2 Crazy 4 Me


Dalton Ross on Prince's new gig: the Super Bowl! EW's editor-at-large wonders exactly what kind of show the Purple One will put on. Plus: more on The Sniper, and the best 5 TV shows of the year



SIGN O' THE TIMES What are the odds the score will be 31-21 when Prince takes the stage at halftime of Super Bowl XLI?

...you can bet I'll be watching, because it was just announced this week that the halftime musical act will be none other than... Prince! And all I can say is, have the folks at the NFL lost their minds?!? We are less than three years removed from the Janet Jackson-Justin Timberlake Nipplegate, and now the league — not to mention CBS, the same network responsible for the cheese nip — is signing up Prince to entertain an audience of approximately 1 billion people from more than 230 countries? When exactly did the National Football League get so damn funky?

Don't get me wrong. I love Prince. I saw him on the Purple Rain tour when I was a youngster and convinced myself I got a contact high from all the people smoking weed around me, even though I didn't really know what weed and contact highs were. I own not only a ridiculous number of Prince albums, but singles, boxed sets, B-sides, and bootlegs as well. But Prince is... well, how should I put this?... a tad unpredictable. This is a guy who threw a big middle finger to big business by changing his name to a freakin' hieroglyphic and writing ''Slave'' on his face. And in case you didn't notice, it doesn't get more big-business than the NFL. And whatever happened to the kinder, gentler halftime entertainment in the aftermath of the Jackson-Timberlake fiasco? I believe the answer is Paul McCartney. The former Beatle was the safe choice in 2005 for the halftime act, and he played a predictable, safe set that was almost as boring as watching the New England Patriots win another championship. (Sorry, Pats fans, but c'mon — share the wealth!) Even the league realized what a downer it was and tried to get all edgy the following year by signing up the Rolling Stones, whose hipness and danger were last spotted hanging out with the Hells Angels at Altamont.

So how do we get from there to Prince, a singer who once promised to — and this is where it's about to get a little blue, ladies and gentlemen, so if you are easily offended by song lyrics, I beg you to go elsewhere on the site — ''f--- the taste out of your mouth''? (Interesting side note: On the way to that Purple Rain show, we were listening and singing along to ''Let's Pretend We're Married'' in the car, and I thoroughly embarrassed myself by assuming the lyrics to be ''I wanna f--- the toast out of your mouth,'' which, truth be told, I kinda like more.) Of course, this lyric was no isolated incident. Might I direct your attention to Exhibit A: ''Erotic City.'' You know what, I don't even need to reprint the lyrics here. Suffice it to say Prince and Apollonia are talking about doing things to each other which I'm pretty sure CBS doesn't want to broadcast on national television. And then there is ''Darling Nikki,'' in which Prince talks about a woman who spends a little quality time with herself while perusing the pages of a certain periodical. And then there is ''SMF'' — the first two letters of which stand for sexy and mother. I'll let you figure out what the third is short for. And then there is ''Come,'' which climaxes, if you will, with a woman simulating an orgasm. At least I hope she is simulating. With Prince, you never really know.

I could go on and on. The basically naked pull-out poster of Prince in the shower that came as an insert on Controversy. The promise to perform ''23 positions in a one-night stand'' on ''Gett Off.'' (As anyone who's ever attended a Prince show will tell you, the man does have stamina.) The infamous Black Album, which was so dark and twisted that he actually declined to release it (opting to put out Lovesexy instead, which featured — you guessed it — a picture of him absolutely naked on the cover). Of course, my favorite Prince moment of all was when he performed on the MTV Video Music Awards in a pair of buttless pants. (And how do two Prince ass cheeks stand up against one Janet nipple, anyway? Sort of a draw, I think.)

Of course, I feign shock over the league's decision to sign up the Purple One, but having such an unpredictable presence as the musical act is actually pretty exciting. Truthfully, I don't expect him to bust out tunes like ''Dirty Mind' or ''Sexuality,'' especially considering his new kinder, gentler image since becoming a Jehovah's Witness. But you know what? I'll have the toast ready. Just in case.

*

Except for his miscredit of Apples in Erotic City this made me laugh and laugh. Fuck the toast outta yo mouth! LOL
Heck, what am I laughing at... I swear Controversy says "pat ur pussy"

Great article!

Link to article

http://www.ew.com/ew/arti...0_,00.html

Who the hell likes "fuck the toast outta ya mouth" better ?

Very imformative thank you

Very interesting.

SOunds like this guy knows nothing of the Newer "Spirituality" prince.