Prince is dating 3 women and wants 2 decide which 2 marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches 2 c what she does with the money.
The first does a total make-over. She goes 2 a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for him. She tells him that she has done this 2 be more attractive 4 him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping 2 buy Prince gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos 4 his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save 4 their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
Prince thinks 4 a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then decides 2 marry the 1 with the largest breasts.
[Edited 10/15/07 3:55am]

Ur momma is so stupid, she took an umbrella to go see Purple Rain.
hahaha


i know i know..... here comes the brick

Prince got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. 1 day, while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open.
When leaving the room, she said, "Mr. Nelson, ur barracks door is open."
He did not understand her remark but later on, he happened 2 look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided 2 have some fun with his secretary.
Calling her in, he asked, "By the way, Miss Jones, when u saw my barracks door open this morning, did u also notice a soldier standing at attention?"
The secretary, who was quite witty replied, "Why no sir, all I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."

Prince and Michael Jackson applied to God for a job. Prince arrived late for the interview, and Michael, who was already waiting, went in first. God told MJ to sit down and wrote a big 'M' on the blackboard.
God: What is this, Michael?
MJ: God, it's M. M for Mother.
God: Okay, you can go now.

As Michael was coming out, Prince had barely half-a-second to catch up with him.
Prince: Quickly, what did he ask, what did he ask?
MJ (whispering): M for Mother, mother.

Prince goes in. God has a good look at him, then decides the previous question would be too easy. So he writes a big 'W' on the blackboard instead.

God: Prince, what is this?
Prince has a good look, but doesn't reply. He looks at God with glazed eyes and stays silent.
God: Prince, what is this?
Prince: God, it looks like Michael's mother, but why are her legs up in the air?

Shhh747 said:

I like that one

What's the last thing an NPG band member says before they gets kicked out of the band?

"When do we get 2 play MY songs?"

What's the difference between Prince and a dildo?

Prince is a real dick.

Bricks please

Prince was asked 2 give a talk on "Sex".

When his turn came, he stood, walked 2 the podium, adjusted the microphone just so. He said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure . . ."

And he sat back down.

Prince is in a hotel lobby. He wants 2 ask the clerk a question. As he turns 2 go 2 the front desk, he accidentally bumps in2 a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes in2 her breast.
They are both quite startled. Prince turns 2 her and says, "Ma'am, if ur heart is as soft as ur breast, I know u'll 4give me."
She replies, "If ur penis is as hard as ur elbow, I'm in room 319."

Prince walks in2 an elevator and stands next 2 a beautiful woman.
After a few minutes he turns 2 her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."

Christaro said:

On day, in his high school years, a downhearted Prince went 2 visit his good ol buddy Morris. "Say Morris, check this here" Prince said "I got this problem right...Everytime Me and my girl Denise hit our favorite position, it only lasts two minutes cuz I nut too soon, and that aint never funky... whatever should I do?!?!"

Morris thought about it for a second and went to his drawer.. "OK...When you feel like you are getting ready to blow it try firing this starter pistol...it'll startle you and you'll go back to square one". "Really?" Prince said excited. "Yayus!" said Morris .."Do extactly that and call me later" "Cool" Prince said, and he ran off to Denise's. Happy he could help his friend, Morris took a nap.

2 Hours later Morris gets a call from Prince..."Thanks alot" Prince said "What do you mean?..What happened?" Morris asked."I'll tell you what happened.." Prince answered, "Thanks 2 you, Denise just shit on my face, and now i'm half the man I'm half the man I used to be!...ain't that bout a bitch!"

Prince is in a hotel lobby. He wants 2 ask the clerk a question. As he turns 2 go 2 the front desk, he accidentally bumps in2 a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes in2 her breast.
They are both quite startled. Prince turns 2 her and says, "Ma'am, if ur heart is as soft as ur breast, I know u'll 4give me."
She replies, "If ur penis is as hard as ur elbow, I'm in room 319."

christos7 said:

SirPsycho said:

That's funny all by itself!

On day, in his high school years, a downhearted Prince went 2 visit his good ol buddy Morris. "Say Morris, check this here" Prince said "I got this problem right...Everytime Me and my girl Denise hit our favorite position, it only lasts two minutes cuz I nut too soon, and that aint never funky... whatever should I do?!?!"

Morris thought about it for a second and went to his drawer.. "OK...When you feel like you are getting ready to blow it try firing this starter pistol...it'll startle you and you'll go back to square one". "Really?" Prince said excited. "Yayus!" said Morris .."Do extactly that and call me later" "Cool" Prince said, and he ran off to Denise's. Happy he could help his friend, Morris took a nap.

2 Hours later Morris gets a call from Prince..."Thanks alot" Prince said "What do you mean?..What happened?" Morris asked."I'll tell you what happened.." Prince answered, "Thanks 2 you, Denise just shit on my face, and now i'm half the man I'm half the man I used to be!...ain't that bout a bitch!"

SirPsycho said:

On day, in his high school years, a downhearted Prince went 2 visit his good ol buddy Morris. "Say Morris, check this here" Prince said "I got this problem right...Everytime Me and my girl Denise hit our favorite position, it only lasts two minutes cuz I nut too soon, and that aint never funky... whatever should I do?!?!"

Morris thought about it for a second and went to his drawer.. "OK...When you feel like you are getting ready to blow it try firing this starter pistol...it'll startle you and you'll go back to square one". "Really?" Prince said excited. "Yayus!" said Morris .."Do extactly that and call me later" "Cool" Prince said, and he ran off to Denise's. Happy he could help his friend, Morris took a nap.

2 Hours later Morris gets a call from Prince..."Thanks alot" Prince said "What do you mean?..What happened?" Morris asked."I'll tell you what happened.." Prince answered, "Thanks 2 you, Denise just shit on my face, and now i'm half the man I'm half the man I used to be!...ain't that bout a bitch!"

Prince gave Morris a bowl of soup and said “if you eat the whole thing I will give you $1,000.00. Morris replied “A $1,000.00???? - Jerome hold my hat.” Morris started eating soup and he kept eating and when he got to the bottom there was dead rat at the bottom of the bowl. Morris noticed the dead rat and threw up everything back in the bowl. Prince looked at him and said “yeah, that’s about as far as I got.”


Thank you, Thank you

ew

One of the best jokes I've heard around the .org...


'Planet Earth is a good album'