Definitely possible. Maybe Prince told him, "I only took 2 of those "percocets." I have no idea why I ODed like that." And Dr. S conducted a battery of tests just to be safe. I guess it's also possible Prince was tested in Moline as well (if he had consented).

benni said:

disch said:

- The AP article that mentioned tests didn't specify the date of the test(s), but it did imply that they were by Dr S: "The official did not elaborate on those tests. But at least one doctor, Michael Todd Schulenberg, saw Prince on April 7 and again on April 20, the day before he died. According to a search warrant, he told a detective he had ordered tests for Prince and prescribed medications."

-

- Good point about fentanyl test. I don't know why Dr S would have run a test specifically for that drug. Perhaps the blood or urine collected prior to his death was tested again post-mortem when they knew that he died of fentanyl? I admit that does seem like a stretch based on how the article was worded ("tests conducted prior to his death")

The only reason I could think for them to test for Fentanyl prior to his death, would be if they knew he obtained those pills illiciitly. If he admitted to Dr. S that he had ordered them online, or got them elsewhere, and Dr. S would know he didn't prescribe them, then Dr. S may have wanted to test Prince for Fentanyl to verify that he was safe with the drugs he was taking. Keep in mind that there were reports prior to Prince's passing of individuals dying from Fentanyl overdoses from purchasing opoids illicitly. If they knew that Prince had purchased them in the same manner, they may have ordered the Fentanyl test, just to be on the safe side and make sure that there was no Fentanyl in his system, indicating that the opoids he was taking were not cut with the Fentanyl.

If Doc S had given Prince that information (that no Fentanyl was found in his system), it is possible that Prince believed the pills he was taking was safe to take and he took his normal dosage, or slightly higher, thinking that he was safe in doing so.

[Edited 4/2/18 21:36pm]

benni said:

ThatWhiteDude said:

To the red: This reminds of a story my mother told me about a guy she knew. He planned his suicide for ten years and nobody would've thought that this guy is planning to end it all. BUT one day, he did something he never did: He beat up his girlfriend, out of the effing blue. You know why? He wanted her to hate him (so she won't miss him). This could've been the sign nobody saw, but he went missing after that, he made sure nobody can ask him about it. He was found dead two days later.

It's so sad when someone thinks their only option is suicide. I have told individuals before that suicide is an option, because it is the only option individuals can see at that time, but I remind them that it is a permanent option to a temporary problem and if we review the problem, we may be able to discover another option.

Many people feel uncomfortable asking someone they know is depressed whether they are considering (or thinking about) suicide. They think that if they are not thinking about it, if they mention it, that it will put ideas into that person's head. There is no research that has ever shown this happens. In fact, many people, when asked directly are releived because they want to talk about. Frequently, people that talk about suicide as an option, are crying out for help. They want someone to ask them, to talk with them, to let them know they are valued and that there is hope. When we don't ask, that person begins to think that they are not worthy and will shut people out further.

i actually think the thought/desire to die is common, very common. we aren't socialized to accept it though, in other societies it isn't seen the same, there is honor in suicide in japanese society. in america we have a lot of stigma attached to it and a lot of secrecy. I mentioned a couple pages back that black panther,richard aoki, died and it took two years for his people to tell everyone he committed suicide. The man who made the original Frankenstein also committed suicide, due to chronic pain and it didn't come out for 20 years. Then you have people i've read about like Walter Payton who used the threat of suicide to manipulate his friends as in "i have a gun to my temple and if you don't get over here now i'm gonna do it". people aren't nice and neat like we want them to be.

precioux said:

PennyPurple said:

He had 100 pills like that. What is the need for 100 kill pills?

