I've heard from a few people that I know, who are in their late 30's or early 40's and on the "dating scene" that when they get to know someone, they are quizzed as to why they never married. As if it's something to be wary of.

How do you feel about this?

Do you agree or disagree with this being some sort of "red flag"?

What about someone who just came out of a 10+ year relationship (never married)? Any better/worse?

Discuss!

Well, you do have the tendency to wonder why but I have a cousin who is 45 and basically is a "confirmed bachelor" (and no, he's not gay) but he travels CONSTANTLY and never has time to devote to a relationship, which is a shame because he's so handsome and so so sweet that some girl is missing out. Unfortunately he's married to his job.

Man, I'd love to meet a dude around my age that has never been married or does not have kids.

That's no red flag, that's a green flag to me.

To me it means he didn't rush into anything, or was smart about living his life for him while he was young - which we should all do.

Plus, he doesn't bring baby-mamma, ex wife drama into the picture.

JustErin said:

Man, I'd love to meet a dude around my age that has never been married or does not have kids.

That's no red flag, that's a green flag to me.

To me it means he didn't rush into anything, or was smart about living his life for him while he was young - which we should all do.

Plus, he doesn't bring baby-mamma, ex wife drama into the picture.

My friend is 37 and never "truly" married (he was married for like 3 months when he was 19 - long story)...and he says that he has to LIE about his age when meeting younger women (in their late 20's or ealry 30's) because he's treated with suspicion about not having an ex wife or kids at his age.

JustErin said:

Man, I'd love to meet a dude around my age that has never been married or does not have kids.

That's no red flag, that's a green flag to me.

To me it means he didn't rush into anything, or was smart about living his life for him while he was young - which we should all do.

Plus, he doesn't bring baby-mamma, ex wife drama into the picture.

And this is exactly how I look at it. Except, I already met that man.

Of course, I'm 37 and never married so I look at it from my own perspective. I wasn't ready and didn't want marriage when I ws younger. Once I knew I wanted it, it took some time to find anyone worth it. And if I didn't have my man now I'd probably still be single.

I'm sure there are plenty of folks who thinks it's "weird" to have never been married at my age, but I really don't care what they think.

JustErin said:

Man, I'd love to meet a dude around my age that has never been married or does not have kids.

That's no red flag, that's a green flag to me.

To me it means he didn't rush into anything, or was smart about living his life for him while he was young - which we should all do.

Plus, he doesn't bring baby-mamma, ex wife drama into the picture.

my thoughts exactly

I think it depends on what you are looking for. If you are tired of being single and looking

to hop into marriage, than sure, you might think twice about getting in a relationship with someone

who has gone that long without being married. It could be that they just do not plan on ever getting

married.

I also think it is harder for men, because they are usually depicted as "players." So when you

meet an older guy who has never been married or who has never had a "serious" long term

relationship than some women might jump to the conclusion that he is a "player," who doesn't

commit.

Marriage, even if the person got divorced, gives the illusion that the guy is comfortable with commitment.

I usually feel better about meeting a guy who I know has never been married.

JustErin said:

Man, I'd love to meet a dude around my age that has never been married or does not have kids.

That's no red flag, that's a green flag to me.

To me it means he didn't rush into anything, or was smart about living his life for him while he was young - which we should all do.

Plus, he doesn't bring baby-mamma, ex wife drama into the picture.

I wish I could meet more women like you.

Most of the time, I get "what's wrong with you?" or "are you gay?", even from some of my relatives.

i view him as perfectly okay. maybe, smarter than most

People who are middle aged and not married don't bother me in a sense. Hell I'm almost 30 and I won't ever get married. Those people have this saying: "I can do bad all by myself, I don't need no help." I doubt that type of person would be a problem at all.

[Edited 10/23/12 10:28am]

Marriage has nothing to do with being in a serious relationship or not. I was never married, but anybody who would see me as not being comitted in relationships because of that knows nothing at all about me. My previous relationship lasted for 17 years and the only thing that was different to marriage was that contract missing. My ex's mother always introduced me to everybody as her daughter-in-law and after a while I gave up correcting her .

