I nearly never come to GD and don't post that much in general, but I remember you from back at the old org (your name was a bit different I think...?) and tend to notice your posts when I see them. I think i somehow stumbled on your abuse article (don't know if I commented) but this whole thing is a trip. Well done - pretty mindblowing and thought-provoking (not the same things...).
Keep it up...

Well, I don't know that I will have an annual thread every year, some days it seems like I can't keep growing at this pace but who knows, maybe I can. I know for sure that I will continue to learn something from my cousin Lisa and baby Anthony even though they aren't physically here to teach me. I am honestly and truly thankful to all my friends who have helped me along the way and for being patient with me. I'm a work in progress

That is simply wonderful news! Congratulations, my darling! I know you are going to be amazing because I think your calling has found you.

matthewgrant said:

thank you teacher! Can't wait to hear what you have to say about all the little magical moments

OK, I don't quite have the time to get into my experience this weekend but suffice it to say, I am in the right place.

I have been working on myself for the past 5 years. It should be evident how much and how hard the work has been. It has not been easy and I can't even say I knew that I even had it in me when I started my path 5 years ago. If you put together all my discoveries, revelations, pain and joy in the past 5 years, this weekend was 1,000 times in just 3 days. I'm absolutely blown away.

Those informational events rocked my world and those events are nothing compared to this one weekend. So many things were revealed to me, in ways that brought me literally to my knees. I see how much I've been guided by ego, even though I would have stated otherwise.

In the first sharing, Dr. Mary Hulnick asked for students to say what they hoped to gain after the first year of the program. I stood up and said that I wanted to reclaim my unstoppable joy. I remember back on a picture of myself when I was in that abusive hell and in that picture I was so happy. Not contrived or faked for the camera but even in all that darkness, my joy was too strong to be held back.

I have let anger take control of me, and I hate it. I sent a video along with my gift to one of my secret santa pals, a few years ago. When I see that video now, I see that just a short 4 years ago I still had that unstoppable joy. A purity and an innocence. The darkness of my cousin's death changed things for me. I know this is where it's coming from. Anyway, I have recognized that I've been judgemental in really horrifying ways and the judgement and anger are things that will simply be transformed because of this program.

I can't wait to shed that crap and get my joy back. I can't wait for the revelations to come and I can't wait to be that changed person, the person people looked up to and respected, not because I had the ability to punch them in the face but because of my ability to love them no matter what.....

.
[Edited 10/5/09 16:32pm]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

This made me cry.

Go for it, baby.

OK, I don't quite have the time to get into my experience this weekend but suffice it to say, I am in the right place.

I have been working on myself for the past 5 years. It should be evident how much and how hard the work has been. It has not been easy and I can't even say I knew that I even had it in me when I started my path 5 years ago. If you put together all my discoveries, revelations, pain and joy in the past 5 years, this weekend was 1,000 times in just 3 days. I'm absolutely blown away.

Those informational events rocked my world and those events are nothing compared to this one weekend. So many things were revealed to me, in ways that brought me literally to my knees. I see how much I've been guided by ego, even though I would have stated otherwise.

In the first sharing, Dr. Mary Hulnick asked for students to say what they hoped to gain after the first year of the program. I stood up and said that I wanted to reclaim my unstoppable joy. I remember back on a picture of myself when I was in that abusive hell and in that picture I was so happy. Not contrived or faked for the camera but even in all that darkness, my joy was too strong to be held back.

I have let anger take control of me, and I hate it. I sent a video along with my gift to one of my secret santa pals, a few years ago. When I see that video now, I see that just a short 4 years ago I still had that unstoppable joy. A purity and an innocence. The darkness of my cousin's death changed things for me. I know this is where it's coming from. Anyway, I have recognized that I've been judgemental in really horrifying ways and the judgement and anger are things that will simply be transformed because of this program.

I can't wait to shed that crap and get my joy back. I can't wait for the revelations to come and I can't wait to be that changed person, the person people looked up to and respected, not because I had the ability to punch them in the face but because of my ability to love them no matter what.....

.
[Edited 10/5/09 16:32pm]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

How beautifully said

Aelis said:

I went back to wretch in less than 24 hours One thing I can't stand is injustice and last night 3 bus drivers were mocking a homeless man. Even to the point where the homeless guy got on the bus, paid his fare and the drivers outside were still taunting him and he reacted and the bus driver steps up to the door challenging him to come off the bus and "settle it like a man"



My school is going to teach me grace under pressure becuase I WENT THE HELL OFF Almost got kicked off the bus myself! I gotta make sure we cover which fights are OK because if I gotta be peaceful patty during that kind of stuff, I need a muzzle!

and thank you

Richard I can see you writing a book.

This is wonderful. Congratulatios on your growth!