angel345 said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Wow, a man in uniform with an accent? Whew, I wouldn't have been on my best behavior around dude at all But yeah it seems like the guy is dramatic about stuff and he enjoys the back and forth. Latin guys are pretty passionate? lol stereotypes notwithstanding

That seems to be the stereotype about Latin men, and there are predominately Puerto Ricans in the Bronx section of NYC. You must know by now this is where J-Lo is from. He's been here in America about all of his life. No accent. He was an absolute flirt, but he's married. A lot of us were infatuated with him He was messing with another female cop, who's also married. One day the husband(who is also a cop) came up to the command. It was an coldness about this dude, and I got bad vibes. I left for awhile, and came back because I've decided if this fool started shooting, I am out of the way Cops happened to have the highest divorce rate. Anyway, be careful with this guy of yours.

All of you were right about him being a jerk. Today online, again talking a few hours he started going off into a tangent about how he feels like a failure in life and said that he felt like everything leading up to this point has been meaningless. Then, he started talking like he wanted to end his life and said that at least with death he couldn't feel like a failure. Like a total idiot, I felt sorry for him and listened for TWO HOURS about how bad he felt and tried to give him encouragement and then he's like, "Oh im laughing hysterically now" and said he was kidding....

If you will excuse me now, I'm going back into my cave and will pick up again where I left off...screw dating and screw opening up to guys. Every time I try it doesn't work. I welcome being a crazy cat lady!

SeventeenDayze said:

angel345 said:

That seems to be the stereotype about Latin men, and there are predominately Puerto Ricans in the Bronx section of NYC. You must know by now this is where J-Lo is from. He's been here in America about all of his life. No accent. He was an absolute flirt, but he's married. A lot of us were infatuated with him He was messing with another female cop, who's also married. One day the husband(who is also a cop) came up to the command. It was an coldness about this dude, and I got bad vibes. I left for awhile, and came back because I've decided if this fool started shooting, I am out of the way Cops happened to have the highest divorce rate. Anyway, be careful with this guy of yours.

All of you were right about him being a jerk. Today online, again talking a few hours he started going off into a tangent about how he feels like a failure in life and said that he felt like everything leading up to this point has been meaningless. Then, he started talking like he wanted to end his life and said that at least with death he couldn't feel like a failure. Like a total idiot, I felt sorry for him and listened for TWO HOURS about how bad he felt and tried to give him encouragement and then he's like, "Oh im laughing hysterically now" and said he was kidding....

If you will excuse me now, I'm going back into my cave and will pick up again where I left off...screw dating and screw opening up to guys. Every time I try it doesn't work. I welcome being a crazy cat lady!

No

Do like your cats do. Curl up in a ball and lick your wounds and self sooth, but then get the hell back out there.

Act like a cat. There tail is held high and they walk like they own the world even after they slid off of a piece of furniture they meant to land on. They act like "I did that on purpose".

Someone told me, "don't ever let them see you sweat". I didn't get it. I thought if people see that you are sweating maybe they will back off a bit, ease up and show some pity.

I was wrong. Very wrong.

Don't tell this asshole off, (if you haven't already) just ignore this motherfucker. Be very busy. Chat up plenty of men. Chatting is not something to make a monogomous activity.

Also be careful about "opening up". I read something recently about what Chris Rock once said on dating. " You are not you on a first date, you are the ambassador of you." Keep unflattering personal info to a minimum. You are not just out there to meet "Mr Right" you are also out there to have a great time, laugh and get to know people.

Deadflow3r said:

SeventeenDayze said:

All of you were right about him being a jerk. Today online, again talking a few hours he started going off into a tangent about how he feels like a failure in life and said that he felt like everything leading up to this point has been meaningless. Then, he started talking like he wanted to end his life and said that at least with death he couldn't feel like a failure. Like a total idiot, I felt sorry for him and listened for TWO HOURS about how bad he felt and tried to give him encouragement and then he's like, "Oh im laughing hysterically now" and said he was kidding....

