Quote from her interview with Oprah, airing August 19

on own network
-
❝ I lost my best friend… everything I knew switched — switched in a night. And I couldn’t control that. It’s not easy to interpret on camera, not with the world watching. I felt like the only person they hate right now is him. It was a weird, confusing space to be in, because as angry as I was — as angry and hurt and betrayed — I just felt like he made that mistake because he needed help, and who’s going to help him? Nobody’s going to say he needs help, everybody’s going to say he’s a monster, without looking at the source. And I was more concerned about him.

Well, tbqh, she is kinda right and this is exactly why I don't participate in the 'Let's bash Chris Brown today; all day, everyday" threads.

According to Chris Brown, himself, he admitted to being a witness to domestic abuse. I'm not sure if he is one himself, but even if he isn't he already grew up in a home w/o a lot of positive role models, particularly positive male role models. As far as Chris Brown may or may not know, there is a good chance that the only way he's learned to deal with anger is through violence. So while many people know that's not the best way to deal with things, he may not be aware of that, because the only experience he has to pull from is the one he grew up with. So, yes, many people are aware that he was wrong for hitting Rhianna. He's wrong for throwing around chairs and acting a fool @ GMA. Yet, he himself may not be able to view himself as being wrong. If he does know what he did is wrong, he may not be able to stop himself from doing those things. So why doesn't he just go seek help you ask?

Well, it's the same reason that a lot of people don't seek help. It's harder to see out when you are inside as opposed to being on the outside looking in. It's like his own father/stepfather. Why didn't he just seek help when he was abusing his wife? Why didn't the wife seek help sooner when he was beating on her? It's very hard to come to terms with things, especially when there's change involved. Especially when it's very likely that the father/stepfather probably grew up in a similar household himself. A lot of people don't even realize that they handle stress in ways that harm themselves and/or others. Even if they do, many don't know how to handle are may be too scared to. (Aside from psycho/sociopaths who don't even know how to empathize with others at all.)

This is not giving him an excuse to what he did by any means, but at the same time I feel that people are like "You stop being a victim when you harm someone else" and that's not true. Like when that news reporter made a public comment about Chris hitting Rhianna. Chris already paid his dues to society at that point. There was no need for that, especially when he's also a victim of abuse himself.

That being said, Rhianna could help Chris seek the help that he needs, but since he is young and hard headed at this age he might be apprehensive about it. Yet, at least, she can feel a little bit better about herself for trying. Jumping back into his arms isn't really going to help anything if that's what she's thinking though. That would be counter-productive as it would just reward his behavior.

WaterInYourBath said:

Times 6ixx.

Not just another day at the beach: Chris ''Beat 'em Down'' Brown demonstrates his aquatic-based technique for keeping his b*tches in check.

I hate calling a woman a bitch but she is the height of dumbbitchness.

Unholyalliance said:

Well, tbqh, she is kinda right and this is exactly why I don't participate in the 'Let's bash Chris Brown today; all day, everyday" threads.

According to Chris Brown, himself, he admitted to being a witness to domestic abuse. I'm not sure if he is one himself, but even if he isn't he already grew up in a home w/o a lot of positive role models, particularly positive male role models. As far as Chris Brown may or may not know, there is a good chance that the only way he's learned to deal with anger is through violence. So while many people know that's not the best way to deal with things, he may not be aware of that, because the only experience he has to pull from is the one he grew up with. So, yes, many people are aware that he was wrong for hitting Rhianna. He's wrong for throwing around chairs and acting a fool @ GMA. Yet, he himself may not be able to view himself as being wrong. If he does know what he did is wrong, he may not be able to stop himself from doing those things. So why doesn't he just go seek help you ask?

Well, it's the same reason that a lot of people don't seek help. It's harder to see out when you are inside as opposed to being on the outside looking in. It's like his own father/stepfather. Why didn't he just seek help when he was abusing his wife? Why didn't the wife seek help sooner when he was beating on her? It's very hard to come to terms with things, especially when there's change involved. Especially when it's very likely that the father/stepfather probably grew up in a similar household himself. A lot of people don't even realize that they handle stress in ways that harm themselves and/or others. Even if they do, many don't know how to handle are may be too scared to. (Aside from psycho/sociopaths who don't even know how to empathize with others at all.)

