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Thread started 05/16/12 3:25pm

PurpleJedi

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When does a relationship end for good?

The whole hot mess with Deion Sanders and Pilar got some co-workers talking;

After all the public drama, there is no chance in hell that they could ever reconcile.

Is there a point where a relation that is souring "crosses a line" so that reconciliation is IMPOSSIBLE?

They say "never say never" but you have to agree that there has to be a point of no return for most people.

For me...it was the day she looked at me straight in the eyes, swore on her father, and still gave me a bold-faced LIE about where she was going. That was the line in the sand that was crossed. There can be no future with someone who you can no longer trust (or respect).

What about YOU?

What would be the last nail in the coffin for a dying relationship for YOU?

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #1 posted 05/16/12 4:12pm

JustErin

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My relationships never ever end....EVER.

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Reply #2 posted 05/16/12 4:19pm

MrA

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Me and my mrs break up and get back together all the time I suppose once the loves gone then thats it but it hasnt happened yet.

No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking!
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Reply #3 posted 05/16/12 4:26pm

JoeTyler

Perhaps NOBODY will agree with me, but for me it's over when, some months (perhaps even a whole year) after the physical breakup, you look back and think about the good times, but ALSO about the bad times, realizing that it was all worth it at THAT time, but NOT ANYMORE, so the chapter is OVER...time to find something new, and hopefully, better...

tinkerbell
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Reply #4 posted 05/16/12 4:45pm

missfee

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It ends for good when you can no longer see yourself with that person, ever.

I will forever love and miss you...my sweet Prince.
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Reply #5 posted 05/16/12 5:29pm

KingBAD

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when it's over...

and everybody knows when that is

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #6 posted 05/16/12 6:04pm

728huey

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Well, I suppose in one case the relationship ends when the corpse of a once blushing bride is found in a bathtub with multiple stab wounds while still wearing the wedding dress. stab omg omfg cry sad bawl pissed sigh disbelief

http://www.suntimes.com/n...-call.html

typing

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Reply #7 posted 05/16/12 6:04pm

Visionnaire

In my experience, the relationship ends for good when I tell the bitch not to let the door hit her fat ass on her way out.
I find that that's usually a solid way to punctuate the period at the end of a sentence.


[Edited 5/16/12 22:33pm]

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Reply #8 posted 05/16/12 6:30pm

PurpleJedi

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728huey said:

Well, I suppose in one case the relationship ends when the corpse of a once blushing bride is found in a bathtub with multiple stab wounds while still wearing the wedding dress. stab omg omfg cry sad bawl pissed sigh disbelief

http://www.suntimes.com/n...-call.html

typing

Uhm...yeah well that definitely works.

sad

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #9 posted 05/16/12 6:35pm

PurpleJedi

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Come on people...there HAS to be SOMETHING that your mate/spouse/significant other could do that would make you walk out the door and never look back!

I mean...take Deion and Pilar...when the MF had his CHILDREN sign a police report against her; I think that's when the line was crossed. There can be NO hope of them EVER getting back together.

hmph!

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #10 posted 05/16/12 10:48pm

imago

For me, it was when I had to write very detailed email explaining to him why it was over.

Here's an excerpt:

Dear Ren,

Stop stalking me on the org and facebook. Look, just because I make animated gifs and photoshopped images of you does not mean I want to pursue a relationship with you. Isn't it bad enough that I support your lackluster and embarassing threads about men-in-high-heels, failed relationships, and orger makeover threads? And why does your avatar have Ewan Mcreggor and a Prince symbol combined in it anyways? purse !!! UGH!!!!! You org men are all the same.

I wish I could show you more, but it would just be to much for me to stomach.

disbelief

[Edited 5/17/12 4:58am]

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Reply #11 posted 05/17/12 12:35am

Jagar

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imago said:

For me, it was when I had to write very detailed email explaining to him why it was over.

Here's an excerpt:

Dear Ren,

Stop stalking me on the org and facebook. Look, just because I make animated gifs and photoshopped images of you does not mean I want to pursue a relationship with you. Isn't it bad enough that I support your lackluster and embarassing threads about men-in-high-heels, failed relationships, and orger makeover threads? And why does your avatar have Ian Mcreggor and a Prince symbol combined in it anyways? purse !!! UGH!!!!! You org men are all the same.

I wish I could show you more, but it would just be to much for me to stomach.

disbelief

That PurpleJedi guy also has a picture of Ewan McGregor and a prince symbol.

What a Coincidence!

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Reply #12 posted 05/17/12 4:50am

Dave1992

Never?

They just get worse or start to stall. But you'll always have a relationship with every person you ever met.

