I think everyone can see the argument for forgiveness and not endlessly judging someone for past transgressions, but surely that is premised on the person who was at fault taking responsibility for their actions and expressing contrition. I've never seen that from this guy. When someone brought it up on a tv show, he went back to his old ways and threw a chair through a window, and tweeted about his annoyance and his sense of victimhood - something which you see again in the statement in response to this interview.

I sympathise with him to the extent he's had to witness abuse as a child, but in the moment he visits that abuse on another person, I lose my goodwill towards him, and I see no reason to move from that position whilst he still (as far as I can see) fails to assume responsibility for his actions and take the steps necessary to avoid ever repeating them.

purplethunder3121 said:

Too many women make excuses for their abusers.

Personally, I think the daft cow has to revisit it now in a tearful, 'sympathetic' tone to avoid people asking uncomfortable questions about why she make the glib choice to gain a bit of cheap publicity and further her own career by collaborating with him after the incident. Though I felt she handled herself well at the time, and I felt bad for her, I took that move as a betrayal of my goodwill. I don't have much respect for either of them, these days, if I'm honest.

Identity said:

Not just another day at the beach: Chris ''Beat 'em Down'' Brown demonstrates his aquatic-based technique for keeping his b*tches in check.

I just...wow

And regarding this whole Rihanna interview thing? Meh. I'll be tuning in tomorrow.

deebee said:

I think everyone can see the argument for forgiveness and not endlessly judging someone for past transgressions, but surely that is premised on the person who was at fault taking responsibility for their actions and expressing contrition. I've never seen that from this guy. When someone brought it up on a tv show, he went back to his old ways and threw a chair through a window, and tweeted about his annoyance and his sense of victimhood - something which you see again in the statement in response to this interview.

I sympathise with him to the extent he's had to witness abuse as a child, but in the moment he visits that abuse on another person, I lose my goodwill towards him, and I see no reason to move from that position whilst he still (as far as I can see) fails to assume responsibility for his actions and take the steps necessary to avoid ever repeating them.

While I can certainly have sympathy for any child exposed to the trauma of domestic abuse, at what point does the adult who endured that trauma take responsibility for themselves and make a personal choice not to perpetuate the dysfunction?

I am not seeing that from Chris and Rihanna comes off sounding like a bit of an enabler, possibly with a touch of battered woman syndrome.

Perhaps they would both be better served by seeking long term professional counseling and doing less talking/acting out in public with zero chance of resolving their issues and improving their lives.

deebee said:

purplethunder3121 said:

Too many women make excuses for their abusers.

Personally, I think the daft cow has to revisit it now in a tearful, 'sympathetic' tone to avoid people asking uncomfortable questions about why she make the glib choice to gain a bit of cheap publicity and further her own career by collaborating with him after the incident. Though I felt she handled herself well at the time, and I felt bad for her, I took that move as a betrayal of my goodwill. I don't have much respect for either of them, these days, if I'm honest.

HAPPYPERSON said:

Rihanna is still in love with Chris, she was favorting pictures of her and chris together on instagram a few weeks ago

obviously she still loves him

Unholyalliance said:

Well, tbqh, she is kinda right and this is exactly why I don't participate in the 'Let's bash Chris Brown today; all day, everyday" threads.

According to Chris Brown, himself, he admitted to being a witness to domestic abuse. I'm not sure if he is one himself, but even if he isn't he already grew up in a home w/o a lot of positive role models, particularly positive male role models. As far as Chris Brown may or may not know, there is a good chance that the only way he's learned to deal with anger is through violence. So while many people know that's not the best way to deal with things, he may not be aware of that, because the only experience he has to pull from is the one he grew up with. So, yes, many people are aware that he was wrong for hitting Rhianna. He's wrong for throwing around chairs and acting a fool @ GMA. Yet, he himself may not be able to view himself as being wrong. If he does know what he did is wrong, he may not be able to stop himself from doing those things. So why doesn't he just go seek help you ask?

Well, it's the same reason that a lot of people don't seek help. It's harder to see out when you are inside as opposed to being on the outside looking in. It's like his own father/stepfather. Why didn't he just seek help when he was abusing his wife? Why didn't the wife seek help sooner when he was beating on her? It's very hard to come to terms with things, especially when there's change involved. Especially when it's very likely that the father/stepfather probably grew up in a similar household himself. A lot of people don't even realize that they handle stress in ways that harm themselves and/or others. Even if they do, many don't know how to handle are may be too scared to. (Aside from psycho/sociopaths who don't even know how to empathize with others at all.)