Pretty simple answer: if there was only 1 “kill pill” found with the atrocious amounts of Fentanyl that was found in each (as per AP article stating at least 2 dozen pills were tested)...then per ME guidelines, I’m fairly certain that this would have had to be ruled a suicide.

i had considered that too, and my thoughts are, a guy who was as manipulative of his image as prince was could easily make it look like an accident. Either way, I really think he didn't want to be here anymore, we could analyze things forever but at some point that's what it comes down to. I remember my ma returning from open heart surgery, i heard the sound of her lighting a cigarrette in her room, i went out to look, didn't say anything, she looked at me, she knew what i was thinking. after a certain point there is not point. In her case, she fell and hit her head and died the next day, i know what happened, i know who's fault it was and even though the hospital she was at tried to deflect any fault by fucking lying to me, saying she didn't fall on hospital property, because they were worried about a lawsuit, i couldn't place any blame on them, that would be silly.

crazy how something that deady doesn't even stay in the system as long as any other drug. well, that makes it appear that the coroners statement is meaningless then, barring the hair analysis, because they couldn't know about long term use. we shouldn't have to figure shit like that out but they like being obtuse.

benni said:

ISaidLifeIsJustAGame said:

The ME never said there was no previous Fentanyl in Prince's system.

I don't know where that idea came from. However, I remember hearing it from somewhere too.

The only other thing is the idea that the Fentanyl would absorb into his liver after death. The body organs stop functioning and after death drugs would not absorb into the liver or other organs. In order for it to absorb into the liver, the body organs must be functioning.

I did find this on absorption rates (though it doesn't give a particular time frame):

First, fentanyl is very quickly metabolized by the liver, and this metabolization is because of three metabolites which are norfentanyl, hydroxfentanyl, and hydroxynorfentanyl.

When someone takes fentanyl, it’s estimated that around 85% of a dose would be excreted via the urine in a three to four day period, at least when it’s taken intravenously. When fentanyl is given transdermally or in oral doses, it can be detected in the urine for around 24 hours.

Also pertinent when discussing where is fentanyl metabolized and where is fentanyl absorbed is looking how long it stays in your system.

The half-life of fentanyl in terms of elimination is around two to four hours, so it would take anywhere from 11 to 22 hours to leave the system of the user in most cases when taken intravenously. When it’s taken as a patch or lozenge, it’s half life is around seven hours and it could take 36 hours to leave the system of the user completely.

When fentanyl is metabolized it leaves behind metabolites, which linger in the system of the user longer.

How Long Does Fentanyl Stay in Your System?

To determine how long fentanyl will stay in your system after you stop taking it, it’s important to consider its elimination half-life. Elimination half-life refers to how long it takes for half of a single dose of a drug to leave the body.

The elimination half-life of fentanyl is subject to some variation based on the method by which it’s administered. When taken intravenously, fentanyl has an elimination half-life of approximately 2 to 4 hours in adults, meaning it takes approximately 11 to 22 hours to leave your system.

If you use the patch or lozenge, fentanyl exhibits a half-life of approximately seven hours, and it will take around 36 hours for the drug to completely leave your system after you stop using.
As fentanyl breaks down in your system, it leaves behind traces called metabolites. These metabolites stay in your system longer, meaning that a thorough drug test could detect fentanyl in your system even several days after you stop taking it.

How Long Does Fentanyl Stay in Your Urine?

While often undetected by standard drug tests, an advanced urine drug test can be used to identify fentanyl. In this case, fentanyl can be recognized in urine for eight to 24 hours, depending on a variety of factors including age, weight and more. While fentanyl may not be recognized by urine tests after a full day, it can still be detected by other methods and continue to wreak havoc on the body after improper use.

How Long Does Fentanyl Stay in Your Hair?

Hair is one of the most telling features of a person’s health. Because of its relative slow growth process, it is often one of the most accurate timelines of health history. For this reason, hair drug testing can be one of the most effective and telling signs of long-term drug use. Fentanyl can be detected in hair for up to 90 days, about three months.

How Long Does Fentanyl Stay in Your Saliva?

Saliva can be used for a variety of tests — from DNA to drug testing, doctors may take a saliva swab or spittle sample to learn more about a patient. Saliva drug tests are are often more accurate than urine or blood tests as they can detect fentanyl for one to three days after use.