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Reply #13 posted 05/17/12 5:23am

ThisOne

when the person u loved hurts u immensely and no matter how hard u try u just cant 4give them

and u suddenly know u r better off with out them in your life and u realize u can do sooooooooo much more better than being with a f'wit loser who only cared about him/her self!!!!!

that's when u know and that's also when u r ready to move on!!!!

bheart

[Edited 5/17/12 5:24am]

mailto:www.iDon'tThinkSo.com.Uranus
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Reply #14 posted 05/17/12 5:48am

PurpleJedi

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imago said:

For me, it was when I had to write very detailed email explaining to him why it was over.

Here's an excerpt:

Dear Ren,

Stop stalking me on the org and facebook. Look, just because I make animated gifs and photoshopped images of you does not mean I want to pursue a relationship with you. Isn't it bad enough that I support your lackluster and embarassing threads about men-in-high-heels, failed relationships, and orger makeover threads? And why does your avatar have Ewan Mcreggor and a Prince symbol combined in it anyways? purse !!! UGH!!!!! You org men are all the same.

I wish I could show you more, but it would just be to much for me to stomach.

disbelief

There isn't a fishslap animated gif substantial enough to express my disdain.

So I'm stealing one of your bricks.

brick

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #15 posted 05/17/12 5:50am

PurpleJedi

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Jagar said:

That PurpleJedi guy also has a picture of Ewan McGregor and a prince symbol.

What a Coincidence!

fishslap

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #16 posted 05/17/12 5:57am

PurpleJedi

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Dave1992 said:

Never?

They just get worse or start to stall. But you'll always have a relationship with every person you ever met.

Not EVERY person you meet Dave. One of my biggest crushes was also one of my most dissapointing dates ever...and I got the "just want to be friends" speech the next day.

Haven't seen or spoken to her in over 20 years.

But to clarify, when I wrote "relationship" I meant to say "committed relationship" as in; boyfriend/girlfriend, significant other, fiancee, partner, spouse, etc.

Friends do not count in this particular thread...although we could probably start an interesting thread about whether or not exes can ever truly be "friends".

hmmm

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #17 posted 05/17/12 5:58am

PurpleJedi

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ThisOne said:

when the person u loved hurts u immensely and no matter how hard u try u just cant 4give them

and u suddenly know u r better off with out them in your life and u realize u can do sooooooooo much more better than being with a f'wit loser who only cared about him/her self!!!!!

that's when u know and that's also when u r ready to move on!!!!

bheart

hug

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #18 posted 05/17/12 6:11am

Dave1992

PurpleJedi said:

Dave1992 said:

Never?

They just get worse or start to stall. But you'll always have a relationship with every person you ever met.

Not EVERY person you meet Dave. One of my biggest crushes was also one of my most dissapointing dates ever...and I got the "just want to be friends" speech the next day.

Haven't seen or spoken to her in over 20 years.

But to clarify, when I wrote "relationship" I meant to say "committed relationship" as in; boyfriend/girlfriend, significant other, fiancee, partner, spouse, etc.

Friends do not count in this particular thread...although we could probably start an interesting thread about whether or not exes can ever truly be "friends".

hmmm

Right... I've always had my difficulties putting those kind of labels on relationships. I know they exist and I know why they do, but I couldn't apply them myself.

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Reply #19 posted 05/17/12 7:21am

KingBAD

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i had a woman cheat, then lie about it.

the cheatin wasn't as much an issue as the lie

and then she wanted to physicly act out when

i expressed my desire to be alone that day.

alot of things could have been rectified

the cheatin, maybe the lie, BUT ALL THREE???

it was a trifecta of doom for her...

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #20 posted 05/17/12 8:15am

paintedlady

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Concerning "romantic" relationships...

Its over when he no longer affects my mood. When he comes by and I no longer wonder if he's been thinking of me. I have moved on, I do not wish him any harm and have no desire to keep him in an active role in my daily life. I don't even miss him when I think of the good memories I shared with him. I don't even care of he's met someone new because it just doesn't matter. I only look forward to what is in front of me, and I think back with a prudent spirit of what being with him has taught me.

I learned I can not be friends with a babydaddy.

If I share a child with a man I will and do eat crow (if I have to) and allow him to have a relationship with his child. My feelings are always besides the point when it comes to being a decent mom that allows a father to see his children.

Once the child is 18, only then can I allow my feelings to come first and it is up to the child to take hold of the reigns of his/her relationship with their father if him and I are not together.

I stay polite but I can not be too friendly for my own sanity and to make sure the relationship with father and child stays intact.

Children always complicate things.