This is not giving him an excuse to what he did by any means, but at the same time I feel that people are like "You stop being a victim when you harm someone else" and that's not true. Like when that news reporter made a public comment about Chris hitting Rhianna. Chris already paid his dues to society at that point. There was no need for that, especially when he's also a victim of abuse himself.

That being said, Rhianna could help Chris seek the help that he needs, but since he is young and hard headed at this age he might be apprehensive about it. Yet, at least, she can feel a little bit better about herself for trying. Jumping back into his arms isn't really going to help anything if that's what she's thinking though. That would be counter-productive as it would just reward his behavior.

"You stop being a victim when you harm someone else" and that's not true.

It kind of is. The victim is now an attacker and can never expect anyone to have sympthy for them since they are now doing the same things that happend to them or their family members.

I do not like using the B-word but this chick is a dumb B and if she keeps messing around with Chris she is going to be losing more teeth and having are eyes closed a few more times but maybe she will learn.

TD3 said:

Whatever Mr. Brown childhood an/or his adult problems, ARE HIS. Best friends, lovers, husbands, wives, and signifciant others don't bite and beat the shit out of you. Women need to learn not everything is their problem, some people problems are beyond their scope. Ivy/Stymie point of view is spot on in my opinion.

Exactly.

Rihanna needs a good friend who is not just spending Rihanna's money on their holiday. She needs a friend who is going to tell her, that she needs to stop paying attention to Chris Brown or any other man in her life and start paying attention to herself.

She needs a friend who insists she reads all books by Robin Norwood, and reads out loud this book to Rihanna:

nursev said:

HAPPYPERSON said:

Rihanna is still in love with Chris, she was favorting pictures of her and chris together on instagram a few weeks ago

obviously she still loves him

I think love gets mixed up with obsession.

She seems obsessed, and that is quite different than love.

purplethunder3121 said:

Too many women make excuses for their abusers.

Yes, that is why abusers can continue with their behaviour.

Abusers are like addicts, they will allways see themselves as the victim. They will come up with a sad story about their past.

However, it's the girls and woman that allow abusers to do what they do. And as long as women continue making excuses for their abusers, these man will continue.

I'm not blaming women at all. I do wish that women would educate themselves about how man manipulate them. I wished women would make an effort to become emotionally independent.

Only than women can stop their abusers. Because than, they see the reality of the situation and do what is best for everybody involved. Walk out of the abusive situation and never turn back.

dJJ said:

purplethunder3121 said:

Too many women make excuses for their abusers.

Yes, that is why abusers can continue with their behaviour.

Abusers are like addicts, they will allways see themselves as the victim. They will come up with a sad story about their past.

However, it's the girls and woman that allow abusers to do what they do. And as long as women continue making excuses for their abusers, these man will continue.

I'm not blaming women at all. I do wish that women would educate themselves about how man manipulate them. I wished women would make an effort to become emotionally independent.

Only than women can stop their abusers. Because than, they see the reality of the situation and do what is best for everybody involved. Walk out of the abusive situation and never turn back.

Rihanna said he needed help. Don't we "help" addicts?

Cinny said:

dJJ said:

Yes, that is why abusers can continue with their behaviour.

Abusers are like addicts, they will allways see themselves as the victim. They will come up with a sad story about their past.

However, it's the girls and woman that allow abusers to do what they do. And as long as women continue making excuses for their abusers, these man will continue.

I'm not blaming women at all. I do wish that women would educate themselves about how man manipulate them. I wished women would make an effort to become emotionally independent.

Only than women can stop their abusers. Because than, they see the reality of the situation and do what is best for everybody involved. Walk out of the abusive situation and never turn back.

Rihanna said he needed help. Don't we "help" addicts?

That exactly is Rihanna her problem.

She needs help.

She is addicted to him and imagening that he needs her.

She has a relationship addiction.

deebee said:

I think everyone can see the argument for forgiveness and not endlessly judging someone for past transgressions, but surely that is premised on the person who was at fault taking responsibility for their actions and expressing contrition. I've never seen that from this guy. When someone brought it up on a tv show, he went back to his old ways and threw a chair through a window, and tweeted about his annoyance and his sense of victimhood - something which you see again in the statement in response to this interview.