How Long Does Fentanyl Stay in Your Blood?

Blood testing is one of the least effective methods of detecting drug use over a long period of time. Fentanyl can only be recognized in the bloodstream for up to 12 hours. Although it typically isn’t detectable in the blood for longer than half a day, the negative side effects of long-term opioid use manifest themselves in a variety of ways, including life-threatening addiction and potential overdose.

PeteSilas said:

someone had a real interesting story about someone they knew on here, a software developer who's career was just taking off, made all kinds of plans, showed no signs and still killed himself. things don't always make sense. either way, him having a will, he should have had that in any case, maybe he had his own reasons for not having it.

Terminally ill people also frequently will continue on with their plans too, I mean what else are they supposed to do, watch the clock? They won't necessarily be attending to things that others think they should be doing. That's the thing, people can follow a known pattern of behavior and then there are others who will do what they think they should do, so there doesn't seem to be rhyme nor reason to their actions. I've always thought not having a will was intentional on his part, simply because it seemed like the choice of someone who wasn't overly obsessed with money. He did take care of the things most important to him it seems. As we all know, Prince was very good at forging his own direction no matter what others thought

precioux said:

PennyPurple said:

He had 100 pills like that. What is the need for 100 kill pills?

Pretty simple answer: if there was only 1 “kill pill” found with the atrocious amounts of Fentanyl that was found in each (as per AP article stating at least 2 dozen pills were tested)...then per ME guidelines, I’m fairly certain that this would have had to be ruled a suicide.

Hi Precioux I'm so glad to see you again, it's been awhile.

Yes, I could see that if there was only 1 kill pill.

Mumio said:

Terminally ill people also frequently will continue on with their plans too, I mean what else are they supposed to do, watch the clock? They won't necessarily be attending to things that others think they should be doing. That's the thing, people can follow a known pattern of behavior and then there are others who will do what they think they should do, so there doesn't seem to be rhyme nor reason to their actions. I've always thought not having a will was intentional on his part, simply because it seemed like the choice of someone who wasn't overly obsessed with money. He did take care of the things most important to him it seems. As we all know, Prince was very good at forging his own direction no matter what others thought

Terminally ill folks usually take care of things when they know they are dying like having a Will drawn up, funeral plans, who will take care of their pets, and/or guardianship of children etc.

Thanks disch for reproducing the articles.

no problem (I kept a file listing all the key articles/documents related to his passing, so it's pretty easy for me to track stuff down. Happy to share it anytime)

morningsong said:

Thanks disch for reproducing the articles.

PennyPurple said:

precioux said:

PennyPurple said: Pretty simple answer: if there was only 1 “kill pill” found with the atrocious amounts of Fentanyl that was found in each (as per AP article stating at least 2 dozen pills were tested)...then per ME guidelines, I’m fairly certain that this would have had to be ruled a suicide.

Hi Precioux I'm so glad to see you again, it's been awhile.

Yes, I could see that if there was only 1 kill pill.

...it has been awhile , good to see you too

PeteSilas said:

precioux said:

PennyPurple said: Pretty simple answer: if there was only 1 “kill pill” found with the atrocious amounts of Fentanyl that was found in each (as per AP article stating at least 2 dozen pills were tested)...then per ME guidelines, I’m fairly certain that this would have had to be ruled a suicide.

i had considered that too, and my thoughts are, a guy who was as manipulative of his image as prince was could easily make it look like an accident. Either way, I really think he didn't want to be here anymore, we could analyze things forever but at some point that's what it comes down to. I remember my ma returning from open heart surgery, i heard the sound of her lighting a cigarrette in her room, i went out to look, didn't say anything, she looked at me, she knew what i was thinking. after a certain point there is not point. In her case, she fell and hit her head and died the next day, i know what happened, i know who's fault it was and even though the hospital she was at tried to deflect any fault by fucking lying to me, saying she didn't fall on hospital property, because they were worried about a lawsuit, i couldn't place any blame on them, that would be silly.

