PDogz said:

Darwintheorgangrinder said:

I hit rock bottom in my life about a month ago, and I have been unable to get out.

I've seen some very hard times in my life, I hope things improve for you soon. Though I would caution against claiming "rock bottom", because as bad as things may seem to you at the moment, they can always get a lot worse. Just turn on the world news and I'm sure you'll see there are many others on this planet that would trade shoes with you in a heartbeat.

However, if you are indeed at a point where things could not possibly get any worse - the good news is then that things can only improve from where you find yourself now. Feel better, keep talking, take it one day at a time (sometimes moment by moment), and don't do anything to hurt yourself.

I totally agree with PDogz on this one. The only thing that I will add is that The Lord works miracles. Whether you believe or not does not take away from the fact that He is a miracle worker. Of course that remark was a nudge for you to rely on the Lord, and he will direct your path as long as you are willing, faithful and eager. I don't want to sound too "preachy" and be a turn off, but to be honest my faith in God has been my only reliable remedy for anything. He focuses me when I allow him to do so. The important words being WHEN I ALLOW HIM TO DO SO. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I truly understand that "feeling".

JoeTyler said:

First of all, let's define "rock bottom"

in my case, it would be this situation: homeless, living under a bridge, estranged from my family & friends & without a buck in my pockets.

So, NO, I've never hit rock bottom in my life...

Good perspective to have.

I've never had things get so bad that they couldn't get worse, so I guess not. But 6 months ago, my life was about as fucked as it has ever been. Most of the last year has been pretty miserable. Several years before that weren't too awesome either.

I feel like things are starting to look up. I just keep trying, keep doing the best I can at any given time, keep trying to be a decent person who deserves good things. I guess that's what hope looks like, in practice.

CarrieMpls said:

Fauxie said:

Not rock bottom, no. I'm always smiling because life is good and everything I see when I wake up is beautiful in its own way. I put on Billy Cobham's 'Red Baron' and I walk down the street with a bounce. I love a lot of people and they're all amazing. I am at a bit of a loss though. I'm not perfect, and nobody is, but I'm at a point in my life where I find I've lost most of the scholarly knowledge I once had, yet feel I'm closer to where I want to be. I am good at giving love, having patience, taking care of the people around me and putting others first. I am not very good at making lots of money, though I do have some and I'm not a fool when it comes to investing. I make sure everybody around me has enough to eat and has a roof over their head and I never take anything from them without saying 'thank you' and making sure they know it's appreciated. I'm polite, I respect my elders, I love children and take care of them like they're my own even though they're not. I've helped raise one boy to be the polite, kind, loving child he is. I'm currently raising another boy to be the same, and teaching him English so he might have better opportunities when he grows up, plus generally raising him the way my own parents raised me, to share, to put his toys away, to be affectionate and to be strong and think things through for himself. There are things I can change. I can quit smoking, I can drink less. I could be less selfish sometimes, but in general I am giving my all, every last bit of me I have. I love my wife. Everybody knows I love my wife. I've never cheated, I've never had secrets my wife doesn't know, and I've never wanted anybody but my wife. It's not enough. Why is it not enough? I've grown to be the man it seems so many women say they want, not because I'm so fucking awesome but because of love. You love people, and if it turns out you're fucking awesome it's because you just love them so it's what you do. Sometimes it's not enough. What's left to do but try to love more? Maybe you'll be more fucking awesome through loving them more, but now I see something I never saw before, that maybe my experience in one single relationship in my life didn't teach me. Maybe you just can't be fucking awesome enough, no matter how much you try. Anyways, I'm listening to 'Red Baron' now and I'm bouncing, thinking of ways to love more.

I can't wait to give you the biggest hug in person, fauxie.

I look forward to it.

more of a financial, unemployed, rock bottom...

Got to keep hustling, keep looking for work and keep getting up out of bed each day...it's hard but that's kinds why I'm not around here much anymore...nothing good to say don't say anything at all, kinda thing...

Slave2daGroove said:

more of a financial, unemployed, rock bottom...

Got to keep hustling, keep looking for work and keep getting up out of bed each day...it's hard but that's kinds why I'm not around here much anymore...nothing good to say don't say anything at all, kinda thing...

I'll be thinking of you and hoping things look up very soon!

PunkMistress said:

Slave2daGroove said:

more of a financial, unemployed, rock bottom...