My current bf is divorced and has 2 children from that marriage and I would prefer if he had not been married before and had no children. So no like some already said here, no red flag at all.

I'm currently seeing a guy who's 33 and never been married and has no kids.

I personally think it's a sign of character. To me, it means he doesn't rush into things easily. He takes his time, and chooses wisely.

No red flag for me. Matter fact, my dad was 36 when he married my mom, and he was never married previously, nor did he have any children from previous relationships.

So no problem at all.

CarrieMpls said:

JustErin said:

Man, I'd love to meet a dude around my age that has never been married or does not have kids.

That's no red flag, that's a green flag to me.

To me it means he didn't rush into anything, or was smart about living his life for him while he was young - which we should all do.

Plus, he doesn't bring baby-mamma, ex wife drama into the picture.

And this is exactly how I look at it. Except, I already met that man.

Of course, I'm 37 and never married so I look at it from my own perspective. I wasn't ready and didn't want marriage when I ws younger. Once I knew I wanted it, it took some time to find anyone worth it. And if I didn't have my man now I'd probably still be single.

I'm sure there are plenty of folks who thinks it's "weird" to have never been married at my age, but I really don't care what they think.

I'm pretty much on this page right here, and that coming from a person who had no understanding of the depth of what marriage should be until I reached a certain age and maturity, and used to treat my own rather flightily as a young girl. I was a nincompoop, as was any dope who was involved with me until the latter stages of my life in the last few years

I'm 45 and single, with no children.

I would love to meet someone in a similar situation...

I try not to see it as a red flag, because I don't want to be SEEN as a red flag because I haven't found anyone...

I like to go to concerts and just kind of chill.

When I was younger, I was a little more willing to adapt and possibly fall into a ready-made situation. Not as much anymore... He'd have to be pretty fabulous. (Just being honest!)

But the last few I met: I saw why they were still single.

LadyCasanova said:

I think it depends on what you are looking for. If you are tired of being single and looking

to hop into marriage, than sure, you might think twice about getting in a relationship with someone

who has gone that long without being married. It could be that they just do not plan on ever getting

married.

I also think it is harder for men, because they are usually depicted as "players." So when you

meet an older guy who has never been married or who has never had a "serious" long term

relationship than some women might jump to the conclusion that he is a "player," who doesn't

commit.

Marriage, even if the person got divorced, gives the illusion that the guy is comfortable with commitment.

I usually feel better about meeting a guy who I know has never been married.

"Better?" Why exactly is that?

uPtoWnNY said:

JustErin said:

Man, I'd love to meet a dude around my age that has never been married or does not have kids.

That's no red flag, that's a green flag to me.

To me it means he didn't rush into anything, or was smart about living his life for him while he was young - which we should all do.

Plus, he doesn't bring baby-mamma, ex wife drama into the picture.

I wish I could meet more women like you.

Most of the time, I get "what's wrong with you?" or "are you gay?", even from some of my relatives.

^^^ THERE YOU GO.

uPtoWnNY said:

JustErin said:

Man, I'd love to meet a dude around my age that has never been married or does not have kids.

That's no red flag, that's a green flag to me.

To me it means he didn't rush into anything, or was smart about living his life for him while he was young - which we should all do.

Plus, he doesn't bring baby-mamma, ex wife drama into the picture.

I wish I could meet more women like you.

Most of the time, I get "what's wrong with you?" or "are you gay?", even from some of my relatives.

XxAxX said:

i view him as perfectly okay. maybe, smarter than most

yeah, absolutely.

Timmy84 said:

People who are middle aged and not married don't bother me in a sense. Hell I'm almost 30 and I won't ever get married. Those people have this saying: "I can do bad all by myself, I don't need no help." I doubt that type of person would be a problem at all.

[Edited 10/23/12 10:28am]

...how can you be SURE?