Pete,

sorry about your mom

precioux said:

PeteSilas said:

i had considered that too, and my thoughts are, a guy who was as manipulative of his image as prince was could easily make it look like an accident. Either way, I really think he didn't want to be here anymore, we could analyze things forever but at some point that's what it comes down to. I remember my ma returning from open heart surgery, i heard the sound of her lighting a cigarrette in her room, i went out to look, didn't say anything, she looked at me, she knew what i was thinking. after a certain point there is not point. In her case, she fell and hit her head and died the next day, i know what happened, i know who's fault it was and even though the hospital she was at tried to deflect any fault by fucking lying to me, saying she didn't fall on hospital property, because they were worried about a lawsuit, i couldn't place any blame on them, that would be silly.

Pete,

sorry about your mom

co-sign

disch said:

Sorry, I don't "trust and believe" without facts and sources (reputable ones). You declaring it on this message board is not a fact and source. If you want to link to or name a source for your theory, have at it. Because I recall nothing about him having "40 million in cash." The January 2017 inventory submitted to the court listed $110k in personal bank accounts and about $12MM total in his business' accounts. The bulk of his estate was in the value of his musical property, and in his real estate holdings (and oh yeah, $840k in gold bars).

voph said:

disch said: Pay Attention. It was reported over 40 million dollars in cash was found in the many homes and businesses he had. Do you believe the investigators found the true amount. I don’t. Trust and believe cash money was stolen in the millions.

[Edited 4/1/18 19:57pm]

Disch:

I don't know if anyone sent a link to you but I remember reading this MSN article that mentions $40,000,000. The link is below.

1. https://www.msn.com/en-gb/entertainment/celebrity/prince-had-over...

Someone did, thanks. We were discussing how it doesn't support voph's theory that cash was stolen from the estate. There's nothing about that inventory that points to stolen cash.

leec1 said:

disch said:

Sorry, I don't "trust and believe" without facts and sources (reputable ones). You declaring it on this message board is not a fact and source. If you want to link to or name a source for your theory, have at it. Because I recall nothing about him having "40 million in cash." The January 2017 inventory submitted to the court listed $110k in personal bank accounts and about $12MM total in his business' accounts. The bulk of his estate was in the value of his musical property, and in his real estate holdings (and oh yeah, $840k in gold bars).

[Edited 4/1/18 19:57pm]

Disch:

I don't know if anyone sent a link to you but I remember reading this MSN article that mentions $40,000,000. The link is below.

1. https://www.msn.com/en-gb/entertainment/celebrity/prince-had-over...

luv4u said:

Terminally ill folks usually take care of things when they know they are dying like having a Will drawn up, funeral plans, who will take care of their pets, and/or guardianship of children etc.

Usually . What they will do also depends upon when the terminal diagnosis comes up. For instance, a close relative was deemed terminal, yet lived for almost an additional two years. Most preps you note above were taken care of even before the dx, all that was left was to determine who would take care of the dog. But she continued on with making plans for short weekend trips, outings on other days (to see movies, go shopping, visiting with friends and relatives, etc). All I meant to say is that many people don't stop living their lives even with a terminal illness.

In Prince's case I think the hang-up is around the theory that he was both planning to end his own life on a certain date, while also appearing to plan for a life beyond that date (i.e., announcing and starting to write his memoir, etc.). Not so much around the idea that people with terminal illness generally don't try to get the most out of their remaining time.

Mumio said:

luv4u said:

Terminally ill folks usually take care of things when they know they are dying like having a Will drawn up, funeral plans, who will take care of their pets, and/or guardianship of children etc.

Usually . What they will do also depends upon when the terminal diagnosis comes up. For instance, a close relative was deemed terminal, yet lived for almost an additional two years. Most preps you note above were taken care of even before the dx, all that was left was to determine who would take care of the dog. But she continued on with making plans for short weekend trips, outings on other days (to see movies, go shopping, visiting with friends and relatives, etc). All I meant to say is that many people don't stop living their lives even with a terminal illness.