Got to keep hustling, keep looking for work and keep getting up out of bed each day...it's hard but that's kinds why I'm not around here much anymore...nothing good to say don't say anything at all, kinda thing...

I'll be thinking of you and hoping things look up very soon!

Thanks beautiful!

I've been poor before so being poor again should be a little easier...

Darwintheorgangrinder said:

I hit rock bottom in my life about a month ago, and I have been unable to get out. About once a week things start to look up. Then, things slowly start to deteriorate again until I get back to where I am right now.

Anybody else here?

Its easy to say but it wont be forever and youll look back and think it was jsut ablip when things really pick up again.

Lean on any friends you have....thats what they are for

JoeTyler said:

First of all, let's define "rock bottom"

in my case, it would be this situation: homeless, living under a bridge, estranged from my family & friends & without a buck in my pockets.

So, NO, I've never hit rock bottom in my life...

I have been here before, only I was living in Armstrong Park in Louisiana. Anyway in someways it was peaceful because other then getting beat up or raped I felt like I couldn't sink any lower and the daily stress of sinking lower and lower each day was gone. I had not talked to my family and friends for awhile do to shame mostly. I have never had a substance problem or a legal issue besides eviction.

Anyway it helps as some have said before to get some sort of therapy. In my case eventually after tons of changes and much persistance on my part, it was descovered that I am BiPolar and have ADHD. I have, by nature, poor focus and organizational skills and beating myself up every time my life fell apart didn't help.

If you feel suicidal, admit yourself. You may feel like you don't matter but you do, or you wouldn't be here. I am fortunate to have an 8 year old daughter. (Got pregnant by the homeless boyfriend I met while I was homeless, this relationship ended but we still talk and are both doing better. He lives with his wife of 3 years and I have been living the same place for 6 years.) Anyway even as recently as this month I would have ended it all if it was not for the knowledge of how devastated that would have left my daughter for life. I could never do that to her. So I still plug along. I have made a few friends, not many. I depend a bit on the org. It makes me laugh and gets me outside of myself. Punkmistress was right, depression can be very self-absorbing and you need to get out of your head and your house sometimes. The worst thing to do is to isolate.

I am struggling with a horribe hoarding and cluttering problem, as I have talked about on the babble thread and there hasn't been anything to really help. When it is cleaned it is other people that clean it and then when I can no longer afford the help it gets back to the way it was. I swear I would give up a few fingers if it meant getting rid of this issue. But I digress.

The most important thing is to persist, as BklynBabe said , even when you go backwards and also socialize and try to find something that you can do to help someone else. Usefulness makes you feel like you do matter and can do more then suck up air.

Deadflow3r said:

JoeTyler said:

First of all, let's define "rock bottom"

in my case, it would be this situation: homeless, living under a bridge, estranged from my family & friends & without a buck in my pockets.

So, NO, I've never hit rock bottom in my life...

I have been here before, only I was living in Armstrong Park in Louisiana. Anyway in someways it was peaceful because other then getting beat up or raped I felt like I couldn't sink any lower and the daily stress of sinking lower and lower each day was gone. I had not talked to my family and friends for awhile do to shame mostly. I have never had a substance problem or a legal issue besides eviction.

Anyway it helps as some have said before to get some sort of therapy. In my case eventually after tons of changes and much persistance on my part, it was descovered that I am BiPolar and have ADHD. I have, by nature, poor focus and organizational skills and beating myself up every time my life fell apart didn't help.

If you feel suicidal, admit yourself. You may feel like you don't matter but you do, or you wouldn't be here. I am fortunate to have an 8 year old daughter. (Got pregnant by the homeless boyfriend I met while I was homeless, this relationship ended but we still talk and are both doing better. He lives with his wife of 3 years and I have been living the same place for 6 years.) Anyway even as recently as this month I would have ended it all if it was not for the knowledge of how devastated that would have left my daughter for life. I could never do that to her. So I still plug along. I have made a few friends, not many. I depend a bit on the org. It makes me laugh and gets me outside of myself. Punkmistress was right, depression can be very self-absorbing and you need to get out of your head and your house sometimes. The worst thing to do is to isolate.

I am struggling with a horribe hoarding and cluttering problem, as I have talked about on the babble thread and there hasn't been anything to really help. When it is cleaned it is other people that clean it and then when I can no longer afford the help it gets back to the way it was. I swear I would give up a few fingers if it meant getting rid of this issue. But I digress.

