It never ceases to amaze me how some women can see from miles away that a man is no good but she starts dating him. Eventually, the guy gets worse and the woman marries him. He turns into total asshole and she wants kids with him.

I'm generalizing here just to make a point BUT why do some women stay with loser guys? Do guys expect women to stay with them, even if they are a loser? I'm American, so this just might be a U.S. problem But seriously, am I missing something here?

I think you can answer your own question: some of the men you have posted about have been less than deisrable but you wanted them anyway. Why?

The reason I heard (co-workers or friends in this situation) was starting over is scarier or not worth it to those women.

I haven't heard about them wanting kids with someone new who is being an asshole.. usually they already have the kids together, or he has been acting as a guardian to the pre-existing family.

Or there is something else valuable holding them together (assets) and they only see the problem as a temporary one, or something they are committed to working/loving through.

yes.. they should only chase after good men... doctors... lawyers... ministers etc etc

MoBettaBliss said:

yes.. they should only chase after good men... doctors... lawyers... ministers etc etc

GURL - you need to watch Think Like A Man, 1 and 2!

MoBettaBliss said:

yes.. they should only chase after good men... doctors... lawyers... ministers etc etc

.

[Edited 7/2/14 17:40pm]

because sadly the abusive bad boy has been popularized. marketed and sold as top shelf goods

It's the same reason why some men stay with "bad" women.

Because bad boys ("bad" men) are the hardest working men in the the bedroom, hence why Whitney used to be married to Bobby and why Rihanna might still be in love/lust with Chris.

Nice guys do finish last

Cinny said:

MoBettaBliss said:

yes.. they should only chase after good men... doctors... lawyers... ministers etc etc

GURL - you need to watch Think Like A Man, 1 and 2!

No offense to any lawyers but most are scumbags

If you really sit back and observe a couple, you will see that Crazy attracts Crazy...Now-a-days most people date & Marry people that are just like them...That "opposites attract theory" still rings true but based on what I see in 2014, "Crazy attracts Crazy"...

Chancellor said:

Maybe some are inclined* to take* abuse.


*for lack of a better word.

[Edited 7/3/14 3:47am]

HuMpThAnG said:

Nice guys do finish last

THAT^ too.

missfee said:

It's the same reason why some men stay with "bad" women.

Because they are hot?

This is no mystery. It's simply about lack of confidence and esteem. Too many women have the "well, this is as good as it will get for me, so better not lose it all". Sure, they also think they might be the one that changes them...but it's really about self esteem.

Also, nice guys do not finish last. That's a total load.

JustErin said:

This is no mystery. It's simply about lack of confidence and esteem. Too many women have the "well, this is as good as it will get for me, so better not lose it all". Sure, they also think they might be the one that changes them...but it's really about self esteem.

Also, nice guys do not finish last. That's a total load.

JustErin said:

This is no mystery. It's simply about lack of confidence and esteem. Too many women have the "well, this is as good as it will get for me, so better not lose it all". Sure, they also think they might be the one that changes them...but it's really about self esteem.

Also, nice guys do not finish last. That's a total load.

That's true too.

Some people would rather do anything than be alone. To be alone implies to face oneself. One's agonies, one's pain, one's fears, one's depressions, one's anxieties. Many people would rather be in an addictive toxic relationship and hide behind that then to take responsibility for themselves and be alone.

ThisOne said:

Chancellor said:

If you really sit back and observe a couple, you will see that Crazy attracts Crazy...Now-a-days most people date & Marry people that are just like them...That "opposites attract theory" still rings true but based on what I see in 2014, "Crazy attracts Crazy"...

What if they appear a certain way but after marriage they start changing and as the years pass they just get worse They start to reveal their 'other side' and it's not pretty and one realises everything b4 was just fake arse act

I've heard it said more than once that you never know who you get until after you marry them! So, for all the chicks that have a bad boy way before they walk down the aisle, they have plenty of chances to bail but I guess they don't. It also doesn't help that the media glorifies "ride or die" chicks as well (re: Tiny, T.I.'s wife)

TonyVanDam said:

Because bad boys ("bad" men) are the hardest working men in the the bedroom, hence why Whitney used to be married to Bobby and why Rihanna might still be in love/lust with Chris.

.

Nailed it! Its a give and take. If he gives it good its easier to take the bullshit.

A lot if people are very shallow. They need the drama of a bad man because they are too mediocre to generate any excitement of their own.

jeidee said:

TonyVanDam said:

Because bad boys ("bad" men) are the hardest working men in the the bedroom, hence why Whitney used to be married to Bobby and why Rihanna might still be in love/lust with Chris.

.

Nailed it! Its a give and take. If he gives it good its easier to take the bullshit.

There's also the money factor. I guess this is even worse because of the bad economy (for everyday folks) But, I think celebs do it to stay relevant and in the tabloids.

ThisOne said:

Chancellor said:

If you really sit back and observe a couple, you will see that Crazy attracts Crazy...Now-a-days most people date & Marry people that are just like them...That "opposites attract theory" still rings true but based on what I see in 2014, "Crazy attracts Crazy"...

What if they appear a certain way but after marriage they start changing and as the years pass they just get worse They start to reveal their 'other side' and it's not pretty and one realises everything b4 was just fake arse act

What was going on in the dating relationship prior to marriage was happening and does carry over into the marriage. Some folks see things they don't like but refuse to take their rose coloured glasses off, coz the woman or man were already like that to begin with. What you see is what you get.

Some folks leave the mess and others stay because they "love" the person, and/or for various other reasons. Abuse in any form is not love, it is hate..... power and control. Those that choose to stay in it do not realize that there are supports out there that can help you start a new life ...... abuse comes in many forms. You cannot change the person. A leopards spots never change. They are what they are.

I was a domestic violence survivor. I left dimwit yearssss ago and took my 2 toddlers (who were being abused by him) and an unborn child (he so desperately wanted aborted), and never once went back. I filed my police report with the domestic violence unit at the police station after dimwit left for work which seems like hoursssss before he left the house.



If you go back you will just be going back to what you left. It will not get better. You may even get killed by the abuser.

What I can't stand is "That nigga ain't shit!!" Yeah, but you had a baby to that ain't shit nigga. It took you a whole 9 months, plus the age of the baby to realize that? Foresight is clearly lacking.