I sympathise with him to the extent he's had to witness abuse as a child, but in the moment he visits that abuse on another person, I lose my goodwill towards him, and I see no reason to move from that position whilst he still (as far as I can see) fails to assume responsibility for his actions and take the steps necessary to avoid ever repeating them.

to me any form of trying to have sympathy for him goes out the door when i look past the Rihanna incident, if you take that out of the equation his issues are deep and i can site many issues of him being a homophob, be-rating his fans on twitter, fights in clubs etc....There comes a time when u have to accept this is who you are, YES its terrible what he went through or saw as a child, but, if you keep making the excuse you cannot find a way around it. Daryl Strawberry former mets star, had drug issues for years, he blamed everyone, he blamed the fans for booing him, he blamed other players, ex wives until finally he looked in the mirror and found the real source to blame, HIMSELF. And im sorry the kid gloves have to come off with Chris, going on Oprah or whatever is making matters worse cause now he has reasons to continue. Robert Downey Jr was given pot by his father when he was like 10 years old and of course that enviroment got worse and grew into other drugs and violations, till Robert WENT TO JAIL for never ever hurting anyone striking anyone, he went in for possession of drugs, and he did time in REAL JAIL, and that woke him up, he seperated himself from the "fast lane" friends, and got better, learned to deal with it. Chris is surrounded by the same people all the time and then he goes clubbing with thugs and hangs with the guy who has slept with his ex and hes there with his thugs etc....

sympathy time is over

"No one wanted 2 help him, they only call him a monster"

lastdecember said:

deebee said:

I think everyone can see the argument for forgiveness and not endlessly judging someone for past transgressions, but surely that is premised on the person who was at fault taking responsibility for their actions and expressing contrition. I've never seen that from this guy. When someone brought it up on a tv show, he went back to his old ways and threw a chair through a window, and tweeted about his annoyance and his sense of victimhood - something which you see again in the statement in response to this interview.

I sympathise with him to the extent he's had to witness abuse as a child, but in the moment he visits that abuse on another person, I lose my goodwill towards him, and I see no reason to move from that position whilst he still (as far as I can see) fails to assume responsibility for his actions and take the steps necessary to avoid ever repeating them.

to me any form of trying to have sympathy for him goes out the door when i look past the Rihanna incident, if you take that out of the equation his issues are deep and i can site many issues of him being a homophob, be-rating his fans on twitter, fights in clubs etc....There comes a time when u have to accept this is who you are, YES its terrible what he went through or saw as a child, but, if you keep making the excuse you cannot find a way around it. Daryl Strawberry former mets star, had drug issues for years, he blamed everyone, he blamed the fans for booing him, he blamed other players, ex wives until finally he looked in the mirror and found the real source to blame, HIMSELF. And im sorry the kid gloves have to come off with Chris, going on Oprah or whatever is making matters worse cause now he has reasons to continue. Robert Downey Jr was given pot by his father when he was like 10 years old and of course that enviroment got worse and grew into other drugs and violations, till Robert WENT TO JAIL for never ever hurting anyone striking anyone, he went in for possession of drugs, and he did time in REAL JAIL, and that woke him up, he seperated himself from the "fast lane" friends, and got better, learned to deal with it. Chris is surrounded by the same people all the time and then he goes clubbing with thugs and hangs with the guy who has slept with his ex and hes there with his thugs etc....

sympathy time is over

I dont think people should have sympathy for him either because he is a grown adult. However, people have an understanding of why he acts the way he does.

Photo: PA

Rihanna has admitted that she misses her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown in her interview with US chat show host Oprah Winfrey – scroll down and click to watch.

The 'Talk That Talk' star's interview on Winfrey's Next Chapter programme, which will be broadcast in full tomorrow evening, has attracted widespread attention this week after it was revealed she would discuss her controversial relationship with Brown in detail on the show.

Rihanna's relationship with Brown ended after he attacked her on the eve of the Grammy Awards in 2009 and was subsequently sentenced to five years of probation and six months of community labour. The pair sparked controversy after they teamed up for a remix of Rihanna's track 'Birthday Cake' earlier this year, however, and their relationship has become the source of much speculation amidst rumours that they may be about torekindle their romance.

Last week (August 11), it was reported that Rihanna tells Oprah that Brown's attack hadbeen "embarrassing" and "humiliating" during the interview, but also said that she "felt protective" of him following the incident and described it as a "mistake".

Now, in the latest clip to surface, she says of her memories of Brown:

I'm reminded of a lot of good things. A lot of good memories. The slightest things… hotel rooms, tour venues, any little thing. Music, songs. I do miss him at times.