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Reply #21 posted 05/17/12 8:18am

PurpleJedi

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Dave1992 said:

PurpleJedi said:

Not EVERY person you meet Dave. One of my biggest crushes was also one of my most dissapointing dates ever...and I got the "just want to be friends" speech the next day.

Haven't seen or spoken to her in over 20 years.

But to clarify, when I wrote "relationship" I meant to say "committed relationship" as in; boyfriend/girlfriend, significant other, fiancee, partner, spouse, etc.

Friends do not count in this particular thread...although we could probably start an interesting thread about whether or not exes can ever truly be "friends".

hmmm

Right... I've always had my difficulties putting those kind of labels on relationships. I know they exist and I know why they do, but I couldn't apply them myself.

That's cool. nod

Enjoy the uncommitted thing for as long as possible.

Youth is to be enjoyed.

highfive

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #22 posted 05/17/12 8:19am

PurpleJedi

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KingBAD said:

i had a woman cheat, then lie about it.

the cheatin wasn't as much an issue as the lie

and then she wanted to physicly act out when

i expressed my desire to be alone that day.

alot of things could have been rectified

the cheatin, maybe the lie, BUT ALL THREE???

it was a trifecta of doom for her...

A Trifecta Of Doom for Her

woot!

That is awesome man!

Can I borrow that phrase for my novel?

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #23 posted 05/17/12 8:25am

PurpleJedi

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paintedlady said:

Concerning "romantic" relationships...

Its over when he no longer affects my mood. When he comes by and I no longer wonder if he's been thinking of me. I have moved on, I do not wish him any harm and have no desire to keep him in an active role in my daily life. I don't even miss him when I think of the good memories I shared with him. I don't even care of he's met someone new because it just doesn't matter. I only look forward to what is in front of me, and I think back with a prudent spirit of what being with him has taught me.

I learned I can not be friends with a babydaddy.

If I share a child with a man I will and do eat crow (if I have to) and allow him to have a relationship with his child. My feelings are always besides the point when it comes to being a decent mom that allows a father to see his children.

Once the child is 18, only then can I allow my feelings to come first and it is up to the child to take hold of the reigns of his/her relationship with their father if him and I are not together.

I stay polite but I can not be too friendly for my own sanity and to make sure the relationship with father and child stays intact.

Children always complicate things.

thumbs up!

BUT...what if you still have feelings and that person still affects your mood (as much as you don't want it to) and they've crossed a line?

The fact that you still wonder if that person thinks about you still leaves room for reconciliation (in your mind)?

See...moving on and ending the relationship...to me...are separate issues. You can move on emotionally and THEN end the relationship, or end the relationship and THEN move on emotionally.

I of course understand that if there are children, there will ALWAYS be some sort of "relationship"...but the partnership is over & done with at some point.

What do you think?

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #24 posted 05/17/12 8:46am

paintedlady

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PurpleJedi said:

paintedlady said:

Concerning "romantic" relationships...

Its over when he no longer affects my mood. When he comes by and I no longer wonder if he's been thinking of me. I have moved on, I do not wish him any harm and have no desire to keep him in an active role in my daily life. I don't even miss him when I think of the good memories I shared with him. I don't even care of he's met someone new because it just doesn't matter. I only look forward to what is in front of me, and I think back with a prudent spirit of what being with him has taught me.

I learned I can not be friends with a babydaddy.

If I share a child with a man I will and do eat crow (if I have to) and allow him to have a relationship with his child. My feelings are always besides the point when it comes to being a decent mom that allows a father to see his children.

Once the child is 18, only then can I allow my feelings to come first and it is up to the child to take hold of the reigns of his/her relationship with their father if him and I are not together.

I stay polite but I can not be too friendly for my own sanity and to make sure the relationship with father and child stays intact.

Children always complicate things.

thumbs up!

BUT...what if you still have feelings and that person still affects your mood (as much as you don't want it to) and they've crossed a line?

The fact that you still wonder if that person thinks about you still leaves room for reconciliation (in your mind)?

See...moving on and ending the relationship...to me...are separate issues. You can move on emotionally and THEN end the relationship, or end the relationship and THEN move on emotionally.

I of course understand that if there are children, there will ALWAYS be some sort of "relationship"...but the partnership is over & done with at some point.

What do you think?

Apathy is the opposite of love, not hate. IMHO.

If an ex can still anger you or bother you upon sight that means you are NOT over them.

They still affect your mood because you share feelings for that person. If children are involved THAT can be a big problem.

Now walk past a stranger you do not know... that person can not anger you or make you feel happy, they are just there, you don't know them. They are nothing to you so you feel nothing. You wish them no harm, nor are you happy if you see that stranger... you may not even notice their existence.