This is not giving him an excuse to what he did by any means, but at the same time I feel that people are like "You stop being a victim when you harm someone else" and that's not true. Like when that news reporter made a public comment about Chris hitting Rhianna. Chris already paid his dues to society at that point. There was no need for that, especially when he's also a victim of abuse himself.

That being said, Rhianna could help Chris seek the help that he needs, but since he is young and hard headed at this age he might be apprehensive about it. Yet, at least, she can feel a little bit better about herself for trying. Jumping back into his arms isn't really going to help anything if that's what she's thinking though. That would be counter-productive as it would just reward his behavior.

Excuse. I was a victime of sexual abuse but I didn't go out and sexually abuse anyone. If Chris Brown needs help, NOTHING on this earth is stopping him from getting it. This motherfucker don't want help. Instead of getting his shit together, he continues to act out like a three year old and instead of actually giving a damn about him, Team Breezy () cheer him on.

Paid his dues to society? When did that happen?

Stymie said:

Unholyalliance said:

Well, tbqh, she is kinda right and this is exactly why I don't participate in the 'Let's bash Chris Brown today; all day, everyday" threads.

According to Chris Brown, himself, he admitted to being a witness to domestic abuse. I'm not sure if he is one himself, but even if he isn't he already grew up in a home w/o a lot of positive role models, particularly positive male role models. As far as Chris Brown may or may not know, there is a good chance that the only way he's learned to deal with anger is through violence. So while many people know that's not the best way to deal with things, he may not be aware of that, because the only experience he has to pull from is the one he grew up with. So, yes, many people are aware that he was wrong for hitting Rhianna. He's wrong for throwing around chairs and acting a fool @ GMA. Yet, he himself may not be able to view himself as being wrong. If he does know what he did is wrong, he may not be able to stop himself from doing those things. So why doesn't he just go seek help you ask?

Well, it's the same reason that a lot of people don't seek help. It's harder to see out when you are inside as opposed to being on the outside looking in. It's like his own father/stepfather. Why didn't he just seek help when he was abusing his wife? Why didn't the wife seek help sooner when he was beating on her? It's very hard to come to terms with things, especially when there's change involved. Especially when it's very likely that the father/stepfather probably grew up in a similar household himself. A lot of people don't even realize that they handle stress in ways that harm themselves and/or others. Even if they do, many don't know how to handle are may be too scared to. (Aside from psycho/sociopaths who don't even know how to empathize with others at all.)

This is not giving him an excuse to what he did by any means, but at the same time I feel that people are like "You stop being a victim when you harm someone else" and that's not true. Like when that news reporter made a public comment about Chris hitting Rhianna. Chris already paid his dues to society at that point. There was no need for that, especially when he's also a victim of abuse himself.

That being said, Rhianna could help Chris seek the help that he needs, but since he is young and hard headed at this age he might be apprehensive about it. Yet, at least, she can feel a little bit better about herself for trying. Jumping back into his arms isn't really going to help anything if that's what she's thinking though. That would be counter-productive as it would just reward his behavior.

Excuse. I was a victime of sexual abuse but I didn't go out and sexually abuse anyone. If Chris Brown needs help, NOTHING on this earth is stopping him from getting it. This motherfucker don't want help. Instead of getting his shit together, he continues to act out like a three year old and instead of actually giving a damn about him, Team Breezy () cheer him on.

Paid his dues to society? When did that happen?

No it isn't and thats rather judgemental to say.......

Everyone responds and reacts to things differently. Just because you didnt sexually abuse anybody doesnt necessarily mean someone else who has been sexually abused wont do the same because of what happened to their childhood or early experiences. Its perfectly naturally that someone would be traumatized by first experiences. However, some react different to them but that doesnt excuse the few who are affected just because some arent.

Unholyalliance said:

Well, tbqh, she is kinda right and this is exactly why I don't participate in the 'Let's bash Chris Brown today; all day, everyday" threads.