Serious said:

Marriage has nothing to do with being in a serious relationship or not. I was never married, but anybody who would see me as not being comitted in relationships because of that knows nothing at all about me. My previous relationship lasted for 17 years and the only thing that was different to marriage was that contract missing. My ex's mother always introduced me to everybody as her daughter-in-law and after a while I gave up correcting her .

My current bf is divorced and has 2 children from that marriage and I would prefer if he had not been married before and had no children. So no like some already said here, no red flag at all.

PurpleJedi said:

Timmy84 said:

People who are middle aged and not married don't bother me in a sense. Hell I'm almost 30 and I won't ever get married. Those people have this saying: "I can do bad all by myself, I don't need no help." I doubt that type of person would be a problem at all.

[Edited 10/23/12 10:28am]

...how can you be SURE?

I'm positive.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

I'm currently seeing a guy who's 33 and never been married and has no kids.

I personally think it's a sign of character. To me, it means he doesn't rush into things easily. He takes his time, and chooses wisely.

No red flag for me. Matter fact, my dad was 36 when he married my mom, and he was never married previously, nor did he have any children from previous relationships.

So no problem at all.

Have you ever asked him why he "waited so long"?

Ottensen said:

CarrieMpls said:

And this is exactly how I look at it. Except, I already met that man.

Of course, I'm 37 and never married so I look at it from my own perspective. I wasn't ready and didn't want marriage when I ws younger. Once I knew I wanted it, it took some time to find anyone worth it. And if I didn't have my man now I'd probably still be single.

I'm sure there are plenty of folks who thinks it's "weird" to have never been married at my age, but I really don't care what they think.

I'm pretty much on this page right here, and that coming from a person who had no understanding of the depth of what marriage should be until I reached a certain age and maturity, and used to treat my own rather flightily as a young girl. I was a nincompoop, as was any dope who was involved with me until the latter stages of my life in the last few years

You're showing your age.

chocolate1 said:

I'm 45 and single, with no children.

I would love to meet someone in a similar situation...

I try not to see it as a red flag, because I don't want to be SEEN as a red flag because I haven't found anyone...

I like to go to concerts and just kind of chill.

When I was younger, I was a little more willing to adapt and possibly fall into a ready-made situation. Not as much anymore... He'd have to be pretty fabulous. (Just being honest!)

But the last few I met: I saw why they were still single.

Timmy84 said:

PurpleJedi said:

...how can you be SURE?

I'm positive.

More power to you!

PurpleJedi said:

Timmy84 said:

People who are middle aged and not married don't bother me in a sense. Hell I'm almost 30 and I won't ever get married. Those people have this saying: "I can do bad all by myself, I don't need no help." I doubt that type of person would be a problem at all.

[Edited 10/23/12 10:28am]

...how can you be SURE?

Part of me feels like that ship has sailed...

I wanted a husband to start a family. I'm no longer able or interested in giving birth...

I own my own home, and although a dual income sounds nice, I don't know how much I want to share my space constantly. I'd love a meaningful long-term relationship, but I don't feel like I need that certificate anymore.

Again... He'd have to be pretty damn fabulous.

JustErin said:

Man, I'd love to meet a dude around my age that has never been married or does not have kids.

That's no red flag, that's a green flag to me.

To me it means he didn't rush into anything, or was smart about living his life for him while he was young - which we should all do.

Plus, he doesn't bring baby-mamma, ex wife drama into the picture.

Hell, I wish I could find a man my age that has never been married. They would be more likely to be 100% gay and proud of it than be a closet bisexual who's warped in the head and says they're "straight" and just fools around, which are the type of men I don't tolerate. If I have to face the discrimation, so are they.

JustErin said:

Man, I'd love to meet a dude around my age that has never been married or does not have kids.

That's no red flag, that's a green flag to me.

To me it means he didn't rush into anything, or was smart about living his life for him while he was young - which we should all do.

Plus, he doesn't bring baby-mamma, ex wife drama into the picture.

This.