On day, in his high school years, a downhearted Prince went 2 visit his good ol buddy Morris. "Say Morris, check this here" Prince said "I got this problem right...Everytime Me and my girl Denise hit our favorite position, it only lasts two minutes cuz I nut too soon, and that aint never funky... whatever should I do?!?!"

Morris thought about it for a second and went to his drawer.. "OK...When you feel like you are getting ready to blow it try firing this starter pistol...it'll startle you and you'll go back to square one". "Really?" Prince said excited. "Yayus!" said Morris .."Do extactly that and call me later" "Cool" Prince said, and he ran off to Denise's. Happy he could help his friend, Morris took a nap.

2 Hours later Morris gets a call from Prince..."Thanks alot" Prince said "What do you mean?..What happened?" Morris asked."I'll tell you what happened.." Prince answered, "Thanks 2 you, Denise just shit on my face, and now i'm half the man I'm half the man I used to be!...ain't that bout a bitch!"

Prince got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. 1 day, while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open.
When leaving the room, she said, "Mr. Nelson, ur barracks door is open."
He did not understand her remark but later on, he happened 2 look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided 2 have some fun with his secretary.
Calling her in, he asked, "By the way, Miss Jones, when u saw my barracks door open this morning, did u also notice a soldier standing at attention?"
The secretary, who was quite witty replied, "Why no sir, all I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."

Nastay.

jess555ja said:

u kno yo man mama



nice avatar

Prince gave Morris a bowl of soup and said “if you eat the whole thing I will give you $1,000.00. Morris replied “A $1,000.00???? - Jerome hold my hat.” Morris started eating soup and he kept eating and when he got to the bottom there was dead rat at the bottom of the bowl. Morris noticed the dead rat and threw up everything back in the bowl. Prince looked at him and said “yeah, that’s about as far as I got.”


Thank you, Thank you

Prince is dating 3 women and wants 2 decide which 2 marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches 2 c what she does with the money.
The first does a total make-over. She goes 2 a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for him. She tells him that she has done this 2 be more attractive 4 him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping 2 buy Prince gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos 4 his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save 4 their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
Prince thinks 4 a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then decides 2 marry the 1 with the largest breasts.
[Edited 10/15/07 3:55am]

One of the best jokes I've heard around the .org...


'Planet Earth is a good album'

FuNkeNsteiN said:

It is and it may even be great. It follows a few themes: energetic song, then ballad, more or less. Then the album also gives a few nods Prince's earlier songs (e.g. a single chord intro...), and gives a few nods to the styles of certain other artists.

There is a great joke Prince sings about btw on 'Vicky Waiting', which can be interpreted 2 (or maybe even more!) ways.

After just a short time of marriage, filled with constant arguments, Prince and Mani decided the only way 2 save their marriage was 2 try counseling. They had been at each other's throat 4 some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.

"What seems 2 be the problem?" Immediately, Prince held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, Mani began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.

After 5...10...15 minutes of listening 2 Mani, the counselor went over 2 her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately 4 several minutes, and sat her back down. Afterwards, she sat there speechless.

He looked over at Prince who was staring in disbelief at what had happened. The counselor spoke to him, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"

Prince scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here every Tuesdays and Thursdays."

Prince went out and bought a new pair of boots.

He got home and tried 2 get his old lady 2 notice them, but she didn't. So he went in the bedroom, took off all his clothes, and came out wearing only the new boots.

"Notice anything?", He said.

"All I can see is a limp dick". She replied.

"Yes, but look at what its pointing at, My new boots". He said.

"Huh" she replied, "Then u should have bought a new hat"!

christos7 said:

WTF!! I get it, I get it

Prince dies and goes 2 hell.

The Devil says 2 him "Hey Prince we've been waitin 4 u!".

Prince smiles and walks with the Devil and the Devil says "I gotta ask u a couple questions, do u like 2 smoke?" Prince answers "Occasionally." The Devil says "Good u'll like Mondays we smoke everything cigarettes, cigars, weed everything."

"Now do u like 2 drink?" Prince says "Of course I love 2 drink." The Devil replies "Great we drink everything on Tuesdays u will fit in great."

"Do you like 2 have sex?" Prince says "Hell ya sex is the best."
The Devil smiles and replies "We have sex with every type of woman u could think of on Wednesdays."

And the Devil finally says "Now, r u gay?" Prince frowns and answers "NO I'm not gay! And the Devil looks down and finishes "Ur gonna hate Thursdays."

Prince dies and goes 2 hell.

The Devil says 2 him "Hey Prince we've been waitin 4 u!".

Prince smiles and walks with the Devil and the Devil says "I gotta ask u a couple questions, do u like 2 smoke?" Prince answers "Occasionally." The Devil says "Good u'll like Mondays we smoke everything cigarettes, cigars, weed everything."

"Now do u like 2 drink?" Prince says "Of course I love 2 drink." The Devil replies "Great we drink everything on Tuesdays u will fit in great."

"Do you like 2 have sex?" Prince says "Hell ya sex is the best."
The Devil smiles and replies "We have sex with every type of woman u could think of on Wednesdays."

And the Devil finally says "Now, r u gay?" Prince frowns and answers "NO I'm not gay! And the Devil looks down and finishes "Ur gonna hate Thursdays."

Prince gave Morris a bowl of soup and said “if you eat the whole thing I will give you $1,000.00. Morris replied “A $1,000.00???? - Jerome hold my hat.” Morris started eating soup and he kept eating and when he got to the bottom there was dead rat at the bottom of the bowl. Morris noticed the dead rat and threw up everything back in the bowl. Prince looked at him and said “yeah, that’s about as far as I got.”


Thank you, Thank you

Prince went out and bought a new pair of boots.

He got home and tried 2 get his old lady 2 notice them, but she didn't. So he went in the bedroom, took off all his clothes, and came out wearing only the new boots.

"Notice anything?", He said.

"All I can see is a limp dick". She replied.

"Yes, but look at what its pointing at, My new boots". He said.

"Huh" she replied, "Then u should have bought a new hat"!

What's the difference between Prince and a puppy?

Eventually the puppy stops whining.

Go ahead and give me the brick! I posted this in another thread somewhere. This joke my dad has been telling me my whole life, over 20 years now! Every time I visit, he has to tell me this joke as if I have never heard it b4:

"Where did they find Micheal Jackson's other glove?"

"In Prince's pants of course!"