The most important thing is to persist, as BklynBabe said , even when you go backwards and also socialize and try to find something that you can do to help someone else. Usefulness makes you feel like you do matter and can do more then suck up air.

Wow, that was some story. It was so interesting to hear your honesty and self disclosure like that. It just goes to show that when we see homeless people living in the streets, we never know who is really behind that person lurking in the shawdows. In your case, you seem to be a very insightful individual who is aware of her issues. I guess for starters with the whole hoarding clutter thing, one needs to look at that stuff one piece / article at a time and ask themselves if it is in anyway contributing to their true happiness. Or taking away from their overall happiness. Hoarding is a tough life long battle. It's like substance abuse and obesity...every day a struggle...everyday a self-talk...every day motivation to remain outside of your comfort zone for the greater good. It also stymulates chemicals in the brain because it serves to in some way relieve anxiety, which is why it is referred to as an anxiety disorder. In addition the biopolar diagnosis does not help matters. That in itself is a "re-inforcer" so it's tough to get from around that but definitely not impossible. I've seen some pretty strong people change some pretty heavy obstacles in their lives.

Sometimes we all need to hear stories like yours as it serves to let us put our problems and situations into perspective. As I'm sure that some stories that you have heard helps you to do the samething. Thanks so much for sharing.

It seems like every passing day within the past 8 months or so has gotten me closer to that rock bottom. The business is tanking, my wife and I are being dragged into her sister's nasty divorce, and I just got the news that my urine/blood test for life insurance shows an "anomaly." I believe I am approaching my rock bottom. But, I try to keep my chin up, knowing that each day holds the chance for a new opportunity and is another day that I get to enjoy my family and friends (yes, even you Orgers!). I also believe that everyone has at least one period of major trial or tribulation in their lives, many of us more than one. I believe it's to make us stronger, and to appreciate the happy times more. Right now, I would give almost anything to return to the happiness I had just a year ago--happiness that I took for granted at the time. But, I keep the faith and know that my current trials are part of a much larger picture, one that will make me a better person in the end.

Poiple said:

It seems like every passing day within the past 8 months or so has gotten me closer to that rock bottom. The business is tanking, my wife and I are being dragged into her sister's nasty divorce, and I just got the news that my urine/blood test for life insurance shows an "anomaly." I believe I am approaching my rock bottom. But, I try to keep my chin up, knowing that each day holds the chance for a new opportunity and is another day that I get to enjoy my family and friends (yes, even you Orgers!). I also believe that everyone has at least one period of major trial or tribulation in their lives, many of us more than one. I believe it's to make us stronger, and to appreciate the happy times more. Right now, I would give almost anything to return to the happiness I had just a year ago--happiness that I took for granted at the time. But, I keep the faith and know that my current trials are part of a much larger picture, one that will make me a better person in the end.

Seems like you have a good outlook. I hope things improve for you soon and i'll keep fingers crossed for your urine/blood sample thingy.... Have they given you any indication of weather or not it's anything to be concerned about?

florescent said:

Poiple said:

It seems like every passing day within the past 8 months or so has gotten me closer to that rock bottom. The business is tanking, my wife and I are being dragged into her sister's nasty divorce, and I just got the news that my urine/blood test for life insurance shows an "anomaly." I believe I am approaching my rock bottom. But, I try to keep my chin up, knowing that each day holds the chance for a new opportunity and is another day that I get to enjoy my family and friends (yes, even you Orgers!). I also believe that everyone has at least one period of major trial or tribulation in their lives, many of us more than one. I believe it's to make us stronger, and to appreciate the happy times more. Right now, I would give almost anything to return to the happiness I had just a year ago--happiness that I took for granted at the time. But, I keep the faith and know that my current trials are part of a much larger picture, one that will make me a better person in the end.

Seems like you have a good outlook. I hope things improve for you soon and i'll keep fingers crossed for your urine/blood sample thingy.... Have they given you any indication of weather or not it's anything to be concerned about?

Thanks, flo. Seems the problem lies in my GGT level, which is a liver enzyme that, when elevated, can indicate possible damage to the liver. I'm not a heavy drinker, I'm not obese (I need to drop maybe 10 pounds), and based on the literature I don't really do anything that would lead to increased GGT levels. So, I'm not sure what the deal is. I need to call my doctor and discuss with him.