^^^ When your feelings of an ex no longer effect you, this is when you are OVER them. There is no feeling.... good or bad. You know them but there is no anger, pain, nor happiness associated with that person.

THAT is what I am talking about.

... and for YOUR sanity, get to that point ASAP if the babymomma is trifiling. Seriously.

I have TWO babydaddies.... and I worked hard to get to that point withy them both so they didn't hurt or lure me to do dumb stuff that would affect the kids.

Babydaddy of my 21year old son has ZERO contact with me outside of the courts.

Babydaddy of my 11 and 9 yr. olds sees his kids and is welcomed in my home but only comes by bi-annually because I won't have sex with him nor allow him to move in.

shrug

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Reply #25 posted 05/17/12 10:26am

KingBAD

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PurpleJedi said:

KingBAD said:

i had a woman cheat, then lie about it.

the cheatin wasn't as much an issue as the lie

and then she wanted to physicly act out when

i expressed my desire to be alone that day.

alot of things could have been rectified

the cheatin, maybe the lie, BUT ALL THREE???

it was a trifecta of doom for her...

A Trifecta Of Doom for Her

woot!

That is awesome man!

Can I borrow that phrase for my novel?

make it a title and give me 'honorable mention' thumbs up!

lol

and thank you for askin cool

youtoocooledit

[Edited 5/17/12 10:28am]

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #26 posted 05/17/12 10:40am

missfee

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paintedlady said:

PurpleJedi said:

thumbs up!

BUT...what if you still have feelings and that person still affects your mood (as much as you don't want it to) and they've crossed a line?

The fact that you still wonder if that person thinks about you still leaves room for reconciliation (in your mind)?

See...moving on and ending the relationship...to me...are separate issues. You can move on emotionally and THEN end the relationship, or end the relationship and THEN move on emotionally.

I of course understand that if there are children, there will ALWAYS be some sort of "relationship"...but the partnership is over & done with at some point.

What do you think?

Apathy is the opposite of love, not hate. IMHO.

If an ex can still anger you or bother you upon sight that means you are NOT over them.

They still affect your mood because you share feelings for that person. If children are involved THAT can be a big problem.

Now walk past a stranger you do not know... that person can not anger you or make you feel happy, they are just there, you don't know them. They are nothing to you so you feel nothing. You wish them no harm, nor are you happy if you see that stranger... you may not even notice their existence.

^^^ When your feelings of an ex no longer effect you, this is when you are OVER them. There is no feeling.... good or bad. You know them but there is no anger, pain, nor happiness associated with that person.

THAT is what I am talking about.

That's how I feel about my ex from a year and some change ago. Don't really think about him at all. But the one before him, according to your theory, I guess I'm not over 100%. The site of him boils my blood, I hope he rots in hell. With that said, I don't know why I still share any type of feelings for that asshole. Sure there was history there, but it doesn't change the outcome of our failed relationship and the person that I finally saw him for. I couldn't imagine ever having another conversation with him ever. Attempting to have a friendship with him a couple of years after we officially broke up was definitely the WRONG move. disbelief Urgh.

I will forever love and miss you...my sweet Prince.
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Reply #27 posted 05/17/12 10:48am

KingBAD

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the opposite of hate, is INDIFFERENCE geek

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
STOP ME IF YOU HEARD THIS BEFORE...
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Reply #28 posted 05/17/12 11:10am

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

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PurpleJedi said:

What about YOU?

What would be the last nail in the coffin for a dying relationship for YOU?

If my bf ever hit me we’d be done. Other than that, it’s tough to say until it happens.

He and I have been talking about living a long life together so we have these conversations from time to time where we go over “what if…?” scenarios and how we think we’d handle them. But those are based on how we would handle it and stay together, not what would be a deal breaker.

However, I HAVE told him if he ever were to cheat on me that means he’s decided it’s already over. There’s likely no coming back from it, so have some dignity and just end it with me first. Or talk to me. Or whatever. Let’s deal with it before it happens, not after.

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Reply #29 posted 05/17/12 11:21am

PurpleJedi

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CarrieMpls said:

PurpleJedi said:

What about YOU?

What would be the last nail in the coffin for a dying relationship for YOU?

If my bf ever hit me we’d be done. Other than that, it’s tough to say until it happens.

He and I have been talking about living a long life together so we have these conversations from time to time where we go over “what if…?” scenarios and how we think we’d handle them. But those are based on how we would handle it and stay together, not what would be a deal breaker.

However, I HAVE told him if he ever were to cheat on me that means he’s decided it’s already over. There’s likely no coming back from it, so have some dignity and just end it with me first. Or talk to me. Or whatever. Let’s deal with it before it happens, not after.

I agree with you on that. nod

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