According to Chris Brown, himself, he admitted to being a witness to domestic abuse. I'm not sure if he is one himself, but even if he isn't he already grew up in a home w/o a lot of positive role models, particularly positive male role models. As far as Chris Brown may or may not know, there is a good chance that the only way he's learned to deal with anger is through violence. So while many people know that's not the best way to deal with things, he may not be aware of that, because the only experience he has to pull from is the one he grew up with. So, yes, many people are aware that he was wrong for hitting Rhianna. He's wrong for throwing around chairs and acting a fool @ GMA. Yet, he himself may not be able to view himself as being wrong. If he does know what he did is wrong, he may not be able to stop himself from doing those things. So why doesn't he just go seek help you ask?

Well, it's the same reason that a lot of people don't seek help. It's harder to see out when you are inside as opposed to being on the outside looking in. It's like his own father/stepfather. Why didn't he just seek help when he was abusing his wife? Why didn't the wife seek help sooner when he was beating on her? It's very hard to come to terms with things, especially when there's change involved. Especially when it's very likely that the father/stepfather probably grew up in a similar household himself. A lot of people don't even realize that they handle stress in ways that harm themselves and/or others. Even if they do, many don't know how to handle are may be too scared to. (Aside from psycho/sociopaths who don't even know how to empathize with others at all.)

This is not giving him an excuse to what he did by any means, but at the same time I feel that people are like "You stop being a victim when you harm someone else" and that's not true. Like when that news reporter made a public comment about Chris hitting Rhianna. Chris already paid his dues to society at that point. There was no need for that, especially when he's also a victim of abuse himself.

That being said, Rhianna could help Chris seek the help that he needs, but since he is young and hard headed at this age he might be apprehensive about it. Yet, at least, she can feel a little bit better about herself for trying. Jumping back into his arms isn't really going to help anything if that's what she's thinking though. That would be counter-productive as it would just reward his behavior.

Agree

mjscarousal said:

Stymie said:

Excuse. I was a victime of sexual abuse but I didn't go out and sexually abuse anyone. If Chris Brown needs help, NOTHING on this earth is stopping him from getting it. This motherfucker don't want help. Instead of getting his shit together, he continues to act out like a three year old and instead of actually giving a damn about him, Team Breezy () cheer him on.

Paid his dues to society? When did that happen?

No it isn't and thats rather judgemental to say.......

Everyone responds and reacts to things differently. Just because you didnt sexually abuse anybody doesnt necessarily mean someone else who has been sexually abused wont do the same because of what happened to their childhood or early experiences. Its perfectly naturally that someone would be traumatized by first experiences. However, some react different to them but that doesnt excuse the few who are affected just because some arent.

I don't feel what I said was judgmental at all. Saying that someone will react a certain way because of certain experiences they had kind of takes the responsibility off of them, in my opinion. He knew what he did was wrong and that's why his bitch ass ran. Now, the smart thing to do would be to seek counseling for those traumatic experiences in one's life before one decides to use another as a punching bag.

Stymie said:

Excuse. I was a victime of sexual abuse but I didn't go out and sexually abuse anyone.

While I am sorry that happened to you, I do want to remind you that people are affected and react to things differently from one another. Example, there are people who are on the sexual offenders list who also were victims of sexual abuse themselves. Like check out this article:

Sexual offender wins lott...se victims

Of course not ALL sex abuse victims turn out to be sexual offenders, but it does happen. Just like not all abuse victims turn out to be psychopathic killers either, but sometimes it does happen.

If Chris Brown needs help, NOTHING on this earth is stopping him from getting it. This motherfucker don't want help. Instead of getting his shit together, he continues to act out like a three year old and instead of actually giving a damn about him, Team Breezy () cheer him on.

It's true that the only one stopping Chris Brown is Chris Brown himself. It's hard for people to admit that they are having a hard time and need help. American culture, in general, I feel discourages males from dealing with their feelings or rather casts it aside as if they don't really matter.I also feel that something like this is even more prevelant in black American culture. That being said, I'm not excusing his actions. What he did was still wrong, but I don't consider him to be emotionless monster. He is someone who is in dire need of help before he continues to hurt others and himself.