Previously, Rihanna has defended her decision to work with Brown again by insisting she didn't think their collab... a problem, and also claimed that her personal relationship with the singer is a private matter. Her association with Brown has drawn criticism from some quarters, however – in recent months, both her former church pastor anddomestic violence experts have warned the singer not to become too close to her former flame.

We knew this already...

[img:$uid]http://i.minus.com/ibdEKVQ2buYt6S.gif[/img:$uid]

musicjunky318 said:

We knew this already...

[img:$uid]http://i.minus.com/ibdEKVQ2buYt6S.gif[/img:$uid]

great post!

[Edited 8/19/12 23:23pm]

If she loves Breezy that much then go back to him and enjoy your beatings. Silly cow.

I'd just like to point out that he strangled her until she passed out.

It's one thing to say "beat", or "abuse", but that man strangled her to unconsciousness.

And she's wrong about perspective; it's easier to see from far away, and harder to see from up close.

He's an asshole.

Mintchip said:

I'd just like to point out that he strangled her until she passed out.

It's one thing to say "beat", or "abuse", but that man strangled her to unconsciousness.

And she's wrong about perspective; it's easier to see from far away, and harder to see from up close.

He's an asshole.

he also smashed her head into a car window, threatened her life, and repeatedly punched and bit her.

i mean, if we're getting specific.

I knew she has sad father issues, and she admitted it right during the interview.

That's because he is a monster.

dJJ said:

nursev said:

obviously she still loves him

I think love gets mixed up with obsession.

She seems obsessed, and that is quite different than love.

She said she still loves him

smoothcriminal12 said:

Mintchip said:

I'd just like to point out that he strangled her until she passed out.

It's one thing to say "beat", or "abuse", but that man strangled her to unconsciousness.

And she's wrong about perspective; it's easier to see from far away, and harder to see from up close.

He's an asshole.

First and foremost, Rihanna is an AWESOME young woman with a generous spirit and loving family and friends.

Abuse is absolutely NOT acceptable and should NEVER be tolerated. I don't think she should re-kindle her romantic relationship with Chris however, they both need to establish a healthy friendship. There is/was much love there. I agree with her that you must forgive people that hurt you because those bottled up feelings with only hurt YOU. Rihanna shows great maturity and even with her young age is following a good path. JUST MY OPINION.

She clearly has been able to sort and analyze her feelings. It's wonderful, she's human!

Her grandmother left her with great advise that some never get to hear. I'm sure Chris' new girlfriend feels insecure with Rihanna hot on the tails of their breakup.

Hopefully, soon that man that values her worth and provides her with all she needs to stay grounded will come and the memories of Chris will be just that....memories.

KEEP ROCKIN' RIHANNA!!

Ill Doctorine sums it all up pretty nice.

http://www.illdoctrine.com/2011/03/a_history_lesson_for_chris_bro.html

will someone explain to me how to embed videos?

kimberly1 said:

HAPPYPERSON said:

Quote from her interview with Oprah, airing August 19

on own network
-
❝ I lost my best friend… everything I knew switched — switched in a night. And I couldn’t control that. It’s not easy to interpret on camera, not with the world watching. I felt like the only person they hate right now is him. It was a weird, confusing space to be in, because as angry as I was — as angry and hurt and betrayed — I just felt like he made that mistake because he needed help, and who’s going to help him? Nobody’s going to say he needs help, everybody’s going to say he’s a monster, without looking at the source. And I was more concerned about him.

__________________

I ain't no pop-psychologist but you gotta wonder about the self esteem of a girl (Rihanna

doesn't strike me as a "woman") who feels more concerned about the dude who knotted

her face up as opposed to abstracting herself from that same dude's life and circle of

friends.

It also makes you wonder about what my friends and I call the "soul-tie*" that happens

during sex; particularly, when that soul-tie is between two virgins having sex with each

other for the first time.

soul-tie - a phrase describing the emotional, psychological, and spiritual union between

two or more people who are emotionally, psychologically and spiritually inclined and

metaphysically attracted to each other usually as the result of sexual intercourse.

EDIT: my post makes it seem like Rihanna's beat down was solely her fault and I

do not believe this to be the case.

EDIT #2: had to fix that definition to include the clarification "usually."

EDIT #3: for all you pop-tart starlets out there, go to school and learn how to read;

Rihanna ain't the most articulate person in the world.

EDIT #$4:...neither is Chris Brown.

[Edited 8/21/12 18:41pm]

[Edited 8/21/12 18:43pm]

[Edited 8/21/12 18:45pm]

[Edited 8/21/12 18:45pm]