If you will excuse me now, I'm going back into my cave and will pick up again where I left off...screw dating and screw opening up to guys. Every time I try it doesn't work. I welcome being a crazy cat lady!

No

Do like your cats do. Curl up in a ball and lick your wounds and self sooth, but then get the hell back out there.

Act like a cat. There tail is held high and they walk like they own the world even after they slid off of a piece of furniture they meant to land on. They act like "I did that on purpose".

Someone told me, "don't ever let them see you sweat". I didn't get it. I thought if people see that you are sweating maybe they will back off a bit, ease up and show some pity.

I was wrong. Very wrong.

Don't tell this asshole off, (if you haven't already) just ignore this motherfucker. Be very busy. Chat up plenty of men. Chatting is not something to make a monogomous activity.

Also be careful about "opening up". I read something recently about what Chris Rock once said on dating. " You are not you on a first date, you are the ambassador of you." Keep unflattering personal info to a minimum. You are not just out there to meet "Mr Right" you are also out there to have a great time, laugh and get to know people.

Now he says he's okay and he's unblocked me...man, this is too much, I'm done!

SeventeenDayze said:

angel345 said:

You know, hit a home run with you? Papi Chulo sounds like a piece of work

Just when I thought he had logged off for the night, he came back again for like another hour....and then was like, "I'm not into you" and I was like, "Whatever, then why do you chat with me like this every night then, psycho" lol

Anybody here on the Org Puerto Rican? Is this normal for you guys to fight all the time??? Not even being racist just curious lol

He already has a woman it sounds like... he don't want you... just your pussy and ONLY because he's bored with his lady right now...

Just my honest opinion.

SeventeenDayze said:

Deadflow3r said:

No

Do like your cats do. Curl up in a ball and lick your wounds and self sooth, but then get the hell back out there.

Act like a cat. There tail is held high and they walk like they own the world even after they slid off of a piece of furniture they meant to land on. They act like "I did that on purpose".

Someone told me, "don't ever let them see you sweat". I didn't get it. I thought if people see that you are sweating maybe they will back off a bit, ease up and show some pity.

I was wrong. Very wrong.

Don't tell this asshole off, (if you haven't already) just ignore this motherfucker. Be very busy. Chat up plenty of men. Chatting is not something to make a monogomous activity.

Also be careful about "opening up". I read something recently about what Chris Rock once said on dating. " You are not you on a first date, you are the ambassador of you." Keep unflattering personal info to a minimum. You are not just out there to meet "Mr Right" you are also out there to have a great time, laugh and get to know people.

Now he says he's okay and he's unblocked me...man, this is too much, I'm done!

OK... too harsh before...

this dude is just fucking with your head. He likes attention. He's bored. He needs a toy.

Its up to you if you are gonna be that "toy" for him.

Its OK to have a crush... its not OK to get crushed emotionally by a dude.

I wouldn't waste my time with him. I would run.

[Edited 11/26/11 10:00am]

paintedlady said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Now he says he's okay and he's unblocked me...man, this is too much, I'm done!

OK... too harsh before...

this dude is just fucking with your head. He likes attention. He's bored. He needs a toy.

Its up to you if you are gonna be that "toy" for him.

Its OK to have a crush... its not OK to get crushed emotionally by a dude.

I wouldn't waste my time with him. I would run.

[Edited 11/26/11 10:00am]

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

People treat you like you treat yourself.

Vendetta1 use to have this quote by Mark Twain on her posts. It read something like this;

Do not make another person your priority when they make you their option.

Any damage done after this point to you emotionally is your fault.

He made it clear what your value is to him.

Be a cat with your tail and nose in the air and not a puppy following him around, begging for attention. with your tail between your legs.

Let him say he is sorry a gazillion times. Unless he suffers for you. ie lives on Ramen noodles for a month to buy you "a please forgive me present WORTH A MONTHS SALARY" does he even get another "hello" out of you.

LISTEN to paintedlady , don't walk, RUN

paintedlady said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Now he says he's okay and he's unblocked me...man, this is too much, I'm done!

OK... too harsh before...

this dude is just fucking with your head. He likes attention. He's bored. He needs a toy.

Its up to you if you are gonna be that "toy" for him.

Its OK to have a crush... its not OK to get crushed emotionally by a dude.

I wouldn't waste my time with him. I would run.

Can we get that on a T-shirt?

I prefer a needy, desperate chick.

novabrkr said:

I prefer a needy, desperate chick.

...cheaper than mail-order brides, right?

PurpleJedi said:

novabrkr said:

I prefer a needy, desperate chick.

...cheaper than mail-order brides, right?

Oh. "Real" and "independent" women are the ones you should go for if you aim to save a buck. They always insist on paying their own bills and at least half of the rent if you end up shacking up with them.

I vote against this guy.

He sounds like a drama queen. Just run away from his as fast as you can.

I can advice everybody to be with someone who is kind, friendly, charming, honest, thinking about his own and your needs, open and has the guts to show his vulnerability. A nice guy. Who you can have great fun and sex with.

And who makes you feel great. And who you want to make feel great and happy. So, the both of you naturally do what is good for yourself and the other.

I really highly recommend somebody like that. At the moment I'm with somebody like that. And it's great. It's like being in heaven.

Maybe you like to read this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Sec...58-5120028

novabrkr said:

PurpleJedi said:

...cheaper than mail-order brides, right?

Oh. "Real" and "independent" women are the ones you should go for if you aim to save a buck. They always insist on paying their own bills and at least half of the rent if you end up shacking up with them.

All this time I had it backwards.

BlackAdder7 said:

"chicks"

and "birds"

Hurray for sisterhood.

purplethunder3121 said:

Funny how desperate, needy people never think of themselves as such.

paintedlady said:

This is why God made vibrators.

It helps to own a few.

not saying the OP needs one... just sayin'.

Men don't like desperate at all. They will either run in the opposite direction or worse, use it to their advantage.

Amen.

angel345 said:

Love is supposed to make you feel good, not bad. Fight everyday? Oh no However people have different perceptions on love

This.

Exactly this.

Run away from this guy and spend those hours on making yourself happy.

dJJ said:

purplethunder3121 said:

Funny how desperate, needy people never think of themselves as such.

No. Not you.

Uhm...wait a minute...how's that move to London panning out again?

j/k

dJJ said:

angel345 said:

Love is supposed to make you feel good, not bad. Fight everyday? Oh no However people have different perceptions on love

This.

Exactly this.

Run away from this guy and spend those hours on making yourself happy.

I've never had an experience with love that made me feel good. Nothing but anguish...

But I still hold out hope that one day, I'll be in love and be happy. I'm a fool, ain't I?

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

dJJ said:

This.

Exactly this.

Run away from this guy and spend those hours on making yourself happy.

I've never had an experience with love that made me feel good. Nothing but anguish...

But I still hold out hope that one day, I'll be in love and be happy. I'm a fool, ain't I?

PurpleJedi said:

dJJ said:

No. Not you.

Uhm...wait a minute...how's that move to London panning out again?

j/k

Well, it's still my plan. He has been to Amsterdam for a long weekend and is coming soon for a month. Then Christmas & new year I'll be in London.

And I'm still crazy in love with him. He just is the nicest, charming, funniest and reasonable man on earth. I love him so much. We even had our first fight. It went very well, without any evil or anger behavior. Just a little drama and walking of to cool down. Than we were so grown up about it, talking and actually listening to eachother. Never experienced it like this. And I can highly recommend it. Hope this will last 4-ever.

And he really wants a family too. And I think he will be a great father.

I'm sooooooo happy and grateful at the moment.

Just have to stay in Amsterdam for the courtcases coming up. Then, I might move overthere for a while. Or he will move overhere. We'll see. We play it by ear.

It's just that I wish everybody could experience a nice, warm, save and sheltered love as we are experiencing at the moment.

dJJ said:

PurpleJedi said:

No. Not you.

Uhm...wait a minute...how's that move to London panning out again?

j/k

Well, it's still my plan. He has been to Amsterdam for a long weekend and is coming soon for a month. Then Christmas & new year I'll be in London.

And I'm still crazy in love with him. He just is the nicest, charming, funniest and reasonable man on earth. I love him so much. We even had our first fight. It went very well, without any evil or anger behavior. Just a little drama and walking of to cool down. Than we were so grown up about it, talking and actually listening to eachother. Never experienced it like this. And I can highly recommend it. Hope this will last 4-ever.

And he really wants a family too. And I think he will be a great father.

I'm sooooooo happy and grateful at the moment.

Just have to stay in Amsterdam for the courtcases coming up. Then, I might move overthere for a while. Or he will move overhere. We'll see. We play it by ear.

It's just that I wish everybody could experience a nice, warm, save and sheltered love as we are experiencing at the moment.

I like Needy ones that fall for my $$$

dollarsandcheese said:

I like Needy ones that fall for my $$$

You'r at the right place then.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

I've never had an experience with love that made me feel good. Nothing but anguish...

But I still hold out hope that one day, I'll be in love and be happy. I'm a fool, ain't I?

I am exactly the same way. I feel like one day my ship HAS to come in.

It reminds me of the story of the ever optimistic child whose parents got him a bucket of shit for his birthday. His response was to keep digging through it, "with all this shit, there has to be a pony in there somewhere".

I don't care if I have to wait until I am 70, I just want to know true love once in this lifetime.

IDontBelieveYouHeardMe said:

What does the term "real woman" mean anyway? Given that most of the women who seem to describe themselves as "real" tend to be overweight, overbearing, over-opinionated and over the top, I'll take it to mean "fat, loudmouthed bitch". But that's just my opinion. No offence meant towards OP, who I'm sure is none of the above.

Your opinion is simply ridiculous and not based in fact. And I'll leave it at that for fear that you refer to me as a fat loudmouthed bitch.

To answer to OP, I don't know a single man who truly knows what he wants. I ask a friend what he is looking for and he goes out and ends up with the exact opposite. And I find most of my male friedns are not truthful about what they are looking for in the first place.

I posed your question to a male friend yesterday and he said, yes, some men do want needy and desperate women because those women allow men to treat them any kind of way and those women accept it. Some men reject "real" women because they cannot accept that a woman does not need them for anything: not a paycheck, not a ride, not a place to live, nada.

it sounds to me that the person you are talking about is indeed needy. You are kind and have lent him your ear. it is up to you if you want to deal with it. Perhaps you can and he has some other characteristics that outweigh the lesser ones.

I wish you luck and all the happiness in the world.

MarySharon said:

Men, stay away from chicks who are single moms, orphans, widows, homeless, divorced, disabled, etc... shall I go on?

In other words, there's always a bastard somewhere to call you desperate or drama queen.

Quoted for truth.

Some men believe that we single moms are desperate. They believe that us more than size 6 girls are desperate and like MarySharon said, I could go on and on.

I am not a classic beauty and some even refer to me as ugly. I have been approached by men who obviously thought I was hard up for sex because of this, only to turn them down, and have them call me an "ugly bitch" as they walked away. So who was desperate, me or you?

And as MarySharon said in her last statement I believe, there is always a man around who will label you SOMETHING. I believe somen men prefer for a woman to keep her mouth shut or be ready to slap a label on her such a drama queen.

If we really break this subject down, why aren't men so readily labeled the same?

dollarsandcheese said:

I like Needy ones that fall for my $$$

Vendetta1 said:

MarySharon said:

Men, stay away from chicks who are single moms, orphans, widows, homeless, divorced, disabled, etc... shall I go on?

In other words, there's always a bastard somewhere to call you desperate or drama queen.

Quoted for truth.

Some men believe that we single moms are desperate. They believe that us more than size 6 girls are desperate and like MarySharon said, I could go on and on.

I am not a classic beauty and some even refer to me as ugly. I have been approached by men who obviously thought I was hard up for sex because of this, only to turn them down, and have them call me an "ugly bitch" as they walked away. So who was desperate, me or you?

And as MarySharon said in her last statement I believe, there is always a man around who will label you SOMETHING. I believe somen men prefer for a woman to keep her mouth shut or be ready to slap a label on her such a drama queen.

If we really break this subject down, why aren't men so readily labeled the same?

I honestly think most men don't know what they want in a woman. If a woman just sits there quietly and doesn't give her opinion over every little thing, then she's labeled passive agressive. But if she speaks her mind and you know her position on things at that exact moment and don't have to read her mind, then she's nagging.

At the same time, I think women make the mistake of trying to figure out what they are doing wrong as far as not catching the "right men". But let's think about this, do men ever sit around thinking about what they are doing wrong that they aren't catching the "right women"? I don't think they do.

missfee said:

Vendetta1 said:

Quoted for truth.

Some men believe that we single moms are desperate. They believe that us more than size 6 girls are desperate and like MarySharon said, I could go on and on.

I am not a classic beauty and some even refer to me as ugly. I have been approached by men who obviously thought I was hard up for sex because of this, only to turn them down, and have them call me an "ugly bitch" as they walked away. So who was desperate, me or you?

And as MarySharon said in her last statement I believe, there is always a man around who will label you SOMETHING. I believe somen men prefer for a woman to keep her mouth shut or be ready to slap a label on her such a drama queen.

If we really break this subject down, why aren't men so readily labeled the same?

I honestly think most men don't know what they want in a woman. If a woman just sits there quietly and doesn't give her opinion over every little thing, then she's labeled passive agressive. But if she speaks her mind and you know her position on things at that exact moment and don't have to read her mind, then she's nagging.

At the same time, I think women make the mistake of trying to figure out what they are doing wrong as far as not catching the "right men". But let's think about this, do men ever sit around thinking about what they are doing wrong that they aren't catching the "right women"? I don't think they do.

Are you seriously asking if we think men generally are reflecting on their own behavior when it comes to being with women?

missfee said:

Vendetta1 said:

Quoted for truth.

Some men believe that we single moms are desperate. They believe that us more than size 6 girls are desperate and like MarySharon said, I could go on and on.

I am not a classic beauty and some even refer to me as ugly. I have been approached by men who obviously thought I was hard up for sex because of this, only to turn them down, and have them call me an "ugly bitch" as they walked away. So who was desperate, me or you?

And as MarySharon said in her last statement I believe, there is always a man around who will label you SOMETHING. I believe somen men prefer for a woman to keep her mouth shut or be ready to slap a label on her such a drama queen.

If we really break this subject down, why aren't men so readily labeled the same?

I honestly think most men don't know what they want in a woman. If a woman just sits there quietly and doesn't give her opinion over every little thing, then she's labeled passive agressive. But if she speaks her mind and you know her position on things at that exact moment and don't have to read her mind, then she's nagging.

At the same time, I think women make the mistake of trying to figure out what they are doing wrong as far as not catching the "right men". But let's think about this, do men ever sit around thinking about what they are doing wrong that they aren't catching the "right women"? I don't think they do.

I agree with all of this. However, my days of what I am doing wrong to not catch the right man are over. Like I stated before, there will always be a man, or men, who will hold something in my life against me. Some will take that I am a single parent and not go any further, some will see I am not a size six and not go further. I've accepted this and I have also accepted that it their loss and not mine.

I just wish that some my male friends would stop bitching to me when those they see as outwardly perfect turn out to be the spawn of hell.