Anyone here work/worked in Retail?

I'm sure you have customer horror stories GALORE!

Please share!

Here's one of my all-time favorites;

I worked in Housewares.
One day a man walked in with a beat-up et of Calphalon pots & pans. (A very expensive brand of pots in case you are not familiar with them).

HE wanted to return them.

"But, they're used...VERY used." We said. "Why do you want to return them?"

So he tells us, plain and simple, that they belonged to his parents. They passed away and can no longer use them. Therefore, he wants to return them.

"We can't do that." We said.
"Get me a Manager!" He said.

The Department manager hears the story and tells him the same thing.

"Get me the Store Manager!" He said.

SO the acting Store Manager is called down, hears the story, and goes into the back.

Five minutes later she comes out, and personally processes the return in the amount of approximately $350.00!!!

"WTF!!!" We all said.

"His type of clientele spends alot in our store." She said and walked away.

Apparently they looked up his Macy*s charge account and determined that they didn't want to upset him and keep him from coming back.

From that day on, I rarely challenged ANYONE who came up to me with a return, no matter HOW ludicrous their story was!!!

PurpleJedi said:

That's fuckin NUTS that the store manager gave that guy his money back, especially since the pots and plans were CLEARLY used. What a wuss!

In other words, as long as you don't *need* the money, you get the money. If it were a single mother who needed that money to feed her kids, she'd have been laughed out of the store. But this dude gets 350 bucks, which to him is apparently a drop in the bucket.

...sorry to get all political on your retail thread, PurpleJedi. But that type of shit hurts, dammit. I'm going to bed.

*cracks knuckles*

As much stupidity as I witness on a daily basis, I have never cease to be amaze at the astounding amount of which I encounter.

Let me turn some music on. I'll be typing a while...

In the midst of a transaction with a customer, another one will approach my line, and ask me if i'm taking anymore customers. Now let's use some fucking common sense here. If my lane was close, I would not be there scanning items, my register light would be off, the lane would be secured, and there would be a BRIGHT YELLOW ASS sign that says: LANE CLOSED. Damn.

Or this lady. This bitch was a fucking CLASSIC. We just got new card machines, and the transaction procedures changed. The machine will automatically ask for your pin number. For a credit transaction, you simply(emphasis on SIMPLY)press the "ENTER" button twice, WITHOUT entering your pin number. Because my dog, broom, and goldfish all know that you don't need your pin number for a credit card. So she slides her card:

"Okay, I want to use credit."
"Is it asking for your pin?"
"Yeah, but I want credit."
"Okay, just hit the ENTER button twice."
"Okay....*she enters her pin number* Okay, I put my pin in, now what? NO Wait! I wanted credit!!"
I clear it out. We start over.
"For credit, you don't need your pin. Just press the ENTER button when it asks for yor pin."
"But I want credit."
"I just told you how to use credit."
"It wants my pin number."
I point to the ENTER button and she moves my hand and says "I GOT IT!!"
She hits the CANCEL button and slides her card again.
"Now, I'm gonna use credit."
"Okay."
She slides her card, and puts her pin number in.
"If I'm using credit, why is it asking if i want cash back?"
"Because you put in your pin number."
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did, or it wouldn't ask if you wanted money back. You can't get money back from a credit card."
"I know. That's why I'm using credit so it won't take money out my bank account."
"Alright. I'm clearing it out. Slide your card again."
This is where I get simple with her ass.
"NOW WHEN THE CARD MACHINE ASKS YOU FOR YOUR PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER, PRESS THE GREEN ENTER BUTTON 2 TIMES. THIS BUTTON RIGHT HERE. AND YOU WILL PAY WITH CREDIT."
She slides the card. I see her press a number. I say "Oh Jesus christ for the love of Jeff.." and I reach over and press the ENTER button 2wice like i've been beating in her fucking coconut head for the past 10 minutes. One thing I can NOT tolerate is my line moving slowly or being held up. That shit is unnacceptable. I give her her receipt, and she tells the manager I have an attitude problem. He tells her she has a brain problem. She says she's gonna start shopping at a competitor, he tells her to bring him something back. She storms out of the store.

