in the shawdows. In your case, you seem to be a very insightful individual who is aware of her issues. I guess for starters with the whole hoarding clutter thing, one needs to look at that stuff one piece / article at a time and ask themselves if it is in anyway contributing to their true happiness. Or taking away from their overall happiness. Hoarding is a tough life long battle. It's like substance abuse and obesity...every day a struggle...everyday a self-talk...every day motivation to remain outside of your comfort zone for the greater good. It also stymulates chemicals in the brain because it serves to in some way relieve anxiety, which is why it is referred to as an anxiety disorder. In addition the biopolar diagnosis does not help matters. That in itself is a "re-inforcer" so it's tough to get from around that but definitely not impossible. I've seen some pretty strong people change some pretty heavy obstacles in their lives.
Sometimes we all need to hear stories like yours as it serves to let us put our problems and situations into perspective. As I'm sure that some stories that you have heard helps you to do the samething. Thanks so much for sharing.
Although I'm your biggest fan...I'm also your biggest critic. Can you deal with that? | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
It seems like every passing day within the past 8 months or so has gotten me closer to that rock bottom. The business is tanking, my wife and I are being dragged into her sister's nasty divorce, and I just got the news that my urine/blood test for life insurance shows an "anomaly." I believe I am approaching my rock bottom. But, I try to keep my chin up, knowing that each day holds the chance for a new opportunity and is another day that I get to enjoy my family and friends (yes, even you Orgers!). I also believe that everyone has at least one period of major trial or tribulation in their lives, many of us more than one. I believe it's to make us stronger, and to appreciate the happy times more. Right now, I would give almost anything to return to the happiness I had just a year ago--happiness that I took for granted at the time. But, I keep the faith and know that my current trials are part of a much larger picture, one that will make me a better person in the end. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Seems like you have a good outlook. I hope things improve for you soon and i'll keep fingers crossed for your urine/blood sample thingy.... Have they given you any indication of weather or not it's anything to be concerned about? | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Thanks, flo. Seems the problem lies in my GGT level, which is a liver enzyme that, when elevated, can indicate possible damage to the liver. I'm not a heavy drinker, I'm not obese (I need to drop maybe 10 pounds), and based on the literature I don't really do anything that would lead to increased GGT levels. So, I'm not sure what the deal is. I need to call my doctor and discuss with him. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Just when I think I've hit rock bottom I fall even deeper. I'll take any foothold I can find. Anything to stop that downward motion. Proud Succubi Bitch! | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Hey Stranger! You missed a small shoe thread a couple of weeks ago!
What's wrong? "Love Hurts. Your lies, they cut me. Now your words don't mean a thing. I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..." -Cher, "Woman's World" | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Hi!
I missed shoes!! I haven't even bought any in over a month!
I made the mistake of "trying again". Now it seems everything I touch goes to shit. Proud Succubi Bitch! | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
lets see i almost died during back surgery...im dependant on people for care most of the time. i still look good nailing life though....so id say been there on a physical level...anything else probably not....all I can do is keep fighting. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Wow... Sorry it's not working out. I understand... relationships are too hard.
(shoe shopping is great therapy! I just bought 2 more today... Okay, in all fairness, I had to throw out my black sandals from last summer... and then there was this other pair.... )
"Love Hurts. Your lies, they cut me. Now your words don't mean a thing. I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..." -Cher, "Woman's World" | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I wonder if it would be wise to retake the test to make extra sure there really is a problem. So many hospital things get messed up. I couldn't get to the org for over a week and I thought of you. Harvard and Brown did this survey about divorce. They found out it was "contageous" in that if your friends get a divorce your chances of getting one go up. It may me want to say that maybe there needs to be some boundaries with the sister-in-law. If your already under financial strain her drama isn't needed. Don't have any advice beyond that, maybe special cheap picnic date type of thing?? There came a time when the risk of remaining tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Thank you ! I am having the liver test redone on the 22nd during my physical. I spoke with my doctor about it, and he wasn't that concerned--it's not even at a level where medication is needed yet, but it's outside the "clinical range." And as far as the sister-in-law, I have to write a letter, but after that, I'm finished unless I'm subpoenaed. I don't need the drama. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Make that three of us . . . . I don't want you to think like me. I just want you to think. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I am telling you Picnic time, safeguard your own relationship . There came a time when the risk of remaining tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
i got tired of digging for the moment, but i'm sure i'll reach new lows any minute now... everyone's a fruit & nut case | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |