New topic
Printablewooooo! | |
- E-mail - orgNote -  Report post to moderator |
paintedlady said: I walk away disgusted....this is a prime example of WHY you don't ask about my ethnicity, and have a absolute nerve to speak to me as if you know more about who I am because you are trying to put me into a negative false stereotype about my people.
 People are really sooo ignorant about Ricans its ridiculous. At least he didn't claim I was a whore like most other Latinos do  that's a shame
I have no problem folks asking me questions, they automatically assume I'm Latin and folks will talk to me in Spanish (including Black people).. I'm not.. I'm bi-racial Black/Jewish.. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
paintedlady said: Today I was asked that question by a man who told me that he is Dominican, of a darker complexion than me....
Him: "Where are you from" Me: "I was born and raised here (Boston, MA) and I am Puerto Rican" Him: "No really, because forgive me I thought you were Indian, you don't look Puerto Rican" Me: "So what does a Puerto Rican look like? Its an island with blended races." Him: "No you look black or Indian, you are American, born here, why would you say you are from Puerto Rico?" Me: "Puerto Ricans ARE Americans  You are a Latino like me, I thought you were asking me about my ethnicity."
Him: "You don't speak Spanish (I do speak without a Spanish accent) you sound like a black, if you are a Rican then why do you say they are American then?" Me:  "because they are...."
Him: "I have family in PR" Me: "OK" I walk away disgusted....this is a prime example of WHY you don't ask about my ethnicity, and have a absolute nerve to speak to me as if you know more about who I am because you are trying to put me into a negative false stereotype about my people. People are really sooo ignorant about Ricans its ridiculous. At least he didn't claim I was a whore like most other Latinos do I look at it as an opportunity to enlighten someone about myself. Sometimes, people really are just curious and ignorant of these facts. It's seems really tiresome sometimes, but I look at it as an opportunity to enlighten and represent my ethnicity. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Imago said: paintedlady said: Today I was asked that question by a man who told me that he is Dominican, of a darker complexion than me....
Him: "Where are you from" Me: "I was born and raised here (Boston, MA) and I am Puerto Rican" Him: "No really, because forgive me I thought you were Indian, you don't look Puerto Rican" Me: "So what does a Puerto Rican look like? Its an island with blended races." Him: "No you look black or Indian, you are American, born here, why would you say you are from Puerto Rico?" Me: "Puerto Ricans ARE Americans You are a Latino like me, I thought you were asking me about my ethnicity."
Him: "You don't speak Spanish (I do speak without a Spanish accent) you sound like a black, if you are a Rican then why do you say they are American then?" Me: "because they are...."
Him: "I have family in PR" Me: "OK" I walk away disgusted....this is a prime example of WHY you don't ask about my ethnicity, and have a absolute nerve to speak to me as if you know more about who I am because you are trying to put me into a negative false stereotype about my people. People are really sooo ignorant about Ricans its ridiculous. At least he didn't claim I was a whore like most other Latinos do I look at it as an opportunity to enlighten someone about myself. Sometimes, people really are just curious and ignorant of these facts. It's seems really tiresome sometimes, but I look at it as an opportunity to enlighten and represent my ethnicity. I usually love talking to people about me and learning about them... but where I live I get an unusually high number of fresh immigrants that do what this guy did to me.... act as if I know nothing about my own heritage since 1) I do not speak with an accent 2) I do not fit in their box of what a Rican is. I'd rather talk to a person who is genuinely interested in getting to know me and not trying to ask what I am just to criticize, this is exactly why Carrie Lee responded the way she did, there are some real uptight people in the North East. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
First tell them what race you THINK they are, listing the features you attribute to the given ethnicity.  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: It's generally considered poor manners at best, and culturally/racially insensitive at worst, to ask someone about their ethnic background. And for good reason IMO.
But is there a way to politely inquire? Or this subject just best not brought up? [Edited 9/11/08 23:10pm] really? most people just ask me flat out what are you. and in case you are wondering: irish/french/german/english i speak with an upper midwest accent with a slight tent of San Fransissian. [Edited 9/12/08 21:12pm] You CANNOT use the name of God, or religion, to justify acts of violence, to hurt, to hate, to discriminate- Madonna
authentic power is service- Pope Francis | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Gimmesomehorns said: I dont think it should be relevant.