Just when I think I've hit rock bottom I fall even deeper. I'll take any foothold I can find. Anything to stop that downward motion.

Shoewhore said:

Just when I think I've hit rock bottom I fall even deeper. I'll take any foothold I can find. Anything to stop that downward motion.

Hey Stranger!

You missed a small shoe thread a couple of weeks ago!

What's wrong?

chocolate1 said:

Hey Stranger!

You missed a small shoe thread a couple of weeks ago!

What's wrong?

Hi!

I missed shoes!! I haven't even bought any in over a month!

I made the mistake of "trying again". Now it seems everything I touch goes to shit.

lets see i almost died during back surgery...im dependant on people for care most of the time. i still look good nailing life though....so id say been there on a physical level...anything else probably not....all I can do is keep fighting.

Shoewhore said:

chocolate1 said:

Hey Stranger!

You missed a small shoe thread a couple of weeks ago!

What's wrong?

Hi!

I missed shoes!! I haven't even bought any in over a month!

I made the mistake of "trying again". Now it seems everything I touch goes to shit.

Wow...

Sorry it's not working out.

I understand... relationships are too hard.

(shoe shopping is great therapy!

I just bought 2 more today... Okay, in all fairness, I had to throw out my black sandals from last summer... and then there was this other pair.... )

Poiple said:

florescent said:

Seems like you have a good outlook. I hope things improve for you soon and i'll keep fingers crossed for your urine/blood sample thingy.... Have they given you any indication of weather or not it's anything to be concerned about?

Thanks, flo. Seems the problem lies in my GGT level, which is a liver enzyme that, when elevated, can indicate possible damage to the liver. I'm not a heavy drinker, I'm not obese (I need to drop maybe 10 pounds), and based on the literature I don't really do anything that would lead to increased GGT levels. So, I'm not sure what the deal is. I need to call my doctor and discuss with him.

I wonder if it would be wise to retake the test to make extra sure there really is a problem. So many hospital things get messed up.

I couldn't get to the org for over a week and I thought of you. Harvard and Brown did this survey about divorce. They found out it was "contageous" in that if your friends get a divorce your chances of getting one go up. It may me want to say that maybe there needs to be some boundaries with the sister-in-law. If your already under financial strain her drama isn't needed. Don't have any advice beyond that, maybe special cheap picnic date type of thing??

Deadflow3r said:

I wonder if it would be wise to retake the test to make extra sure there really is a problem. So many hospital things get messed up.

I couldn't get to the org for over a week and I thought of you. Harvard and Brown did this survey about divorce. They found out it was "contageous" in that if your friends get a divorce your chances of getting one go up. It may me want to say that maybe there needs to be some boundaries with the sister-in-law. If your already under financial strain her drama isn't needed. Don't have any advice beyond that, maybe special cheap picnic date type of thing??

Thank you ! I am having the liver test redone on the 22nd during my physical. I spoke with my doctor about it, and he wasn't that concerned--it's not even at a level where medication is needed yet, but it's outside the "clinical range." And as far as the sister-in-law, I have to write a letter, but after that, I'm finished unless I'm subpoenaed. I don't need the drama.

SHOCKADELICA1 said:

Don't even get me started on the hole I'm stuck in right now....so I really can't offer much advice either, except 2 say pray about it.

I pray things start gettin better for the both of us....

Make that three of us . . . .

Poiple said:

Deadflow3r said:

I wonder if it would be wise to retake the test to make extra sure there really is a problem. So many hospital things get messed up.

I couldn't get to the org for over a week and I thought of you. Harvard and Brown did this survey about divorce. They found out it was "contageous" in that if your friends get a divorce your chances of getting one go up. It may me want to say that maybe there needs to be some boundaries with the sister-in-law. If your already under financial strain her drama isn't needed. Don't have any advice beyond that, maybe special cheap picnic date type of thing??

Thank you ! I am having the liver test redone on the 22nd during my physical. I spoke with my doctor about it, and he wasn't that concerned--it's not even at a level where medication is needed yet, but it's outside the "clinical range." And as far as the sister-in-law, I have to write a letter, but after that, I'm finished unless I'm subpoenaed. I don't need the drama.

I am telling you Picnic time, safeguard your own relationship .

i got tired of digging for the moment, but i'm sure i'll reach new lows any minute now...