I still say prince was checking off a bucket list

All girl rawk band
13 horn band at montreaux
Appearing on a sitcom
Piano and mic tour
Writing a memoir
Even an alleged revolution reunion
Gettinag all his music online at once with tidal
Turning paisley park into a museum


Sounds like a bucket list to me

I dunno, most of those things just sound like his normal career. He was always trying new and different things with music, performance, business, internet, what have you.

TrevorAyer said:

I still say prince was checking off a bucket list All girl rawk band 13 horn band at montreaux Appearing on a sitcom Piano and mic tour Writing a memoir Even an alleged revolution reunion Gettinag all his music online at once with tidal Turning paisley park into a museum Sounds like a bucket list to me

disch said:

In Prince's case I think the hang-up is around the theory that he was both planning to end his own life on a certain date, while also appearing to plan for a life beyond that date (i.e., announcing and starting to write his memoir, etc.). Not so much around the idea that people with terminal illness generally don't try to get the most out of their remaining time.

Oh? I didn't realize it was about the date thing.

That was my interpretation of what people were discussing, yes. They they were trying to understand the suicide theory: that Prince planned to end his life (whether or not it was on one specific date such as April 21 or within a date range or whatever) AND simultanously planned for life well after that time period. Your example sounded like something different: someone who got a terminal diagnosis and lived her life to the fullest for however long nature ran its course.

Mumio said:

disch said:

In Prince's case I think the hang-up is around the theory that he was both planning to end his own life on a certain date, while also appearing to plan for a life beyond that date (i.e., announcing and starting to write his memoir, etc.). Not so much around the idea that people with terminal illness generally don't try to get the most out of their remaining time.

Oh? I didn't realize it was about the date thing.

[Edited 4/3/18 12:17pm]

TrevorAyer said:

I would admit the P&M tour was a major question mark for me from the very beginning especially since it was so minimalistic, no finished album and he seemed to be going to places he hadn't been in a while. Adding everything else feels more like someone preparing to retire out of the public eye. And none of those things with the exception of the tv show got finished. And the Tidal thing is a big question mark because all that did not become available until after he passed.

Bodhitheblackdog said:

precioux said:

Pete,

sorry about your mom

co-sign

thanks, but I guess my point of sharing that was, I had no issues with wondering what happened in her case. I didn't wonder, I knew and i had that level of peace with it even if I wasn't completely at peace with it, and i wasn't. With Prince, still wondering "what the fuck happened?". So many things just don't fit.

Mumio said:

luv4u said:

Terminally ill folks usually take care of things when they know they are dying like having a Will drawn up, funeral plans, who will take care of their pets, and/or guardianship of children etc.

Usually . What they will do also depends upon when the terminal diagnosis comes up. For instance, a close relative was deemed terminal, yet lived for almost an additional two years. Most preps you note above were taken care of even before the dx, all that was left was to determine who would take care of the dog. But she continued on with making plans for short weekend trips, outings on other days (to see movies, go shopping, visiting with friends and relatives, etc). All I meant to say is that many people don't stop living their lives even with a terminal illness.

We all know it's accidental OD on fentanyl and/or other drugs that may have been in his system, whatever the coroner found.

ISaidLifeIsJustAGame said:

cloveringold85 said:

.

The ME said that there was no previous Fentanyl in Prince's system.

.

It was stated that Prince had been dead for about 6-hours, so I assume that was enough time for Fentanyl to absorb into his Liver, but I was just trying to find out exactly how long that would take??

.

Someone here who works in healthcare and or addiction could probably shed some more light on this.

The ME never said there was no previous Fentanyl in Prince's system.

.

I stand corrected. I read an article somewhere after the emergency landing in Moline that stated there was no evidence that Prince had Fentanyl in his system at that time.

ThatWhiteDude said:

benni said:

It's so sad when someone thinks their only option is suicide. I have told individuals before that suicide is an option, because it is the only option individuals can see at that time, but I remind them that it is a permanent option to a temporary problem and if we review the problem, we may be able to discover another option.