 Sometimes it's just curiosity. I'm usually glad I asked because I usually know something about where they are from. They are usually stunned that an American (an African-American!) knows where there country is and something relevant about it. So it's always been positive for me to ask. For some people it never becomes a conversation but for other people, their impression and treatment of you improves. [Edited 9/12/08 21:32pm] I don't want you to think like me. I just want you to think. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
IstenSzek said: "where are you from originally"
i hate it when i hear someone ask a person that question. it makes me cringe. They ask me that all of the time. Even after I itroduce myself with the blandest of Dutch names you can image. I like to tease them; They; "So, where are you from?" I; "From Amsterdam." They; "No, I meant your parents." I; "From a little town near Amsterdam." They; "But you don't look Dutch!" I; "And yet, my parents are both 100% Dutch. What are you getting at?" They; "I mean, you're adopted?"
This is where I safe them, most times. Cuz I have to admit I look mediteranean. But I am just a dark skinned Dutch guy. I have a blonde sister with the same parents. Hell, if you put all four of us together, you'd never believe we're related, except maybe my sister and I, as we are both dark skinned and have brown eyes. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
HamsterHuey said: IstenSzek said: "where are you from originally"
i hate it when i hear someone ask a person that question. it makes me cringe. They ask me that all of the time. Even after I itroduce myself with the blandest of Dutch names you can image. I like to tease them; They; "So, where are you from?" I; "From Amsterdam." They; "No, I meant your parents." I; "From a little town near Amsterdam." They; "But you don't look Dutch!" I; "And yet, my parents are both 100% Dutch. What are you getting at?" They; "I mean, you're adopted?"
This is where I safe them, most times. Cuz I have to admit I look mediteranean. But I am just a dark skinned Dutch guy. I have a blonde sister with the same parents. Hell, if you put all four of us together, you'd never believe we're related, except maybe my sister and I, as we are both dark skinned and have brown eyes. Oh, and when I was a little boy, my blonde sister was learning me how to ride my bike in the street next to ours and a lady came up to me, petted my head and said to my sister; "So, where did your parents import this one from?"  [Edited 9/12/08 23:53pm] | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Genesia said: meow85 said: What the fuck are you talking about, PC nonsense? Are you going to try to tell me that this isn't the case? The idea that people who aren't descended from Native Americans, even though their families have been in this country for generations, aren't from here, is PC bullshit. I was born in Wisconsin. That means I'm from Wisconsin. Am I supposed to say I'm from Germany because my great-great-great-great grandparents were born there? Or should I say I'm from England - because other great-great-great-great grandparents were born there? Or Ireland - because other great-great-great-great grandparents were born there? The notion is just ridiculous. If your ancestors are German, you're German. There's no such thing ethnically as a "Wisconsinite", or whichever. In terms of racial background, you're European. You suggested the question, "Are you from here?" as a way to determine another's racial makeup, and I pointed out that question doesn't work in North America. At all. I'm sorry, but unless your ancestors actually were from an area -any area -you're not actually of that region either. You're just born there. It's not the same thing. If you insist on complaining about "PC bullshit", at least get the reference right. [Edited 9/13/08 1:13am] "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: Genesia said: The idea that people who aren't descended from Native Americans, even though their families have been in this country for generations, aren't from here, is PC bullshit. I was born in Wisconsin. That means I'm from Wisconsin. Am I supposed to say I'm from Germany because my great-great-great-great grandparents were born there? Or should I say I'm from England - because other great-great-great-great grandparents were born there? Or Ireland - because other great-great-great-great grandparents were born there? The notion is just ridiculous. If your ancestors are German, you're German. There's no such thing ethnically as a "Wisconsinite", or whichever. In terms of racial background, you're European. You suggested the question, "Are you from here?" as a way to determine another's racial makeup, and I pointed out that question doesn't work in North America. At all. I'm sorry, but unless your ancestors actually were from an area -any area -you're not actually of that region either. You're just born there. It's not the same thing. If you insist on complaining about "PC bullshit", at least get the reference right. [Edited 9/13/08 1:13am] No, that wasn't what I suggested, dingdong. I'm not talking about ethnicity, at all.