Paid his dues to society? When did that happen?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't going to court and carrying out your sentence considered 'paying your dues to society'? (Maybe I'm wrong on that one? If I am, my bad.)

As a society, we have to give up this desire to not be judgemental.....

Bout fucking time somebody started making judgements. Especially their own as they relate to their personal lives. Chris Brown & Rihanna are good places to start.

mjscarousal said:

Unholyalliance said:

Well, tbqh, she is kinda right and this is exactly why I don't participate in the 'Let's bash Chris Brown today; all day, everyday" threads.

According to Chris Brown, himself, he admitted to being a witness to domestic abuse. I'm not sure if he is one himself, but even if he isn't he already grew up in a home w/o a lot of positive role models, particularly positive male role models. As far as Chris Brown may or may not know, there is a good chance that the only way he's learned to deal with anger is through violence. So while many people know that's not the best way to deal with things, he may not be aware of that, because the only experience he has to pull from is the one he grew up with. So, yes, many people are aware that he was wrong for hitting Rhianna. He's wrong for throwing around chairs and acting a fool @ GMA. Yet, he himself may not be able to view himself as being wrong. If he does know what he did is wrong, he may not be able to stop himself from doing those things. So why doesn't he just go seek help you ask?

Well, it's the same reason that a lot of people don't seek help. It's harder to see out when you are inside as opposed to being on the outside looking in. It's like his own father/stepfather. Why didn't he just seek help when he was abusing his wife? Why didn't the wife seek help sooner when he was beating on her? It's very hard to come to terms with things, especially when there's change involved. Especially when it's very likely that the father/stepfather probably grew up in a similar household himself. A lot of people don't even realize that they handle stress in ways that harm themselves and/or others. Even if they do, many don't know how to handle are may be too scared to. (Aside from psycho/sociopaths who don't even know how to empathize with others at all.)

This is not giving him an excuse to what he did by any means, but at the same time I feel that people are like "You stop being a victim when you harm someone else" and that's not true. Like when that news reporter made a public comment about Chris hitting Rhianna. Chris already paid his dues to society at that point. There was no need for that, especially when he's also a victim of abuse himself.

That being said, Rhianna could help Chris seek the help that he needs, but since he is young and hard headed at this age he might be apprehensive about it. Yet, at least, she can feel a little bit better about herself for trying. Jumping back into his arms isn't really going to help anything if that's what she's thinking though. That would be counter-productive as it would just reward his behavior.

Agree

Agree as well.

Stymie said:

mjscarousal said:

No it isn't and thats rather judgemental to say.......

Everyone responds and reacts to things differently. Just because you didnt sexually abuse anybody doesnt necessarily mean someone else who has been sexually abused wont do the same because of what happened to their childhood or early experiences. Its perfectly naturally that someone would be traumatized by first experiences. However, some react different to them but that doesnt excuse the few who are affected just because some arent.

I don't feel what I said was judgmental at all. Saying that someone will react a certain way because of certain experiences they had kind of takes the responsibility off of them, in my opinion. He knew what he did was wrong and that's why his bitch ass ran. Now, the smart thing to do would be to seek counseling for those traumatic experiences in one's life before one decides to use another as a punching bag.

It does take responsibility off......... but it is judgemental to imply that everyone that has been abused in their childhood should not be abusers because you personally are not despite what happened in your childhood (Which I am sincerely sorry to hear by the way)

Each person is different as well as circumstances and everyone does not react the same to everything. Im not trying to justify CB's behavior but at least we have an understanding why he is the way he is and what affected him early on which makes a difference.

No one cares anymore

errant said:

As a society, we have to give up this desire to not be judgemental.....

I hope that this irony.

Unholyalliance said:

Stymie said:

Excuse. I was a victime of sexual abuse but I didn't go out and sexually abuse anyone.

While I am sorry that happened to you, I do want to remind you that people are affected and react to things differently from one another. Example, there are people who are on the sexual offenders list who also were victims of sexual abuse themselves. Like check out this article:

Sexual offender wins lott...se victims

Of course not ALL sex abuse victims turn out to be sexual offenders, but it does happen. Just like not all abuse victims turn out to be psychopathic killers either, but sometimes it does happen.