DynamicSavior said:

[Edited 12/23/05 22:12pm]

FunkMistress said:

Oh. Don't get me started on that cash assistance shit. We'll be in here until 3121 comes out. People don't realize it's their responsibility to track the balance on their ACCESS cards. I don't know what they're called in other states...So a custome will come in and ask ME:
"Um, do you know how much on my card?"
"How would I know that?"

Thimk.

Or how they get 4 carts full of food and only have $0.43 on their card. Then they go off on me. Like I used it. "UH UH!! OH MY GAH!! I HAVE $400 ON THIS CARD!!! YA'LL MACHINES ARE FUCKED UP." Shit. That's not the only thing. When the sale doesn't go through, the balance of their card will show up on my monitor and I point it out to them. See what they do is send their dumbass kids to the store who are supposed to get bread or milk, and end up buying $50.00 in snacks. Then their mama, susta, auntie, brother, neighbor, pastor, midwife, daycare teacher all up in there with the SAME card. That many people should not know the pin number to one card. Then when they do have the money on there, what do they buy? 2 Liter sodas, big ass family bags of cheese curls, Reeses. Oh, but I go to apply for cash assistance and I don't get shit.

DynamicSavior said:

RipHer2Shreds said:

I'm serious. And the list goes on. They pass that damn card around like monkeys pass herpes deep in the jungle. Something so personal shouldn't be used like that. Then they KILL me when they're down to their last 10 dollars on the cash, and come for diapers. Then they want cigarettes. Then they see they don't have enough for cigarettes and diapers. So they put the diapers back. What kind of SHIT is that? Are they wiping the baby up with the damn foil that comes in cigarette packs?

I worked grocery retail for 18 years...

*In my bagging days, a customer SHAT back in the corner of our store by the
water fountain. No one would touch it...they waited for me to come to work
in order to have it cleaned up. BITCHES...

*I stopped a clearly suspicious customer at the door. He was wearing an overcoat with homemade LONG pockets on the insides, long enough to slip cans of
powder baby formula...he must have had 16 cans in his coat. As we were walking back to a register, he turned around waving a BIG ASS knife. My manager and I step aside and let this looney tunes go out the door.
(As it turned out, we were called into the police station months later to ID this same guy for a different crime, he apparently crashed into a police car.)

*Once at closing time, two guys came into the store, went into our backroom, and went directly to our truck, which was being unloaded. One-by-one, whoever went near the backdoor was directed at gunpoint, into the truck where they were robbed and told to keep quiet. They robbed about 8 people in total.
(Our company wanted to repay some of the stolen possessions, but we had one LOONEY TUNES playa who claimed to have $500 in his wallet, ready to pay his rent. He ruined it for the rest of them as they never got paid)

There are so many...the public truly is crazy!

DynamicSavior said:

HAHAHA You work at a grocery store!! I sympathize since I know first hand what kind of hell that was. People are generally stupid and slow.

DynamicSavior said:

That entire post was gold!

SweetGypsyMoons said:

[Edited 12/24/05 16:44pm]

CinisterCee said:

shit! i got more!! Christmas Eve? Those bitches were out TODAY. oh my GOD.

In our store we have this savings card that we give customers so they can save money on certain items. EMPHASIS ON CERTAIN. Meaning not everything in the go*damn store. People fail to grasp the concept. And it's free, all they have to do is fill a little form out which takes no time at all. Depending on how fast you write. In case a customer forgot theirs, we had a courtesy one, but out of the 4 other stores in the city, our courtesy card usage was 4 times the amount of all the other stores COMBINED. That says a lot about our clientele. So now if they forget their card, they have to apply for a new one. So this is the situation on a DAILY basis. And the regulars know how we do things, yet they refuse to accept and follow the rules.

"Hello! Do you have your bonus card?"
"SHIT!! No I don't! (turns to the person they're with) Do you have yours?"
(the other person)No, I thought you had yours!"
I'm trying to understand why they didn't deal with this before they came out the house. So they turn to me:
"Do you have have a store card you can use?"
"No we don't. All I can do is have you apply for a new one."
"Are you serious?" Like I have to lie about shit like this.
"Yeah. We haven't had a store card since April. Did you want to get another one?"
"What? Why did ya'll get rid of it?" Like it's any of their business....
"Because customers were using it too much."
"Okay. I'll just get a new one." So I hand them a form.
"Aww man. I have to fill this out again??"
"Yeah, for a new card."
"But I don't feel like it."
"Well I can't give you the card unless you fill this form out."
"Shit, use your card."
"We don't have a store one."
"No, use YOUR card."
"I can't, I can get fired for that."
"How will they know?"
"Because my card number is in the system and i'm using this register under my operator number, and they'll track it."
"Damn." The WHOLE time she could be filling the form out....
"Okay. I'll fill it out. Damn, I don't feel like it." She hands it to the other person "Girl, fill this out, I'm tired."
"No, You're getting the card."
so i just take another customer's card and scan it. So I can ring up their 4 bags of $0.25 chips. All that bullshit for some damn chips.