Asking if a person is from the area is a a conversation starter. It has nothing to do with their race. I can tell by looking (in most cases) if a person is White or Black or Asian or Latino. I would never assume that someone who's Asian was born in China or Korea or Japan or what have you - because unless English is obviously their second language, chances are they were born in the United States like I was. I would never ask a black person, "So - where in Africa are you from?" Most black people in the United States were born here. And a person is from wherever they were born. That's just common sense. I am not from Germany or England or Ireland. I have never lived any of those places - even though my ancestors did. I can't tell whether you're being purposefully obtuse or you really are that dumb. But I suspect you knew exactly what I meant and are just trying to take the piss. We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Genesia said: meow85 said: If your ancestors are German, you're German. There's no such thing ethnically as a "Wisconsinite", or whichever. In terms of racial background, you're European. You suggested the question, "Are you from here?" as a way to determine another's racial makeup, and I pointed out that question doesn't work in North America. At all. I'm sorry, but unless your ancestors actually were from an area -any area -you're not actually of that region either. You're just born there. It's not the same thing. If you insist on complaining about "PC bullshit", at least get the reference right. [Edited 9/13/08 1:13am] No, that wasn't what I suggested, dingdong. I'm not talking about ethnicity, at all.
Asking if a person is from the area is a a conversation starter. It has nothing to do with their race. I can tell by looking (in most cases) if a person is White or Black or Asian or Latino. I would never assume that someone who's Asian was born in China or Korea or Japan or what have you - because unless English is obviously their second language, chances are they were born in the United States like I was. I would never ask a black person, "So - where in Africa are you from?" Most black people in the United States were born here. And a person is from wherever they were born. That's just common sense. I am not from Germany or England or Ireland. I have never lived any of those places - even though my ancestors did. I can't tell whether you're being purposefully obtuse or you really are that dumb. But I suspect you knew exactly what I meant and are just trying to take the piss. Well, I -you know, that person who started the thread and therefore determines what the topic is about -was talking about ethnicity. What the hell does asking where a person was born have to do with that? The fact that you weren't born in Germany and may not have even been there does not change the fact that you are German. Or are you one of those who's decided to invent "American" or "Canadian" as an ethnicity? That's your nationality. Nationality and ethnicity are not the same thing. Your nationality may be American, but that's not your ethnicity, and ethncity is what I'm asking about. So, are YOU purposefully obtuse, or just plain dumb? [Edited 9/13/08 11:49am] "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: Genesia said: No, that wasn't what I suggested, dingdong. I'm not talking about ethnicity, at all.
Asking if a person is from the area is a a conversation starter. It has nothing to do with their race. I can tell by looking (in most cases) if a person is White or Black or Asian or Latino. I would never assume that someone who's Asian was born in China or Korea or Japan or what have you - because unless English is obviously their second language, chances are they were born in the United States like I was. I would never ask a black person, "So - where in Africa are you from?" Most black people in the United States were born here. And a person is from wherever they were born. That's just common sense. I am not from Germany or England or Ireland. I have never lived any of those places - even though my ancestors did. I can't tell whether you're being purposefully obtuse or you really are that dumb. But I suspect you knew exactly what I meant and are just trying to take the piss. Well, I -you know, that person who started the thread and therefore determines what the topic is about -was talking about ethnicity. What the hell does asking where a person was born have to do with that? The fact that you weren't born in Germany and may not have even been there does not change the fact that you are German. Or are you one of those who's decided to invent "American" or "Canadian" as an ethnicity? That's your nationality. Nationality and ethnicity are not the same thing. Your nationality may be American, but that's not your ethnicity, and ethncity is what I'm asking about. So, are YOU purposefully obtuse, or just plain dumb?
[Edited 9/13/08 11:49am] So is "Jewish" an ethnicity? | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Efan said: meow85 said: Well, I -you know, that person who started the thread and therefore determines what the topic is about -was talking about ethnicity. What the hell does asking where a person was born have to do with that? The fact that you weren't born in Germany and may not have even been there does not change the fact that you are German. Or are you one of those who's decided to invent "American" or "Canadian" as an ethnicity? That's your nationality. Nationality and ethnicity are not the same thing. Your nationality may be American, but that's not your ethnicity, and ethncity is what I'm asking about. So, are YOU purposefully obtuse, or just plain dumb?
[Edited 9/13/08 11:49am] So is "Jewish" an ethnicity? From what I understand, it depends on the individual or the family. For some it's an ethnicity, for some a religion, and for some it's both. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: Genesia said: No, that wasn't what I suggested, dingdong. I'm not talking about ethnicity, at all.
