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Helping a friend from a top secret location I know many of you have been concerned to the point of panic as to the location of the Captain. Well, as much as this might bring great shame to my pal, the Admiral, I will admit I am with him at a Pre-Jack Center in a major metropolitan city, trying to be supportive in his efforts to overcome his "problem".
As you recall, I told you the Admiral had a little timing problem when it comes to the launch command sequence. Sexually speaking. The Admiral, who has been told by many many ladies that he is a earth-shattering lover, obviously wants to correct this problem. So, with my intervention, he has decided to go to a center specially trained in curing men of this dreaded disease. The Rodney D. Johnson Premature Ejaculation Institute, where I have dragged the Admiral to kicking and screaming, is the country's foremost institute for pre-coital ejaculatory issues. It's namesake, Mr. Johnson, fathered 27 children, 3 from another room than his partner, without ever actually enjoying sex. Because of his condition he has vowed to help other unfortunate souls with his plight. The Center is state-of-the-art and has a very helpful staff (mostly ex-Hooters girls) who are willing to get very hands'on to help those in need. Through a combination of the newest hottest pornography on the market, vaseline, and extremely severe electro-shock therapy, the institute vows that if you are not cured in 21 days you will receive a 50% refund of the $4000 fee. They get to keep the other half because, by their logic, if they can't cure you in 21 days you are a half a man anyways. I'll be sending updates from time to time to let you know how the Admiral is doing. If you want to send him some OrgNotes through me I am sure he would appreciate your support. | |
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CaptainChaos said: I know many of you have been concerned to the point of panic as to the location of the Captain. Well, as much as this might bring great shame to my pal, the Admiral, I will admit I am with him at a Pre-Jack Center in a major metropolitan city, trying to be supportive in his efforts to overcome his "problem".
As you recall, I told you the Admiral had a little timing problem when it comes to the launch command sequence. Sexually speaking. The Admiral, who has been told by many many ladies that he is a earth-shattering lover, obviously wants to correct this problem. So, with my intervention, he has decided to go to a center specially trained in curing men of this dreaded disease. The Rodney D. Johnson Premature Ejaculation Institute, where I have dragged the Admiral to kicking and screaming, is the country's foremost institute for pre-coital ejaculatory issues. It's namesake, Mr. Johnson, fathered 27 children, 3 from another room than his partner, without ever actually enjoying sex. Because of his condition he has vowed to help other unfortunate souls with his plight. The Center is state-of-the-art and has a very helpful staff (mostly ex-Hooters girls) who are willing to get very hands'on to help those in need. Through a combination of the newest hottest pornography on the market, vaseline, and extremely severe electro-shock therapy, the institute vows that if you are not cured in 21 days you will receive a 50% refund of the $4000 fee. They get to keep the other half because, by their logic, if they can't cure you in 21 days you are a half a man anyways. I'll be sending updates from time to time to let you know how the Admiral is doing. If you want to send him some OrgNotes through me I am sure he would appreciate your support.  Damn man...  | |
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Just got out of witnessing Vocal Recitation Re-Hab. Each resident must say the following phrases over and over while checking out the latest issue of "Juggs".
1) The tortoise beats the hare. 2) The cake won't be done for 15 minutes. 3) We will sell no wine before its time. All who make it through unscathed get a gold star and an extra custard pudding at dinner. Those that are unsuccessful get 100 extra volts and two extra custard puddings. Poor Admiral. This is inhuman! | |
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(Heavy sarcasm dripping in response) Your overwhelming support for the Admiral is really lifting his spirits.
He's thinking of quitting the whole program and starting a drive-thru sperm bank. Bastards! | |
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very good  | |
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CaptainChaos said: (Heavy sarcasm dripping in response) Your overwhelming support for the Admiral is really lifting his spirits.
He's thinking of quitting the whole program and starting a drive-thru sperm bank. Bastards! No, don't undo all your hard work Captain! ... sorry, again I do mean "Admiral" | |
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is that Hugh in your av?
BEST CELEBRITY ESCAPADE EVER! (maybe joint best with Eddy Murphy's "I was giving the transvestite a ride home, officer" adventure). Any way, have you tried fucking a really really ugly girl yet? That may stop St. Helen from blowing her top  | |
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KebabKing said: is that Hugh in your av?
BEST CELEBRITY ESCAPADE EVER! (maybe joint best with Eddy Murphy's "I was giving the transvestite a ride home, officer" adventure). Any way, have you tried fucking a really really ugly girl yet? That may stop St. Helen from blowing her top Yes, my avatar is a salute to an actor who can truly appreciate the finer things in life...like banging a hooker when you have Elizabeth Hurley waiting back home. | |
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Two things that I have not been very happy about as a guest at the Rodney D. Johnson Pre-Jack Center:
1) Rubber sheets on all the beds. 2) Really sticky floors. | |
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Just wanted to let y'all know that the Admiral went home today from the premature ejaculation clinic. He got an early release. | |
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