We closed at 6:00 today, people were running in through the out door at 5:55.
We were open ALL day. Of course we had the assbrains that came in to buy like a donut, bag of chips, or a soda, and were mad because they had to wait in line behind the people who wanted to spend some REAL money. I didn't play that shit. I was taking big orders all day. It kept me busy and time passed. If someone came to my lane with some gum or something, I happily sent their miserin' asses right to express. shit.

I don't even want to go into cigarettes.
"How much are your Newports?"
"$5.02."
"WHAT? 5 DOLLAHS?? DAMN!!"
"Did you want a pack?"
"Yeah. Give me 6 packs."

"Oh my God!! Why are cigarettes so damn high?"
"You want to save money?"
"Yeah."
"Then stop buying them."

My job is straight dumbassery.

"How much is a carton of Newports?"
"$46.83."
"Okay. I'll take one."
I get them and ring them up. And they pay me.
"WAITAMINUTE!!! These were supposed to be $38.00. I should get them free because they rung up wrong!!" Is this muthafucka serious?? What is in Newports that has people acting like this?
"First off, we don't accuscan cigarettes, and of course that carton would be $38.00 IF YOU WERE BUYING MARLBOROS."
"OH! Okay. Well, I want those instead."
"You'll have to exchange them at the office."
"Why not here?"
"I already printed your receipt out and there's a difference in the price."
"Well that's not my fault."
"Who's blaming people?"

A manager comes walking past.
"Excuse me..are you a manager?"
She looks at her name tag.
"That's what my gold name tag says. Store Manager. Do you need something?"
"Yeah, these rung up wrong and I wanted a refund for another carton."
"What were they suppose to ring up?"
"$38.00"
"Okay, what you fail to realize is that you're not serious. So i'm gonna go ahead and tell you. You can't be serious. Sir, can you read? If not, you may have glaucoma and or cataracs. And I seriously suggest you start smoking marijuana. Unfortunately, we don't sell that here." My manager's such a smart ass.

Women, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop sending your dumbass husbands/boyfriends/sons into the store if they don't know what the fuck they're doing. They'll come into the store with a WIC check, and after I write the total on the check, they have to verify it by signing their name ON THE FRONT. So I'll hand them the check to sign it, and they sign the back. And I say
"You have to sign it on the front."
"but this is a check."
".....yeah, but you sign WIC checks on the front."
"Okay, where?"
"WHERE IT SAYS 'NAME' AT."
"So I have to sign the front and the back?".....

All typing in this thread did was get me upset thinking about work. I'm going to bed.

SweetGypsyMoons said:

I love one too.

Christmas Eve brings out the WORST in people, don't it???

DynamicSavior said:

PurpleJedi said:

ANY holiday. This year we had a promotion. For each dollar that you spent, you get "points" on your card. If you got 250 points (spend $250) during the past month and a half, we'd pring a certificate out with your matching savings card number on the bottom, and you'd get a free turkey or family size lasagna. People sure thought they were slick by coming in with other certificates that didn't match their card number. This one lady had 6 certificates. And NO muthafuckin card. I don't know what kind of meat she ate, but it wasn't no damn turkey meat. Then people were claiming they didn't redeem their points. See, we CAN find out if you did or not. We use computers. On your receipt, it shows how many "points" you've accumulated. If you or someone else using your card redeemed your points, it takes the points off your card, because it's one certificate per household, not per person. And people will SWEAR up and down they didn't get it or they lost it which is complete bullshit. Because we hand it to them and tell them they have 2 weeks to use it, and(here's the magical part...) TELL THEM NOT TO LOSE IT, BECAUSE ANOTHER ONE WILL NOT BE PRINTED OUT FOR THEM. Then watch the melee unfold. "I LOST IT!!" "I THREW IT AWAY!!" "IT'S IN MY MOTHER'S COFFIN!!" "MY CAT RIPPIED IT UP!!" Well, dig your mama up, drop her and the cat off at the garbage dump to look for it. And if that doesn't work, send them out hunting for some turkey because you're not getting it here. Okay *snaps fingers*
[Edited 12/24/05 17:14pm]

DynamicSavior said:

THAT CARD FORM STORY!!!!