Asking if a person is from the area is a a conversation starter. It has nothing to do with their race. I can tell by looking (in most cases) if a person is White or Black or Asian or Latino. I would never assume that someone who's Asian was born in China or Korea or Japan or what have you - because unless English is obviously their second language, chances are they were born in the United States like I was. I would never ask a black person, "So - where in Africa are you from?" Most black people in the United States were born here. And a person is from wherever they were born. That's just common sense. I am not from Germany or England or Ireland. I have never lived any of those places - even though my ancestors did. I can't tell whether you're being purposefully obtuse or you really are that dumb. But I suspect you knew exactly what I meant and are just trying to take the piss. Well, I -you know, that person who started the thread and therefore determines what the topic is about -was talking about ethnicity. What the hell does asking where a person was born have to do with that? The fact that you weren't born in Germany and may not have even been there does not change the fact that you are German. Or are you one of those who's decided to invent "American" or "Canadian" as an ethnicity? That's your nationality. Nationality and ethnicity are not the same thing. Your nationality may be American, but that's not your ethnicity, and ethncity is what I'm asking about. So, are YOU purposefully obtuse, or just plain dumb?
[Edited 9/13/08 11:49am] And would you tell African-Americans that they must just call themselves Africans? | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Efan said: meow85 said: Well, I -you know, that person who started the thread and therefore determines what the topic is about -was talking about ethnicity. What the hell does asking where a person was born have to do with that? The fact that you weren't born in Germany and may not have even been there does not change the fact that you are German. Or are you one of those who's decided to invent "American" or "Canadian" as an ethnicity? That's your nationality. Nationality and ethnicity are not the same thing. Your nationality may be American, but that's not your ethnicity, and ethncity is what I'm asking about. So, are YOU purposefully obtuse, or just plain dumb?
[Edited 9/13/08 11:49am] And would you tell African-Americans that they must just call themselves Africans? Did I say that anywhere? Ethnically, someone who's black is (in part, at least) African. But if they're born in North America their nationality is Canadian or American. It's not the same thing. So yeah, someone of African descent could call themselves African in that sense, but in terms of where they are born they couldn't. Unless you're going to pretend that immigration, forced or wilful, never occurred, they're two seperate issues completely. Is there some kind of problem where the wires are getting crossed when people read my posts? I'd thought I was quite clear, but apparently not. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: Dewrede said: what the hell is wrong with asking ?
this pollitcal correct crap is seriously bothering me FYI, asking how to ask a question politely has nothing to do with "political correctness". It's manners. no , it's common interest if anyone has a problem with it they need to get over themselves imo | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: Efan said: And would you tell African-Americans that they must just call themselves Africans? meow85 said: Did I say that anywhere?
Not that I know of--which is why I asked. meow85 said: Ethnically, someone who's black is (in part, at least) African. But if they're born in North America their nationality is Canadian or American. It's not the same thing. So yeah, someone of African descent could call themselves African in that sense, but in terms of where they are born they couldn't.
So, if you were talking to a black person, and you found your aforementioned appropriate way to ask about a person's ethnicity, and that person responded, "I'm African-American," you would consider them wrong? By your definition, their ethnicity cannot be African-American. meow85 said: Unless you're going to pretend that immigration, forced or wilful, never occurred, they're two seperate issues completely.
Not at all. But how people acknowledge that it happened gets a little complicated, and that is borne out on how they classify themselves ethnically. meow85 said: Is there some kind of problem where the wires are getting crossed when people read my posts? I'd thought I was quite clear, but apparently not.
Your definition of ethnicity is too simplified. Look it up and see how complicated it is. As you acknowledged before, "Jewish" can be an ethnicity but it's not a country. For what it's worth, I agree with Genesia's opening question suggestion; it seems like a perfectly polite and logical way to open up discussion of this kind; the discussion can then proceed to go into more detail. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Efan said So, if you were talking to a black person, and you found your aforementioned appropriate way to ask about a person's ethnicity, and that person responded, "I'm African-American," you would consider them wrong? By your definition, their ethnicity cannot be African-American. No, that's not what I said. Seriously, are there wires being crossed somewhere? The designation "African-American" refers to both ethnicity and nationality, so it would not be incorrect. Where do you get the idea I think it would be? Your definition of ethnicity is too simplified. Look it up and see how complicated it is. As you acknowledged before, "Jewish" can be an ethnicity but it's not a country. For what it's worth, I agree with Genesia's opening question suggestion; it seems like a perfectly polite and logical way to open up discussion of this kind; the discussion can then proceed to go into more detail. No, it's not. Ethnicity can relate to one's ancestors' nation of origin, but it doesn't necessarily. All you need to do is look at traditionally nomadic peoples; people who did not have a country with set borders, to see that. Your example using the Jewish people does not work in the way I think you intend it. I disagree with Genesia's question. Asking if a person is originally from one area, especially if we're talking in regards North America, just does not work unless the person in question has Native ancestry, and even then it might not. Let's use me for an example. I've lived in BC since I was 6, and was born in Alberta. How, from Genesia's line of questioning, could a person determine that my white ancestors are German, English, and Scottish, and my Native ancestors Woodland Cree from what is now Manitoba? "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Personally, I think it's ok to ask BUT ONLY after you get to know someone
and then in such a way like your just curious. I agree with some others here in that I TOO think it's irrelevant but nothing wrong with asking. I get asked sometimes too and I'm fine with it. However, everyone is different so I'd just be careful is all lol.  "Sign of the times, will mess with your mind. Hurry before it's too late." Prince | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
MuthaFunka said: ufoclub said: "What are you?"