Many people feel uncomfortable asking someone they know is depressed whether they are considering (or thinking about) suicide. They think that if they are not thinking about it, if they mention it, that it will put ideas into that person's head. There is no research that has ever shown this happens. In fact, many people, when asked directly are releived because they want to talk about. Frequently, people that talk about suicide as an option, are crying out for help. They want someone to ask them, to talk with them, to let them know they are valued and that there is hope. When we don't ask, that person begins to think that they are not worthy and will shut people out further.

The only people that ever asked me if I considered suicide are my therapist and my sister. But I never did, I know I'm in a shitty place right now (dealing with the fact that I'm autistic, the fear of probably having cancer) but there was a time when it was better and I'm able to find a way back to that better times.

I agree with all you said, more people should talk to their loved ones. But as you said, some are just too afraid to do harm.

.

WhiteDude: Sorry to hear that. I sincerely wish you all the best. I get depressed too, and I'm not ashamed to say it. I lost my Mother and then my Dog, and my Husband lost several family members (Grandmother and Grandfather), all within 5-years. Depression is real, and there is help. My husbands Uncle comitted suicide 3-months after his father died from Cancer, and no one really saw it coming. One day, he pulled-up the driveway, then drove away, and they all thought it was rather strange -- they did not find him until a couple of days later, when he did not show up for work. He could not live with the fact his Brother was gone. He promised to take care of the family, and he didn't. He left his toddler, daughter behind too, very sad.

disch said:

That history info came not from the ME (she's never said anything beyond what's in the autopsy summary) but from this 8/22/16 AP article: "Tests on Prince prior to his death did not show fentanyl in his system, which means he wasn’t a long-time abuser of that drug, but likely took the fatal dose sometime in the 24 hours before he died, the official [close to the investigation] said."

-

We've discussed this statement quite a bit, but my point has always been that there's no one test that could be conducted that can tell someone exactly how long a person has taken fentanyl (or some other opioid). It would detect fentanyl in the body -- and as benni noted, fentanyl only stays in the body for a few days.

benni said:

I don't know where that idea came from. However, I remember hearing it from somewhere too.

[Edited 4/2/18 19:50pm]

.

Thanks, Disch. I knew I read it somewhere.

disch said:

- The AP article that mentioned tests didn't specify the date of the test(s), but it did imply that they were by Dr S: "The official did not elaborate on those tests. But at least one doctor, Michael Todd Schulenberg, saw Prince on April 7 and again on April 20, the day before he died. According to a search warrant, he told a detective he had ordered tests for Prince and prescribed medications."

-

- Good point about fentanyl test. I don't know why Dr S would have run a test specifically for that drug. Perhaps the blood or urine collected prior to his death was tested again post-mortem when they knew that he died of fentanyl? I admit that does seem like a stretch based on how the article was worded ("tests conducted prior to his death")

-

I don't think it was legit percocet that he ODed on in Moline. The Percocet theory came from Kirk's alleged speculation to the hospital staff, not from the doctor. Per the warrant: "The Doctor who treated Prince documented Prince as suffereing from an opiate overdose, however, Prince refused treatment at the hospital. Johnson told hospital staff Prince may have taken Percocet." In another warrant, "one of the witnesses interviewed [said] Prince admitted to taking 1-2 "pain pills,"" not specifically Percocet. I personally think it was fentanyl-laced counterfeits, same as what killed him, perhaps made to look like Percocets. I don't think 2 of any legit opioid pills (assuming that it was indeed just 2) would trigger a near-fatal OD.

precioux said:

Thanks for the clarification, benni. Also, what tests were these? The ones from 4/20 that Dr S was bringing?? And isn’t there a specific test that has to be run for Fentanyl, being it doesn’t usually show up in the “run of the mill” opioid test? And if that is the case, how would they know to test for Fentanyl if the only opioid discussed prior to his death was “Percocet”, a completely different animal benni said:

[Edited 4/2/18 21:42pm]

.