CinisterCee said:

co-

This shit is GOLD!

VoicesCarry said:

all for 4 bags of 25 cent chips

CinisterCee said:

They act like they have to pass a damn physical and shit. All the form asks for his your name, address, and phone number. Because we send special coupons and promotional flyers in the mail to people with cards. And they think we just want to know they're business.

Sometimes we'll have the 12 can boxes of soda on sale 4 for $10.00, and there's a sign that sits at the top of the display, which says "LIMIT 4 PER CUSTOMER." So naturally, we have people who buy 8, 16, 20, 24 boxes, and expect to get some kind of bizarre discount. So when they come to my lane and the cart is full i tell them:
"You know the limit is 4 per customer, right?"
".....no."
"Did you see the sign?"
"What sign?"
"The one that said LIMIT 4 PER CUSTOMER."
"Oh yeah. I saw it."
"Well, each one after 4 will ring up at full price."
"Why?"
"Because it's 4 per customer."
"I don't feel like putting all these back."
"You don't have to. I'll just have to ring up 4 at a time on different receipts."
"Why?"
"Because if I don't, you'll pay over $100.00 for all of these."
"But they're on sale."
"Yeah, 4 per customer."
"But I have more than 4."
"Obviously."
He gives me a strange look.
"Okay, let's do it YOUR way."
"It's the only way if you want to save some money."
I've been there 4 years. I know how to do my fucking job. I wish people would give me a break.

Aww man... LIMIT 4 PER CUSTOMER

CinisterCee said:

Of course, bitches gotta be greedy
"4'S THE LIMIT? AWW SHIT...LET ME GET MY (enter multiples of 4 here) WHILE I STILL CAN!!!"

alright, i got a few stories...they ain't exactly horror stories, like savior's been telling (omg, i wish my boss were as cool as yours ), but they're still fucked up...

my very first job was working as a cashier at walgreens when i was about 17 or so. this particular walgreens i worked at was a 24-hour store, so we were open everyday...meaning, people would be swarming in on x-mas eve for last-minute gifts. i remember this one time i was working, and this dude comes through my line with one of those annoying-assed songbird clocks (y'know, the ones with the recordings of the different birds that chirp at the top of each hour).

i scanned it in--the scanner read it as a totally different item that was much cheaper than the actual clock (the clock was cheap as fuck, like $20). so, i turned over the package to see what the hell was the matter with the barcode.

dont'cha know the muthafucka actually ripped a sticker off of a cheaper item, stuck it over the barcode on the box in order to try and cheat the store out of a wonky-assed clock?!!! i looked at that shit, handed it back to the guy, looked 'im in the eye and said "uh-uh. you gotta pay full price for it." dude knew his ass was caught, set the clock aside on a display shelf and walked outta the store.

walgreens may be cheap, but not THAT cheap, dear.

DynamicSavior said:

omfg, yes! i dunno how many muthafuckas came into my store with a coupon for those single rolls of toilet paper and they only had just one coupon with 'em--on the coupon on the bottom it'll usually say "limit 4 per customer", but yet n'still i'd have little ol' ladies in my line with like 10 fuckin rolls of tissue and one coupon, then they'd have the nerve to get all pissy with me when i tell 'em that i can't ring off the rest of the shit with ONE coupon.

...yeah. you can talk to my fuckin manager, they'll tell you the exact same thing. fuckjoy.

I remember my father walking into Argos trying to get a new toaster, and he took two pieces of burnt toast with him! He also complained about some meatballs because there weren't as many as shown on the packet and they were much smaller.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

I remember this lady did that shit once. We had cornish hens BOGO, and she ripped the tags off of 2, and attached them to 2 steaks. What a dumb fucking bitch. She didn't eat steak THAT night.

DynamicSavior said:

DynamicSavior said:

dumb-ass! just straight up stupid! i woulda had to fight the urge to knock her upside the head with one of them steaks.