"I'm Batman"  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Mach said: MuthaFunka said: "I'm Batman" Finally! Someone got that! nWo: bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy - Christopher
MuthaFunka - Black...by popular demand | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Genesia said: Political correctness is killing the fine art of small talk.
Ya know
People are SOOOOO damn guarded with political correctness nowadays you can't even have a simple one-lined conversation without offending anybody anymore. Manners are basic, simple and mind you, UNIVERSAL. This shit on the other hand is another method to BREAK communication. [Edited 9/13/08 14:32pm] | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
It's happened to me many times during my 10 (!!!!, at least for me) Org years that I've come to know that people are black, or British, or both, or Australian, or...just about anything way after we've gotten to know each other. Since I myself loathe being in pictures I'm not particularly interested in other people's pics either and so it's just been uninteresting. I'm curious when it comes to accents but ethnicity in the way 99% of people mean it (not from which country you are but what skin colour you have), well I couldn't care less. It's totally and completely useless information, it is NOT required info to maintain a vivid and deep relationship with a person.
What IS interesting though, is that "everybody" thinks that ALL Swedes are white and they get  when they get here and see all the different cultures mixing. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
paisley43 said: Personally, I think it's ok to ask BUT ONLY after you get to know someone
and then in such a way like your just curious. I agree with some others here in that I TOO think it's irrelevant but nothing wrong with asking. I get asked sometimes too and I'm fine with it. However, everyone is different so I'd just be careful is all lol. I agree, it shouldn't be something that's asked unless you already know a person. But since race can be a touchy subject, and understandably so, there's nothing wrong with using tact, which is why I asked. [Edited 9/13/08 14:58pm] "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
meow85 said: It's generally considered poor manners at best, and culturally/racially insensitive at worst, to ask someone about their ethnic background. And for good reason IMO.
But is there a way to politely inquire? Or this subject just best not brought up? [Edited 9/11/08 23:10pm] Here in the UK its seen as a compliment, people tend to open up when asked that kinda question..well i do. "Dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know
that we riddled some middleman who didn't do diddily"--BP | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
purplewisdom said: meow85 said: It's generally considered poor manners at best, and culturally/racially insensitive at worst, to ask someone about their ethnic background. And for good reason IMO.
But is there a way to politely inquire? Or this subject just best not brought up? [Edited 9/11/08 23:10pm] Here in the UK its seen as a compliment, people tend to open up when asked that kinda question..well i do. "So What Are You?"  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Harlepolis said: Genesia said: Political correctness is killing the fine art of small talk.
Ya know
People are SOOOOO damn guarded with political correctness nowadays you can't even have a simple one-lined conversation without offending anybody anymore. Manners are basic, simple and mind you, UNIVERSAL. This shit on the other hand is another method to BREAK communication. [Edited 9/13/08 14:32pm] So, asking how to politely enquire about something personal is an abuse of political correctness? Well, since you and yours seem to think manners shouldn't get in the way; How much do you weigh? How old are you? If you have kids, were they on purpose or did you accidently get knocked up? What size pants do you fit your ass into? Did you finish high school, or are you retarded? See what I mean? All common topics of conversation, but remove manners and tact and they easily become offensive and rude. Why should it be any different with asking about a person's ethnicity? I'm not saying that race shouldn't be brought up. But dare ask how to do so politely and the anti-PC brigade come screeching in. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Harlepolis said: purplewisdom said: Here in the UK its seen as a compliment, people tend to open up when asked that kinda question..well i do. "So What Are You?" Venezuelan and Egyptian (nubian), born and raised in the UK. "Dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know
that we riddled some middleman who didn't do diddily"--BP | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
If someone has an accent I'll ask "Where are you from? I detect an accent", but I never ask about race.
I had a freind that used to get so pissed off when people would ask her what race she was or if she was mixed....She was a bit too sensitive IMO, but it just made me want to never ask that  If you will, so will I | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
