Do you think a successful relationship should have complete disclosure and discussion about everything? Or are certain things best left private to maintain a relationship. Personally I've found that talking seems to ease things up and bring you closer.

being more open and talking. i hate when things are things or thoughts are left unsaid or kept from each other just to keep the peace. its not healthy.

No. Somethings are worth hiding

we are talking like mature age people here? cause in that case it's a need to know basis. If you have kids you only bark out some orders before rushing off to do a million things you have to do, and then one day when you meet over a BBQ lunch at a friends it slips out he is playing a gig on Christmas Eve WTF!!!!!

ZombieKitten said:

he's gonna dress up like Santa and crowdsurf on green elves ?

seriously. I find being open and communicative to be a sine qua non condition for a healthy relationship ...

One4All4Ever said:

24th is not a big deal here, however he knows it is for his family and mine

Complete openness is the only way, i need to know the truth and what i am dealing with and then i truly believe that if both parties want to then anything can be overcome. I have been stuck before in non communicative relationships and it undermines you and your self esteem, not being thought enough of to be treated as an equal destroys you inside.

Billy Joel put it best: "I don't want some pretty face to tell me pretty lies."

I feel you should communicate in a relationship!

ufoclub said:

I feel a very fine line/balance of both the aspects you mentioned help to make a relationship successful - that is based only on my 22+ yrs experience in my main relationship

Not only do I usually pay her up front,
but I also tip her at the beginning.
That way,
there's guessing between us.
This kind of honesty as kept me from any real kind of of sexual drought for years.
Plus,
I watch alot of Dr. Phil.

Well, my husband sometimes thinks it will save him grief to shield me from the truth about small purchases, which I would not mind in the first place if he did not try to shield me from the truth. He just always thinks I am going to flip out because I am so prudish with our money.

Anyway, I usually would probably lecture, I admit, and his small purchases probably would not go without a tiny bit of grief. However, it is NEVER nearly as bad as the fights that come for his blatantly lying to me about it.

I guess full disclosure is best, really, so long as it concerns the present and our future together and us. I do not need to know all the hairy details of past relationships. Only makes me pissed or jealous or disgusted.

mdiver said:

i agree

Full disclosure and complete openness.

heybaby said:

That includes when someone decides not to tell their partner something because they are trying to protect them.
Never a good idea.

sure you should communicate, but i think some things are best left for when they're relevant, and that could just mean that it's something on your mind that you think your partner should know - even if it's just a dumb story from when you were a kid.

i think there's a difference between being an open book in a relationship and feeling overexposed, like there is no part of you that you can claim as sacred for yourself. you should be as open as possible, but only because you WANT to.

Anxiety said:

agree!

Most problems can be solved with a severe blow to the temple.

I agree with communication...it's important. But I don't think your partner needs to know about everything.

Anxiety said:

I am usually an open book. I have made that mistake in the past, telling my mate every little thing and then feeling overexposed when I find out that my partner has kept things from me.

There are three words a man must say to a woman. These three words are the key to happiness. Without these three words, the relationship is doomed.

I'm going to tell you these three words, and you're going to think I am joking.

I am not joking.

These three words must be spoken as often as needed, and sometimes when not needed at all.

Are you ready for the three words?

Get a pen and paper handy, or print this post out. You don't ever want to forget these three words.

They are:


I am sorry.



You can also use:

It's my fault.



These words are so important that I've had to hit "Post response" multiple times to get this through. You can see the Devil wants a war, but he can't fight.

I don't know that I think COMPLETE disclosure is necessary. But, if say in the past you have served federal prison time then yes I would say spill it.

mdiver said:

if only the strong survive...are the weak here for the sport of the so-called wise?????

if so...how smart is THAT to breed a nation on whose back you get to climb and break for your "future".....wow...LORD I SHO THANK YA

myfavorite said:

How the hell did you come up with that from what i said?

Not complete disclosure. I like a little mystery.

But there are obviously times when not saying what you're thinking is only damaging to the relationship. That's pretty clear, though, as it's usually nagging at you until you say it aloud.

shanti0608 said:

do you feel like you made the choice to tell your partner every little thing and it was a risk you took that wasn't reciprocated, or was there was a mutual agreement to share everything that the other person didn't uphold?

We all have our secrets. I'm ok with that.

Sweeny79 said:

Same. I don't want to know everything and I don't wanna talk about everything.

Communication is extremely important but there are some things that should be kept private - such as personal information that friends share with you. Some couples think that sharing information like that with each other is ok simply because they're a couple. It's not.