It's true that the only one stopping Chris Brown is Chris Brown himself. It's hard for people to admit that they are having a hard time and need help. American culture, in general, I feel discourages males from dealing with their feelings or rather casts it aside as if they don't really matter.I also feel that something like this is even more prevelant in black American culture. That being said, I'm not excusing his actions. What he did was still wrong, but I don't consider him to be emotionless monster. He is someone who is in dire need of help before he continues to hurt others and himself.

Paid his dues to society? When did that happen?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't going to court and carrying out your sentence considered 'paying your dues to society'? (Maybe I'm wrong on that one? If I am, my bad.)

Did he do an ounce of jail time? Then I don't consider his "debt" paid.

mjscarousal said:

Stymie said:

I don't feel what I said was judgmental at all. Saying that someone will react a certain way because of certain experiences they had kind of takes the responsibility off of them, in my opinion. He knew what he did was wrong and that's why his bitch ass ran. Now, the smart thing to do would be to seek counseling for those traumatic experiences in one's life before one decides to use another as a punching bag.

It does take responsibility off......... but it is judgemental to imply that everyone that has been abused in their childhood should not be abusers because you personally are not despite what happened in your childhood (Which I am sincerely sorry to hear by the way)

Each person is different as well as circumstances and everyone does not react the same to everything. Im not trying to justify CB's behavior but at least we have an understanding why he is the way he is and what affected him early on which makes a difference.

I have to disagree with you here. No one should be an abuser.It is a criminal act which has consequences.

And I do understand that people react differently in different circumstances but I will NEVER understand doing something to someone that I didn't want done to me.

errant said:

As a society, we have to give up this desire to not be judgemental.....

Bout fucking time somebody started making judgements. Especially their own as they relate to their personal lives. Chris Brown & Rihanna are good places to start.

errant said:

As a society, we have to give up this desire to not be judgemental.....

Bout fucking time somebody started making judgements. Especially their own as they relate to their personal lives. Chris Brown & Rihanna are good places to start.

And first, people need to actually learn the definition of that word.

Stymie said:

mjscarousal said:

It does take responsibility off......... but it is judgemental to imply that everyone that has been abused in their childhood should not be abusers because you personally are not despite what happened in your childhood (Which I am sincerely sorry to hear by the way)

Each person is different as well as circumstances and everyone does not react the same to everything. Im not trying to justify CB's behavior but at least we have an understanding why he is the way he is and what affected him early on which makes a difference.

I have to disagree with you here. No one should be an abuser.It is a criminal act which has consequences.

And I do understand that people react differently in different circumstances but I will NEVER understand doing something to someone that I didn't want done to me.

I agree that no one should be an abuser but it is judgemental to suggest that anybody that has been a victim to bad childhoods, have been abused or whatever the case may be should just get over it and live a normal life...... NO that is not how it works.

Everyone reacts to things differently... you HAVE to understand that as difficult as it may seem. Not everyone is like you so you cant possibly say that everyone should react the same as you...

mjscarousal said:

Stymie said:

I have to disagree with you here. No one should be an abuser.It is a criminal act which has consequences.

And I do understand that people react differently in different circumstances but I will NEVER understand doing something to someone that I didn't want done to me.

I agree that no one should be an abuser but it is judgemental to suggest that anybody that has been a victim to bad childhoods, have been abused or whatever the case may be should just get over it and live a normal life...... NO that is not how it works.

Everyone reacts to things differently... you HAVE to understand that as difficult as it may seem. Not everyone is like you so you cant possibly say that everyone should react the same as you...

Never did I say anyone should react like me.

Nor did I say they had to get over it and live a normal life. I would not be where I am if I had not gotten help and I even said Chris should get help and should have gotten help when he was going through his issues instead of beating the shit out of someone.

Stymie said:

mjscarousal said:

I agree that no one should be an abuser but it is judgemental to suggest that anybody that has been a victim to bad childhoods, have been abused or whatever the case may be should just get over it and live a normal life...... NO that is not how it works.