Good points! You would think that the staff at Moline Trinity Hospital would know exactly what Prince took and what was in his system -- they had to have known. The events in Moline seem to be under lock and key. I think the 2 Narcan shots sent Prince into a downward spiral, and he should have been supervised, and he wasn't.

PeteSilas said:

benni said:

It's so sad when someone thinks their only option is suicide. I have told individuals before that suicide is an option, because it is the only option individuals can see at that time, but I remind them that it is a permanent option to a temporary problem and if we review the problem, we may be able to discover another option.

Many people feel uncomfortable asking someone they know is depressed whether they are considering (or thinking about) suicide. They think that if they are not thinking about it, if they mention it, that it will put ideas into that person's head. There is no research that has ever shown this happens. In fact, many people, when asked directly are releived because they want to talk about. Frequently, people that talk about suicide as an option, are crying out for help. They want someone to ask them, to talk with them, to let them know they are valued and that there is hope. When we don't ask, that person begins to think that they are not worthy and will shut people out further.

i actually think the thought/desire to die is common, very common. we aren't socialized to accept it though, in other societies it isn't seen the same, there is honor in suicide in japanese society. in america we have a lot of stigma attached to it and a lot of secrecy. I mentioned a couple pages back that black panther,richard aoki, died and it took two years for his people to tell everyone he committed suicide. The man who made the original Frankenstein also committed suicide, due to chronic pain and it didn't come out for 20 years. Then you have people i've read about like Walter Payton who used the threat of suicide to manipulate his friends as in "i have a gun to my temple and if you don't get over here now i'm gonna do it". people aren't nice and neat like we want them to be.

.

Very sad & very true.

.

The suicide rate among Asians is very high. There was a young Korean singer/performer who recently took his own life -- such a sad story. Kim Jonghyun, a South Korean singer-songwriter-producer and a member of long-running boy band SHINee -- he was only 27-years old. He just was not happy and did not want to live. He had fame, but it didn't matter.

cloveringold85 said:

ThatWhiteDude said:

The only people that ever asked me if I considered suicide are my therapist and my sister. But I never did, I know I'm in a shitty place right now (dealing with the fact that I'm autistic, the fear of probably having cancer) but there was a time when it was better and I'm able to find a way back to that better times.

I agree with all you said, more people should talk to their loved ones. But as you said, some are just too afraid to do harm.

.

WhiteDude: Sorry to hear that. I sincerely wish you all the best. I get depressed too, and I'm not ashamed to say it. I lost my Mother and then my Dog, and my Husband lost several family members (Grandmother and Grandfather), all within 5-years. Depression is real, and there is help. My husbands Uncle comitted suicide 3-months after his father died from Cancer, and no one really saw it coming. One day, he pulled-up the driveway, then drove away, and they all thought it was rather strange -- they did not find him until a couple of days later, when he did not show up for work. He could not live with the fact his Brother was gone. He promised to take care of the family, and he didn't. He left his toddler, daughter behind too, very sad.

Thank you Clover, I wish you all the best too. I'm sorry about what you and your husband had to go through this must be very hard to deal with.

ThatWhiteDude said:

cloveringold85 said:

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WhiteDude: Sorry to hear that. I sincerely wish you all the best. I get depressed too, and I'm not ashamed to say it. I lost my Mother and then my Dog, and my Husband lost several family members (Grandmother and Grandfather), all within 5-years. Depression is real, and there is help. My husbands Uncle comitted suicide 3-months after his father died from Cancer, and no one really saw it coming. One day, he pulled-up the driveway, then drove away, and they all thought it was rather strange -- they did not find him until a couple of days later, when he did not show up for work. He could not live with the fact his Brother was gone. He promised to take care of the family, and he didn't. He left his toddler, daughter behind too, very sad.

Thank you Clover, I wish you all the best too. I'm sorry about what you and your husband had to go through this must be very hard to deal with.

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Thank you!! I just take each day as it comes. I owe it to my Mother to move forward and try to live the life that she didn't get to.