Last night my mum phoned me and told me my sister Sophia has anorexia and that she's had it for about 10 years. She's always (or as we can see now, for a little more than 10 years) been slimmer than the rest of the family and both me and my dad has remarked on her being skinny before but always got the "just cos she's skinny and you're overweight doesn't mean there's anything wrong with her" but I HAVE been looking at her collar bones and her hip bones thinking about it...but she has been eating only now we found out she's been purging... she's ALWAYS (and by that I mean always) been anal about locking the door when she's in the loo etc and when she was over at my place she'd always eat and then take a bath, I never thought anything of it cos she didn't have a bath tub and I did/do... of course now I realise it was the only way for her to be able to run the water to drown the noises of her throwing up. Dammit

So I'd love to hear from Orgers who have suffered from anorexia or have family members or friends who have - how do I stop this guilt that I feel that I know is irrational and how do I best help her? I've gotten to learn about and study anorexia in my teacher's/horse back riding instructor's courses because it's a very real problem but it's different when you're in the middle of it. What do I do, what can I do?
I have to add that I'm looking into moving to the town where my sis/mum/niece live so I can be there to help them - sis is seeing a counselor, a doc and an eating disorder team which will sometimes call her into the hospital to stay for a week or two. I've felt I need to be with them for quite a while now but this really settles it.
So people, any tips? Thanks for reading.
// Jen

I'm sorry to hear that. I wish I had a solution.
At least it explains why her pants fell off.

I don't know what causes it, so I wouldn't know how to solve it. to me it always seemed like just a matter of how people look at themselves. I'm guessing the only way to know is to ask them what goes in their mind.

I'm so sorry to hear this...I can't offer advice although I wish I could...

but I can offer this...

I hope she gets help. Hang in there and good luck to her.

You're doing the right thing just by taking it really seriously and looking for ways to be supportive.

I'm sorry to hear that.
Wish I could help you somehow but I know very little about this disease.

Hang in there.

I'm sorry Teacha....

I've suffered from Bulemia (but not anorexia) and still battle body image issues. Did my therapy and still dealing. She's an addict in some ways so its going to be a day to day battle. Love her and support her.

Thanks all

Ariel, you're an ass and I love you for making me laugh

Rhondab said:

Thanks for sharing Rhonda I know she's an addict, our parents are both addicts so we both are prone to addiction - for a long time I thought we were both free of it but recently I've realised that I AM an addict, if not a substance addict - I've holed up in my home and have great difficulty getting outta the house. And now it's in the open that my sister is anorexic. It's a control addiction, I know this and we all have to work on it.



Jen

Sadly I don't have any advice for you.

Teacher said:

You are right...its a control addiction.

Work through it...she'll be fine and stronger for the fight.

God bless ya

Teacher, question... If your sister is doing a binge-purge cycle, are you sure she's anorexic and not bulemic? Anorexics diet to excess or, in the most dire cases, abstain altogether from food to constantly lose weight; bulemics eat regularly, but purge through excessive exercise, laxatives and/or self-indueced vomiting, like your sister, to generally maintain a low weight. Some people suffer from a combination of the two (that is, they purge and constantly lose weight) -- that is particularly dangerous.
[Edited 9/9/07 17:06pm]

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[Edited 9/9/07 15:48pm]

Show her the pictures of little children in poorer countries that wish they could eat but can't get any food. and she's throwing hers up , no sympathy here.

wlcm2thdwn said:

Believe me, no one is throwing up food because it's a fun, cute thing to do. It's a very real clinical disorder, and sufferers deserve as much support as, say, someone with a physical ailment.

wlcm2thdwn said:

This is so ugly and ignornant to say.

You obviously have no idea what this illness is about.

my sister was severly underweight at one stage, but not for very long, hers was linked to heavy marijuana use (she never bothered to eat) and then afterwards for a couple of years just didn't eat (which is when I suspected anorexia) but she is quite overweight now I think she really messed up her metabolism. She won't talk about this time, I think it's quite hazy in her memory. But the photos of her from then are shocking

Lammastide said:

I saw a documentary that actually proved that starvation severely affects brain function. Once they are that malnourished intervention is needed, they can't help themselves

ZombieKitten said:

Yeah, it's an awful cycle! The psychological disposition perpetuates behaviors that, in turn, can trigger a full-out syndrome with both physiological and psychological problems. Those problems then further the behavior

Lammastide said:

in the documentary, (which was swedish) they trialled a method that took advantage of the way the mind would work AFTER being malnourished for so long, they had a bowl with an inbuilt scale. The patients in the trial beat the scale, by eating all the food in the bowl. . After they became normal in weight again they would think normally again. I wonder if they are using this method in anorexia treatment yet?

ZombieKitten said:

I starved myself and became anorexic in 96/97 - looking back at that time, I hardly remember a thing at all. Just bits and pieces. I was eventually saved by my mother who flew from the other side of the country and admitted me into the hospital because I could no longer stand up on my own. A week later I was forced to give up everything a move back home with my parents to try and get better.

People tell me things that I said and did and I seriously have no clue what they are talking about. Those memories are just not there.

JustErin said:

omg I had no idea

that is really scary

ZombieKitten said:

This is why I am the fucked up person that I am today.

JustErin said:

must be!

it makes you wonder though, when your life takes a turn like that my sister is a totally different person now than before but I am sure that is more due to the drugs

JustErin said:

Jesus. Sorry to hear about that (the anorexia, not being a fuck up lol), Erin.
Come here
[Edited 9/9/07 17:45pm]

rushing07 said:

Thanks.

Everyone has their issues. This is just one of mine.

not sure what to say..but here's a hug. maybe seek professional help/counseling. go with her to support her. praying for the best.
be strong hun!

ZombieKitten said:

I've not heard of that experiment. Sounds intriguing. I do know there are always many alternative approaches being attempted.

I wish people would take eating disorders seriously and not write off sufferers as shallow bitches trying to be thin and cute. That is total pop psychology BS. Anorexia with binging has arguably the highest mortality rate of any disorder in the entire Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, and the onset of eating disorders almost always has much deeper correlating variables than just wanting to look like a cover girl.