Everyone reacts to things differently... you HAVE to understand that as difficult as it may seem. Not everyone is like you so you cant possibly say that everyone should react the same as you...

Never did I say anyone should react like me.

Nor did I say they had to get over it and live a normal life. I would not be where I am if I had not gotten help and I even said Chris should get help and should have gotten help when he was going through his issues instead of beating the shit out of someone.

How do you know he hasnt tried getting help? Maybe he has or hasnt nobody really knows...

Implying that people should excuse the fact that CB had an abusive father speaks volumes to me and is beyond judgemental.

It explains alot about CB and why he acts the way he does.. that shouldnt be excused....

mjscarousal said:

Stymie said:

Never did I say anyone should react like me.

Nor did I say they had to get over it and live a normal life. I would not be where I am if I had not gotten help and I even said Chris should get help and should have gotten help when he was going through his issues instead of beating the shit out of someone.

How do you know he hasnt tried getting help? Maybe he has or hasnt nobody really knows...

Implying that people should excuse the fact that CB had an abusive father speaks volumes to me and is beyond judgemental.

It explains alot about CB and why he acts the way he does.. that shouldnt be excused....

You're right: I don't know if he's tried to get help but his behavior since this incident suggests to me that he hasn't.

And I did not say people should excuse that he had an abusive father. I have no idea where you got that from.

I will agree that I made a judgment but I don't think it's an unfair one.

I can't see an intelligent person becoming an abuser because they witnessed abuse growing up. I witnessed lots of shit in my trailer park (LOL!) but I was smart enough to know right from wrong. I've never hit anyone...ever. Chris has low intelligence combined with no impulse control. This is the hallmark of most people who commit violent crimes.

If his personality didn't suck and he had white privilege, people would be more forgiving and willing to help him. Look at Sean Penn!

Whatever Mr. Brown childhood an/or his adult problems, ARE HIS. Best friends, lovers, husbands, wives, and signifciant others don't bite and beat the shit out of you. Women need to learn not everything is their problem, some people problems are beyond their scope. Ivy/Stymie point of view is spot on in my opinion.

Stymie said:

mjscarousal said:

How do you know he hasnt tried getting help? Maybe he has or hasnt nobody really knows...

Implying that people should excuse the fact that CB had an abusive father speaks volumes to me and is beyond judgemental.

It explains alot about CB and why he acts the way he does.. that shouldnt be excused....

You're right: I don't know if he's tried to get help but his behavior since this incident suggests to me that he hasn't.

And I did not say people should excuse that he had an abusive father. I have no idea where you got that from.

I will agree that I made a judgment but I don't think it's an unfair one.

Stymie said:

Excuse. I was a victime of sexual abuse but I didn't go out and sexually abuse anyone. If Chris Brown needs help, NOTHING on this earth is stopping him from getting it. This motherfucker don't want help. Instead of getting his shit together, he continues to act out like a three year old and instead of actually giving a damn about him, Team Breezy () cheer him on.

Paid his dues to society? When did that happen?

And I am still not saying people should excuse him. I think you are misunderstanding me.

mjscarousal said:

Stymie said:

Stymie said:

Excuse. I was a victime of sexual abuse but I didn't go out and sexually abuse anyone. If Chris Brown needs help, NOTHING on this earth is stopping him from getting it. This motherfucker don't want help. Instead of getting his shit together, he continues to act out like a three year old and instead of actually giving a damn about him, Team Breezy () cheer him on.

Paid his dues to society? When did that happen?

MidniteMagnet said:

I can't see an intelligent person becoming an abuser because they witnessed abuse growing up. I witnessed lots of shit in my trailer park (LOL!) but I was smart enough to know right from wrong. I've never hit anyone...ever. Chris has low intelligence combined with no impulse control. This is the hallmark of most people who commit violent crimes.

If his personality didn't suck and he had white privilege, people would be more forgiving and willing to help him. Look at Sean Penn!

I agree.

I remember an interview where he once said, because my dad (or step-dad) hit my mom, I would never ever touch a woman.